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High School Years and Beyond (Forum Locked Forum Locked)
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mom2mpr
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Posted: Oct 29 2011 at 11:52am | IP Logged Quote mom2mpr

I know I want ds to stay home. He is OK with it. I'm just scared. I don't know what to do Seton, MODG, K12, partial enrollment, do my own thing, etc. It seems the joy is gone this 8th grade year as I try to prepare him for just getting stuff done even if it seems silly/stupid to him. Yes, I can make my own transcript but I"m finding he reports better to his Latin tutor than to me and I just am feeling like a failure now and wanting to hold on when maybe he needs to go?
Thoughts-pep talk, please.

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Angie Mc
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Posted: Oct 29 2011 at 2:34pm | IP Logged Quote Angie Mc

Anne, I'll happily dive into this pep talk! My oldest graduated from homeschool and is doing well in her chosen field at her chosen college. My second is a sophomore at home for high school. We design our own curriculum, so if this a route you are interested in discussing, I'm your gal!

I, too, killed my first high schooler's 8th grade. I suddenly felt compelled to have her "prepared for high school" which included formalizing much of her studies. I regret some of that move (especially the part that contributed to anxiety and strained relationships) and learned a lot from that and made changes with my second.

I will ponder your question today as I run around like a wild woman and I'll get back to you either later today or early next week. I'll leave you with some questions to consider, too:

1. How mature is your student?
2. What are his future goals?
3. What are your local options? Partial high school enrollment? Community college? Tutors?
4. What does he want for his social life? What is available?
5. What are his academic strengths? Weaknesses?
6. What are his character strengths? Weaknesses?
7. What are his passions? What makes him happy?
8. What kind of support do you have?

Anne, your feelings are common and understandable. You want what is best for your child and feel the pressure of responsibility. Yet, I guarantee that you are not a failure. This isn't all on your shoulders! This is a team effort between you, your dh, your ds, and God...not in that order .

I don't buy the argument that most mothers should be overly cautious not to "hold on when maybe he needs to go." That's an emotional red herring! Surely each member of the family must question their motives and find them reasonable but there are very good reasons for some students to homeschool through high school that have nothing to do with emotions! Each student is called differently when it comes to how to high school. Figuring out the best fit for each student is the challenge.

Love,

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JodieLyn
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Posted: Oct 29 2011 at 3:03pm | IP Logged Quote JodieLyn

I hope I've been preparing my new high schooler.. but my thought wasn't so much to send her off to others as it was to help her learn to work independantly and try to listen to the things that she wants to do that she feels she could be missing by not going to the high school.

Teaching Textbooks for math
Artistic Pursuits since she wants art
Rosetta Stone for spanish

That gives us a good bit that she's in charge of.. and then it's much easier to work with her in History and Religion and Writing and Literature.

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mom2mpr
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Posted: Nov 23 2011 at 7:44am | IP Logged Quote mom2mpr

Angie Mc wrote:


I will ponder your question today as I run around like a wild woman and I'll get back to you either later today or early next week. I'll leave you with some questions to consider, too:

1. How mature is your student?
2. What are his future goals?
3. What are your local options? Partial high school enrollment? Community college? Tutors?
4. What does he want for his social life? What is available?
5. What are his academic strengths? Weaknesses?
6. What are his character strengths? Weaknesses?
7. What are his passions? What makes him happy?
8. What kind of support do you have?

