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doris
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| Posted: July 04 2008 at 5:32pm | IP Logged
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I feel as if I'm pulled in opposite directions. In everything!
One day I think to myself, 'We're doing formal stuff too early. We should unschool!'
The next day I fret, 'Ds would be at the end of his second year in school now. He's barely reading and writing. I need to do more! He's behind! I'm letting him down!'
One day I think, 'The dc don't do enough sports! I need to enrol them in more classes!'
The next, it's, 'Don't overschedule! Plenty of time for that later!'
As another example, for a few months I might be on a major skirts-only mission. Then I just give in and break out the jeans.
Or I talk to my anti-vaccination friends and see their concerns about vaccinations. Then I talk to dh and see the exact opposite.
Or I think about the possibility of more dc with glee, then (after a sick day, or a rough night) can't believe I ever thought that I could cope with more...
Am I going bonkers? Or do others ever suffer from this sort of paralysis? What's the solution?
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Home educating in London, UK with dd (2000) ds (2002), dd (2004), ds (2008) and dd (2011).
Frabjous Days
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LLMom
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| Posted: July 04 2008 at 10:58pm | IP Logged
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Elizabeth,
You're not going bonkers, it just sounds like you have a case of information overload. I have had this happen to me and it caused a bit of confusion and hurt for me, but I think I am doing better with it. The web makes so much info available and so much of it sounds good, but we must discern what God is calling each of us to do and not do something just because someone else says so. Pray and consult church teachings.
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Lisa
For veteran & former homeschool moms
homeschooling ideas
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BrendaPeter
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| Posted: July 05 2008 at 5:14am | IP Logged
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Always pray. Know that God's plan is the best and intricately designed for your particular family.
It's interesting to read about all the "methods" but sometimes God wants us to mortify our curiosities in this area and trust that He knows best. Sometimes that means even staying away from things like these boards. Keep in mind that the most common sin for (most) women is curiosity (look to Eve) and that the more we mortify it, the more we allow God to work in our lives.
Also, put great faith in the opinion of your dh. Because of your sacramental bond, God speaks to you through him.
Try to live a sacramental life, as much as possible. When you're going through these difficulties times, ask friends to pray for you. Never underestimate the power of prayer!
Remember that Satan likes chaos & confusion. Listening to "chatter" (see Lisa's link above) will cause that. It's fine to hear what others have to say but strive to have a sense of what's right for your family by bringing these concerns to Our Lady. Sometimes you may have to just shut your ears and go to a quiet place to pray and reflect.
When your children hit the turbulent years of adolescence, the best thing for them will be to have a mom and dad who are "rock solid" both together & separately. They will look for every little doubt and take advantage of it.
Keep in mind that the early years are for forming the child in habits & virtues vs. focusing on academics. It is MUCH easier to "pay" now rather than later. This does take a considerable amount of time, but it is time well spent. (I use the "Treasure Box" books from Tan as a starting point with my little ones). Have faith that the children will learn their lessons when the time is right.
I'll be keeping you in my prayers, Elizabeth!
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Blessings,
Brenda (mom to 6)
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Bookswithtea
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| Posted: July 05 2008 at 6:42am | IP Logged
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I remember feeling this way when my oldest was the same age as your oldest. Then I got it again when I was trying to learn about hsing through high school.  Brenda's got it spot on. Pull back and listen to God and trust the leading of your dh. Information overload is not fun, but its not a hard fix.
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Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and  due 9/10
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Connections
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| Posted: July 05 2008 at 10:41am | IP Logged
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I recently posted about researching and revisiting my plans even after my planning is done. I believe it is related to what you describe here. So yes, I also find myself uncertain and questioning.
I had pondered in my other post if it was because I was avoiding the execution of the plans. But, after reading the responses here I think (for me) it is actually a lack of prayer and faith in God and His plans for MY family. It is, to some extent, an attempt to control things (for me). A desire to provide the best for my children, yes. A fear that if I make the wrong academic choices now (they are 6 and 7) it will impact (negatively) their futures. And, (I blush to admit) a desire to keep up with the "Jones'" of the HSing world.
I so appreciate the wisdom of the responses to this post (and throughout this forum).
Which reminds me of another post I read about discerning our will versus God's will. I need to find that one and reread it.
I did write up guiding principles for our home and our educational path and I do find those help me when I am floundering/questioning. Back to those guiding principles I go.
Blessings,
Tracey
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12stars
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| Posted: July 05 2008 at 1:12pm | IP Logged
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Doris, I feel the same way I feel like I do get info overload and I have to sit back and really pray about it. I started a novena and I will continue with them for as long as I can.
I just really started on my journey of choosing curriculum so it is the most exciting and daunting feeling I have ever had the choices are limitless.
But thank you all for your words of wisdom even though it is directed to Doris, it also is valuable for others
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Claudia in Southern California
Wife to George,
Mom to DD 14, DD 10, DD 7, DS 4, DS 2, 1 in heaven, and now due 5/11.
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Kristie 4
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| Posted: July 05 2008 at 5:40pm | IP Logged
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I do the bouncing around thing a fair bit too. However, over the years and as my children have grown, I find that more and more we see what works and how each one of them functions best.
Lots of great advice here...
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Kristie in Canada
Mom to 3 boys and one spunky princess!!
A Walk in the Woods
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Topic: Being pulled in opposite directions...
