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ALmom
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Tracy I loved your description of the on your knees. And the other mom who is suddenly revamping lesson plans and the comment about thinking that after 15 years you'd think the panic would pass.
I could ditto all of that. This year is different for us in a lot of ways because our oldest is off to college and we had all those adjustments this summer. I also felt extra unprepared for the year - but we started as we always did on August 8 (southern schools start earlier - we actually started after the public schools by a few days. We always take the Holy Days off - so we knew we'd have a mini vacation if we could just wing it for a week or two. But with all the differences, a few things are the same - and the most obvious is the panic, feeling unprepared and wondering if we will make it through the year.
I had only just received many of my curriculum orders so had not had time to go through it and plan as I wanted (typical problem). I did weave some of the theology, history and lit we planned - about 2 weeks worth and as is inevitable we are already "behind" by several weeks with our high schooler and I feel clueless where everyone else is - except that they all think they are all content, feel like they are finishing what they are supposed to, etc. and still having time to do what they want. Well, the 12 yo had a few meltdowns stressing over co-op (this is new) stuff but was Ok once we explained how to do a lab report (sort of - ie it doesn't matter if what you saw isn't identical to what was posted on the web). I sound terribly disorganized - and feel it.
After overwhelming panic, I have finally let go and realized that we've done this same panic routine before and that my plans are not locked in concrete - they give us a sequence. I will plug away at staying on top of things - but trust dc to also ask questions. I don't have to control every second - just have guidance, materials and point them in a direction or assist with finding information or answers - plus spot checking that we are not leaving major gaps.
I also have a different child now (the older one raced too fast through stuff for me and I never could review her papers or help her improve, etc. I remember thinking homeschooling wouldn't be so bad if she would just slow down and let me review some papers, etc. Well - this child is a plodder - going deep into one or two things at a time, so she is totally immersed in Biology and Latin at the moment, while ignoring Algebra entirely and doing only very token things with theology, literature and history. If she weren't in high school, I probably wouldn't panic - but you cannot very well move a child from 9th to 10th with 2 credits.
I'm already finding myself wondering if this child realizes that she is going to be stuck with some really heavy reading if she doesn't get cracking. (Ie I'm panicking because this child isn't going at my pace either). Then we talked and I realized that this is how this dc works, though I did remind her of the things we will be tackling so that she is realistic in her pacing. (or at least isn't unprepared for the consequences if not). Yet, the panic will suddenly seem to almost drown me - I really, really do not want any unfinished business this next summer. I want to just enjoy our oldest dd time home - but geesh we haven't even started the year hardly, and I'm worried about finishing the year!
Then I remember that I am a worrier by nature, we had something similiar happen in 9th grade with our oldest. Actually her transcript looked pretty sorry in 9th because I couldn't give her any science or history credit that year. I hated the year or so where she tried to play catch up (and it was stressful and not the most ideal way to learn material) but she did learn a very valuable lesson. She really did learn to pace herself, plan for her academics and her music. I'm hoping it will pay off this year in college and help her keep her grades up. (I also learned valuable lessons about my own abilities and tendencies, where I need to rely on a textbook as better than nothing at all, etc). I remember both of us laughing when there was a moment of understanding - her piano teacher in her goodbyes told my dd that the first year was on her (the teacher) after that it was my dd's. I looked at dd and said - that is it. I'm sending you off to college and everyone has let you in partially based on our assertion of your transcript - the grades, etc. and whatever you do that first year reflects on our integrity as a homeschool. After that - well the pressure is somehow off. Yet, still, we did make it this far AND our goals in homeschooling were not exclusively academic. It is the academic stuff that stresses me - the other stuff we are doing fine with. The problem is society only has the academic goal and they will weigh our successes or failures only by that and we sometimes get sucked unawares into losing sight of our more important goals and only seeing how our dc may not have had as great an education or as many opportunities (not necessarily true - but there are things we give up in not going to the brick building - some of them gladly, some of them regretfully. In the hardest moments we only see the things we have regretfully given up - the great athletic program and cameraderie of a school team, the extensive foreign language choices taught by someone thouroughly knowledgeable and fluent (most often a native speaker) in the language and all those class mates to practice speaking with, or that great science lab with the latest equipment and someone to get excited about all this when you are lucky if you can only vaguely recall something from your own high school class so long ago (and what you really remember is always being rushed and hating the darn class, so how in the world are you ever going to get enthused enough to inspire another Biology hater that it really is the most fascinating thing to study). Anyways, we tend to forget all those wonderful things we embraced in homeschooling - and all those things we gladly gave up (like memorizing to pass a test- but even that sometimes lookes appealing when you have certain dc and you begin to think it would be better than nothing!)
