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teachingmyown
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Every year, all my planning notwithstanding, I find myself in the same facing the same truths. First, I am not a teacher. I do not enjoy "teaching". No matter how interesting the program, my head spins and my eyes glaze over when I attempt to teach from a book. Second, my kids are all different, there is no one approach that could make us all happy or even just content enough to go with the flow.
So, today, I was trying to look at each one of us and re-evaluate what I am trying to do here.
Me: I am a reader, not a talker. I am introverted and overwhelmed by lots of activity. There is really not an artistic bone in my body.  I love to philosophize and ponder. Usually, this doesn't translate into action.
DD 11- this is the child who starts the year writing her schedule for the day. She likes structure. She does not like me telling her what books to use or read. She would be happy to read all day and rarely shows interest in art of any kind. Today she told me she doesn't like history (blasphemy!  ) and of course, we are doing Sonlight this year. She does get discouraged, though, when the other kids aren't following the "schedule".
DS 9- This is the child who is supposed to be in fourth grade but other than his various workbooks, will not pick up a pencil for anything. Often, the very mention of doing "schoolwork" sends him into a tantrum. He is also content to read all day, but he is adamant about choosing his own books. He does read a variety, and above grade level, but for the most part, I cannot suggest a book.
DD 7- This child is very artistic (poor thing, she was born into the wrong family!  ). She is very agreeable and really would do whatever I asked her. She likes her workbooks and loves to read and be read to. But she is happiest creating something.
DD 5- This child is my prodigy. She taught herself to read and zips through every workbook, including math, that I give her. She is one who reads a fact in one book and will go to the globe or another source to verify it or learn more about it. She is not as interested in artwork like her older sister, but would probably like it if I offered more opportunties and variety. I worry about stifling her love of learning and self-initiative.
So, this is the family, not including the 4 yr old and toddler along for the ride. I am looking at the big picture and not quite sure what direction I need to go in.
Like I said, I choose Sonlight this year, because it most closely fits what I like. I am reading more about TJEd and thinking that it will help me tailor our homeschool to fit each of us.
It was suggested that I look at a Waldorf-ish approach to freshen things up. I see the beauty in what I have looked at and the gentleness of the approach, but like I said I am so not artistic.
Are we unschoolers? I am thinking that is the path to go, but I worry about letting ds 9 get by without picking up a pencil or covering the "basics".
I don't really know what I am asking here. And I am sorry this is really long. I am hoping for a little objective, outside input.
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In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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1floridamom
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Molly, were we separated at birth?! This is exactly what I go through, not yearly, more monthly. And I have the exact temperament that you describe of yourself. We have had our house turned upside down this summer with a variety of construction projects around the house (both outsourced and diy) that threw me off. There are still plenty of things that need to be put in order and moved around here, and I am almost at a complete loss. I am trying to do little bits every day, because I feel a great need to at least "set the stage." I am fairly comfortable with the unschooler label. I most closely resemble unschoolers when I look at people's objectives and carry through, for lack of a better term.
I have been more so in the last couple of years because of babies and a home business that requires some of my assistance. I am totally unorganized but crave it immensely. I have seen my boys really blossom while at the same time, I'm having real concerns over their lack of including "the basics" in their everyday pursuits. My oldest dd has also really caused me some concern. She has wanted to read for years and is having no luck in deciphering the code; she may have tracking issues which I want to verify. But, she is plopped right in the middle of the older boys and the babies, and I am afraid that she has gotten the short end of the stick in the last few years. This is her big sacrament year, too, so I have already planned to focus a lot on her.
I love the books from Sonlight, but I have never been able to use the IG the way it is meant to be used to get the full strength of it. The books are helping to build a wonderful library in our house, though, and they are read. I guess what I'm getting at is that based on your picture of your house, including a new baby on the way, what's the worst that can happen by letting go of the structure (except for the dd who likes it)? One year or a few months won't ruin anyone permanently. When the dust settles you may decide that you need more structure or you may find that everyone (or some) flourish with a little freedom. They are all still young...I hope I don't keep saying that to myself when they hit their 20s.
