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Bookswithtea
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| Posted: Oct 17 2006 at 9:19pm | IP Logged
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Awww, Cay...don't apologize. I feel the Holy Spirit speaking to me as I read your post.
The truth is that I completely agree with all you said about hard work, getting outside, raising well rounded individuals and not just "well educated" people. My own dh supports our family and does not have a college degree. I grew up in a "college is the only way" kind of family and am soooooooo susceptible to that line of thinking, but I've watched the members of dh's family do just fine, working their way up the ladder in trades. Ds doesn't know what he wants to do, but the things he's mentioned over the years are things like contracting. He has NO desire to go to college. But he's only 13, so I always think that might change.
Tonight, while I was having a major crisis/hormonal fit over all my anxieties regarding ds and high school, it suddenly dawns on me...if a child truly wants to go to 4 yr. university, then they will do what it takes to get there. But these days, they have to really really WANT it. And ds doesn't. If he changes his mind over the years, then he can back track and work harder. But I cannot continue to try to drag him through curriculum, reminding him every 30 minutes to do the next thing. I am beginning to hate the sound of my OWN voice, so I can only imagine how ds feels about it.  I told him that its not even fair to him, because half of his grade is *my* doing by making sure that its all getting done!
I clearly need to pray more and listen more, and talk less, in dealing with ds.
And I think maybe ds needs more balance in his life. I am not drawn to unschooling as much as I am to the Moore method, where the child has 1/3 academics, 1/3 hard labor, and 1/3 work/service opportunities. I have always struggled to make it work, though.
Anyway, I'm just rambling now, but I so appreciate you sharing your thoughts. Thank you.
__________________
Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and  due 9/10
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Cay Gibson
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Joined: July 16 2005
Location: Louisiana
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| Posted: Oct 17 2006 at 9:30pm | IP Logged
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MacBeth wrote:
Cay, that's the longest post I have ever seen you write!  |
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Ridiculous, isn't it.
That's because I was trying to incorporate two other threads (concerning college and the my friend's son's experience with getting into the priesthood) in that one post.
Just not possible...
I'm leaving this Thursday so they'll have to wait. Unless you care to open a thread on college and trade and share your thoughts, MacBeth or Books. 
Now, back to the regularly scheduled topic. 
__________________
Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
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Bookswithtea
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| Posted: Oct 17 2006 at 9:36pm | IP Logged
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teachingmyown wrote:
Academically, he is struggling. I never pushed him hard enough in elementary school and public high school was a joke. Now he is doing Seton and failing. Not that he can't do it, he can if he wants to. But he will not give it the full attention it needs. His latest excuse is that he is not smart enough and I just say he is smart because that is what mothers are supposed to say!
It doesn't help that I find Seton dreadfully dull!  I am busy reading TJEd articles and unschooling books, while pushing him to do work that in my heart I wish he didn't have to do. I wish that I could light a fire under him that would make him want an interesting, well-rounded education rather than force him to fill his brain only to empty it back onto the test. But I need to be realistic...
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Molly, I signed up ds for 3 Seton courses this fall (8th grade), and I don't like it, either. I thought that the order would be good for all of us, but instead, I am amazed at the amount of busy work in the program. And I hate how hard it is to try to keep up with their scheduling, even with cutting unnecessary assignments. I joined a loop of Seton users. From reading regularly I have learned a few things. Most people using this program are fully aware that Seton's intention is to match a Prep. school kind of education. I knew it was college preperatory, but to match the finest prep schools in the nation???? I didn't know that, and knowing that might have made a difference when it came time to sign up. The goals these families have are so different from the goals we have always had for our children. Its not that one is bad and the other is good...its just different.
Second guessing can be dangerous, yes...but sometimes we also have to cut our losses and make a quick decision to make some changes. If he is honestly feeling like he's just dumb because he can't do it...that would concern me. I have made a point of sharing with ds what I think is dumb and how I would do it differently, because I want him to know I am on *his* side, and that no program can define him.
Does he see himself as a college prep student, or is he more a community college/trade school kind of student? I've been looking at other programs that will still certify that our work is valid and give us a transcript, but that will also allow us the freedom to choose the materials and how they will be evaluated. I do think its a motivator for ds to know that someone else is looking at his work (it feels more real to him), but I want him to feel successful, too. Kolbe has 3 different diploma options and 2 of them allow the family the option of completely designing the course of study. NARS will allow that, too. I haven't made any decisions yet, though. I want to finish at least one quarter of the Seton stuff before we reevaluate.
Don't know if any of this helps...
__________________
Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and due 9/10
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4Real Forums : High School Years and Beyond
Topic: Other high school programs?
