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teachingmyown
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| Posted: Jan 08 2006 at 4:42pm | IP Logged
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As I read through everyone's resolutions, I felt a little overwhelmed to say the least! I know that I shouldn't be comparing myself to others, and I am not really. However, once again, I feel like I am standing at the starting line trying to find direction and the energy to move forward.
I have homeschooled for all but two of the last nine years. You would think that I would have it down by now, or at least a reasonable level of consistency. But every year seems to deliver the unexpected, and even the years that were supposed to be "easy", ie- no newborn, morning sickness, move, etc, still were lacking.
I love the concept of homeschooling. I love having my children with me. But, honestly, I have never "liked" homeschooling. I think the combination of my melancholic temperment, some pretty bad burnout and my ADD tendencies overwhelm me before we really even get started.
With that long-winded intro, I am really looking for encouragement and ideas for starting over, just as if I had just pulled my 4th, 2nd and K'er out of school and hadn't been through the years of discouragement and indecisiveness.
I am re-reading Real Learning, but I feel like a failure when I read about nature study, picture study and such. My children love to read and really would probably open to so much that is beautiful still if I could just pull myself together.
I started this year (school year) with the idea that we would buckle down and do MODG. Then came the pregnancy, the move and the stark realization (again) that I really don't like MODG. I have always been drawn to CM and always found it beyond my grasp. So where to now?
I know this is really rambling. I am hoping someone can dive in here and help me unravel it all in my head.
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In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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Schoolrmacres
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Well, I am not sure how or if I can help. My dd is 6 so it goes without saying that I am still learning myself. All that I can do is give my 2 cents worth and that may be all it is worth.
When I read your post I sense the discouragement. You say how you love having your dc with you and that is great. I think that you can focus on that relationship with them. What I would tell you is to look into FIAR. I think that it would be good for you at this point since you have said that your dc love to read. There is little to no planning and it might even work that all of your children are working on the same thing,with the exception of the 3 r's. Even if you do not keep with this long term I think that in the short term it could be the ticket to rejuvinate you. If you don't want to go that route you could just read living books on the things you are interested in.
I hope this makes sense and as I said I do not know if I am much help.Praying for you,
Darlene
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http://achampionfamily.blogspot.com/
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Leonie
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Molly,
May I suggest that you do just one thing. A resolution to do one thing a day.
One thing of beauty, of fun or joy, for yourself and for your dc.
It sounds simplistic but there is an energy in starting and in a focus.
I am taking my advice for myself,  as we all feel a bit down after the departure of my older sons.
So, our one thing today will be a library visit. Not a regular visit but an exploration - to look in sections we don't normally peruse, to see what unusual books we may find.
Personally, CM is beyond my grasp if I feel I have to do everything. The same with me and resolutions. 
But I can work on one focus or one resolution.
Praying for you!
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Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
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Lissa
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Oh, Molly, I think all of us have been there at one time or another! 
Have you signed up for the Bravewriter Lifestyle emails? Julie Bogart sends out Flylady-style reminders for things like picture study. That might be one way to jumpstart your new year...
For conquering that discouraged or burnt-out feeling, I always think *simple* is the way to go. I'll throw out some suggestions--ignore, custom-tailor, run with, whatever you like! 
First I'd pick a great read-aloud that all three of the kids you mentioned would enjoy. My 5th, 2nd, and K'er are loving THE PENDERWICKS right now, so there's one suggestion. BY THE GREAT HORN SPOON is a really fun read, and Eileen was only 3 when I read it to Kate and Erin and she was able to keep up, more or less. Or maybe something like CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY or THE PHANTOM TOLLBOOTH--something light, funny, and fast-paced.
I'd also arm myself with a stack of good picture books from the library. I'd announce that they were for the K'er's school time, but the big kids could listen in if they liked.
I'd try to get out for a short walk every day, or as often as possible. Again, thinking simply, not a big nature-walk excursion with backpacks and field guides and journals, because I've found that during pregnancy, I tend to be very low-energy and much more inclined to stay home than venture out. As a compromise, I settle for just nice short walks. If we see something natural and exciting, great. If not, no biggie. The walks themselves tend to be times of rich, quiet bonding and conversation, as long as I'm not cranky because I'm hauling a load of Stuff.