I think the thing that scares most people about unschooling is what can happen if it turns into un-parenting. As long as your relationships are all good and respectful that won't be an issue. My prayers will be with you all, and I beg for them for my house, too. My ADHD dh has his own business and is starting a few other projects, too, and I am having a hard time finding peace and being supportive right now. He is a hard worker and always looks out for his family, so I shouldn't worry. It's what I do.
Blessings,
__________________
Monica in FL
dh Steve, Sean (14), Ethan (13), Emily (10), Kylie (6), Ashley (5) and Lindsay (2)!
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Willa
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Maybe a mixture of Sonlight-type literature and unschooling? Your description sounds a bit like me. I get worn out FAST by intensive methods and multi-level teaching.
If your curriculum gave you enough space to feel like the "basics" were covered, then you could perhaps spend the extra time and energy following interests or learning more about the methods that interest you -- like Montessori and Waldorf.
I guess I am saying pretty much what Monica said... anyway, I'll be keeping an eye on the thread to see what others tell you!
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Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
Take Up and Read
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Bookswithtea
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Molly, I'm thinking/praying about your post. I have a similar personality. Back later...
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~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and  due 9/10
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Elizabeth
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I would take the Sonlight booklist, ditch the IG entirely, let your kids read through the books in order and narrate as they go ( some in writing, some just chatting). If you want to add art, have them illustrate their narrations. You live in the country (and it's a beautiful part of Virginia) so I'd have them do all their natural journaling close to home in your backyard. Take a nature twist on art this year with a book like The Jumbo Book of Outdoor Art or Ecoart
To appeal to your daughter's sense of order, have a rhythm to your days. Start with math and then those workbooks, break for lunch, have stories before the little one's nap and then let the big ones read a little longer while the little ones (and you) sleep. When you get up, it's art or nature. Written narrations can be done in the evening when things are fairly quiet or they can be done every other day during that quiet reading time. In the evening, read Catholic Mosaic picture books and then read aloud from CHC Devotional Stories or St. Patrick's Summer or another living religion read aloud. If you can keep a predictable rhythm, your structured kids won't implode and if the rhythm has breathing room and freedom of choice within limits, your unschoolers won't suffocate.Require a minimum number of books for your reluctant students and make many, many more available for your eager students. Don't make it too hard on yourself; you're having a baby!
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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teachingmyown
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Quote:
| Molly, were we separated at birth? |
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Monica, I always wanted a sister!
Quote:
| Maybe a mixture of Sonlight-type literature and unschooling? Your description sounds a bit like me. I get worn out FAST by intensive methods and multi-level teaching. |
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Willa, I have often thought that we had much in common. That is why I watched your progression of thoughts on unschooling last year with interest. You seem to go through the same thought processes that I do. Somehow, you seem to come to conclusions more easily than I do.
Quote:
| I would take the Sonlight booklist, ditch the IG entirely, let your kids read through the books in order and narrate as they go ( some in writing, some just chatting). |
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Elizabeth, this is what my instincts were telling me. I just worried that they wouldn't get what they "needed" from the books with out the discussion questions and activities. But by the time we finish the read-aloud time, everyone wants to be off on their own, so pulling out the IG just ruins the whole thing for us, IYKWIM. To the kids, it is bad enough that I "assign" books. Even just picking random books off of a book list and checking them out of the library is met with suspicion. "Why does Mom want me to read this?" Like I am tricking them into learning or something!
The hard part will be the narrations with Benjamin. He will talk to me all day, usually all night when everyone else is asleep, but he doesn't write yet. I guess I could start taping him. I used to do that with some success with Charlie. Sydney will do the written narrations without much fuss. Her problem is she tries to re-create what she has read.
Is it okay to let Benjamin go longer without requiring writing from him? I would guess the unschooling answer would be "yes". At what age (he is 9) do I really need to lay down the law? Or do I ever? Will he pick it up when he sees the need?
