| Author | |
Natalia
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Louisiana
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1343
|
| Posted: Jan 28 2010 at 6:29pm | IP Logged
|
 |
|
MarilynW wrote:
Jodie - in response to your question - the orthodox Liberal Arts colleges that I have talked to want their students to be there for all 4 years of the program - that is why for Catholic colleges dual enrollment, CLEP etc mean less - they WANT you to do the full program - at least that is how I understand it... |
|
|
I am not completely sure but I remember a friend saying that the Dual Enrollment classes her son took at the local College didn't transfer to University of Dallas.
__________________
Natalia
http://pannuestrodecadadia.blogspot.com
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Willa
Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 28 2005
Location: California
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3881
|
| Posted: Jan 28 2010 at 7:47pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
MarilynW wrote:
| How do you deal with the college dilemma - send your child to a wonderful orthodox Catholic college on the Newman List (and have them incur a lot of debt) or go to a local state college with good academics, without the Catholic ambiance, but living at home and little or no debt? |
|
|
In our case, the Catholic college has not left our kids with a lot of debt. It's not where most young adults couldn't pay it off within a year or two. I suppose that differs from state to state and income level to income level and Catholic college to Catholic college.
Because our highschooling was sort of unconventional it would have been tougher and possibly more expensive to get our kids into the state university than into TAC where they ended up going.
Also, I suppose not all areas have a state univ close enough for the child to stay at home.
So there are various factors that go into the decision-making -- it's not just high-debt/Catholic college vs little-debt/state university.
I wouldn't think that choice of college would "save my child's soul" (or lose it for that matter). I hope their souls have some strength by that time for surely wherever they go in their adult lives they will run some spiritual risks.
But I do think there are various positive reasons to go to a sound Catholic liberal arts college. It's not an available option for everybody, but I am heartily glad it is an option and I sort of wish I had had that kind of education (not an option, since I wasn't even Catholic when I was college age).
It's funny how localities differ -- here, almost no Catholics send their kids to Catholic colleges and so when my kids got interested in TAC, they had to face incomprehension and even skepticism: "What's a liberal arts degree?" "Aren't you worried about getting a job?" 
My second and fourth child will probably go the secular university route -- that seems to be the direction their abilities and interests are taking them right now.
__________________
AMDG
Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
Take Up and Read
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
LisaR
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2226
|
| Posted: Jan 28 2010 at 8:41pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
MarilynW wrote:
Jodie - in response to your question - the orthodox Liberal Arts colleges that I have talked to want their students to be there for all 4 years of the program - that is why for Catholic colleges dual enrollment, CLEP etc mean less - they WANT you to do the full program - at least that is how I understand it... |
|
|
I just this week spoke with Ave Maria and Benedictine, they are more than happy to accept all of Joe's dual enrollment credits, which would put him at about soph status, and never mentioned that they would like him there four years. (although now that I think about it I'm sure they would..., right?!! )
__________________
Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
SallyT
Forum All-Star
Joined: Aug 08 2007
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2489
|
| Posted: Jan 28 2010 at 10:44pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Boy, we're in the middle of all this right now.
So much depends on what your child wants to do, I think. The smaller Catholic colleges can offer such a wonderful experience, but many of them have limited offerings in terms of majors -- my daughter wants to do classics, for example, and that's relatively hard to find as a major unless you're looking at someplace larger and more diverse, like CUA (her first choice right now). She's been taking Latin at Belmont Abbey, last year on an unofficial basis, this year as a registered dual-enrollment student, and her professor pointed out to her the other day that if she goes to the Abbey, which is a strong possibility, she'll already have taken all the Latin classes on offer (and there's no classics major, so she'd have to think of something else). She very much wants to go to a Catholic college, and I think it makes sense for her on many levels: as her prof pointed out, most classicists think the world ended with the fall of the Roman Empire, or even the waning of paganism. The advantage of doing Latin studies in a Catholic setting would be that presumably you'd get to read your way through medieval Latin writers as well. So depending on a child's academic orientations, there might be purely intellectual reasons why a certain setting would or would not make sense -- above and beyond all the other factors.