I'd find one CD, just one, that I loved and wanted to share with the kids. Beethoven's 6th is a favorite of mine. I'd play it every morning during chores or breakfast until we got tired of hearing it. Then I'd find something new. And I'd mention the name of it every couple of days, but I wouldn't do anything beyond that to "teach" the composer.
I'd pick one artist for the month. Elizabeth just had the great idea to pick a 4Real group artist study, so if you go to the Color & Cacophony forum you'll find the work already done for you there.  Yay, Elizabeth & Amy & all! Again, I'd do this as low-key and simply as possible. Maybe make the four paintings wallpaper on my computer (which is in a central location where we spend a lot of time). Or print them out and hang them on the fridge. Since this month's choice is Manet, maybe I'd slip KATIE MEETS THE IMPRESSIONISTS into the K'er's picture book pile. I'd try to remember to mention Manet's name maybe once a week. "You know, I think this one (pointing) is my favorite Manet painting." That's all, but the connections would be made.
For science, I'd let our bird feeder lead the way. You could sign up for Project Feederwatch for $15 (and they'll send you a great poster of the most common feeder birds) or just keep your own casual record of what birds you spot. A field guide by the right window has been a big draw for my kids. My chart-loving 10yo loves to make lists of what we've seen and what time the woodpecker visits every day. Birdwatching segues nicely into tree identification, which can be casually dropped into conversation on your walks.
Or I'd take a nod from Alice and order that slime mold she's been writing about on her blog! I recently realized that my 2nd grader hasn't done any of the easy kitchen science stuff I did with my oldest at that age...we have a couple of Usborne books that have been hidden on the shelves. That's one thing I intend to do this month: dig those out and let my 5th grader lead the way in setting up those experiments for the other kids.
I'd figure out a good time of day, several days a week, for playing board games together. Or cards, Uno, stuff like that.
I wouldn't stress over history. Instead, I'd scatter good historical fiction in the older child's path. And we'd chat about the books. If a particular book seemed to spark an interest in a certain time or place, I'd strew a few more in that vein. I wouldn't require narrations, either oral or written; instead, we'd just talk about the books the way my husband and I exchange thoughts about the books we're each reading. I find that so many connections are made if I'm just willing to be an eager listener!
If I were concerned about writing skills, I'd borrow ideas from Bravewriter and maybe even sign my older child up for the Arrow (I think that's the right one?), an inexpensive copywork & writing prompts subscription. I did the Redwall one with Kate last year and she's been urging me to sign her up for another.
Or (or maybe "and also")--if either the 2nd or 4th grader enjoyed being on the computer, I'd set them up with email addresses (which only I would have access to, or maybe their grandparents) and let them write me notes. Kids so love getting mail. For a while I was sending Erin weekly spelling words via email. She thought it was the coolest thing ever, and come to think of it, I don't know why we stopped.
This post has grown quite long, but really it's all just variations on a theme. Simple, mellow, low pressure: that's what I find I need when I'm in a slump. I look for ways to make our days flow in an easy rhythm with no fussing (especially from me). Times like right now, when I'm pregnant and also cold all the time (low blood pressure + pregnancy + winter), mostly what I want to do is curl up under a blanket. The great thing is that I can still have a lot of fun with my children while doing that. We can play Settlers of Catan on the coffee table, or Chronology, or Monopoly; and they're learning lots of stuff (me too) while having fun, but none of us notice the learning happening. It's about the warm togetherness. I have to be a realist about my abilities. I WISH I were an intrepid naturalist like MacBeth, or a fabulous baker who served up fresh cookies every teatime, but I'm not. I'm a homebody who likes books. But there's a way to turn any strength, passion, or preference into the foundation of a joyful homeschool. In my home, what I have to offer is a love of poetry and fiction, an enthusiasm for birdwatching, and a passion for deep conversation. Other moms may have different strong points. If I were you, I'd think about what *I* really like to do, how *I* like to spend my time. Knitting? Sewing? Baking? Scrapbooking? Raising houseplants? Gardening? Singing? Drawing? Painting? Reading history? Solving puzzles? Whatever it is, I'd start right there. Anything mom enjoys doing can be the springboard to a multitude of rich learning experiences for the children. The kids might take your passions in directions that surprise you—such as when one of Elizabeth's kids was inspired by the family enthusiasm for the LOTR books & movies to build a model of Helm's Deep. Imagine how much he learned from doing that! I love that Elizabeth gave him the gift of time & materials to allow that natural learning to unfold. 
