Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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High School Years and Beyond
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Bookswithtea
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Posted: Feb 27 2008 at 6:37am | IP Logged Quote Bookswithtea

I was just wondering how many of you use net nany type software? If so, are you happy with it? And what kind of rules do you have for your older children using the internet? I know from personal experience that an innocuous search can bring up some *weird* stuff.

My high schooler really hasn't used the internet much up to this point. He doesn't game at all and he's not into computers, either, so it hasn't been something he's been asking for, which was fine with me. He does want to start using the net more for tab (he plays guitar), and dh says that some tab sites have ads/pictures that are for ummmm...provocative sites. I am concerned because boys are just so visually oriented and it only takes once to plague a person. :(

I need some good advice on how to navigate this whole thing with boys. Help?

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cathhomeschool
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Posted: Feb 27 2008 at 10:39am | IP Logged Quote cathhomeschool

Looking forward to replies, as we will be dealing with the internet shortly too. My oldest is only in 8th grade, but I figure that research related searches will be necessary come high school.

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Leonie
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Posted: Feb 27 2008 at 4:16pm | IP Logged Quote Leonie

One way we deal with this is by having all the computers in full view in the living areas - it just helps cos adults are around when kids are surfing the net and we can pick up on things.

We do have a net nanny thing but it doesn't pick up everything. We talk a lot about these issues and then just leave it to discernment and prayer, especially as they get older.

I do think there has to be a reason for using the net, esp for my 12 year old son - not just surfing and clicking on links in an ad hoc fashion.

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Leonie in Sydney
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KellyJ
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Posted: March 04 2008 at 7:21am | IP Logged Quote KellyJ

We use something called System Surveillance Pro (SSPro). It logs keys strokes, has filters (you can add your own terms too), sends you emails immediately when a "banned" site has been accessed by the user (with screenshots attached to the email), closes webpages immediately that should not have been accessed (no notification to the user why the window automatically shutdown). It is a stealth program that is very difficult for the user to detect, find, and remove. I think you need a password to remove the program. You can even rename the program nearly any other name to make it even more difficult to detect.

That said, I will add that I think there are some spyware/adware type of programs that can detect this sort of program--just an FYI.

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Bookswithtea
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Posted: March 04 2008 at 7:41am | IP Logged Quote Bookswithtea

Thank you both for the suggestions. I am not anticipating any problems, but then I have 3 hs mom friends with good kids who weren't anticipating problems either and found out too late. :( I have a love/hate relationship with the net...so useful as a tool, but also invites so so much unwelcome garbage into the home, too.

Our computer is not in the most central location (basement family room), and I'm not sure we can move it...will have to talk with dh about that.

Leonie, what kinds of things do you talk about with your young adults? This is new territory for us and we haven't talked much about it beyond "it can be dangerous".

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Leonie
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Posted: March 04 2008 at 3:55pm | IP Logged Quote Leonie

We have tried to talk about internet safety issues, not being too specific when younger - a bit like a 'stranger danger' talk. That some things on the net are good and others are "inappropriate" - our family code word for unsuitable areas/movies/books/etc. For example ~ If you find an inappropriate site or picture, leave the site immediately. Talk to mum or dad. ( My kids, over the years, have a good idea of what I mean by inappropriate.)

That kind of thing.

I find I can be more explicit as the child gets older.

Articles like the ones below have been helpful for me in formulating my ideas and helping me with such discussions ~

safe teens

safe surfing guide

I also find this is an area where you just have to live and walk around - try a few things, make a few rules, discuss, take a step backward, relax a bit here, reign it in a bit there...A bit like the whole parenting teens lifestyle, I find.

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Leonie in Sydney
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