If you look at the Newman Guide entries for the various colleges, I think they give statistics regarding the percentage of their students who receive financial aid. For most of them, it's a majority of their students. There are lots of scholarship options out there, some of them small and some of them large; if you can piece together a number of awards, you can potentially drive down the amount of debt your child would accrue, if any.
I think I've probably mentioned Gregory and Martine Millman's Home Schooling: A Family's Journey before -- it's a good read overall, and has a very, very helpful chapter on "Accepting a College," detailing things they did to help their children apply to, and be accepted by, selective colleges. In fact, one of the things they note is that the more selective the college, the more open the admissions department to homeschoolers' thicker and perhaps "unorthodox" applications. They also recommend making friends with the guidance office at your local high school, since that's a goldmine of information about financial aid opportunities. Not that I've done this . . . I just reread that chapter the other day, and could make a laundry list of recommended things that we haven't done . . .
I will say that one advantage to a Catholic college which we're already experiencing via the dual-enrollment thing is being able to interact with professors who aren't dismissive of, if not downright hostile to, Catholicism. In the classroom Ada gets to read medieval Latin as well as Cicero; when she goes to talk to her professor -- one of last year's new hires, along with my husband and a bioethics guy named Grattan Brown -- she can ask for college advice and get not only a rundown of what programs are good, but a thumbnail sketch of what classicists in general are like (don't like Christianity; can be nasty; be prepared for that) from a point of view that's actually useful to her. That's an enormous plus: someone who will talk to you as if your religious convictions made you an intelligent person, rather than otherwise. Of course, you can find people like that anywhere, but you can *expect* to find them at a good Catholic college.
And I would think that the colleges that don't have TAC-style Great Books programs would be far more likely to accept dual enrollment credits.
Anyway, I haven't been there/done that -- I am there/doing it, and stressing out about it all more than I'd like to. Ada and I have these college conversations at bedtime, and then neither one of us can sleep!
Drinking LOTS of Tension-Tamer tea around here,
Sally
__________________
Castle in the Sea
Abandon Hopefully
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
LisaR
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2226
|
| Posted: Jan 28 2010 at 11:10pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Sally, we visited Belmont and really enjoyed ourselves, sadly it was over the summer though and ds is hoping to find a way back there to visit during school-time!
I'm so grateful for the many terrific options out there for our kids!! 
(although I'll raise a mug of tension -tamer tea to the process all the same!!)
__________________
Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
SallyT
Forum All-Star
Joined: Aug 08 2007
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2489
|
| Posted: Jan 29 2010 at 9:39am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Do let us know if/when you're coming back this way. That goes for anyone else interested in looking at Belmont Abbey and wanting to meet up/a place to stay/whatever.
I was just reading the latest Newman Guide, and I can say for the Abbey that new hires in the last few years really are making a great difference in the direction of the college. Theology (my husband's dept!) is uniformly good and trustworthy. Gerry Malsbary, the one-man Latin/classics machine and also the director of the Freshman Year Seminar, is an absolute prince (he's my daughter's Latin prof, and his generosity to her, and his love for learning illuminated by faith put him in the top rank of educators at this level). The English department has a one-year hire who we all hope is going to be permanent -- the other two profs aren't great, but Al Benthal is a gem.
Philosophy department is not good, alas, and the core curriculum includes several philosophy courses. Anyplace else this would be a great thing; at the Abbey you'd want to steer clear if you could. Sciences I think are generally good -- unusually, maybe, for a smaller liberal-arts college, the Abbey has fairly strong science programs. Political science is very good -- in fact, the best of the philosophy offerings are in political philosophy.
Administration is excellent (Dr. Thierfelder, academic deans, etc), and with Abbot Placid, who's Chancellor, they are a good team doing all they can to promote the college's orthodox identity in the face of some vociferous and ugly opposition on the part of a small contingent of faculty.
Major weakness: the college is rebuilding programs after some bad administrative regimes, and the poor economy has not helped. Instead of hiring more needed faculty and expanding, everyone across the board has taken salary cuts, and the college is in "retrenching" mode instead of building. So offerings in things like art, music, and foreign languages apart from Latin are virtually nil, and that is a problem. What's strong, however, is very strong, and the good faculty are so good, and so committed to the well-being of their students, that if the college has what a given student is looking for in terms of study opportunities, parents would not have to worry about a child's finding support and guidance. It's a very nurturing place, which is one reason my daughter feels loath to leave, even though I'd think she might get sick of being there, since it's been essentially high school to her.