Or the way our Stevie's hearing impairment led to the immense joys of sign language for our whole family. I have another friend who loves home decorating, and her kids know how to paint a room, make curtains, upholster a chair—quite useful skills I wish I had myself!
I'm going on too long! Enough! I look forward to hearing what suggestions others have.
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Lissa
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teachingmyown
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| Posted: Jan 08 2006 at 7:49pm | IP Logged
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Oh Lissa! Never enough! 
I am printing out your post to mull over the next few days. I do get the Bravewriter emails, but have really been ignoring so much. I will try to pay more attention and implement the things I can.
I think Sydney would enjoy some of the Bravewriter stuff as well.
We were reading The Chronicles of Narnia before Christmas so we could pick that up again.
thank you.
Thank you to Leonie and Darlene too! I do like FIAR, I checked it out from the library a few months ago. It's when I start thinking I have to do it all that I get stressed. Leonie- your idea of one resolution goes well with the Bravewriter emails, so I will focus on that.
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In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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Bridget
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When I don't have two brain cells to rub together my survival/ recovery mode is much like Lissa's. I try to do four things every day.
- read aloud
- copywork from the read aloud
- math text or game
- outside time
Lots of other things often flow from these but the list of to do's for school is simple enough to not feel overwhelming.
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Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
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juliecinci
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Such great posts. I came to advocate the "one thing" principle and Leonie beat me to it!
I have another principle that goes with it. Don't do the next thing until you have done the one thing.
Like this:
Prepare for the thing you want to do
Then do it
Live in the moment forgetting all else while you do it
Reminisce about it
So if you wanted to have tea with the kids while you read a chapter from a book, buy the tea one day. Decide what book you'll read and make sure you have enough clean mugs and a few store bought cookies on hand.
Then the next day, have tea. While having it, turn off the phone and focus on reading, tasting the tea, talking to the kids and enjoying the full experience (don't think about what you will do after or why the dog is itching all the time or which bill you forgot to pay).
Then clean up.
The next day at breakfast, talk about what fun you had at teatime! Ask what they might like to eat next time.
I find that one of the problems with too many good ideas is that while I am living one, I am already feeling bad that I haven't scheduled or done six others. I even find myself planning for art while I'm reading a book or thinking about what a lame musical program my kids have when I'm sharing about poetry.
So if you can let yourself do one thing well and really savor it, you will start to feel that you are doing enough because you will have really done it.
Let us know what you pick to start with!
Julie
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Mary G
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Ladies -- I'm so glad Molly posed this question -- and y'all have such great answers! Lissa, yours has gone to the "copy-and-paste into Word" category as soemthing to remember when I'm feeling overwhelmed or just not up to doing school that day (or week...  ). This would also help me shift to a more unschooling feel to the school day.....
I also love what you said, Julie, about tkaing one thing at a time....I'm often mulling over the next project or unit study instead of enjoying the one we're working on. It's silly really -- homeschooling you have lal the time in the world and can take a day or two off between projects and as Julie said, reminisce!
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my website that combines my schooling, hand-knits work, writing and everything else in one spot!
