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Becky J
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Hi -- My name is Becky Jennings, and I'm a mom of two "littles" who just joined the forum (my introduction is posted in the Introduction thread).
I'm not homeschooling yet -- my older child is only 3 -- but my husband and I are looking ahead to what life might be like if we do decide to homeschool. We're also looking ahead to what life might be like if (God willing) we have more children.
My question is for those of you who already have bigger families and are already homeschooling: if you were back at the stage of life I am (two small kids, not yet schooling them in a formal way), what would you do to prepare for the stage of life you're at now? What should I do now to make life easier down the line? Is there anything I can do?
My goal now is to at least set up a prayer routine (e.g., Morning Offering, noontime Angelus, evening family Rosary) to get my kids used to a religious rhythm of life. But I'm wondering what my priorities should be beyond that.
Looking forward to any and all suggestions!
Becky J
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missionfamily
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Reading to your little ones and spending a lot of time outdoors would be my advice. Also, singing, telling stories, and getting your days into a gentle rhythm that will accomodate your family at different ages and phases will be immensely helpful. And, another opinionated bit of advice, don't look too far ahead. This is the only time your family will look the way it looks now. In the blink of an eye you may be that mom trying to juggle the schooling of various aged kids and take care of little ones. Enjoy this phase as much as possible. And deepen your own prayer life as much as possible. Sorry, when asked for advice, I tend to be over-generous  .
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Colleen
dh Greg
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Chari
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EXCELLENT question, Becky! You are already off to a great start!
I am running out the door....but I just wanted to say WELCOME  .....and, if no one else says what I would say  .......I may be back 
God bless!
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Chari...Take Up & Read
Dh Marty 27yrs...3 lovely maidens: Anne 24, Sarah 20 & Maddelyn 17 and 3 chivalrous sons: Matthew 22, Garrett 16 & Malachy 11
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JuliaT
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Welcome Becky! You have already started one thing that is part of my advice. You have joined an online forum to learn as much as you can about homeschooling. You will do well to let the wisdom of these ladies seep into your brain. Along this same line, the one thing that I did before I started hsing, was to read as much as I could about hsing in gengeral and on the specific methods of education. This helped me a great deal when we started because I knew how I wanted our schooling to look. Now, I have had to change a few things, but I wasn't flapping around in the water,not sure in which direction to swim. It helps alot to know if you want to go the workbook route or if you want to take the living book path. That will cut down on alot of confusion.
One thing that I wished I had known when we first homeschooled was, just because my child is a smart cookie, it doesn't mean that we have to do academics right away. I wished I had taken her K year and just did nature study, arts and crafts, baking, etc. But I was under the mistaken assumption that if she is already reading, then I need to keep up with her. That is not true. Emotionally she was still a 5 year old and she still needed to do 5 year old things.
I cannot stress enough how important it is to read and read and read. I am thankful that we did do that. That is a great foundation.
There is lots more that I could say, but these three things were the biggies. Enjoy your time now with your littles cause this time will be gone in a blink of an eye.
Blessings,
Julia
mom of 3 (8,6,4)
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Michaela
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Becky J wrote:
| what would you do to prepare for the stage of life you're at now? What should I do now to make life easier down the line? |
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Welcome to the forums, Becky! You've started with a great question!
I would have focused more on organization and given up my habit of procrastination. (Staying up all night in college to finish a report I had put off (because I was also working 40hr wks) wasn't a problem at all or staying up alllll night (no sleep) before our movers came to clean, but can cause unnecessary stress and anxiety when it comes to the management of my household .)
That would include everything that has to do with running a household....meal planning, grocery shopping, bills, staying up on chores, everything has a place, don't put off until tomorrow what can be done today (it adds up fast!) etc... Not in an obsessed way just with the hindsight that better organization and willing to change when necessary has helped my household run smoother.
Goodness, the time wasted looking for a pair of shoes or keys when they should have a home! The stress of finding those things before we are late to an appt. The obvious is *so* obvious that I let it slide.