Students are all over the map, by the way, though there's a good core of very serious and faithful Catholic students. The church is formerly gorgeous (still is from the outside; the inside would make you weep). The new Adoration chapel is very lovely, and my daughter and husband both love to drop in to make Holy Hours during the day. We know a number of students, mostly guys, considering vocations of one kind or another (priesthood or monastic life), and the Charlotte Diocese seems to be doing an excellent job of fostering vocations. Our young priests and seminarians are amazing.
I know nobody was asking for a review, but since people are reading the Newman Guide, and some colleges are less "known quantities" than the TACs and Christendoms, I thought I'd offer some gloss on the Newman entry for the Abbey -- in most cases there's at least some discrepancy between what you read and what's actually playing out on the ground. At least some of the colleges which aren't unqualified orthodox jewels do have quite a bit to offer the seriously-Catholic student (while others you might rightly be leery of.). That doesn't answer the problem of cost, of course -- the Abbey for example isn't a bargain-basement special, though there are scholarships available, some of them quite generous. Students in the Honors Institute, for example, can get full tuition remission.
So, there you have it. Of course what I'd really like is for some online friends to come and visit! We can drink some Tension-Tamer together . . .
Sally
__________________
Castle in the Sea
Abandon Hopefully
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
LisaR
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2226
|
| Posted: Jan 29 2010 at 9:50am | IP Logged
|
|
|
SallyT wrote:
| The church is formerly gorgeous (still is from the outside; the inside would make you weep). The new Adoration chapel is very lovely,Sally |
|
|
Yes!!! dh and I both went "oh!!, and then ohhhhhhhhh" as we went from the exterior to interior of the Church. same thing with benedictine- what were they thinking??
the Adoration Chapel is a gem. and so close to the dorms! much easier to get to than Steubenvilles....
The President of Belmont is really homeschooling/big family friendly, right??
We have a good homeschool friend from here who got a Presidential scholarship- she is a freshman in that Honors or Classics track? She was discerning Catholic U and Mount St. Mary's and said there was no comparison!!!
__________________
Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
SusanJ
Forum All-Star
Joined: May 25 2007
Location: New Jersey
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1347
|
| Posted: Jan 29 2010 at 10:17am | IP Logged
|
|
|
I don't have any experience of sending my own children to college yet but dh and I worked for several years in college ministry and he is now a college professor so I wanted to offer an additional resource and a point for consideration.
First, I posted early last fall about The ISI College Guide. This isn't an explicitly Catholic guide but more a guide to where you can get a good education--probably the sort of education many of you have been trying to provide in your homes already. There are so many schools out there that might seem mediocre in some respects but might have fantastic professors--and a community around them--in a particular field.
I also wanted to point out that if your child is looking for good Catholic community but a small, private school is not an option, I would seriously consider looking at BIG schools. The bigger the school, the more types of people you will have on campus. Of course this means that there will be more people hostile to the faith but there will also be the critical mass of people necessary to form lots of clubs and small groups. You can look at a big school as a huge, anonymous entity where a previously-sheltered freshman will be completely lost or you can look at it as a place where everyone finds his or her niche and really invests. At any school--large or small--your child is probably going to spend most of his or her time with a core group of friends. At a huge school you will be almost certain (but do check in advance) to find a fantastic Catholic community on campus.
This same idea goes for a less-solid Catholic schools. My husband teaches at one of the oldest Catholic schools in the country. There are debates raging on campus as we speak about the Catholic identity as they search for a new president. The people in charge of this decision are definitely on the right track. The school is improving. In the meantime, the students themselves do vary widely and it could sometimes feel like real mission territory. But there are two fantastic Catholic ministry groups--Saint Paul's Outreach and FOCUS--on campus. These groups are serious about community. If anyone wants to visit Seton Hall, please let me know and we will show you around! But, more, I bring up this example as a way to encourage you to take a second look at any of the "historically Catholic" schools that are close to home. Some are truly awful but many are turning around.
