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Michaela
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| Posted: Nov 11 2008 at 11:20am | IP Logged
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I need help.
My twins are in third grade. Olivia is working grade level or higher, but Nathan, oh my Nathan...he is struggling mightily.
Spelling...Olivia has never missed more than one out of 15. Nathan is doing well to get between 5-7 correct out of 15. His last spelling test confirmed that I need to stop the mindset that Olivia is just smarter so he will always miss more than her, but do something else specifically with him. He got 3 out of 15 correct. OBVIOUSLY, I have to stop because as we progress the words become harder.
What do I do?????? Continue on with Olivia, but work the weeks over with Nathan?
I really really want to try a different method, but dumping everything that is working fine for Olivia is my hurdle. I'm mentally telling myself we homeschool so this doesn't happen! I can tailor everything to the individual needs of each child. Why is it so hard to take that next step to change up????
I think Spelling Workout would suit Nathan better. or just put him in a different book than his sister so the comparisons will stop.
He needs extra help, and it's frustrating me that I don't know how to balance that with schedule..completing workbooks..his twin sister...keeping him at grade level (which, really he isn't).
Just tell me it's ok to dump the workbook for him.   I don't know why it's soooo hard to not complete a book, but what's the point? He shouldn't continue.
Please let share your thoughts. Kick me in the behind. LOL I know what needs to be done, but feel stuck.
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Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
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mavmama
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| Posted: Nov 11 2008 at 11:43am | IP Logged
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Michaela,
I understand your feelings. Our twins are not at the same point academically, but the competition and comparing is so great (both with them and myself). Last year, we just ditched teh workbook, and did something else. Talked a lot oabout how things were spelled on signs, etc. This year, we are finishing the book with ease. I know one of them could have gone on, but the other would have felt awful about it, so that was our solution. your mileage may vary  Mostly, I try to do what is best for each. I know this is hard, and hope some other multiple moms will chime in.
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Liz
Blessed by 4 wonders
dd11, dd911, ds9, ds8
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Mare
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| Posted: Nov 11 2008 at 12:28pm | IP Logged
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Michaela,
I understand to a degree too. I have triplets.  This is my toughest year to date. I don't have much time to be online anymore. It takes me most of the day to do school because I am trying to balance the amount of time each of my five children gets with me.
One dd has to work harder at spelling than her other two sisters. I end up studying with her each day and so does her older sister. She doesn't like the fact that she has to spend more time studying the words than her sisters. On the other hand, she is gifted with lovely handwriting. Her sisters are not. They have to practice harder on that which doesn't make them happy.
Since girls tend to whine about things, I tell my girls that life is hard, life is difficult and life is not easy. With perserverence, they will get through it. I don't know what I'd do if I had a boy.
Praying for peace and wisdom for you as you make a decision,
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hopalenik
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| Posted: Nov 11 2008 at 12:36pm | IP Logged
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Hi,
We have the same problem. In reading my twins are about the same-a tiny bit behind the average 2nd grader. In handwriting and spelling they are also equal but one is doing second grade math-pretty easily and my son is doing grade 1 math. I gave up last year attempting to keep them together. I didn't talk about it but of course he has noticed and so has she. Keep the one twin doing the program she is doing and do something different with your son. Twins are hard.
HOlly
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Holly
Mom to dd 10, twins dd and ds (transplant as baby that failed 05/09, permanent dialysis patient) 8 , dd 5 and dd 3 1/2 and dd in Feb 2009. 2 I hope to meet in heaven.
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Tonya
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| Posted: Nov 11 2008 at 2:52pm | IP Logged
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My boy twins are in fourth grade and I have the same problem. One is definitely ahead of the other. It is hard to put them in different programs but if they are in the same one, the slower twin gets too frustrated. I think that I have held my one twin back too much waiting for the other one to catch up. They are my 5th and 6th children to homeschool and I can't believe how difficult it is! Even without workbooks, I have to spend so much more time with the one twin, and he still is behind.
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cvbmom
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I don't have twins, but I do try to keep my children together in their work whenever possible. Once, when one fell behind in spelling, I got a totally new program for the struggling one (All About Spelling) and made it special for just him. That way, he didn't feel behind because the programs were very different; there was nothing to compare. Both children worked on their own program in their own way. Now dd uses the program ds started, and he (though a book behind her) feels like she likes his books so much she wanted to do it too. I try quite hard to not discourage anyone while at the same time, not holding anyone back. It's a VERY tough balance, isn't it ?
Maybe that helps,
Christine
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Shari in NY
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| Posted: Nov 12 2008 at 7:49am | IP Logged
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Michaela,
I have a little hope to offer you! I have struggled for years trying to keep my twin boys together in spelling. It didn't work. I think spelling is a gift. Spellers are born, not made . Of my six kids, four are natural spellers and two are not.(Taking after their mother) After years of trying every program imaginable and making some of my own, I threw in the towel and bought some Seton Spelling workbooks. I started the twins both with the seventh grade book and my nine year old with the fourth. After two weeks it was painfully obvious that Adam was not keeping up and the fourth grader was struggling too. I gave the fourth grade book to Adam, bought a third grade book for Ken. The up shot is that while Adam and Ken are still not stellar spellers they are starting to get it. And most amazingly, after nine weeks all three boys stated that spelling is their favorite subject! I don't really understand it but I'm grateful . I think a lot of it is age. At twelve the twins finally have an interest in getting things done rigth instead of just done so they can go wack each other with stick swords. This definately developes later in boys than girls! Good luck!
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kristina
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| Posted: Nov 12 2008 at 9:05am | IP Logged
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Michaela,
Shari in NY wrote:
| I think spelling is a gift. Spellers are born, not made |
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I completely agree!
I don't have twins, but my 9 1/2 year old does much of his work at the same level as his 11 year old brother. Spelling was a challenge here for a while as spelling does not come naturally for our eldest son, but it certainly does for our second born. The competition has caused hurt feelings and gave us opportunities to address charity, humility and accepting that each one of us has different strengths and gifts.
I am not familiar with the program you are using, but I can tell you what has worked here. Our solution was to use two completely different programs. Our eldest is thriving with the Phonetic Zoo. Using an audio program was just what he needed. Also, the program is used rather independently which also works very well for this child, especially helping his confidence. It is remarkable the progress he has made.
I don't think it matters which program we use with our second son. He learns visually. If he sees it in print, he can spell it. It is just the way his brain works. We use the CHC Spelling books because I like the way our faith is woven through the lessons.
Michaela, I'm sure that you will discover the solution that works for your children.
Blessings!
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kristina
yesterthoughts
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Michaela
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| Posted: Nov 12 2008 at 2:25pm | IP Logged
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Thank you so much! Even though I knew we couldn't continue and I had to change, it was helpful to read your experiences and the reassurance that it's ok to do this.
Today was the first day in a very long time that spelling and handwriting ended with a hug and a kiss!
I plan to purchase a different program for Nathan. That should stop any comparisons and help focus on his individual needs.
We are all much happier today. 
God Bless!
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Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: Spelling/Schooling with Twins