I need to brush up on narration. I also think I will re-subscribe to the Bravewriter emails. They were full of good prompts and reminders without requiring too much structure or commitment.
Thank you all for your input. One thing I find hard about being here on 4Real is seeing the wonderful artistic and creative things other families are doing, the incredible learning that seems to be going on in other homes and wondering how to give my kids the best I can while working within the framework of who I am. I have learned to not compare, but it still leaves me searching for that right combination which will help us all regain our enthusiasm.
__________________
In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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Kristie 4
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Everyone gave you such good advice (I don't have anything to add at this late hour). I also have a little troop that all thrive on different things, and am not a 'natural teacher'..... I try to hit the basics, read some books and then take time in my days to engage in some of the things that each one of us thrive on. For example, today I pitched balls to my 4yo for two hours. These type of things don't happen every day around here, or even most days, but when they do happen it shows!
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Kristie in Canada
Mom to 3 boys and one spunky princess!!
A Walk in the Woods
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Elizabeth
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teachingmyown wrote:
The hard part will be the narrations with Benjamin. He will talk to me all day, usually all night when everyone else is asleep, but he doesn't write yet. I guess I could start taping him. I used to do that with some success with Charlie. Sydney will do the written narrations without much fuss. Her problem is she tries to re-create what she has read.
Is it okay to let Benjamin go longer without requiring writing from him? I would guess the unschooling answer would be "yes". At what age (he is 9) do I really need to lay down the law? Or do I ever? Will he pick it up when he sees the need?
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CM says ten, so he's good for a little while longer
In all seriousness, I would record some of his for him because he does need to start getting in the groove. But, I think that for some boys, it actually is physically difficult quite late into childhood.
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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Bookswithtea
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RE: Boys and narrations:
My ds is 14 now. Even at 10, narrations were an ubelieveable chore and he still complained of hand cramps after writing two short sentences.
I spent the the entire year he was 11 getting him "over" the "my hand hurts" syndrome. 4 days a week copywork and or 15 minutes straight of journaling. That's all he did for writing, and he read a ton of books. It worked. At 12 he was able to compose a paper for a coop style lit. class, and at 14, he is composing 4 summaries a week.
***One thing I find hard about being here on 4Real is seeing the wonderful artistic and creative things other families are doing, the incredible learning that seems to be going on in other homes and wondering how to give my kids the best I can while working within the framework of who I am. I have learned to not compare, but it still leaves me searching for that right combination which will help us all regain our enthusiasm.***
I can do a unit study time slot (about 45 minutes is my limit), but I am not the mom to "gather my chicks" and spend the day doing science experiments. And aftering crying in my teacup about it to God, I think He has shown me that this is ok, too. He made me, personality and all, and He gave me these children for our mutual sanctification and because they need me to be as I was created, not to be someone else.
I hear you about personality/temperament. I am not naturally joyful about schooling either because my inclination is to be curled up alone with a book, and until the discussion came up here, I thought crayolas WERE the nicer crayons(read...exceptionally art challenged). Its God's calling in my life to have a big family and stretch my comfort zones waaaaaaaaaaaaay beyond what I would have liked. {{{Molly}}}.
I think the advice Elizabeth has given is excellent. I was drafting something similar last night but she said it better.
So just a few other things:
I have found that rather than waiting for naptime to read, my preschoolers do best when I read to them first. So I'd plan a reading time while the others are doing their independent stuff.
I allow all sorts of imaginative play and creativity in the afternoon free times, but I don't allow them to watch tv (I only use it with the 2 and 4 yr olds when I am reading aloud to the older two). And we don't have playstation or gameboys in the house at all. That keeps them choosing good ways to spend their free time. My personality does not mesh with unschooling, much as I appreciate the philosophy. So I try to work routines like Elizabeth has said...semi structured mornings for my sanity and less structured afternoons for their sanity.