__________________
Mom to Joseph-8, Margaret-6, William-4, Gregory-2, and new little one due 11/1
Life Together
[URL=http://thejohnstonkids.blogspot.com]The Kids' Blog[/UR
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Angie Mc
Board Moderator
Joined: Jan 31 2005
Location: Arizona
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 11400
|
| Posted: Jan 29 2010 at 11:23am | IP Logged
|
|
|
SusanJ wrote:
| I also wanted to point out that if your child is looking for good Catholic community but a small, private school is not an option, I would seriously consider looking at BIG schools. ...you can look at it as a place where everyone finds his or her niche and really invests. |
|
|
Great point...and what we're banking on! We know first hand about the wonderful Catholic community opportunities at the big U. where my dd will go - not only affiliated with the school itself, but offered through the town/parishes and diocese  . Parallel to this is that many large Universities have smaller "schools" within them, including Honors schools and specialty schools. This, too, will be my dd's route.
Love,
__________________
Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
About Me
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Tonya
Forum Rookie
Joined: March 27 2008
Location: Pennsylvania
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 81
|
| Posted: Jan 29 2010 at 1:29pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
This is such a difficult and personal topic. I have gone through this decision twice already and am going though it again this year with another senior. With my oldest daughter, our family felt VERY pressured to send her to a Catholic school. She attended Franciscan (if fact she works there now as an admissions counselor!). She loved it and it was perfect for her. She was able to keep her debt down by working and graduating in 3 years due to post-secondary credits and lots of hard work. However, I have seen many of her friends graduate with over $80,000 in debt. These are girls that want to get married and have families. I don't know how you can ever overcome that debt. And what if you marry someone that has that much debt, also?
My second daughter wanted to study piano performance (not a very lucractive degree!). She received a full ride to West Virginia University with her academic and music scholarships. After much prayer, that is where she decided to attend. Our family was given much grief and told that she would be in many of our friend's prayers. Those prayers must be working because she has gotten one B in almost 3 years (the rest A's), plays for Mass, in involved in the Newmann Center, is starting to play for Festival of Praises, and does Meals on Wheels. It has definitely not been a perfect situation but our daughter is strong and I have no doubt that she has been Apostolic.
Now our oldest son is a senior and he wants to major in biomedical engineering. He has been accepted to Case Western, Penn State, Pitt, and we are waiting for a few more schools. He is waiting to find out where he gets the most scholarship money with the best academic program. The Catholic schools that are truly Catholic do not have the majors to match his interests. I pray everyday that God will put him where he needs to be. He is very grounded in the faith, going to weekly adoration and confession on his own accord. He teaches confirmation CCD to 8th graders and he is active in our youth group. I have to have faith that he is formed well enough to continue down this path.
I will have three more boys after this year. I honestly don't know what kind of school they will be going to. I just need to keep praying that God will lead them to where they need to be.
This is very rambling but I think this is a topic that needs to be decided within your family. In our case, it has had to be determined child by child. I think that with prayer, things always manage to work out.
Tonya
__________________
Tonya
Mom to 2 daughters (24 and 21), 4 sons (19, 15, 12, 12), and 3 in heaven
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
LisaR
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2226
|
| Posted: Jan 29 2010 at 4:19pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Tonya wrote:
. However, I have seen many of her friends graduate with over $80,000 in debt. These are girls that want to get married and have families. I don't know how you can ever overcome that debt. And what if you marry someone that has that much debt, also?
|
|
|
Dh and I both had to pay our way through Steubenville, and he had to pay for his Master's there as well, all to get a Ministry job! He's worked for a mega-Parish, and now for a Catholic Diocese.
We actually got married after our Jr year- we realized we'd save money by becoming residents of OH and moving off campus together (combining households,  ) - and we had our ds 12.5 mo. later, jsut as dh started his MA full time and worked 30 hr per week as well.
We've never had any family help on either side, and yes, have had to get Gov't health care on two occasions, and WIC for a few years, but I would NOT trade our debt for anything.
The odds are usually that things won't be as "bad" for most people as they are/were for us, and we've been told for years, even when we were in our early to mid 20's , how mature financially we were.
We really credit this to our having debt and not having any wiggle room, ever.
If saying "no" to things and pleasures becomes a habit early on out of necessity, then it really becomes (usually!) a beautiful lifestyle that you embrace as your family and needs grow.
