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Connections
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| Posted: Nov 04 2008 at 2:33pm | IP Logged
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I am guessing many of you are like me- inclined to think about homeschooling methods, how-to's, how others are homeschooling etc. In fact, it's one of the purposes of these boards, right?
Well, I have recently discovered that when I think too much about "how-to's", methods, etc., I find that I become less satisfied with the things we are doing. I am talking about the times when things ARE working. When there IS a lot of learning going on and things are going WELL. Ugh.
I am wondering if this is somehow a manifestation of a lack of appreciation for the blessings that we have. Is this merely another (perhaps more acceptable) form of wanting more? I never thought of it before, but is it possible to want too much when it comes to our homeschools? Or SHOULD we keep striving to add more, do more, challenge more, include more?
I would love to hear your thoughts.
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Blessings,
Tracey
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saigemom
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I don't know, but I struggle with that here too.
I think it all depends. If I am unhappy with what we are using and THEN I look for something else it usually is a good thing.
Sometimes when I am just poking around and find something cool...it just ends up making me look into more things instead of actually doing things with my kids....
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teachingmyown
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| Posted: Nov 04 2008 at 3:16pm | IP Logged
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Here's what I think:
I think that as challenging and rewarding as this role of homeschool mom is, I think it also has the effect of becoming too routine. Even when things are going well, we desire something "shiny and new" as my dh likes to say, something to perk things up or distract us. Whats more fun than finding a new blog full of craft ideas or a box from Amazon!
For me, this goes beyond schooling. I find I am rarely at a loss for things to "need", a new sling, a better laundry soap, a different exercise video, new main lesson books or beeswax crayons, etc. Rarely is it anything extravagent or frivolous, but always something which at the moment is THE thing that will finally make my life run more smoothly. Until the next thing...
We discussed internet shopping a while back here and one conclusion we came to was this: In a life that is the same things over and over, work that is never done (laundry, dishes, diapers) there is something satisfying about researching that perfect ___, and pressing the buy now button. It is an accomplishment! You can check it off your list and it won't be back tomorrow!
I think it all comes down to balance and prayer. Our hearts (and minds!) are restless until we rest in the Lord. 
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In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
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LLMom
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I think a lot of this comes from reading too much stuff online. I get this way and I have to step back and not read but just be. Very hard to do at times because I know there is so much good stuff out there. But we can't just read about all of this great stuff (and/or own it), we have to really live it with our dc.
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Lisa
For veteran & former homeschool moms
homeschooling ideas
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Willa
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| Posted: Nov 04 2008 at 7:39pm | IP Logged
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Connections wrote:
I am wondering if this is somehow a manifestation of a lack of appreciation for the blessings that we have. Is this merely another (perhaps more acceptable) form of wanting more? I never thought of it before, but is it possible to want too much when it comes to our homeschools? Or SHOULD we keep striving to add more, do more, challenge more, include more?
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I think it sometimes comes down to that for me... I have a craving for something to be solved or for myself or my homeschool to be different somehow, so I look for outside solutions. It's a kind of hunger similar to shopping addiction, even when it's just hunting for free resources on the internet, or browsing through blogs.
I think challenging ourselves is good but the kind of hunger I sometimes feel is different from "challenge". It's kind of looking for a quick fix, you know, instead of digging into our own situation for a REAL solution.
I admit the difference isn't always clear, but I can usually "feel" the difference emotionally -- craving makes me miserable and inadequate while accepting a challenge feels healthier -- like rolling up your sleeves to scrub the floor, or something.
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AMDG
Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
Take Up and Read
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helene
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I think its important to hang onto the things that have withstood the test of time in your family and really work. Just because someone else is all excited about some new spelling program doesn't mean you should ditch your spelling books which, though older and maybe not so colorful, are comfortingly predictable to you and turn out great spellers. Trust yourself! If it works you probably made the best decision!
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Happy Mom to five girls (20,17,13,11and 4) and five boys (19, 15, 10, 8 and 6)
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Shari in NY
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Here is what happens at our house: I gather school supplies in the spring, when September rolls around we start "school". Slowly extra things start to creep in. If Latina Christiana is working then wouldn't it be better to add Minimus for fun? And CHC has a great new program that looks like it would fit right in...If The Story of the World is a great spine it shouldn't be too much trouble to add that more orthodox book from Seton and besides it has more American history... Well you get the idea. Come February we are tired of the whole thing and toss it all for days of just math and reading literature.(One February I actually enrolled my girls in public school. That lasted a year and a half  )So,after all these years, I try to stay simple, if it works keep it and don't add more. If you are still tempted, I agree with Willa--scrub floors  !
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Connections
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| Posted: Nov 05 2008 at 11:14am | IP Logged
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Thank you all for your excellent and helpful responses.
I am pondering a related question in another post entitled Excellence and contentment. I would love to hear your responses to that as well.
I probably could have simply added my question here.
I think your responses here are telling me that there is a difference we need to discern within ourselves and Shari in NY seems to answer my question by suggesting we don't have to add more?
Any other thoughts?