One of the worst things we do to ourselves as homeschoolers is feel like we have to compete with the absolute best available local school's best student's results in order to "justify" to outsiders that we are competent to homeschool. Problem is - I know in my heart that I am totally unqualified as a teacher in most subjects my dc are studying - but that doesn't matter cause God uses my weakness as long as I ask him and am humble enough to recognize that I'm not an expert in very much - and I'm not the center of this homeschooling venture. We make mistakes and that is OK too - surprise, surprise, we seem to recover (sometimes even learn more) from our mistakes!
I, hopefully, am coming to accept that panic is simply part of the whole temptation that comes with the homeschooling venture. Sometimes it is the humbling realization that we failed in some aspect and somehow or other that mistake is on public display and being used unfairly against you or homeschooling - it is hard to admit the mistake and then move on to correct the problem. Other times it is simply a means of discouraging us from doing the very real thing that God has called us to do and not based on any reality other than that homeschooling is an awesome responsibility and it is never without effort whatever else it is. Why anyone would think you homeschool in order to get out of things is beyond me! In the meantime, I'm not on the computer as much as I am still frantically doing my best to stay on top of what is happening in this crazy school of ours  (after all it is my duty to do my very best to guide and nurture these dc) and fending off or succumbing to the waves of panic depending on the day. We'll probably settle into a routine in a month or two (with intermittant panic days), followed by sheer panic around record checks, a revamping and enjoyment for a while until panic sets in again and we have to fend it off in order to finish the year.
My question to anyone with highschoolers - how do you keep definite start and stop time (I don't mean ceasing learning over the summer, but the sense that we have wrapped up a year and can relax. I seem to slip into the inevitable we have to finish for transcripts mode with the high schoolers - the rest of the crew I can assess, say we need to wrap up this one important thing and we're done. Actually this one thing about homeschooling is what my oldest dd hated the most - is so excited that one way or another with college her year is done at a certain date. I'd like to have something more like that - I think the time of refreshment is needed for mom and students, but this aspect has been perpetually elusive for us. I can not just give credit for work not done and there has to be some sort of standard if this child is planning to submit the transcript for college admission. It would be dishonest if we blithely gave credit. And while my dd is wonderful at learning what she wants, when she wants, at her own pace, there is something to be said for the discipline of doing Algebra every day - even when you'd rather be messing around with something else. I want her to read some of the more challenging works to discuss together as well as all the stuff she picks up on her own. I know there is a proper balance between the sheer joy of learning and the discipline of learning what needs to be done. Finding that balance is part of the panic - unless I ever learn to let go enough.
I will say that my panic is never about officials at my door - it is more being caught up in the perfectionist tendencies I have. Even at record check times, it is not about the record checks themselves but simply that this is a parent-teacher conference time with myself and I'm a perfectionist trying to be more accepting that my dc will not be experts in all things just as I am not. I don't need to panic if some glaring deficiency jumps out at me. It doesn't mean we are failures (though we may have overlooked something important by accident). We simply have something new to work on. My sis and I were laughing at different things we required some of our older dc to do before graduating because something stood out at us a a major deficiency. (dd will not leave high school without knowing the difference between Martin Luther and Martin Luther King Jr., my ds will be able to recite all the days of the month in order). But we run in fear that someone might learn that our homeschooled children are not perfect - we are not professionals so we missed something rather major - but hec one of my test questions in 8th grade was to identify kamikaze. I was in a brick classroom with a professional teacher and said that Kamikaze was a German general in some major campaign in Africa. I waxed rather elequont about some battle in the African campaign with a fictitious General Kamikaze. I will say that after that one test question, I never again forgot what Kamikazes were. Simply because I'd overlooked something didn't mean my teacher or I were failures and no one was even tempted to think so. But if one of ours does something similiar - it is a mantra of see how bad homeschooling is. Others say it to us and we say it to ourselves. And, yes, as major as knowing the days of the month are, it didn't take more than a day to correct the oversight. We survive. Life goes on. I'd rather my dc confuse Martin Luther with Martin Luther King Jr than confuse the difference between right and wrong. Of course, I'd prefer that they were top notch in both areas! It is because I love my dc so much and really care about what they do and learn that I even panic at all - so in one sense panic is a good sign - but we have to do something with it instead of just letting it freeze us.
