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hereinantwerp
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| Posted: Aug 18 2006 at 2:16am | IP Logged
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Rachel May wrote:
For me gathering in includes saying "yes".
It is easy to say "no" for me because if I do it, it will be done right or the mess won't be made or no one will get hurt. But "yes" can mean giving up on my perfectionist pride or giving my son a chance to feel big by making a PB & J all by himself or giving my daughter the opportunity to explore out of her safety zone. "Yes" at the right time keeps them close to me instead of at odds with me. I'm hoping this will reap rewards in their teen years as well as now.
Angela, I empathize about personal space. For me, I'm sensitive to visual noise (mess) and audio noise (music/TV) and mental noise (kicking myself for being unprepared) so if we start the day with a neat, quiet, organized school space, I do better being able to gather in physically. I think finding your triggers can help.
Flexibility can be painful for me (thus gritting teeth), so I rely on structure to comfort me and "yes" to comfort them.
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audio noise really gets me--I can't have tv or music on most of the time. this was the biggest conflict of our first year of marraige  ! I feel like I literally cannot hear my own thoughts. If I do listen to music it's to soothe my nerves, I have Bach on right now, LOL. But I just don't see any solution to the audio noise problem w/kids--noise stresses me out, and kids are noisy  . And I think European houses are a lot more "echo-ey"--high ceilings, wood floors and small rooms--
so when I read the things about "highly sensitive" kids that are out now, I can totally see myself in them. but, I'm a grown-up--and I need to be mature and realistic about the needs of those around me, too.
anyway the only "solution" I've come up with is to just have dh take them AWAY sometimes, so I can rejuvinate w/a spell of SILENCE and destress. And I try to have a quiet rest time during the afternoon, and not get *too* frustrated when that doesn't work out. But I think dealing with noise is one of my hugest daily stresses, that and the "touchy" thing--children climbing on & pulling at me, I don't deal with that well. I try to hold my reactions in and not hurt their feelings. Some days I do better than others.
"I rely on structure to comfort me"--so do I. I think that's why I look at the Calvert and Sonlight catalogues, over and over again--! But over the years I find myself moving more and more toward a looser structure. In my ideal world life would work like that--nice neat little boxes, every day predictable. In my real world, it just doesn't, and I had to bend the plans into oblivion b/c they never "fit".
The article by Elizabeth that talks about Perfectionism (on the 4real website, I think it's called "Living books"?), deeply touched my life. It led me to her book, and later, to these forums, which I'm coming to really love  , and just a few of the blogs here that I try to check. I re-read that article regularly, maybe it's time again . . . ! I loved the "All together now" article too, and just printed it, to highlight and pray over.
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Angela Nelson
Mother to Simon (13), Calvin (9), and Lyddie Rose (3)
my blog: live and learn
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hereinantwerp
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| Posted: Aug 18 2006 at 2:24am | IP Logged
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krygerzoo wrote:
I'm not too comfortable yet in organizing for my 4th grader for her lesson plans. Assigning too much, too little, etc. I want to plan it out but know that I can't go too far.
Peace, Katherine
wife of David '89
momma to Ramsey 05, Claire '01, Collin '99, Cassidy '97, and missing my Kaden Michael (1994-2005) |
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I'm trying to figure out a balanced plan too--2 years ago I planned WAY too much and got frustrated--last year I had *NO* plan at all besides "pick up the next book we think of, and think of something to do with it," and that was also frustrating because a lot of days I did not feel creative or inspired to figure out something to do, and I wished for a plan. So--I'm trying to plan right now-- but not too much!! I have weeks near the end of our unit studies with very little written on them, knowing that having some "catch up" weeks in there is a good thing.
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Angela Nelson
Mother to Simon (13), Calvin (9), and Lyddie Rose (3)
my blog: live and learn
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Kim F
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| Posted: Aug 19 2006 at 9:33am | IP Logged
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<<thinking while praying of something that I've heard, how God is faithful to give us all the time we need to accomplish all he has called us to do. >.
It is so funny you mention this. It has been my firm belief for a lot of years that God gives us all we need to do His will. We are not guaranteed even a smidge more to follow our own agendas. That has been driven home to me more than I care to recall. I am getting better about accepting the limitations it imposes and making peace with the fact that obviously if its not there then it isn't His will.
Like you said it is amazing how a 15 min one and one can accomplish so much learning. If you can tuck those in here and there you will be thrilled with the results! We can usually find that much even if our preplanned chunks of time don't pan out. (And for me they never did!) Someone inevitably had a diaper blow out or the cat threw up or the phone rang with a friend who desperately needed to speak to me right then.
I used to think it was a personal flaw that I didn't have a "rule". My life has always defied that though. I have decided my rule must therefore be "exception" lol! I used to think it was being knee jerk and always reacting but now I think ok maybe it is more about responding, rolling with the punches, than about controlling all these variables. It has been MUCH more peaceful since.
Just pray to the Holy Spirit that He shows you what in your life is God's will and what is agenda and gives the grace to let go of the latter. Look creatively at the lulls in your day and see if you can sneak in a lesson there. I think a few moments devoted especially to looking a child right in the eye and explaining a concept goes much further than handing them a book and insisting they work it out. Saves you both time and frustration!
Enjoy that baby! I am off to wrap mine up in a blanket. He fell asleep over his breakfast lol!
Kim
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Starry sky ranch
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hylabrook1
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| Posted: Aug 19 2006 at 9:45am | IP Logged
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Kim -
There is so much truth in what you say. When all of my children were littles and I expressed frustration over "never being able to accomplish anything", an older, wiser woman told me that one of the saints had said, "My interruptions ARE my work."
By the way, does anyone know which saint said that?
Peace,
Nancy
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hereinantwerp
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| Posted: Aug 21 2006 at 9:03am | IP Logged
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Kim F wrote:
I think a few moments devoted especially to looking a child right in the eye and explaining a concept goes much further than handing them a book and insisting they work it out. Saves you both time and frustration!
Kim |
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I love the way you said that.
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Angela Nelson
Mother to Simon (13), Calvin (9), and Lyddie Rose (3)
my blog: live and learn
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: homeschooling w/15 mo. old
