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Cay Gibson
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| Posted: March 19 2007 at 11:15am | IP Logged
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I'm trying to dwarf the "I want to go to REAL school" urge.
I've been thinking and thinking and praying.
I was watching EWTN last night and there were some nuns on Life on the Rock. I didn't catch their order but one of the nuns repeated a prayer her mother would say over her everyday. I adapted it to suit our situation:
"Help C to realize how special she is and to realize the gifts you have given her.
Help her to be all that she can be. All that you want her to be. All that you made her to be."
I'm relooking at those Rule of Six started by Lissa and compiled by Mary G. Perhaps I might even finally get my own 6 written down and turned into Mary. 
A couple of things come to mind concerning C's education:
Giving her more control of her education. I know we often talk about this but I admit to be overly concerned about instilling a good work ethic and self-discipline in my children. I have often attached a pricetag to their freedom. Now I'm thinking of giving her (almost) full control.
Aside from our various unschooling agenda, I tend to slip in those Seton and CHC workbooks to cover all the bases. There is seatwork time every day . And she balks. I'm thinking perhaps I need to let this go. She only balks at my assigned paper trails. The ones she initiates she does for hours on end.
The main reason she wants to attend school is because of the friend who tells her what FUN it is. And, since this friend has been in school all her life and still thinks it's FUN, then it must be FUN.  Chelsea says our seatwork time is "boring."
I'm thinking that perhaps Sonlight would be the ticket. For her to get a whole box of books to read for the year and (aside from our math) that be all she's required to do might be to her liking. I'm pretty sure she'd consider that FUN.
Of course, I see a part of her that is very paper oriented. She likes papers trails and accountability. She carries her Mad Libs booklet and a minature poetry book around with her...even outside. She is hardly ever without a book. She makes endless lists and writes endless stories. She is such the CM prodigy that I can't understand why school even appeals to her.
I'm seeing what a contradiction she is.
A child who likes paper trails and lists and accountability. Things a school would give her. Yet a child who likes her freedom and creative spirit even more.
I just registered for Sonlight's new 2007 catalog due out in April. When it arrives I plan to sit down with her and explore the possibility.
I asked Chelsea this morning what she wanted to do . She wants to go to the library today to do school.
Can do. Only we can't do this every day .
I'm also thinking of talking to the librarian and the bookstore manager and getting that American Girl Club going this summer. I've been wanting to do it forever because she so desires other girls to talk to about her passion and I need to go forward to make this happen. It's my own laziness that has stalled the idea.
I'd like to have her do FIAR regularly with Annie next year. Not mean just her reading the book to her sister and me carrying out the questioning and activities with them both. It would mean her planning and carrying out the lesson. Perhaps that style of self-discipline and work ethic would appeal to her more than doing workbooks at the table.
Right now I'm typing this while DQ is outside planting a whole new batch of little pots of springtime along the walkway.
As I mentioned in this thread, we're really paying attention to spring projects right now. She has breezed through here twice this morning, once to get more bird feed and another time to get the binoculars for bird watching.
Can she really desire a stuffy classroom and desk compared to this?
We'll head to the library this afternoon, at her request, and wait on that Sonlight catalog.
Thank you for letting me hammer out my thoughts here and for all your past advice and suggestions.
As much as I believe in a literary education, my one question now is about giving the child control of his/her education at the age of nine. Is this totally do-able and reasonable? or totally radical and impractical?
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Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
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lapazfarm
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| Posted: March 19 2007 at 12:14pm | IP Logged
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Well, Cay, there are alot of unschoolers out there that believe it CAN be done. I myself am not so sure, so I tend to lean more towards a collaborative effort, allowing MUCH input from ds, but retaining the ultimate authority. After all, that is my obligation.
Since she is such a listmaker, you may consider doing some goal-setting with her (collaboratively), and allowing her to list the steps she would like to take to get to those goals. Perhaps then have HER brainstorm ways in which she could be held accountable.
Good luck to you!
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Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
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Mary G
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| Posted: March 19 2007 at 12:55pm | IP Logged
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Cay -- sounds like you're doing all that you're supposed to do....it's pretty ironic that the part of schooling she hates (seatwork) makes her want tot go to school -- that's what they do all day and then have HOMEWORK! Have you thought about having C's friend come over for a day of homeschooling while she's on break? Maybe if her friend saw how cool it is to be homeschooled the reverse would happen -- she'd want to stay home too?
Know that you are in my prayers this Lenten season -- I KNOW how hard these decisions can be but trust in God to show you His path for C.
Blessings, dear
(oh, and the rule of six would be a great thing for you to send me.....  )
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MaryG
3 boys (22, 12, 8)2 girls (20, 11)
my website that combines my schooling, hand-knits work, writing and everything else in one spot!
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JuliaT
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| Posted: March 19 2007 at 2:52pm | IP Logged
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Well, I have started giving my 7 yr. old partial control of her schooling, so I may be impractical and radical right along with you. Even though, I am letting her decide what she wants to learn and how she goes about it, I am still there for guidance. If a subject area hasn't been visited in awhile, then I intervene and make sure she is getting some learning in that area.
Bible and math are a given for the day. They have to be done. Then I teach a 'lesson.' It may be history, science, art, poetry, etc. This is done usually through reading. So at least she is getting something. Then she is on her own to chose whatever strikes her fancy. This seems to be working for us.
Last week, she asked to learn about butterflies. So I put a basket together of crafts, books and worksheets all to do with butterflies. I leave it out so she can always have access to it and she choses from the basket what she would like to do. I do have a rule about this, though. If you are going to learn about something, you first have to read about it, then you can 'do' about it (measning craft,writing poetry, worksheets, etc.)
