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MichelleW
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| Posted: Oct 20 2009 at 8:41pm | IP Logged
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Hi there,
I am not sure where this belongs, but I have a friend who just took her 5th grade daughter out of school to homeschool her. Her daughter keeps saying that she is bored or "not having any fun."
Has anyone dealt with this kind of thing? It seems like it would be pretty common, but since I have always homeschooled I don't know how to help her. Suggestions? The mom is trying so hard, but it just hasn't "clicked" yet.
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Michelle
Mom to 3 (dd 14, ds 15, and ds 16)
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Angie Mc
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| Posted: Oct 20 2009 at 9:03pm | IP Logged
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Brainstorming...can your friend as her dd to define "fun?" What exactly is the daughter missing? From there, can they make a plan to increase the fun factor? Also, is your friend comfortable with taking time off from "schoolish" activities if that is what is at issue? Can the family find activities to look forward to...to enjoy together?
Michelle, you are a good friend to support this family during a big transition.
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Oct 20 2009 at 9:26pm | IP Logged
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If I was hearing that from my 12 yr old, I'd say what she means is not seeing friends. If that's the case, a homeschool group for new friends and set times she can count on getting to go see other friends would likely help.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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guitarnan
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| Posted: Oct 20 2009 at 9:30pm | IP Logged
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This does sound like a de-schooling issue - perhaps the daughter is missing the daily social interaction she had in traditional school, or hands-on projects, or science experiments...
I agree that mother and daughter should talk honestly and should map out some goals for the school year together. Discovering the freedom and flexibility of homeschooling takes time, I think. Maybe Mom could look at the websites of some nearby museums or manufacturing facilities and find out about tours, homeschool programs, special films/speakers, things like that.
They might also want to consider some hands-on life skills experiences - cooking, gardening, sewing, home repair - either learned together at home or taught at a local craft or fabric shop. I know that I truly treasure the time I spend cooking with my own daughter - it is a great time to pass on family stories, too, since my grandfather owned a seasonings and flavorings business. (This year we are cooking our way through the liturgical year, thanks to the wonderful Catholic Cuisine blog and liturgy planning threads here at 4Real!)
Mom should also remind her daughter about the not-so-fun things she's missing (waiting around, bad food, lining up, being teased - if applicable - longer school days) in a gentle way, so she can see that being at home has definite positive aspects. My son agreed to being homeschooled (same grade, 5) solely because I promised him a year without teasing. He's a senior now...
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Karen T
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| Posted: Oct 22 2009 at 9:10pm | IP Logged
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I've read in several different books, articles, etc that if you take a child out of school he/she will most likely need some time to do nothing for awhile - "deschool" as has been said already. I'm sure it varies by child but I've heard figures as high as a month for every year they've been in school, so a 5th grader might need 5 months of doing nothing formal, before getting down to work. I took my oldest out of ps after 5th grade and did not heed this advice; in fact, we started hs-ing 6th grade in the summer after he finished ps! He seemed as eager as I was to start but we did crash and burn in a few months and had to back off completely for awhile. Sometimes, though, the hs-ing parent feels pressured (by a spouse, grandparent or their own inner voice) to "prove" they can homeschool and load the child up with lots of heavy work right away. (guilty here  ) Face it, what most kids like about "school" is the socialization. Take that away, and home school seems just like regular school - boring.
If I had it to do over, I would do lots of field trips, nature study, cooking as Nancy said, building things, crafts, etc. And group activities.
Karen T
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Shell
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| Posted: Oct 23 2009 at 8:20am | IP Logged
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I think getting out and about, meeting other homeschoolers and spending some time over a hot drink and large slab of cake deciding on what kind of education the child wants and how it is to be done. If she is on her own being homeschooled I think it is all the more important to take part on local groups but also help her keep in touch with friends who she may feel she has left behind (and who may feel a bit abandoned).
I pulled my dd from school when she was 11 and one of her friends in particular took it hard. They are okay now-but it took some careful handling.
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: Friend Needs Advice