You have a baby coming, so whatever routine you work out, it needs to be one that doesn't stress you out too much, and helps you to feel good about your homeschool. It needs to mesh with your personality as much as it needs to mesh with theirs. No guilt over uber-lapbooks, k?
I have most of the SL manuals. You don't need their questions or guided discussions. Most of it is twaddle. Narrations are the way to go, and they can be oral or typed on the computer much of the time. My girls like me typing better than recording because its easy to fix "mess ups" (they just start their sentence over) and they like to pick fonts and colors for printing. I've also found that helping them with narrations when its a nonfiction study goes a long way in encouraging them (I know its not entirely CM to help...but they are still learning what a good narration includes, so I look at it as temporary).
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Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and due 9/10
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Jennifer
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Maybe it's not my place to THANK everyone for their responses, but I will anyway. THANK YOU!!!! The responses were so honest and practical. I can definitely use some of the suggestions. I especially like Elizabeths's layout for the day. She really has this homeschooling thing figured out. Chances are most families will have a variety of personalities. And that's what makes homeschooling so awesome; the kids can learn to identify and work with each other's differing personalities.
Jennifer
Camp Homeschool
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teachingmyown
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Bookswithtea wrote:
| No guilt over uber-lapbooks, k? |
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I am laughing hard over that one! That's me! I buy them stuff for the pre-planned lapbooks and I can't even get myself to do one with the kids!
You are so right though about accepting the temperament and personality God has given us and see that we are the right mom for the job for our kids, just like their personalities are the ones chosen to help us achieve sanctification. (apparently, I needed a LOT of sanctification! )
My three oldest are gone today, so I am spending time reading through old threads and various blogs trying to organize my thoughts. The down-time is helpful.
Thank you all. This has been very helpful to me.
__________________
In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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Elizabeth
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Jennifer wrote:
| I especially like Elizabeths's layout for the day. She really has this homeschooling thing figured out. |
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ROFLOL! I feel asleep last night with not one, not two, not three, but four different curriculum manuals in my bed.
Figuring it out in my sleep, I am 
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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Leonie
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Elizabeth wrote:
| I would take the Sonlight booklist, ditch the IG entirely, let your kids read through the books in order and narrate as they go ( some in writing, some just chatting). |
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I'm chiming in, to second Elizabeth's idea re Sonlight - we have done this in the past, we love the Sonlight booklists for the most part. We just read, narrate, follow rabbit trails and ignore the IG and schedules.
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Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
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Bookswithtea
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teachingmyown wrote:
| I am laughing hard over that one! That's me! I buy them stuff for the pre-planned lapbooks and I can't even get myself to do one with the kids! |
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Well, I only know because it takes a mom with lapbook phobia to recognize another. I've discovered that notebooking is a much easier way to do these kinds of things.
Oh! I forgot to mention about kids hating history...My oldest (14) hates history. I am unbelieveably grieved by this, as history is my favorite subject and I think he's had the best of all history books from first grade onward.
It dawned on me...less than 2 weeks ago, mind you...that that's probably the problem. I think I overkill history because I can't seem to say no to any great historical fiction book. I have promised myself that I won't make that mistake again (poor guinea pig first children). Less historical fiction, more classic literature on a variety of topics, and depth of topic rather than running ragged through time period after time period in order to cover it all. We are still using all those Sonlight books (I built my library on their catalogue and Emmanuel's) but in a MUCH different way than I did the first time.