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Michaela
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ALmom
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Well so far people have said what I would have said:
focus on your own spiritual development and organization skills
enjoy this time and relax with your children indoors and out
read aloud
don't stress over any kind of methodology but act a bit like a fly on the wall. (One thing you will begin to notice is that someone may wax elequont about their newest found way of doing school and then next year, it is something else - so you will begin to see how much depends on the particular mix and dynamics of all the folks who make up your family and the stage you are in at the moment and you will be less tempted to chase shadows looking for something elusive - like something that will make homeschooling always easy - it is wonderful but not always easy!)
Begin to get into a household routine.
I would add to the above ideas the following:
establish rhythms with the liturgical year and ways to celebrate a little at a time. What you start when they are 3 will not be dorky when they are 13 or 17 or 20. Then at 13, when you are tired, they won't let you leave those traditions out and may even take over helping keep them going!
The other thing I would say is plan to take more time now with all those various chores so that you can include your 3 yo. If you are washing windows, give her her own spray bottle and rag and do it side by side. It takes more time now and it is so tempting to wait to do the dishes or the laundry or... when the littles are in bed - but what they habitually do now, they cheerfully do later without stress. Even playing side by side and then side by side taking turns putting the blocks back in the box or whatever. It is so funny, but what we consider drudgery, the 3 yo considers the epitomy of delight as long as you are nearby.
Janet
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teachingmom
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Hi Becky,
So many good ideas have already been shared. I applaud you for purposefully thinking about what you want your family to look like down the road.
I would encourage you to create a family culture. Introduce traditions that you and other family members love that will bind you together and create wonderful memories. One big example of this in my family is how we pray together on a daily basis. Many of these traditions will be faith based, but others may be things like family game nights, summer vacations, ways to celebrate birthdays, etc. This may be a no-brainer, but make family dinners a priority.
Reach outside your immediate family. You know the saying, "No man is an island?" Well, I'd add that no family is an island. I think it's important to create close lasting ties with other families who share your faith and values -- both friends and relatives.
One area in which I am now really reaping the benefits of early effort is in the area of children being helpful around the house. I completely agree with Janet that it is very much worth the time and trouble to get young children to be responsible and helpful. They naturally turn into responsible and helpful older children and teenagers --to a greater or lesser degree, depending on temperament. It's such a blessing to know that I can depend on my children to do their chores (sometimes with a bit of reminding for the forgetful ones), help around the house cheerfully (in general), and (for the older ones) responsibly care for their younger siblings when I need to be away.
Enjoy this time. My 11 yo asked me the other day, "Mom, what did you do all day back when you had just one child?" She sees how full life is with six children and homeschooling and wonders how I could possibly have kept busy with only one baby or toddler. The funny thing is that I had to think a moment before answering her. Then I listed examples of the many things a mother of an only baby or toddler does. (She was shocked to learn that daily computer time was not one of them, by the way!  ) The early years with our first children are so precious. Savor them if you can.
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~Irene (Mom to 6 girls, ages 7-19)
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Kathryn UK
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Hello Becky,
I've been thinking about this a lot lately as I am actually going to get the chance to start over with the benefit of experience. My two eldest daughters have always been homeschooled until this year, but for various reasons are now in school. That means I will be starting afresh with my youngest daughter (and, God willing, another little one).
With my older girls I fell into the trap of doing too much too soon. I have been pondering aloud on my blog the way I want the early years to look this time round. This is the list I came up with of things I want to focus on ...
* gentle, nurturing atmosphere
* emphasising the rhythm of the year
* rhythmic days
* child-led learning
* picture books
* fairy tales and imaginative stories
* enjoying nature
* lots of art and craft
* learning about the world and its people
* avoiding over-stimulation
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Kathryn
Dh Michael,  Rachel(3/95) Hannah(8/98) Naomi(6/06)  (11/07)
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SuzanneG
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Kathryn UK wrote:
* avoiding over-stimulation
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Kathryn, would you expand on this? For everyone it will be different, but in general, what does this mean for your family?