Well this is a long thinking aloud to myself (rather my own pep talk for me) and wasn't supposed to be this long. Anyways, I guess I'll post it anyways for anyone who cares to plow through it. (It does help me to laugh at myself!)
Janet
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rose gardens
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ALmom wrote:
| I, hopefully, am coming to accept that panic is simply part of the whole temptation that comes with the homeschooling venture. ...Other times it is simply a means of discouraging us from doing the very real thing that God has called us to do and not based on any reality other than that homeschooling is an awesome responsibility and it is never without effort whatever else it is. |
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Very true. The discouragement, dread and panic don't inspire the best homeschooling. Instead those feelings sabotage my efforts to provide a good education for my children. Note I wrote "good" education, not "best". You asked about high-schoolers but I when my oldest reached that age, I didn't feel confident to continue home schooling him. He attends a great private school. I compare my other children's homeschool education to his, (which I think is best academics that money can buy), and my homeschooling falls short. But on the positive side, homeschooling means we can afford to eat  .
I have now moved beyond dread to nervous excitement. I moved the "learning area" out of our formal dining room to a newly finished area of the basement. It's beautiful! I splurged last weekend on a desk, craft table and chairs from Pottery Barn Kids. (I say splurged, but it's still cost less than 10% of private school tuition.) The bookshelves and toys invite my children to learn all that I hope they learn.
In preparing our learning area, I finally opened the boxes of materials I purchased from CHC, By Way of the Family and other various venders at a homeschool conference last spring. Looking through it, I now wonder if I'm "Charlotte Mason" enough for this board. My homeschool style's always been a bit eclectic: a little classical here, a little unit study there, workbook exercises almost daily during the school year like a security blanket for mom, and un-schooling during the summer and following the birth of babies. Now I'm second guessing the material I purchased and the plans I made last spring.
I liked the idea posted earlier on this thread for a theme year, and I came up with a theme for our school year. "Follow His Heart". Dedicating our school year to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, I hope to draw on His courage and charity to guide and support us. I want to remain open to following where He leads the children in their studies. The "heart" theme also seems to naturally peak in mid-February, which always seems to be the roughest month for us.
We "officially" start on Tuesday, September 5th. Heavy sigh. Pray for me, please.
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Tina P.
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| Posted: Aug 31 2006 at 11:02am | IP Logged
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lapazfarm wrote:
I am so excited about this year that I cannot wait to begin (next week! Hooray!)!
That doesn't mean I don't have my worries and doubts, however.
My worries are more about whether I will be able to sustain the excitement, stay focused and get into a routine after a long summer of vegging out, and maintain my energy level in order to do all the wonderful things we really want to do.
I have done this long enough, however, that I know that at first our excitement will carry us through, then comes the stage of being totally overwhelmed when the initial excitement wears off and routines are not yet ingrained, then as we hit our groove it settles out again and we get tons of stuff done. Just in time for Christmas, where we take a break and start all over again! It's the rhythm of the year for us.
Take a deep breath and revisit your reasons for homeschooling. Chances are, you will find confidence and courage as you remember why you are doing this to begin with. |
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I was only going to quote *some* of this post, but so much of it describes me. The only part in which we have not participated is the vegging out during the summer this year. We were moving (from overseas) from February to and including August. We're still finding places to put things. 
But we *did* start school this week. I couldn't wait one more minute!  We're having a blast. I *finally* decided to *not* use CHC for reading (though *I* love the stories, my dc thinks they're a little too goody-goody ~ he much prefers the Encounter the Saints series), history (keeping the history books as backbone, when I need them), or science. It took me years to figure that out. I think some years, particularly when we were in Europe, I just needed to have more step-by-step guidance. I'm so glad to be back in America!
Thank you so much, Theresa, for your last two lines. That'll help me in my "Oh-my-gosh-I'm-overwhelmed" phase.
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Tina, wife to one and mom to 9 + 3 in heaven
Mary's Muse
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Nina Murphy
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Okay---moment of total brutal honesty: TOTAL DREAD.
Seriously, things have just gotten to an "impossible" stage in our lives, with the docs adding several things a day to the kids' treatments. I just don't know HOW to do it all. 
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God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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Tina P.
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| Posted: Aug 31 2006 at 11:49am | IP Logged
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Nina Murphy wrote:
Okay---moment of total brutal honesty: TOTAL DREAD.
Seriously, things have just gotten to an "impossible" stage in our lives, with the docs adding several things a day to the kids' treatments. I just don't know HOW to do it all. |
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Pray for grace. We have been in the same situation in a different way. Between moving three times in four years, we had two children. Figure out thatmath! 