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Meredith
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Oh, this is SOO what I needed to read today . We were going to *get back into the swing of things after Christmas and Epiphany* today and...well, we've watched two Beatrix Potter videos, folded six oragami butterflies, built marble mosaics, and read about the Baptism of Our Lord. Oh and everyone practised piano too! NOT at all what I had "planned", but fun nonetheless
Molly, I don't think I can improve on any of these great suggestions, nor will I try, but my printer is running out of ink as I print all these great ideas
Thanks for bringing this one up. Saying prayers for renewal.
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Meredith
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mrsgranola
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Ah, I needed to read this, also. With all our building craziness and dh on nightshift, I needed to push my re-start button, too. Today we went to McD's for lunch (walked there) and then over to the park a while. (It's a VERy small town, LOL.) Back home to the drugstore quickly and we've been picking up pecans in the yard. I did need this nice weather today... 65 for our high.
Sometimes we just need a day or two (or two hundred), to stop and count our blessings and smells the roses along the way...
JoAnna
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Elizabeth
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| Posted: Jan 09 2006 at 5:11pm | IP Logged
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teachingmyown wrote:
| I love the concept of homeschooling. I love having my children with me>snip< I think the combination of my melancholic temperment, some pretty bad burnout and my ADD tendencies overwhelm me before we really even get started. |
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Me, too, Molly!
Molly wrote:
| I am re-reading Real Learning, but I feel like a failure when I read about nature study, picture study and such. |
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Me, too Molly! Only difference is the book sounds amazingly like the voice that echoes in my head all day...
Let's repeat this together: Perfection is God's business, ours is just the trying.
And about the trying: We are not supposed to have perfect homes and perfect lessons and perfect curricula. We are supposed to work towards perfecting our attitudes, our demeanor, our interior life as we set about meeting the obligations of our vocation.
The thing about Real Learning is that lays out the entire ideal in neatly edited chapters. When you take all those things together, it's one person's concept of an ideal childhood. But how often in any realm of our lives, does the entire ideal happen? Also, the "Practical Side" chapter and "Battling Back from Burnout" are every bit as important as the chapters in front. Molly, people write at least once a week and ask for the Burnout chapter or where they can buy the Burnout tape. They don't ask me what to do for math (I wonder why ). I once heard someone say that people don't put their kids back in school because they can't find the right algebra book. They but them back in school because they can't make everything--the whole lifestyle--work together.
I think it helps me (because I do have difficulty concentrating) to have a plan. If I were just pulling my 4th, 2nd and Ker out of school but had the benefit of wisdom gained by all these years of false starts and do-overs I'd buy CHC for 4th and 2nd and Kindergarten.CHC isn't strictly CM but it appeals to CMers . I'd commit to just doing the plans as written. Don't get distracted by a million great ideas. Just do the next thing. I'd stockpile picture books according to theme and just commit to reading them to my little ones.Be finished by lunchtime and then...
I'd also buy the Leap Frog videos--let them learn basic letters and numbers while you get a 1/2 hour preggo power nap every single day (and if you can beg or borrow them, the Signing Time videos are time very well spent for all).
After rest, I'd conquer one housekeeping issue that keeps me awake at night.
That's it. I'd do it consistently. But do Nothing More. Then, once the discipline of attention was instilled in me, I'd realize that there is time in the day to add some more great literature to the olders' schedule. I'd flip to the back of Real Learning and start working my way through those lists. Just read, discuss and narrate, nothing more. CHC builds art in (or do the art study on this board and save yourself from buying CHC art this year) and great picture books beg to be studied. What about nature study? Pick one day a month and promise yourself a mountain day. Don't go far; don't make it complicated; just plop yourself down on a blanket and let Mother Nature nurture you.
I really believe that the essence of Real Learning is learning as a family in the situation God gave you. God knows you're pregnant again. He's knows you just moved. He knows Charlie has taken a huge amount of emotional energy. And He knows that Sydney and everyone else is under your care in these circumstances. It's ALL part of His plan. What your children need most from you is your smile. They need to know that you enjoy them, that you love being with them. They need to see the crease disappear from your furrowed brow. They need most to always know that Catholic family life is good life.