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Suzanne in ID
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Elena
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The only other thing I wish I had done before I started homeschooling, is read more of the classics. Now that I have a high schooler I am having to do all that reading now! Better late than never I guess, and maybe this is God's way to make sure I at least read them before I leave this world! Still it's pretty interesting to be discussing something like To Kill A Mockingbird with my 9th grader and I'm only a few pages ahead of him!
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Kathryn UK
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SuzanneG wrote:
Kathryn UK wrote:
* avoiding over-stimulation
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Kathryn, would you expand on this? For everyone it will be different, but in general, what does this mean for your family? |
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Thank you for pinning me down on this one Suzanne . I just wrote a blog post which I will copy here ...
"I added this to my list with only the vaguest ideas of what I meant by overstimulation. On one level it is the obvious things - too much stuff and too much screen time. Even though I think I am fairly selective with toys the number can easily snowball - already I can see this happening with Little Cherub, as it did with her sisters. I'm not sure whether I need to be more selective, or simply to be careful to rotate toys so that the number available at any one time is limited. Probably both. I do rotate things already to some extent, but find that extra stuff easily drifts out and doesn't get put away again. I have always limited screen time for little ones, but even so it is easy for more TV / DVD time to creep in. And Little Cherub is already intrigued by the computer. Arguably any screen time is overstimulating for a toddler or pre-schooler. I'm not sure I would go this far - or maybe I just don't want to? - but I do see a need to keep it within narrow limits.
On the wider level, I easily fall into the trap of too much. Trying to do too much, rushing around too much, and cramming in one thing after another. Avoiding overstimulation means slowing down, taking time to smell the roses and kick the leaves. Time just to be, without constantly moving to the next thing. I also want to achieve a quieter, calmer atmosphere. Our family is loud - vociferous and argumentative, with a tendency for everyone to talk at once. Loudly. I'm sure quiet and calm needs to start with me, and I'm not good at it.
I see avoiding overstimulation not just as a negative thing, but as something that opens up a positive way. It should allow the creation of what I think Charlotte Mason means by atmosphere when she talks of education as "an atmosphere, a discipline, a life" ... a calm space within which learning is as natural as breathing."
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Kathryn
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jugglingpaynes
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Kathryn is so right about the overstimulation issue. I find it very hard to avoid. I only have 3, but I always seem to be pulled in all directions and spend a lot of time driving them to their activities. With two in the religious ed. program (my oldest was just Confirmed in October-Yay!),one who is working his way toward a black belt in Tae Kwon Do, and group activities like a weekly nature class and a monthly storytelling group, we seem to always be on the go!
I think the one thing I would suggest is relax. I think someone said it above, but it bears repeating. I worried so much about how I was doing when I started homeschooling. I think my fears of the school district and shouldering the responsibility of educating my children made me a very tense mom in the early years. I spent a lot of energy worrying about what other people thought. I have much more fun with the kids now and I enjoy this choice I made!
Peace and Laughter,
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Lara Sauer
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I used to call myself the "accidental homeschooler!" By this, I mean that I never started out with the intention of teaching my children at home. In fact, I had never really even heard of homeschooling until my oldest was 3! And yet, here I am, 10 years later, still "accidentally" homeschooling. I didn't discover homeschooling, it discovered me!
Oh, if I could do it all over again...I would let my children play more and I would spend those early years of their "education" improving myself. I would have taken Latin classes earlier. I would have immersed myself in the Classics, from Greek literature and Ancient History all the way to American Literature and Modern History. I would have taken some art classes and maybe thrown in an algebra or geometry class for good measure! You will soon find out how amazingly quickly your children will progress from phonics to physics! When my children were young, I belonged to a Mom's group, and while the children played, we studied the Summa of St. Thomas Aquinas. I would engage in more of these kinds of mind stimulating and faith forming activities with other mothers. You can not hand on what you don't first possess yourself.
I would also simply love my children more. I will let them see me be more joyful. I would play and dance and sing more. I would spend more time in the woods on a sunny autumn day. I might even bake more cookies.
Today is the best day for starting anew. Thanks for the inspiration!
