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Maria B.
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| Posted: Sept 25 2007 at 9:03am | IP Logged
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I am really struggling with this this year. I thrive on order. Over the years of having lots of children, I have learned to "lower my standards", but it still bothers me, sometimes more than others. This year seems to be the worse. Elizabeth mentioned this in her recent "Waldorf" post a bit. By the middle of the day, my house looks like several bombs hit it between Biology labs, crafts, lessons, manipulatives, puzzles, meals, etc. Sometimes we can restore things before we tackle the next thing, but often times we are running out of the house to get to baseball practice and dance. Yikes, coming home to the mess is a huge challenge for me. The kids are dirty, hungry and tired (not to mention me being hungry and tired too!) I have to work really hard at not "losing it". How do some of you deal with this?
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Maria in VA
Proud Mom to 10 Great kids!
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happymama
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| Posted: Sept 25 2007 at 10:45am | IP Logged
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I'm afraid you're in "another league" so to speak, as I only have 3 kiddos. But walking into a messy room automatically raises my blood pressure, and dh does NOT like coming home to a messy house!
I do schedule major chores somewhat like in the book A Mother's Rule of Life. We have a 4PM mandatory clean-up time, focusing on the front living room first (where daddy walks in the door.) I also decorate in what I call a "minimalist" style; i.e., only what's deemed necessary do I keep out. No Precious Moments figurines to dust in this house. :) FlyLady's ideas have also been helpful.
I try to have a specific place for everything, and the kids are learning quickly where everything belongs. It's a big time investment on my part, but I am really trying to teach the kids how to clean up & appreciate how "nice" a clean room looks. Of course, as we breathe a lot of Montessori ideas here, the kids all have their own dusters and so on to "help".
I suppose the main thing that helps me is if I can have at least one very clean & orderly place in the house. This is usually the living room, which is what dh & any unexpected visitors see first. It's a place where I can sit to read to the kids and at least "pretend" I'm in a tidy house. :) The kitchen is a close second place, as we inevitably spend a lot of time in there as well. Blessings to you!
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afranciscan
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| Posted: Sept 25 2007 at 12:54pm | IP Logged
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Maria I experience the same thing on our town days (2 per week) and my oldest 13. My fantasy is that by the time my children are your children's ages I would be mostly "managing" and they would be doing most of the actual work. We'll see if I can actualize that but that is the goal and we are working in that direction. I'm of the mindset that out side activities are a privilaage for those who can carry their weight. The children must be respectful to me, work diligently and keep up with a good amount of chores or we withdrawl form outside activities and get back to basics. That's the theory anyway. It's hard to pull back after you've signed up for something and have a child who is struggling. Or a very social child who NEEDS an outside activity like she needs air and water but doesn't want to pull her weight in chores. Another problem that I always wanted to avoid was the oldest feeling like he is doing more than his share and resenting the little mess makers.
So I'm looking forward to others' replies since I share some of the same struggles. All I have to offer is my ideal that children that age can manage a home with adult oversight.
Jennie Lou
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Jennie Lou
Married my prince charming in 1993, ds 94, dd 97, dd 00, ds 02, twin ds from Liberia 03, dd 04, dd 08
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Maria B.
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| Posted: Sept 25 2007 at 4:52pm | IP Logged
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afranciscan wrote:
| My fantasy is that by the time my children are your children's ages I would be mostly "managing" and they would be doing most of the actual work. |
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I had the fantasy once too, and it has became reality several years ago! All my girls, ages 20 -12, can manage the entire house (except nurse the baby!) without me around ... and quite well. My older son can do the same when he is home (he is away for college). What I have found though is that the older the children get, the more serious their studies become and they have many more demands on their time. My oldest daughter works full time. My next 2 girls are high schoolers and have a heavy school load, babysit, dance, etc. My 12 and 13 year old help too! They all have chores, etc., including the 3 younger boys. It really isn't so much household chores, cleaning, cooking - that stress me out. It is just all the stuff - projects, books, supplies, etc. everywhere!
I wasn't really asking for a solution! I don't think I could get much more organized without driving everyone else around here nuts! Just wanted to hear some "coping strategies", personal experiences, etc. And maybe I was just venting!
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Maria in VA
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afranciscan
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| Posted: Sept 25 2007 at 5:08pm | IP Logged
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Maria, Ooops, I didn't mean to sound like I was solving things for you. I think when I read your post I had a little fear - What if I get to that stage and I'm still struggling with the same thing! So it makes me wonder, if the children can manage everything then why are there still
"projects, books, supplies, etc. everywhere!" Sounds like it's because older children are necessarily more involved in outside activities? Sigh. I guess I'll find out when I get there. But in the meantime maybe someone who has btdt will chime in to be your support.
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Jennie Lou
Married my prince charming in 1993, ds 94, dd 97, dd 00, ds 02, twin ds from Liberia 03, dd 04, dd 08
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Leonie
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I don't do well with clutter - regular pick ups are the only thing that ever works here. Yes, when we had many little ones, I used to worry that most of our day was spent picking up - but it helped me feel calm and provided a rhythm between activities anyway. 
We pick up at breakfast, at morning tea, at lunch, at afternoon snack time ( if we are home), at dinner time, a bedtime...Meal times are obviously important to my kids, as most of the picking up and general tidying is attached to meal breaks! 
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Leonie in Sydney
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: Order