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Tina, wife to one and mom to 9 + 3 in heaven
Mary's Muse
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Nina Murphy
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Thanks, Tina. I know *I* need to be praying more, not keep asking others to pray for me! You sound like an amazing woman for all you've gone through. Moving is one of the most stressful things, imho. And pregnancy....well, for some of us: extremely stressful!
Janet and Tracy, I just read your long posts--- so wonderful for you to share these glimpses of your souls. Thank you so much for taking the time! Believe me, SOMEONE gets comforted when we share so courageously...today it was me (but I'm sure there were many others). Thanks again.
God bless all those who are struggling. May God use our weakness. You have my prayers, all.
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God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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TracyQ
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You're welcome, Nina. And I will be lifting you in prayer, not because you asked, but because I want to!
May God show you glimpses of of the true JOY of homeschooling this year, so that the dread will become a distant memory one day, and the joy and fruits of your sacrifices will remain. 
__________________
Blessings and Peace,
Tracy Q.
wife of Marty for 20 years, mom of 3 wonderful children (1 homeschool graduate, 1 12th grader, and a 9th grader),
 homeschooling in 15th year in Buffalo, NY
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TracyQ
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Janet,
I found myself nodding my head and laughing right along in agreement with you! GREAT insight and SO, so true! Thanks!
__________________
Blessings and Peace,
Tracy Q.
wife of Marty for 20 years, mom of 3 wonderful children (1 homeschool graduate, 1 12th grader, and a 9th grader),
homeschooling in 15th year in Buffalo, NY
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MacBeth
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While I don't question my ability to homeschool, I know I am way better at summer!
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God Bless!
MacBeth in NY
Don's wife since '88; "Mom" to the Fab 4
Nature Study
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cathhomeschool
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MacBeth wrote:
| While I don't question my ability to homeschool, I know I am way better at summer! |
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I love it!
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Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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Willa
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ALmom wrote:
| My question to anyone with highschoolers - how do you keep definite start and stop time (I don't mean ceasing learning over the summer, but the sense that we have wrapped up a year and can relax. I seem to slip into the inevitable we have to finish for transcripts mode with the high schoolers - the rest of the crew I can assess, say we need to wrap up this one important thing and we're done. |
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I do that for high school -- I mean, wrap up and then we're done, even if the work is not finished. I hear you about wanting to be conscientious about transcripts, though. That is a valid concern and I share it.
One way we've gotten around that, I realize, is by me making the subjects challenging enough so that even if we only get 80% through the work it is still comparable to a standard high school class. EG use college textbooks, college-level reading etc.
Another way is by dropping the course for summer break and then continuing it the next year. Some of our high school subjects, like literature and history and religion, are basically several-year units so if we drop it at some point, we can simply pick it up when we resume. If they have logged the time and completed a fair amount of reading and associated work then they will get the credit, even if we only got up to 300 AD instead of 600, or whatever.
Related to this is making 3 credits spread over 4 years, or something similar. My oldest son did this with math and science. In other words, he went through Chemistry and Physics over a period of three years. At intervals he'd read some of the books on MacBeth's science high school list. He got two credits for this and then I used the extra reading to fill out his 9th grade Science credit because that year was a bit thin on science.
I also look for ways to count their self-directed areas as supplements for traditional high school subjects. DS researched intensively on trees for a couple of years, read countless books, studied local dendrology and so on. That gave him some science credit. My daughter is interested in music and sewing and some of her research overlaps into history, etc...
This is exactly the kind of thing I want them to be able to do as adults --- be self-starters and know how to research, sort through material, etc.... so it seems very applicable to high school credits, to me.
Another thing I read about but have not actually done -- used certain middle school classes for high school credit. Of course, this has to be done fairly. If my 8th grader is already on high school algebra, though, it seems fair to give him a high-school level credit if he completes the course. If he is studying Latin at a middle school pace but using a high school book, I can give him a highschool half-credit, etc.
Just some ideas.... there are also co-ops, dual-credit highschool/college classes .... we have not used those because of our location.
Our start time is definite ... our stop time is variable and my highschoolers usually DO have a couple of subjects to work on during the summer -- usually Math is one of them -- but they don't keep going with the full courseload all summer.
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AMDG
Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
Take Up and Read
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Willa
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It's funny, I have never really worried much about the academic side of homeschooling.
I used to somewhat dislike the start of the school year because it meant seeing my beautiful lesson plans fizzle in the light of reality -- balky or dawdling kids, life events, my inattentiveness, etc. Or because of the sheer drain on my energy and logstical abilities, especially when there was a lot of medical things going on (I am praying for you, Nina...). I knew we'd survive and the kids would learn and I'd be humbled and challenged, which is always a good thing I suppose.