I think you want the security of a plan (like MODG) to help you stay focused and relieve some of the stress of feeling responsible for everything but you don't want to be guilted by the plan and you don't want to fail. CHC is more fail-proof than MODG. And I think it's more fail-proof than strict unschooling. CHC's plans are the default. On bad days or weeks or even months, something gets done and it's something of value and you didn't have to research it and plan it (though you do need to know the plan and see that everyone gets to it). And on good days, something even better happens. You dig deeper, do more, get more creative.
FWIW, by some strange happenstance, I have exactly the years you need and I'm not using them at all for the next two months at least. You're welcome to peruse them...
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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Meredith
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Elizabeth, you're right, you don't need a blog, just keep writing here, it's SOOO GOOD. What an uplifting and REAL post, I feel like you were just talking to ME in my living room Thanks for bringing this to light for all of us! Hope you're feeling better Molly, and God Bless your new little blessing
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Meredith
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Leonie
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Leonie wrote:
I am taking my advice for myself, as we all feel a bit down after the departure of my older sons.
So, our one thing today will be a library visit. Not a regular visit but an exploration - to look in sections we don't normally peruse, to see what unusual books we may find.
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I am quoting myself !
But our one thing for yesterday ( the library) was excellent.
It did, however, turn into many things because of medical tests and waiting in several different waiting rooms of medical offices.
The books we found are lifesavers, though. They were read during the waiting period of yesterday.
They are inspliring conversation and simple activities today.
So, the one thing has grown into several little things, each of which fit easily into a week of mum on medical rest.
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Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
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Elizabeth
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Another thought or two:
"The good" seems to distract me from "the better." I have a hard time focuisng when the house is a mess. So, I'll put off this project or that outing until "everything's in order." Well, it's been about twelve years now, and everything is still not in order . The truth is, the house actually stays more orderly when the wee ones are meaningfully engaged. So, if I can step over the mess and get to the books and get them going...things do improve. They migth not all get better in a day or a week, but we do dig out over time. I have to force myself to be limited to that one housekeeping project and then just the necessary upkeep. Real Learning needs to be the priority and I can't delude myself too often by telling myself that cleaning is a valuable life skill . It is, but not to the detriment of the other stuff  .
CHC isn't perfect and it, in itself, is not the solution. The solution is to stop looking for perfect. It's an ADD thing; we are always looking to the next great idea, leaving our lives strewn with abandoned, unfinished ideas that were really quite good. CHC is really infused with Catholicism. I like that. It's good for the kids. But I like it most for me. I can read something to them from one of their books and my whole life is being reinforced. Every choice I make. Every virtue I work on. It's Mom who is is being shored up. And moms of many who are burned out by the effort of baking babies, chasing toddlers, and mentoring teenagers need to hear again and again all the reasons and the ONE real reason we're doing this.
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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Jen L.
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happyheartsmom wrote:
| Elizabeth, you're right, you don't need a blog, just keep writing here, it's SOOO GOOD. What an uplifting and REAL post, I feel like you were just talking to ME in my living room Thanks for bringing this to light for all of us! Hope you're feeling better Molly, and God Bless your new little blessing |
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I couldn't agree more with Meredith.
This thread is excellent, thanks for starting it Molly.
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Jen
dh Klete,ds (8/95),dd (12/97), dd (11/00), and ^2^ in heaven
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Cay Gibson
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Elizabeth wrote:
CHC isn't perfect and it, in itself, is not the solution... It's good for the kids. But I like it most for me. I can read something to them from one of their books and my whole life is being reinforced. |
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I agree. It's very mother-friendly. It's a CM, gentle, relaxed curriculum with the structure and habit formation...minus the guilt. 
One of the things I like about CHC is that you can drop it at any time (like a two month 'unschooling break' due to hurricane evacuation) and you can pick it up wherever you left off without feeling like you're behind schedule.
It's gentle and thorough. It can be heavy enough for "school" labeling or light enough to add your rabbit trails and extra-real learning opportunities. It's always right where you left it.
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Cay Gibson
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guitarnan
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Another vote here for CHC...the lessons are quite short for the younger grades, so my distractible dd can easily complete them. Elizabeth says it perfectly. It's good to know you get something done every day.