I do however, see that these wonderful smaller authentic Catholic colleges do not provide all things for all people, with regards to educational interests.
My ds's sure wish there was a super-strong engineering or business school out there at one of these schools!
__________________
Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
SallyT
Forum All-Star
Joined: Aug 08 2007
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2489
|
| Posted: Jan 29 2010 at 7:49pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Lisa: Yes, Dr. Thierfelder is the homeschooling father of 10, and there are many homeschoolers among the faculty and staff. Homeschoolers from orthodox Catholic families are definitely a demographic the college would like to court. Dr. Lucas LaMadrid, who oversees admissions, is brilliant to talk to -- in fact, we're going in to talk to him soon about how best to apply for the Honors Institute (what would make a student's application look especially strong, etc.). Whatever I learn, I'll gladly share here.
What's your friend's name? (you can pm me if you don't want to give names in a forum; and you don't have to at all; I'm just idly curious). My husband teaches in the freshman year seminar -- it would be funny if she'd been in his group in the fall.
Tonya's point about debt and marriage is a good one, and one I've been thinking about in the course of this conversation. We had a young man living with us last summer, a former student of my husband's and friend to our whole family who is doing some serious vocational discernment. Somehow one night we got onto the topic of girls, college, and debt, and he said to me essentially what Tonya just said, from the point of view of a young man still open to the possibility of being called to the married state.
A large debt load can be a serious obstacle to a call to the religious life, too -- I've heard several stories lately about young women doing various kinds of extreme fundraisers to pay off their school debt so that they could enter religious communities. My child who's currently considering colleges wants to be wife and mother (or possibly a nun; hasn't ruled that out) and/or a Latin teacher. As life work goes, all these things are of incalculable value, but none of them is the kind of job/calling that's going to pay off massive school debt, and might actually be hobbled by it. It would be -- well, not all that useful -- to get an education which, by its very cost, would actually hinder someone from doing what she's called to do with her life.
Serious considerations all around . . . time to go read to the little kids and NOT think about college!
Sally
__________________
Castle in the Sea
Abandon Hopefully
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Mary G
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5790
|
| Posted: Jan 29 2010 at 7:54pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Sally -- your dh should be proud ... Belmont has come so far from what it was 10 years ago! We have dear friends whose two sons are down there and they love it! The older was going and his brother, a year younger, realized he had enough credits so graduated early and headed off with his brother (they're even rooming together). I know the whole family is impressed with Belmont!
Ave is proving a great fit for my 18yod ...
But as others have pointed out ... each student needs to figure out God's will and where they need to "bloom" ... each is so different and God has such different tracks for each ... even within the same family.
Turn it over and pray ... God will show you what should happen ....
__________________
MaryG
3 boys (22, 12, 8)2 girls (20, 11)
my website that combines my schooling, hand-knits work, writing and everything else in one spot!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Angel
Forum All-Star
Joined: April 22 2006
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2293
|
| Posted: Jan 30 2010 at 1:14pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I am basically lurking through this discussion and soaking everything up... but I thought I would throw in a couple of books I recently picked up by Loren Pope:
Colleges That Change Lives (Mentioned in the Millman's book)
Looking Beyond the Ivy Leage: Finding the College that's Right for You
My dh and I haven't finished reading them yet, but spent a nice long breakfast this morning trading bits and pieces from each across the table. Unfortunately, not a single Catholic college is listed... but these books are certainly giving me a lot to think about and putting a lot of fears to rest, about getting into college *and* about finances. Colleges That Change Lives has a very brief (very brief) section directed to homeschoolers, which mentions that all 40 of the schools listed welcome applications from homeschoolers and tells what they are looking for. Almost all the colleges listed are non-selective but provide quite a bit of financial aid. In Looking Beyond the Ivy League, Pope works on dismissing 20 "myths" about applying to college.
Anyway -- I'm finding them to be an informative read so far.
__________________
Angela
Mom to 9, 7 boys and 2 girls
Three Plus Two
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Angel
Forum All-Star
Joined: April 22 2006
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2293
|
| Posted: Feb 01 2010 at 7:14am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Just coming in to add a few notes to my book recs above, now that I have read more...