Be less concerned about your destination so that you can enjoy the journey!
Christ's peace!
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You can take the girl out of Wisconsin, but you can't take the Wisconsin out of the girl!
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Anne McD
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Becky,
Thank you so much for asking this question-- I'm gleaning so much wisdom from these fine mothers! Some of this I'm going to print off and tape to my fridge to remind myself daily!
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Anne
Wife to Jon
Mommy to Alex 9
James 8
Katie 6
William 3 1/2
Benedict Joseph 1
and baby on the way! 10/14
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SallyT
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All these ladies have said such excellent things!
If I had it to do over, the first thing on my list would be to homeschool from the beginning. Homeschooling found us, as someone has already said, and I love the phrase, but it didn't find us until our oldest had been in school for four years. Between what she didn't learn in school, and what she did . . . our first couple of years were rocky indeed, and in some areas we're still making up for lost time. Overall she's fine and flourishing as a homeschooled 9th grader, but I'm especially mindful of what a blessing it is to have had our secondborn home from kindergarten on, and our two youngest from birth.
Otherwise . . . relax more, feel less anxious and guilty in the beginning, not overcompensate for "lack of socialization" by signing up for too many activities . . .
Oh, being Catholic from the beginning would have helped, too, but that's not necessarily advice, just a reflection!
Wishing you joy on the journey,
Sally
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hereinantwerp
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Like so many others I would do LESS
Although my firstborn was an early reader & naturally structured and academic (still is!), I still "pushed" too much. He didn't really object, but some of the delight was lost, and took a long time to regain. I was too anxious and focused on accomplishment, and too "proud" of it, which of course children pick up on so quickly, and they feel pressure. I was using a very intensive curriculum--all "living books" mind you, but WAY too many of them. I would take it so much slower, savor more, not be in a hurry, be more in balance between "hands, heart and head" (a Waldorf phrase. Waldorf is teaching me a lot about child development that I wish I had learned 10 years ago!). I would do the childlike things like fingerplays, which my 2 year old now loves so much. I would not have such high expectations for maturity, and be more "relaxed" about discipline issues (not less FIRM, but less stressed in myself, realizing that problems are "usual and customary", not a reflection on me as a "failing" parent!)
A lot of regrets, really, but trusting in God's grace to cover the "gaps" as I'm learning as I go along!
Another little practical item to mention is, if you have an early reader, guard their eyes! I did not know this. My son was reading books such as Redwall at age 6. He developed eye problems, severe nearsightedness and a "lazy eye". Young children should not do that "close up" focusing for more than 20 minutes at a shot, and even then it should be larger print. He was probably nearsighted already but this added to it, and I had no idea!
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helene
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The prayer routine is a good idea. Also go to the library every week without fail and get lots of good childrens' books (like at least 18 or 20 each run) and read them over and over and over. Enjoy this magical time. Go out with your husband or create home-dates whenever possible. They will only become harder and harder to achieve no matter what kind of life you end up leading. Establish a hobby for yourself that you can hang onto for decades and use as a "balm" when things get too tough and you just need that kind of "therapy". Enjoy every stage. Savor every moment. It only gets better.
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hmbress
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What an excellent question and I am so grateful for all the wisdom here ... I think I too am guilty of trying to do the academics too soon, and need to step back and reflect on that. Hmmmm ....
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JuliaT
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I am coming in late here but I wanted to echo Kathryn's words about over-stimulation. I learned this the hard way this year. I don't know where my brain was when I was signing my kids up for everything under the sun. The past two months have been stressful and exhausting.
I finally learned my lesson. In the new year, each child is only doing one thing. Whew! I am giddy with anticipation at the thought of staying home more.
Blessings
Julia
mom of 3(8,6,4)
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Marybeth
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Don't compare to others! So hard to practice what I preach. Truly they will "get it" whatever "it" you are wanting them to learn. Baby steps with learning and following interests.
I need to take my own advice more often.
Welcome,Becky!!
Marybeth
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: If you had to do it all over again . . .