Homeschooling is all about trust in God...He'll keep reminding you of your real purpose. He sends me reminders all the time. For example, last week two girls in my daughter's Brownie troop spent their end-of-meeting time putting on makeup (from their backpacks!) so that a certain boy in their class would notice them. They're 8 years old. Thankfully, my daughter still puts on makeup (with my OK) to "be like Mommy" and doesn't think about getting boys to like her. I came home and said to my husband, "God waved the homeschool flag again."
Real Learning. That's why we're all here. Not twaddle. Not perfect. Real. One of the things I really like about homeschooling is that I am (finally!) at home with my family, and we work together to get through the curve balls that military life flings at us. My children see their parents deal with life as it happens. (They don't see everything, of course!) My son, almost 14, feels comfortable talking with both of us about things that bother him. My daughter has freedom to move around as she learns. (I'd bet big money that our local school would want her on meds.) Perfect? Forget it. But, with God's help, learning happens.
Perhaps there's a connection between "melancholic temperament," "ADD tendencies," and homeschooling? I'd certainly describe myself that way. Some days I think I'm truly ADD. Other days I think it's just part of parenthood. At any rate, I'm pretty sure that 90% of the things I begin are left incomplete. (That's why I gave up writing a novel...too long...I KNOW I will never finish a project like that! Quilting is out, too.) I do worry a great deal about helping my son prepare for college and Real Life. It's a big responsibility, and I'm easily discouraged.
That's why I'm so thankful for all of you! I gain so much strength from your insight and support and prayers.
Molly, you're definitely in my prayers. I'm glad you started this thread. I always feel less alone when I read posts like yours. I'm not the only one struggling, and I'm not the only one trying to connect with "kindred spirits," as Anne of Green Gables would say!
Thanks, everyone.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Rachel May
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| Posted: Jan 10 2006 at 12:56pm | IP Logged
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teachingmyown wrote:
| However, once again, I feel like I am standing at the starting line trying to find direction and the energy to move forward. |
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I thought of this post yesterday when I realized that after "perfecting" our school schedule this fall, the current baby is ready to drop her morning nap. That complicates our 1 hour of table time, and with the newest one moving into his 3rd trimester, I'm wondering where I'll find the energy to finish the year.
I'm finding the notes on CHC interesting. We use MODG for core subjects and unschool the other things that the state requires me to teach. I've found MODG very easy and flexible, but CHC struck me as overly Catholic and confusing when I looked at it last year. Because I've watched a bunch of beautiful homeschooled Catholic teenagers burn out on their faith as a result of it being constant and overt, I've been cautious about how I present it to my kids especially through the curriculum. I try to make our faith an implicit part of everything, but explicit when it really matters. For example, for math, we don't count rosaries. Your comments here make me curious to look at CHC again.
Sorry, this is going OT. Maybe I should start a different thread.
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Rachel
Thomas and Anthony (10), Maria (8), Charles (6), Cecilia (5), James (3), and Joseph (1)
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Elizabeth
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Rachel,
I think you have made some great observations. I do think you should start another thread. Those are concerns I had, too, and part of why I resisted CHC for so long.
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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teachingmyown
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juliecinci wrote:
"So if you wanted to have tea with the kids while you read a chapter from a book, buy the tea one day. Decide what book you'll read and make sure you have enough clean mugs and a few store bought cookies on hand.
Then the next day, have tea. While having it, turn off the phone and focus on reading, tasting the tea, talking to the kids and enjoying the full experience (don't think about what you will do after or why the dog is itching all the time or which bill you forgot to pay).
Then clean up.
The next day at breakfast, talk about what fun you had at teatime! Ask what they might like to eat next time." |
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Julie,
I love this post! It is so comforting to me. I really thought there was something wrong with me that something as simple as teatime could overwhelm me and get pushed off so often. Your description of how to approach it gives me hope. I tend to want to do it all and make it perfect and skimp on the planning and also the living in the moment.
Thank you.
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In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: Starting over
