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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Jan 30 2012 at 10:39pm | IP Logged
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I've been having some discussion with my oldest about life beyond high school. And that's also brought thoughts about my oldest son's interest in becoming a priest to my thoughts. And I'm realizing that there will be opposition from some relatives (and others) with what I've been teaching. I have discussed it with my dh and he has no problems with it at this time (sometimes it takes some mulling before he'll mention something). But I am rather less sure of the reactions of some close relatives. Bizarrely enough, my mother who is not Catholic has already counciled my son that if God is calling him to something that that is what he should be doing.
It doesn't make sense to me to put a lot of money (especially if it includes loans) into paying for an education that you don't need the actual degree for your future plans. That there are many ways to continue to educate yourself and that you shouldn't be spending a lot of money for something that may or may not make sense. And I've noticed an inclination in some people to use the poor economy to push for kids to go to college with the idea to get a good job you have to be better qualified by education. My thought is almost the opposite in that you may not be able to get a job that pays enough to pay for that education.
And that should imply nothing against education. We talk about cheaper ways to become educated than spending money to live away from home and go to an expensive college. Now if that's needed for their goal, by all means, but what about getting general ed classes out of the way in cheaper ways before taking the classes that must be taken on campus.
But it has occured to me that there will be opposition for my oldest son from the same family members that would oppose the idea of delaying education if you don't know what you'd use it for, or if any of our children decide that college ed is not how they want to go. I look around me and yes there are people using their education for their jobs but there's also the couple that run the auto parts store, or the sporting goods (mainly hunting) store, or the gun smith or my mom making period costumes, etc. And they're making reasonable amounts of money, and they're reasonably happy doing these things.
So.. how to prepare the kids for that opposition? I'm just realizing that it hurts me to think of my children being excited and really thinking about what they want to do and really considering the financial aspects not just as a necessary evil but as either necessary or maybe unnecessary.. and dealing with those they expect to support them, actually attacking their dreams.  Maybe you just can't prepare them. Maybe all you can do is give them the good tools for thinking out what they want to do and help them pick up the pieces afterward.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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3ringcircus
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| Posted: Jan 30 2012 at 11:47pm | IP Logged
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Are there majors that would be useful in his career as a priest, or is this strictly a financial matter? Career-wise, I could see the value of a psychology, education, or religious studies. I really see your point about the cost of education though. My sister has a wonderful career in a field she studied in college. But, she has huge loans because her undergrad was so pricey. Her salary really doesn't cut it when the loan bill comes due each month. When the time comes for our LOs to get ready for college, we intend to steer them toward local schools w/ more reasonable tuition.
What do the seminaries expect from entrants? I know one of the orders of nuns wants the postulants to already have a college degree.
A friend of the family fully intends to become a priest. His immediate family is keeping it secret so that he is allowed more time to consider his plan carefully before making a final commitment. We only found out because we are more removed from the situation, and wouldn't be in a position to put pressure on him or have any expectation. He is currently in law school in France (they are French).
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Christine
Mom to my circus of boys: G-1/06, D-1/04, S-4/10
Started HS in Fall'12
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Jan 31 2012 at 12:12am | IP Logged
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Oh that son would need some college degree I think they recommend philosopy.
But my oldest daughter just doesn't really feel drawn toward anything at the moment so she was one I was thinking of more with the.. don't spend excessive amounts of money buying something when you don't know what you want to end up doing. And don't pick something just because other people expect you to go to college right out of high school.
Any undergrad degree should be able to do general ed courses online and/or through a community college though. Even some degrees can be done that way. So there are ways to reduce cost even getting a degree.
I guess it just seems like you should be able to share these things with fairly close family members when maybe you just can't.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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guitarnan
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| Posted: Jan 31 2012 at 12:14am | IP Logged
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I think young people who are considering all the aspects of future vocations should be praised and commended. Anyone considering a vocation to the religious life will eventually discover that massive student loan debt is an obstacle; isn't it better to try to avoid incurring that debt?
I have a former student who plans to major in math and work for the National Security Agency. She actively avoids situations that might compromise a futurte security clearance. My dancing daughter knows she can't ice skate, etc., the two months before her big show. So, too, should our young people have the opportunity to plan ahead in case the stirrings of a vocation become a true calling. It's hard as parents to figure out how to provide guidance and information, but we do need to find ways to help.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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lapazfarm
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| Posted: Jan 31 2012 at 12:35am | IP Logged
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Any time you go against the accepted norm you are going to get criticism.
In my family the accepted norm is to go to college straight from high school, no exceptions. To not go to college, to delay college, or to (heaven forbid!) attend junior college was/is simply unthinkable. And I went along with this, no questions asked, until pretty recently.
Now I am starting to realize that (duh!) may not be the best path for everyone, including my youngest son. He is 16 and has some very different ideas about his future. It has been difficult for me to accept that he may not be going the traditional route. But guess what, he is his mama's boy and I have always gone against the grain so why should I be surprised if he does the same? LOL!
Anyway, I don't DARE mention any of this to most of my family because they just wouldn't get it.
But. They really don't have to, do they?
I think the best thing we can do to prepare our kids for opposition is to show them our support for their decisions, 100%. As long as they know they have their parents behind them,cheering them on, they can be strong in their decisions until they have enough confidence that they don't even need our support any longer.
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Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
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MaryM
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| Posted: Jan 31 2012 at 1:41am | IP Logged
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JodieLyn wrote:
| Oh that son would need some college degree I think they recommend philosopy. |
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Generally, yes, as it gives them a head start on seminary studies, but if they don't have the background in philosophy they just take longer in seminary. A lot of our seminarians here are going to college seminary. For awhile college seminaries dwindled and more and more seminaries had later vocations (entering after degrees and working for awhile). Now we are seeing more and more young men in our diocese going right into seminary studies after high school.
Not answering your question of being prepared for opposition - but just my thoughts on education in prep for seminary. If one was inclined and open to entering the seminary, yes it makes more sense to put money and effort toward that - not some other degree that will just incur debt. If one discerns away from that vocation at a later time then could go toward a different field/training/degree.
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Mary M. in Denver
Our Domestic Church
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3ringcircus
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| Posted: Jan 31 2012 at 8:53am | IP Logged
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JodieLyn wrote:
Oh that son would need some college degree I think they recommend philosopy.
But my oldest daughter just doesn't really feel drawn toward anything at the moment so she was one I was thinking of more with the.. don't spend excessive amounts of money buying something when you don't know what you want to end up doing. And don't pick something just because other people expect you to go to college right out of high school.
Any undergrad degree should be able to do general ed courses online and/or through a community college though. Even some degrees can be done that way. So there are ways to reduce cost even getting a degree.
I guess it just seems like you should be able to share these things with fairly close family members when maybe you just can't. |
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This really makes me think. My brother and I were really close growing up. Very supportive, and encouraging of each other. Now that we both have LOs, it's clear that we make very different decisions. I raise an eyebrow when I think about how he started his DD in K at age 6.5 (public school), and I know he thinks HS is pretty out there. I imagine this sort of thing is only going to continue as our kids get older. Heck, even just naming a child is a subject for all siblings' and parents' opinions!
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Christine
Mom to my circus of boys: G-1/06, D-1/04, S-4/10
Started HS in Fall'12
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4Real Forums : High School Years and Beyond
Topic: How do you prepare your dc for opposition