Colleges That Change Lives would be a good starting point if none of the Catholic colleges really support the interests of your dc (say, in music or some of the sciences or whatever). But you do have to deal with the author's biases, which seem to be heavily involved in choosing which colleges make the list. The only really religious school that made the list was Wheaton, an evangelical Christian school. There are no Catholic schools of any sort. Also, I think he tends to go for the more liberal schools over the more conservative ones. So... just an FYI. It's a starting point for a lot more research. *But*... his point that you don't have to go into a lot of debt or break your back trying to get into more prestigious schools in order to attend a decent college is well-taken; according to him, it's more about achieving a good fit between student and college, not paying attention to the standard, received knowledge which may be erroneous, and doing a lot of "consumer research" into the colleges themselves.
Looking Beyond the Ivy League goes into more detail about the process... but I would not just hand this book to a 9th grader because there is a somewhat explicit reprint of an article from Oberlin's newspaper in the middle of the book. It's supposed to be a parody on the differences between Oberlin and Williams, but... what it made me think was, "I'm not sending my child to Oberlin!" Anyway, I think you have to take what you can from these books, realize the author's biases, and leave the rest.
__________________
Angela
Mom to 9, 7 boys and 2 girls
Three Plus Two
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Angie Mc
Board Moderator
Joined: Jan 31 2005
Location: Arizona
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 11400
|
| Posted: Feb 02 2010 at 3:01pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Angel wrote:
*But*... his point that you don't have to go into a lot of debt or break your back trying to get into more prestigious schools in order to attend a decent college is well-taken; according to him, it's more about achieving a good fit between student and college, not paying attention to the standard, received knowledge which may be erroneous, and doing a lot of "consumer research" into the colleges themselves.
|
|
|
Thanks for your thoughts on these books, Angela. I think "not paying attention to the standard" is key in that "the standard" has been changing since ~ the 60's and is changing rapidly. It's not just about where to go to college but also when to go to college...how long to take...how to finance...etc. Going to college in the 80's/90's I was told "facts" about going to college that were based on a 50's mentality and so much of it proved untrue for me personally and for many, many of my peers. Too many. Honestly, I'm baffled that some of these myths persist. It just isn't about getting into "the best" school (ie. Ivy League/expensive) you can with the assumption that the costs of it can be paid via the "great job" you will get upon graduation. It isn't just about finding a Catholic school by name because there are differing degrees to how schools adhere to Catholic teachings. Options are more varied...more to sift through.
Love,
__________________
Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
About Me
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Nina Murphy
Forum All-Star
Joined: May 18 2006
Location: California
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1546
|
| Posted: Feb 02 2010 at 11:59pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
We have one at a secular state school, and one at an orthodox college college. The individual drove the choice in both cases. I see the hand of God in both, as well.
----------------------------------------------------
I would like to put in a word re. the incurring of debt:
Looking at this from the get-go, we told him.... we KNEW: we will not be able to do this without massive help. Without your working hard. Without student loans. We felt at each moment the impossibility for being able to make it happen for him. So, we put it's impossibility into God's hands and waited to see what would happen. We told him, we will know pretty clearly if this is God's Will, or not. We did our best to hope and pray, to fill out the forms, prepared him for the worst, and waited.
We got an incredible package.
Yes, he will have loans to repay, and they help them figure it all out and how to view their lives, and their futures, but without dread or fear. They teach them to save, to value every little thing, to see the sacrifice in giving up a weekly latte, to apply a little here and there to their school efforts, and to the overall goal of investment in such a worthwhile endeavor as a classical liberal arts education, and to be part of such a special place for this short time in their lives.
Amazingly, we are not *worried* about the future. We discussed it all with him, and he was hopeful, he suspected, that it was worth applying himself to, and trying. He is now +sure+ it is worth....... everything.
I didn't know how he would take to it, but in a short time, I am absolutely, profoundly moved (sometimes to tears of gratitude) by the growth I have seen in him, and his deep joy being there. He truly feels like he belongs, like he is "home". There is no price tag you can put on that. It is my hope and prayer that he is forging relationships that will endure with people who are in love with the Faith and with the pursuit of all that is true, good, and beautiful--- and that those memories will inspire him his entire life.
Years ago I would have said that we had no interest in pursuing this path, that it was "beyond" us. But God's ways are not our ways....
