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wamegomom
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| Posted: Dec 10 2007 at 5:31pm | IP Logged
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I'm so frustrated. My 16 y.o. dd, adopted at age 7 from China, was homeschooled up to 7th grade, when (as part of her Reactive Attachment Disorder) she told us that she refused to do anything more for us and that we had to put her in school. She was so disruptive with the littles that we decided to do it. She admits that for 7th and 8th grades she learned nothing new except some computer skills. She has all A's and B's so far for semester grades in 10th grade, but I've agonized over her writing skills the most. The teacher told me that my standards are way too high, although I have begged for remedial writing for her. She consistently has "A's" in English, though her spelling, grammar and sentence structure are not good (this is the child who would draw eyeballs on her paper for hours just daring me to be able to show her anything!).
She just brought home her PSAT sophomore scores. I know she will take this again next year, but for a kid with such "great" grades, her selection index score was 130, and compared to college-bound juniors her percentile score is 37. She says she wants to be a youth minister or a food salesman (go figure!). I just want to cry.
The curriculum is so dumbed down it is pathetic. I went to a small rural high school in Vermont and the papers she gets "A's" on would have gotten C's or D's there.
It's not just English or history, it is math and science as well. Last year she got a "D" on her algebra 1st semester final, and an "A" on the second semester final. What was the difference, you ask? She forgot her "toolkit" for the first exam. She showed it to me--it is a cheat sheet from the teacher with all the equations and rules on it!
I grieve over this child every day. She is not too much more attached to us than she was before therapy (our attachment therapist left and no one around here does attachment therapy anymore) and now I fear for her future. She is bright but there are so many glitches that her dad and I see in her thought process, and she would rather fight with us and/or siblings than homeschool. One morning last week she was up watching the tv in the family room while we dressed before taking her to school. She watched a weather report scroll across the bottom of the screen for 15 solid minutes and thought it was school closings because of some ice we had during the night. She was honestly unsure if she had school that day. But ask her teachers and they think she'll graduate in the top 10-15 percent of her class. It makes dh and me sick with worry.
Sorry this is rambling--I'm just pretty upset. Does anyone have an encouraging increase in PSAT scores to share from sophomore to junior year? Does anyone have any thoughts about what we can do, because the school thinks everything is just fine, but we see a problem. If anyone is familiar with the research of Dr. Boris Gindis on language acquisition in international adoptees, he says it takes 5-7 years here to begin to be comfortable in academic language. Susie has been here 9 years. I just have a vague sense that there is a very subtle language issue here, but I think school doesn't have time to address it so they deny its existence.
I grieve so often that she doesn't homeschool. I don't know exactly where the glitch is, but I often think that the one-on-one would surely make some things better. Then I remember her rages, know it wouldn't work, and cry.
Any advice or encouragement?
Mary Alice in Kansas, hoping that the ice storm coming this way won't knock out our power.
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Chari
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| Posted: Dec 11 2007 at 1:42am | IP Logged
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Mary Alice.......we have been praying for you and your girl! I am sorry things are still so hard. 
I do not have any PSAT experience.......or any RAD experience......but, lots of prayers we have!
Please give hugs to your family!
__________________
Chari...Take Up & Read
Dh Marty 27yrs...3 lovely maidens: Anne 24, Sarah 20 & Maddelyn 17 and 3 chivalrous sons: Matthew 22, Garrett 16 & Malachy 11
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mariB
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| Posted: Dec 11 2007 at 5:44am | IP Logged
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Yes, praying for you also. My oldest is sophomore and he hasn't taken the PSAT yet. Wish I had advice for you but sending hugs and prayers your way.
__________________
marib-Mother to 22ds,21ds,18ds,15dd,11dd and wife to an amazing man for 23 years
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mom2mpr
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| Posted: Dec 11 2007 at 6:46am | IP Logged
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I don't know much about RAD or adoption issues but could she just not test well? I took SAT's 5 times trying to improve my score! I did OK in life even though I never got what I "wanted" score-wise. I went to college, had a career(that is a whole 'nother story-career ended up being not what I went to college for  ), got my masters degree(and walked down the aisle to get the diploma with ds who was 5 months old in my arms--never used said masters). Life takes many different twists and turns.
Also, I also see the dumbing down in the schools. Papers we would have gotten lower grades on coming back with a's and b's. Also, the system. I have a dear friend who spends 2-4 hours each night(and has for years)helping her dd with homework. The kid has no social life or other outside activities. They are going to pay for testing for LD's with this child because the school will not because she is on grade level(barely). What this poor family is going through is not a care for the school. They don't care--the kid is grade level. Mom refuses to let her dd fail so she can be tested. So, so sad!! Mom also refuses to homeschool though. I told her she could spend the same amount of time during the day homeschooling and dd could do scouts or a sport in the afternoon.