This balance seems to be working for us. She does get to choose, but there is also parental guidance. I must say, life is much more peaceful now that we are doing school this way.
Blessings,
Julia
mom to 3(7,6,4)
http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/Juliainsk
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Nina Murphy
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| Posted: March 19 2007 at 3:00pm | IP Logged
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I just wanted to tell you Cay that I got the new Sonlight catalog in the mail today, and yours will prob. be arriving soon.
Everything you are thinking and working out here seems to make sense. You are her mother and you know her best. She sounds uber-intelligent and those are always the most "difficult"! I'm praying for you--)
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God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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Cay Gibson
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| Posted: March 19 2007 at 4:33pm | IP Logged
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Nina,
My Sonlight confirmation said it would be shipped in seven days.  So I'll have it before we go camping and I can sit in a piney forest sunk in a lawn chair and peruse it and not have computer-withdrawl.
Today I let Chels call a hs friend to go to the library with us. We spent from 1:30-2:30 doing school work. Then I let them play some educational games on the library's computers from 2:30-3:30.
Now you have to know that during this I want to go to real school phase, Chels has been wondering what you do if your stomach growls during class time.
I told her you just pray that nobody heard it. Then I made the mistake of telling her how in my high school history class I carried a bag of chips in my purse and would snack on them while the teacher wasn't looking. 
She took this and ran with, "See! You got to experience this! Why can't I go to school to see what it's like?"
So we're sitting at the library doing our school work and, in the middle of deciding whether north or south California produces more cattle, she looks up at me with haloed oreos of excitment and squeaks in rapture, "My stomach just growled!"
Yes, and the whole library heard it too.
Thank you for the ideas. Keep them coming.
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Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
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Leonie
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| Posted: March 19 2007 at 4:49pm | IP Logged
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Cay, I think its sort of do-able. By sort of, I mean that some kids can run with it and others need a whole lot more guidance. But you know your dd best and what would work with her.
The other thing I find is that kids know our tender areas. If wanting to go to school always causes a mum to react, a child can subconsciously learn to bring this up at opportune times. I see this with my kids in some areas.
It sounds like you have a fun, interesting,learning homeschool. I'd take the school comments with a grain of salt and maybe even suggest that it is not open for discussion right now.
I've told my kids, in the past, - no more comments on certain things - when I think its not healthy to dwell on that which will not change or come to pass. 
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Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
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Philothea
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| Posted: March 19 2007 at 4:58pm | IP Logged
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I wonder if she might be trying to tell you she needs a definite change of scenery for her "schoolwork." The fact that she asked to go to the library tells me she might be needing structure. Not structure as far as what she's learning ... structure in her environment that allows her to have a clean break between learning mode and playing mode (even though we mommies know they're not at all separate things!).
I was the same way -- as a public school kid, I would rather stop at the library on my way home from school and do all my homework there than try to do it at home. I also used the library in college for studying. It was about having a quiet, dedicated place to get the basics taken care of, and then I could get home and enjoy reading for fun, painting, playing outside, or whatever it was I wanted to do.
I don't know how much space you have, but is there a quiet nook you could use to create a dedicated study space for her? Maybe get an old school desk-chair combo with a small bookcase next to it and stick in in a corner somewhere relatively quiet? Someplace where ALL she does is schoolwork? Or is the library something you could offer her 3 times a week and let her schedule her workbook-y stuff for those times?
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Cay Gibson
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| Posted: March 19 2007 at 5:40pm | IP Logged
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Leonie wrote:
| I've told my kids, in the past, - no more comments on certain things - when I think its not healthy to dwell on that which will not change or come to pass. |
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You are a wise woman, Leonie.
Philothea wrote:
| ... structure in her environment that allows her to have a clean break between learning mode and playing mode (even though we mommies know they're not at all separate things!). |
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Philothea,
You have definitely hit on something here...something I didn't realize until you mentioned it.
I have always applauded recognizing "learning moments" anywhere, anytime, etc. I have allowed almost anything I see the children doing to be labeled as "schooling". I think this is what I primarily term "unschooling" and I think my blog shows that laissez-faire approach.
I always thought of it as "real learning" and certainly never questioned it or thought it could be the culprit in our situation. What worked for me I figured would work for my children.
Philothea wrote:
| I don't know how much space you have, but is there a quiet nook you could use to create a dedicated study space for her? Someplace where ALL she does is schoolwork? Or is the library something you could offer her 3 times a week and let her schedule her workbook-y stuff for those times? |
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Our house is 3000 sq foot and there are plenty of "quiet nooks" but I often sit her at the table in the sitting room to begin work. I can't say it's the quietest place but in the mornings it is not high traffic. So she has had an offered "starting line".
But, often, I see her move to the chair in the sitting room, to the carpet next to the housedog, in the living room by the patio doors, in the tree outside, at the picnic table. She even has her own little schoolhouse (which really kept her happy this past February---when all this began). At the time I thought it was the foul winter weather we had been having that made her restless.
She brings with her a school of "little people" (all those little Polly Pockets and my Little Pony toys) and she teaches them as she works.
But I see what you mean. I think, with this child, a definite division line needs to be made. The library is do-able at this point in our lives and I could see about her going once a week to a tutor we used year before last. She "loved" this tutor who was hs-friendly and offered her services to us for accountability and strengthening skill. The tutor's office was (is) also very "educational" looking like a classroom. We stopped going because of the drive and I wanted to apply the tuition on other things like Spanish tutor, piano, dance, etc. Chels didn't need the reinforcement either.
But, sometimes, we have to reinforce the spirit as well as the mind, huh. 
Between library and tutor class, I think we could refocus on this situation.
Once again, thank you for the ideas and advice and for listening as I sort this problem out.
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Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: Giving the Child Control