---------------
This is a deeply personal decision. There are many places God wants our children to go, to learn, to serve, to grow. There are many places where He can use us to do His work if we are docile, if we are open. Discerning that is the hard part sometimes.
I wish my daughter had more Catholic and Christian friends and teachers at school that she looked up to, but who knows how God is using this sweet, placid soul exactly where she is. And it's not all about her! ----- Also, one of the benefits to being at home is retaining local friendships that have been formed in our Catholic homeschooling community and being able to stay participatory in the parish life.
Bottom line: we just have to hold our kids in prayer constantly. We have to give them over to Our Lady and commend them into her arms, that they will be *safe* wherever they are, and trust that she will take care of them and that the Holy Spirit will guide them. We don't have that much control.....
Family, Be Who YOU are!
__________________
God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Angie Mc
Board Moderator
Joined: Jan 31 2005
Location: Arizona
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 11400
|
| Posted: Feb 04 2010 at 11:34am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Nina Murphy wrote:
There are many places where He can use us to do His work if we are docile, if we are open. Discerning that is the hard part sometimes.
|
|
|
Being docile is hard, too! At least for some me. It really is a privilege to watch it all unfold, isn't it?
Love,
__________________
Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
About Me
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
ALmom
Forum All-Star
Joined: May 18 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3299
|
| Posted: Feb 05 2010 at 12:38am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Nina and Angie:
Ditto.
Being docile is so hard for me - part of that stretching. I liked it when the children thought everything that came from my mouth was the eptiomy of absolute fact and wisdom. I liked them wanting to be with me all the time (well most of the time). I was just reminded today of what it was like when everyone was under a certain age as youngest ds told oldest dd to ask mom what aminals are in Kansas - I'd know. Then he proceeded to tell her I was on the line - just ask me  . Unfortunately, I haven't a clue what aminals are unique to Kansas - but at least the conversation shifted to something else so I didn't have to spoil his "mom knows everything" view just yet. I liked it when everything was simple and uncomplicated and a kiss to a booboo cured all woes.
I got used to the fact that the two oldest are not likely to go to Catholic colleges (oldest is graduating this year from a secular college and off to probably a secular graduate school) - God really is in the discernment for these and like Nina some of the discernment is where God opens and closes the doors. He also gives mom and dad great peace, too. At some point you just know.
Now it has become - dd isn't going to any 4 year college - she is more likely to go to a fire college. I am full of a myriad of questions and concerns. (Anyone with firefighting in the family who would like to PM me about what things I should be sure to make sure is considered, I'd be very grateful). Then I have to step away a bit and remind myself that while I should ask important questions and be a part of the guiding process - this is discernment dd must make about her own future and where God is leading her. I know she is praying about it - stops daily at the adoration chapel to and from the fire house.
I hope I'm at least developing a sense of humor about all this (something I do not have naturally). I am certainly being challenged to pray for the children and myself in this whole thing and trying to remember that God has always taken care of and guided these children of ours - and He will continue to do so. While we do our part in making sure they consider all the facts, we do have to trust.
Who said being a mom was dull and monotonous? I could use a little dull and monotonous for a while.
Janet
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Maggie
Forum All-Star
Joined: Dec 01 2007
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 712
|
| Posted: Feb 05 2010 at 2:34pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I have to say "ditto" to those who attended a private, costly university--BUT--through scholarship and fin. aid, it cost me less to go there than it did for me to go to a state school. I also worked throughout college and was an RA, which helped a lot.
Also, there are some outstanding state and private universities that have superb campus ministry. For example, the Brotherhood of Hope is at Florida State University, Rutgers University, and Boston University. I attended BU myself, and though it is not Catholic, I can honestly say that the Bhood was a HUGE instrument of grace and cooperated with the Holy Spirit to "save my soul." Truly. There are some really excellent campus ministries out there done by NET and other organizations, too...so check that out as an option as well.
__________________
Wife to dh (12 years) Mama to dd (10) ds (8), dd (1), ds (nb) and to Philip Mary (5/26/09), Lucy Joy (12/6/09), and Margaret Mary (3/6/10) who entered Heaven before we had a chance to hold them.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
|
|
4Real Forums : High School Years and Beyond
Topic: The Catholic College dilemma?