_______________
Blessings,
Tracey
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Sarah M
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| Posted: Nov 05 2008 at 11:38am | IP Logged
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LLMom wrote:
| I think a lot of this comes from reading too much stuff online. I get this way and I have to step back and not read but just be. Very hard to do at times because I know there is so much good stuff out there. But we can't just read about all of this great stuff (and/or own it), we have to really live it with our dc. |
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This nailed it on the head for me. As Sister Wendy Beckett says in Sister Wendy on Prayer, "It is so much easier to talk about things than to do them."
Here's another one (from Thomas a Kempis in The Imitation of Christ): "We should enjoy much peace if we did not concern ourselves with what others say and do, for these are no concern of ours. How can one who meddles in the affairs not his own, who seeks strange distractions, and who is little or seldom inwardly recollected, live long in peace?"
Even when things are going very well in our own little homeschool, I'm constantly flitting here and there on the internet, reading about everyone else's homeschooling experience, wondering if I should add in this or that, or tweak things to make them "even better." But what I find is that I am never living in the present moment, appreciating the graces God is giving me and our family right now. I want ideas constantly spinning around in my head (and then, of course, I end up buying more curriculum to support all of these ideas), and I rarely still myself long enough to listen to God's voice, to be content with what we have. In my heart of hearts, I know that it really doesn't take much (in the way of material goods) to homeschool- but try to convince me of that when I'm dinking around on 30 blogs and homeschool product reviews!!!
I know that the answer for me is less time online. More time face to face with my children. Less time looking at curriclum catalogs and more time using the actual curriculum I already bought.
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AnaB
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Ditto to what so many others have said. Time online directly affects my contentment (of lack of). The more I know about what others are doing, the more I question myself. The more time I spend reading blogs and boards, to less time and energy I'm spending on making our homeschool something enjoyable for all of us.
The lure of the internet hooks me for several reasons: habit (it's become a habit to go online certain times of the day), boredom, avoiding work or escaping (it's much easier to read about homeschooling or housekeeping than actually doing it), and loneliness.
Elizabeth Foss had an INCREDIBLE few posts on internet use and guidelines that really ministered to me.
Just today, a friend emailed me about her daughter who is the exact age of my daughter. Her daughter really wants to be a missionary so is devouring biographies. She's also very skilled in piano and is teaching her brother piano. She's also reading a book on the sanctity of life and is going to be volunteering with her mom at a pregnancy center.
These are all my goals for my daughter, but mine is just not there yet. Mine has never voiced a desire to be a missionary though she loves reading their biographies. Mine doesn't even know all the details about the birds and the bees (it's coming). They are totally different personalities. I would hurt my dd's heart if I tried to hold her to what her friend is doing.
After reading that email, I started to feel discouraged. But instead of looking at goals, at what other people are doing, I need to spend my time and energy studying my daughter and seeking the Lord for her.
Someone once posted about studying our children more than studying books about children. But that is so true. If I would spend the same amount of time studying our family, our likes and strengths and weaknesses, as I do reading online, we'd have a much better home! But it goes against our flesh. It's the easy road which is so easy to justify because it appears godly.
I could have written Sarah's post, it's what's on my heart too. Lots of gleaning here! Just wanted to let you know I'm in the same boat.
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His By Grace, AnaB blessed WIFE to Jeff and mama to 4 blessings!
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Sarah M
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AnaB wrote:
Someone once posted about studying our children more than studying books about children. But that is so true. If I would spend the same amount of time studying our family, our likes and strengths and weaknesses, as I do reading online, we'd have a much better home! But it goes against our flesh. It's the easy road which is so easy to justify because it appears godly.
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Wow. That is so, so true for me.
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AnaB
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Something forgot to add. It's really not enough to just study our kids, we really need the Lord's guidance. We can so easily deceive ourselves. Also, there are times, if you're anything like me, where nothing we do seems to work and you can't see the forest for the trees.
I go through times where I'm reading alot of parenting books, "how to" books, reading alot of blogs looking for something, etc... and then times where I JUST read my Bible and make sure I'm hearing His voice. Those are the times I know I need to quiet all the many "voices" I've allowed or welcomed into my heart. Seasons of solitude, in a sense.
I just read in Proverbs today, "keep your heart in all diligence". The commentary I read said to "guard our heart from doing or receiving harm, from being defiled by sin and disturbed by trouble, keep out bad thoughts, and keep in good thoughts, keep the affections on right objects and in due bounds, keep our hearts by care, by strength, by calling in help...out of the heart well kept will flow living springs, good fruit, to God's glory and the edification of others."
I hope I haven't strayed too much from the original question. This has been a very timely discussion for me.
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His By Grace, AnaB blessed WIFE to Jeff and mama to 4 blessings!
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ALmom
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Aaah, sometimes it is the weakness of my perfectionism rearing its ugly head. If my children don't "get" something instantly, I start worrying that there has got to be a better way. My husband has to keep me steady to give something enough time 'cause sometimes it is simply that it takes time and a little effort.
Other times, I find that something really isn't working and then I try to be prudent before I jump - and ask a lot of questions. I have found that spending more time asking and reflecting before jumping solves a lot of the I need to try the newest thing syndrome.
Oh and the other time of temptation was right after years and years of no resources for Catholics and all of a sudden these different Catholic suppliers had offerings - and I had to try them all  . Of course some of that was that nothing was working - truly it was not - and it was due to eye problems and not curriculum or teacher problems but it took me a while to figure out.
Janet
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: Thinking too much
