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Schoolrmacres Forum Pro
Joined: Feb 09 2005 Location: Texas
Online Status: Offline Posts: 153
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Posted: March 06 2006 at 6:47am | IP Logged
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Well as some of you may know from reading my past posts I have been doing FIAR(Five in a Row) with MA(Mater Amabilis) level 1A this year with my 6yo dd(she will be 7next month). I was going to finish out the year with FIAR and MA 1B but I am now leaning towards just finishing the year with FIAR. My dd is special needs(no official diagnosis yet which is another post)we believe Oppositional Defiant Disorder and or some form of autism. At any rate behavioral issues are really wearing me down and we spend more of our school time fighting to get things done. I do not like that and I am feeling that I want to do as little as possible and just focus on our mother daughter relationship. I feel as though our relationship is being destroyed due to this fighting.(I only use fighting for lack of a better term.)I will continue with the religion from MA as dd will be making her 1st communion this year. Does anyone have any advice or suggestions. (I am frustrated because I want to do the right thing but yet I do not know what the right thing to do is.)Should I stick it out the rest of the year and do my best?
Thanks for reading/listening...
__________________ Darlene, wife to Shawn and mamma to Haleigh Elizabeth, our Gift from God through adoption.
Peace be with you
http://achampionfamily.blogspot.com/
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Bookswithtea Forum All-Star
Joined: July 07 2005
Online Status: Offline Posts: 2621
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Posted: March 06 2006 at 7:19am | IP Logged
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Hello,
I don't have any children with developmental issues, but I can tell you that all of my children, at age 6, fought me with traditional subjects. Some of the best research out there suggests that 6 yr olds should have no formal schooling...only lots of laptime, read alouds, cooking and gardening, learning to help mommy with the laundry, playdough, etc.
I think its a great idea. In fact, I am pulling back on phonics and math with my 6 yr old (K) for the rest of this year and continuing on with FIAR. Preserving relationship is paramount, especially at this age.
I don't really know much about the disorders you may be facing, but the first thing I would do is set my child back a level. In the fall, I'd continue with FIAR and start over with 1B level stuff.
For more information on the Better Late than Early concept, I really like Carole Joy Seid's tape set "A Literature Based Apprach to Education" available through the following link:
http://www.soundword.com/seidcarole.html
She's not Catholic, but I didn't hear anything offensive on the tapes, and its easy enough to replace the few protestant books she recommends with something similar.
Blessings,
~Books
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AnaB Forum Pro
Joined: April 12 2005 Location: Florida
Online Status: Offline Posts: 281
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Posted: March 06 2006 at 7:20am | IP Logged
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If Mama is happy, the whole family is happy. We used FIAR for a long time and found this the most enjoyable form of school for that period of time for BOTH me and the children. If this is what your child is more compliant with or enjoys more--go with that. She's still young and you have lots of time. The children will learn more from a happy mom than from the best curriculum with a stressed out mom. It's so easy to follow tangents with FIAR too, which may help you add some of the art/music study of MA, or the other read alouds if you have time.
I'm learning to Keep It Super Simple (KISS) when under stress. The Lord will fill in the gaps. Your relationship wth your child is more important than some of the details of our educational goals. THis may just be a season. Keep praying and looking to the Lord and then proceed with whatever He puts on your heart. Also ask your husband. They can have more insight into what we can truly handle than our friends. Whatever you choose to do, I pray God will bless you with little mercies during the day and with a heart ruled by His peace.
Things have been stressful here (different reasons) so I'm learning all this too!
__________________ His By Grace, AnaB blessed WIFE to Jeff and mama to 4 blessings!
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Karen E. Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 27 2005 Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline Posts: 1161
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Posted: March 06 2006 at 7:35am | IP Logged
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I'm no expert in behavioral issues, but in general, I see nothing wrong with very relaxed learning for an almost-7 year old. There is so much you can do at that age that is fun, relaxed, and full of learning -- all the things Books named are wonderful ideas. I'd just add playing with her, indoors and out!
Also, by going with your instinct to pull back and focus on your relationship rather than on formal learning, you will give yourself some perspective and time to evaluate (and pursue outside evaluation, if that's necessary) exactly what you're dealing with, re. the behaviors.
When time, space and perspective have given you a break and a chance to refocus, then you can decide how to continue next year ....
__________________ God bless,
Karen E.
mom to three on earth, and several souls in God's care
Visit my blog, with its shockingly clever title, "Karen Edmisten."
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lapazfarm Forum All-Star
Joined: July 21 2005 Location: Alaska
Online Status: Offline Posts: 6082
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Posted: March 06 2006 at 9:05am | IP Logged
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I agree that your relationship is key-especially if you have a child with ODD-like behaviors. I feel for you. I have a daughter that was/is borderline ODD. She is 21 now, but when she was little I homeschooled her. I was, of course, much younger and not as experienced then, and I ended up putting her back into school because I just couldn't handle the battles over every single thing I tried to do with her. I wanted to focus on our mother/daughter relationship and basically leave the other battles to someone else! Well, it did make my days a bit easier, but did not end up helping the relationship issues- the battles just began as soon as she got home! In fact, they did not end until dd was about 18 and I finally understood ODD. So,to be clear, I am NOT advocating putting dd in school.I am just saying that the mother/daughter relationship needs to be addressed first and foremost. With ODD especially it will take alot of work, and it won't heal by itself. Backing off on school to focus on it may be the very best thing you can do.
__________________ Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
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Leonie Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 28 2005
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Posted: March 06 2006 at 6:41pm | IP Logged
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Relationship is key - and personally, I think that FIAR is a great curriculum as is. I have had fun with it with my children when younger and we didn't feel the need for supplements.
I hope the rest of the year flows well for you and your family.
__________________ Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
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Erin Forum Moderator
Joined: Feb 23 2005 Location: Australia
Online Status: Offline Posts: 5814
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Posted: March 06 2006 at 11:21pm | IP Logged
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Darelene,
Follow your instinct, it is telling you what to do so often we don't listen enough. I know, I've realised that for myself this year.
Although I don't have children myself with developemental issues I have walked with a very close friend who has six of her ten children with different sorts of issues. You are defintely on the right track here. You can't force children like this at all.
All the best.
__________________ Erin
Faith Filled Days
Seven Little Australians
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