Sorry about my rambling. I hope some of this might help you feel less alone and worried?
There is success in life without test scores. I am sure I am traveling down the same road with ds when we get to high school age. He doesn't test well now in elementary school. Have faith. Hang in there.
Anne
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Angie Mc
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| Posted: Dec 11 2007 at 10:47am | IP Logged
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How frustrating, Mary Alice. I'm praying. My dd is a sophmore, so I don't know about pulling P/SAT scores up...yet:), but these are recommendations that I have heard:
Frequent collegeboard.com.
Do Boot Camp for Your Brain.
Practice test often.
Consider taking the ACT as well.
In the big scheme of life and salvation, these tests pale in significance to what the world would have us believe. You all are doing well under difficult circumstances. I give you a big pat on the back and  .
Love,
__________________
Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
About Me
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hylabrook1
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| Posted: Dec 11 2007 at 2:31pm | IP Logged
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My son was able to take practice PSATs under what would be typical testing conditions. They were scored by CEEB. Our umbrella coordinator arranged this, so I don't know how it came about. Anyway, from 9th to 10th, then again from 10th to 11th his math score improved hugely, something like 60 points each time, for the simple reason that he had more math courses under his belt. In that regard, could it be the case that PSAT scores from earlier years in high school aren't representative of what a child would score later on?
The situation with your daughter sounds much more complex than that; I don't mean to trivialize your concerns. But still, her scores could go up at least somewhat when she has finished this year of school.
I am praying for you and your family; it sounds like you have gone through a lot with your daughter. God bless you.
Peace,
Nancy
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Elizabeth
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| Posted: Dec 11 2007 at 5:52pm | IP Logged
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Mary Alice,
I don't have encouraging scores to share but I do have some shred of hope. Michael's PSAT scores were horrible. His SAT scores were average (after hours and hours of study and taking them several times and a tutor who thought he'd do wonderfully --she was the author of Boot Camp for Your Brain). They were very, very average scores.He had a 4.0 over 22 credits of community college courses he took for dual enrollment credit and he's on course to his finish his first semester at the university with a 4.0. And that is with the strain of playing Division I soccer. Those scores are not all that predictive in my opinion.
__________________
Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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jdostalik
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| Posted: Dec 13 2007 at 11:55am | IP Logged
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Dear Mary Alice,
I graduated from UT Austin with B. S. and a 3.66 GPA. My test scores on the PSAT and SAT were on the lower side of average. I only got into UT (without having to go the community college route) because I was in the top 10% of my high school graduating class. I have always struggled in test taking and I remember one of the standardized tests I took in public school (for vocation awareness) indicated that I should NOT go to college but try a trade instead (which is fine, but I was academically inclined!!)....
I know this doesn't address your problem with RAD or the language issues you fear, but Susie may not be able to take these tests well like many others...there are other options and like Elizabeth said, test results are not necessarily a predictor of how she would do in a college environment.
Please know that you all are in our family's prayers.
__________________
God Bless,
Jennifer in TX
wife to Bill, mom to six here on earth and eight in heaven.
Let the Little Ones Come
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folklaur
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| Posted: Dec 13 2007 at 1:04pm | IP Logged
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My daughter took the PSAT and did "okay" - not stellar or anything, just pretty average (higher in English and lower in Math.) However, she took community college courses and got A's.
For college admissions, she took the ACT instead. She scored much higher on the ACT. The ACT seems to have more "practical knowledge." (Not as much of the "Apple is to Kangaroo, as Peaches are to _____", for instance.)
Most of the colleges we talked to said they would accept either the ACT or SAT, but that they preferred the ACT. However, I have been told that there are regional preferences.
I know the the PSAT can get you the national merit scholarships. However, we knew, in reality, that dd was just not strong enough in Math for that to really matter.
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Leonie
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| Posted: Dec 13 2007 at 10:53pm | IP Logged
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Can't offer any advice - sorry - but am offering up a prayer!
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Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
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Anne Marie M
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| Posted: Dec 27 2007 at 9:25pm | IP Logged
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Mary Alice,
Jumping in after quite a long bread from the forum. . . just wanted to let you know that with one kid, the SAT scores were much higher than the PSAT scores. We did a lot of test prep - got SAT books, etc. I think that, as well as the additional maturity/additional courses, helped.
Anne Marie in NM
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4Real Forums : High School Years and Beyond
Topic: PSAT