e,

It has been a busy few weeks. Mt 8th grader is SO not into school and I am very worried I will not be able to get him through high school here at home. I really want to but he just doesn't want to work. He is in creative mode and just wants to do stuff with his hands-build stuff.
I think he is mature then we hit a few months like this where Legos and Bionicles rule.   
His future goals are high. He wants to be a veterinarian. I continue to gently tell him he needs to do academic work, but he doesn't hear.
We do have partial enrollment in high school(but I really don't want to use that option for many reasons), he currently has one tutor for Latin and I am working on a second for math. We can in 11th and 12th do a stint in CC of a few courses. I have found he is much more motivated for his tutor than for me. Now, he does love words and Latin is fun for him, but it really makes me worried I'll never get him through high school at home. I'm nervous enough about making a transcript--if he doesn't do the work, read the book, etc. how can I give him credit?
Social life. Yikes. He has a girl he likes. That is my current worry. He is VERY social and LOVES to be with others(and we have a tiny family of only 2 kiddos). He even said to me the other day, "I'm with you ALL day, mom." Kind of hurt, but I got it. He does sports, 4H(again,very interested in the girls-and they in him ), ski club, and various church activities and homeschool group activities. I think he has enough going on. We live rurally and don't have a neighborhood per se and there is no one around his age--so I have to get him out to these activities.
He is bright and could do just about anything he wanted in life. But he is lazy. And getting lazier. He is a whiz with words and usually loves to read--but I've struggled to find books that will engage him. Lately, he is more interested in listening to music on the radio. He is musically gifted and was taking piano but has fizzled out on that. It was a classical teacher and it isn't cool anymore. He says he dislikes math BUT he has a great brain for it. His teacher, me, probably wasn't the best, hence the tutor who probably has a boatload more enthusiasm than I did. That is where I worry about hs. He motivates better for others.
Character. He is a good kid. but I worry. He can be easily led. He gets mad when I become a parent and stifle his social life-because a lot of other parents here don't care where their kids are or who they are with or what they are doing (I am not talking those from homeschool groups-mostly those in school--and those are the kids he is most attracted to hang with). I think he is probably one who will make some mistakes and then "get it." He is a good friend and has never really been hurt by anyone-darn homeschool kids    He is not very humble-thinks he knows it all, but not in a conceited way like some.
Passions. Not working! Really,if I am not telling him to get to his schoolwork he is the happiest kid on the earth. He smiles and is pretty sweet. Creating stuff with his hands, cars(learning about them, working on them-he has his nose in Motor Trend or some such magazine most of the day), guns(sigh), hunting and his animals. His other passion is being with other kids.
Support for me. None. My dh is working a new job far from home. Long commute. Also, school was his family, discipline, and structure in life, He LOVED it and feels our kids miss out on some stuff. He's pretty supportive of homeschooling, but I can see this through some of his actions and comments. I have no family nearby, I do have some friends but they are crazy busy with their lives, too. I am still trying to get myself together from our move 7(!) years ago. I don't have the support that I had in our previous digs and I struggle SO much. I can find resources for the kids, they are usually a long drive and dd and I are SO tired of being in the car! Latin tutor is a 30 minute drive one way and if this math tutor works it is a 1 hour drive one way. I don't have many resources nearby and that is a huge thing for me. However, it's still less driving than taking him to school each day   
Any other thoughts or suggestions would be appreciated.

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Erin
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Posted: Nov 23 2011 at 1:52pm | IP Logged Quote Erin

mom2mpr wrote:
    Mt 8th grader is SO not into school and I am very worried I will not be able to get him through high school here at home. I really want to but he just doesn't want to work. He is in creative mode and just wants to do stuff with his hands-build stuff.
I think he is mature then we hit a few months like this where Legos and Bionicles rule.   
His future goals are high. He wants to be a veterinarian. I continue to gently tell him he needs to do academic work, but he doesn't hear.


This sort of behaviour is very common here with my 8th grade boys. Our 2nd ds is just winding up his 8th grade and all year I've been telling myself it is just a season and next year will bring a welcome maturity, it did with our 1st son. I'm in the midst of telling ds14 that his year of hiatus is almost over and "get ready". Dh's patience is worn thin. Oh I do so sympathise but, maturity is a wonderous thing

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Erica Sanchez
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Posted: Nov 23 2011 at 3:41pm | IP Logged Quote Erica Sanchez

I would love to talk about this!

We have been enrolled in a public charter school for many years, so my two high schoolers 'report' to our facilitator. I am very involved, but they speak with her about course choices and complete monthly reports and turn in work to her. She is wonderful and I like that my girls have a bit of structure (dealines, etc.) not imposed by me. :)

They only take a biology lab once a month at the school. All else is done at home. They are both very, very involved in worthy activities outside the home. I find it a nice balance. So far, we all love it.

I love that my high schoolers are home!

Hang in there, Anne. Have you read the blog 'Harmony in Art' or 'Harmony Art Mom' or something along those lines? They are very CM-y and she has recently graduated a boy and I think has a boy in high school. It's a wonderful blog, very helpful and encouraging.

Back for more after Thanksgiving......

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lapazfarm
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Posted: Nov 23 2011 at 8:37pm | IP Logged Quote lapazfarm

Everybody freaks out at least a little bit going into high school. I know I sure did. Glad we got over that phase.

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