But what really keeps me awake at night operates in the summer too -- the challenges of preparing a child to be "in the world but not of it" -- ready to work and take part in society without being assimilated into it or crunched up by it. Boy, does that make me sound paranoid and fearful but I do believe it's a real challenge and there's no scope and sequence, textbook or proven method for it. If there was it would seem so much easier to me.
Most homeschoolers seem to naturally be able to find opportunities for their kids to gain work experience, find community resources, and so on. For me it seems very difficult and the fact that we live way off the beaten track with limited transportation and immunesuppressed child makes it even harder. Apparently, my mind doesn't work that way and once again, there is no book to help me through it. It doesn't seem to be an issue to most people I know.
In that way, I would feel SO much more comfortable if my kids went to school and just got to take advantages of opportunities presented, rather than constantly having to hunt and be on the lookout and improvise and wonder how they are going to fare out in the "real world". So stressful.
Honestly, that part of it is a constant discouragement to me. If that wasn't there, homeschool would be almost too much fun, I suppose. We just love to potter around doing our little projects and many of them have more than incidental intellectual and creative value. But the kids will have to make their own lives and families as they get older and that is something that takes preparation and an ability to find opportunities outside the home walls. That's all a bit off track but it makes me feel a little better to vent. --- sorry 
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Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
Take Up and Read
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Cay Gibson
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Willa,
I'm so glad you "vented" to us. 
We've had our own little issues in this realm this past week and it almost brings me to tears. But I keep telling myself that He is in control, let His will be done.
Still, my happy little world within these "home walls" just does not meet up to what's out there in the "great big world." 
__________________
Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
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time4tea
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WJFR wrote:
In that way, I would feel SO much more comfortable if my kids went to school and just got to take advantages of opportunities presented, rather than constantly having to hunt and be on the lookout and improvise and wonder how they are going to fare out in the "real world". So stressful.
Honestly, that part of it is a constant discouragement to me. If that wasn't there, homeschool would be almost too much fun |
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Willa,
I can so relate to what you are saying here! I have struggled with these feelings and thoughts from the very beginning of our homeschooling journey, and it is so hard sometimes. Thank you for sharing your experience here - I am glad to know I am not alone....
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Blessings to you!
~Tea
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Willa,
THANK YOU!!!
Cay,
That has been a source of concern and discouragement for me as well: what we are so trying to teach them is right living just doesn't seem to "meet up to what's out there in the 'great big world'" in practicality... OR relationally.
But at least we can keep on reading our beautiful books and spending wonderful loving moments together----happy memories are so important!
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Nina Murphy
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Yes, that was me above.
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God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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momwise
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Nina Murphy wrote:
| Yes, that was me above. |
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Ahhhhhh...sooner or later I know I'll get all of the moms from the teen forum figured out (which dc they belong to I mean)--I've already posted under my dc's names so many times I don't possibly think I could mess up again.
Willa,
You have so many wise ideas in your post and I've rolled around a few of them but it's just so good to be reminded again and again. I give credit also for work done over 3-4 yrs., etc. One of my favorite lines in The HIgh School of Your Dreams is the admission that hard work editing a newsletter (which my dd has spent many hours on over the years) deserves every bit of credit that is given to a public school journalism student who may receive credit for visiting with her neighbor, polishing her nails, texting her friends and occasionally doing a journalism assignment. I wholeheartedly agree with this idea and have told both my high schoolers we will be logging every minute of everything!!
My dread comes from the realization that we must learn math and not only that, we are way behind in written work and not ready for the SAT, which dd would have preferred to take this year. I have already gotten 2 older boys only part way through high school and although it's due to their choices, I don't know if I can get a student through high school and into college. I feel like all the fun and real learning is just being sapped out of me by the prospect of being responsible for high school math......sigh.
My prayers are constant and I don't doubt the answers will come. But they're coming so slowly and piecemeal; whoever said they're on their knees I can relate. And then there's the prospect of ignoring the 6yo ds for yet another year because he doesn't "officially" need any academics.
OTOH, getting up in the morning and remembering to rely totally on God and put all the dc in our Blessed Mother's care for the day is really what it's all about. My main prayer is that I will obey. Thanks be to God for all of you and your support.
__________________
Gwen...wife for 30 years, mom of 7, grandma of 3.....
"If you want equal justice for all and true freedom and lasting peace, then America, defend life." JPII
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: as the new school year approaches