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Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and due 9/10
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Erin
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Bookswithtea wrote:
| I think I overkill history because I can't seem to say no to any great historical fiction book. I have promised myself that I won't make that mistake again (poor guinea pig first children). Less historical fiction, more classic literature on a variety of topics, and depth of topic rather than running ragged through time period after time period in order to cover it all. We are still using all those Sonlight books (I built my library on their catalogue and Emmanuel's) but in a MUCH different way than I did the first time. |
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Books
I would be very interested in 'hearing' more of what you are planning in the way of depth, how you are going to do depth? I love Emmanuel's catalogue myself and quite alot of Sonlight too. (Please feel free to move this as I don't want to hi-jack Molly's thread, which I'm reading with avid interest )
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Erin
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Bookswithtea
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Erin wrote:
Books
I would be very interested in 'hearing' more of what you are planning in the way of depth, how you are going to do depth? I love Emmanuel's catalogue myself and quite alot of Sonlight too. (Please feel free to move this as I don't want to hi-jack Molly's thread, which I'm reading with avid interest) |
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I've always been terrified of unit studies because of being craft challenged (kind of like my fear of lapbooks, which persists, btw!). I've forced myself to get over that this summer (using FIAR to walk me through it).  Unit studies only until 5th grade, then continuing unit studies along with once a week audiocd of SOTW (modified as necessary for anti Catholic rubbish, of course) and making sure to timeline regularly. Normally I would focus on the themes in SOTW. Now I'm just using it to frame the unit studies. Does that make sense? We will cover everything in SOTW in more depth at the high school level. I'm using all my old SL books as read alouds, and a lot of the colorful history type books wherever they fit in to the unit studies.
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Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and due 9/10
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Bookswithtea
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Molly, how's your planning going?
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Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and due 9/10
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Willa
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Bookswithtea wrote:
| Molly, how's your planning going? |
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I'd like to know, too!
__________________
AMDG
Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
Take Up and Read
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teachingmyown
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Ahhh! I feel put on the spot!
I have decided to go along with what Elizabeth and Leonie had recommended, a mix of Sonlight and unschooling. I will let the kids read through the Sonlight books, and work on establishing some routines for narration.
Our mornings will stayed fixed with various workbooks. I am still not sure how I will deal with ds9 who really just hates writing outside of a workbook. I planned on doing Sonlight's Language Arts program, but he has balked at any oral discussion of concepts or copywork/dictation. Last year he did Language of God and didn't mind doing it. I am not convinced he retained much though, which is why I switched programs.
I bought each child a binder to put all their work in. I am hoping this will encourage lots of narrations and art work. Sydney, dd 11, will have a planner and a schedule and I will work with her to plan goals and what materials she wants to use. Things like grades are very important to her, so I will have to stay on top of the structure for her.
My kids all read constantly. I am planning to supplement Sonlight with books from various lists, in particular the one from TJEd Home Companion.
I am very interested in the ideas from TJEd, especially that of improving my own education and modeling a love of learning to my kids. I am still not sure how this works into a schedule for a mom of many, but I also see the value of getting my mind working again while showing my kids that learning never ends.
I am still not convinced of my ability to meet all their various needs. But, Sydney is my top priority and if I encourage her, she will do well. If I can get Benjamin to become comfortable with writing, even just a little, I think his year will be a success. The little girls will blissfully do their workbooks and read, read, read. I need to find a way to provide artistic opportunities while not overwhelming myself with extra "stuff" which I already struggle with.
So, in short, I am still researching and theorizing (my favorite things to do!) while lightening my expectations of the perfect plan.
Thank you all for your valuable input. I feel more positive than I did before. This is still a challenge for my personality, but you have made it seem doable, even for me!
God bless!
__________________
In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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1floridamom
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Molly, I know you don't need this anymore than I do, but I got a CCM email today with a reference to a new online organizer sold by Simply Charlotte Mason. I really didn't want to like it all , but it looks like it could really be something useful. Apart from my own bad habits, it seems to me that my real issue is how hard it is to "schedule" so many kids. The more I have, the harder it is to organize my time and yet the more essential it is to everyone's success.
I have heard forever how great Sonlight's IGs are, and I've seen CHC's lesson plans. How can you possibly use all of them for more than two kids?! I need to hire a cleaning crew as it is; with all of that, I'd need a cook and a butler, too.
You are not alone! 
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Monica in FL
dh Steve, Sean (14), Ethan (13), Emily (10), Kylie (6), Ashley (5) and Lindsay (2)!
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: This is my family- which direction?
