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MarilynW
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| Posted: June 04 2014 at 6:03pm | IP Logged
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I have seen the necessity of the daily schedule and accountability over the last few weeks when there have been many (out of my control) things that have made me less committed to clear expectations and accountability. And the result has been frustration and irritability.
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Marilyn
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MarilynW
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| Posted: June 04 2014 at 6:05pm | IP Logged
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Serial posting here. My proclick is just a life saver. Like Lindsay I do not like papers everywhere. Some of my kids are somewhat challenged when it comes to hole punching and filing. The proclick means that everyone has nice books with everything in one place.
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Marilyn
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KackyK
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| Posted: June 04 2014 at 9:16pm | IP Logged
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The best new thing we have done this year is using the Homeschool Helper app. I enter the high schoolers work each week, print it off and hand it to them. Sometimes I do well about checking each day, but sometimes I fall behind. The very nature of it though forces me to check the next week when I set up the next group of assignments. It also let's me keep track of grades and book lists and field trips...I love this app!
So although it doesn't keep them on better track, it has helped me to help them better....if that makes sense 
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KackyK
Mom to 8 - 3 dd, 5ds & 4 babes in heaven
Beginning With the Assumption
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Becky Parker
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| Posted: June 06 2014 at 6:32am | IP Logged
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Mackfam wrote:
When my son comes to me and asks to do "x", I can say, "Sure - I'll just need to check your lesson plans to make sure your work is done." Now the burden is on the child to complete the work, and he knows the expectations.
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Every morning when he begins, he makes a stack of all his books for the day. You mentioned this as one of your strategies, Becky, so I wanted to mention that my son has been doing this for a couple of years now and it makes a difference to him. It means that he can grab his books and read in another room if needed, and that he (and I) can see at a glance what he has left to work on. (Still working on the habit of returning books neatly to the shelf...but that's a different topic altogether isn't it? This kid is a stacker...NOT...a shelver!  ). Oh...and several books for his schedule are on the iPad. For that, I make a card stock marker (about 4x6) that just stays on his shelf, and it lists a sort of term schedule on it of pages to be read for that book. This gives him something tangible to grab and put in his stack, and it also serves as his checklist for the book's reading for the term.
It is his responsibility to bring me the checklist and we review it together at the end of each day. It's his responsibility to find me for narrations. It's his responsibility to put math work on my desk to be checked.
We meet together and review expected work at the beginning of a term, and at the end of every week (using the lesson plan checklist). He lets me know if there are challenges, difficulties, etc. We brainstorm to see if these are legit or things one simply has to "buckle up buttercup" and do. Not rocket science. It's easy to figure out, and my own style is just to call it like I see it so...no big word-fest there.
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This is exactly what I am envisioning Jen! I've started working on a checksheet that I can use to keep track. As HE brings me the work, I can check it off my sheet so that when he asks for screen time, I will know at a glance if my answer is yes or no.
I'm not able to post a picture of it here, but on my checklist I've made columns for each subject plus columns for narrations, chores, "reverence during prayer" (something, I'm sorry to say, this ds needs to work on), and Masterly Inactivity (also something I want all my kids to work on. It's amazing to me how the screen time controls them. When I take screens away completely they become so creative, but when they are part of our day, all they do is wait around for their "turn" Very frustrating, but a whole nother topic!).
I have a clipboard that I keep in a central location that I will keep the sheet on and my plan is to just check the items off as he brings them to me. It should work because it should take only a moment of my time, but we'll see!
I like Mary's comment: "I think parenting boils down to us being more stubborn than our children!" Something I need to work on is developing stubborn-ness! Never thought I would say that one! 
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Becky
Wife to Wes, Mom to 6 wonderful kids on Earth and 4 in Heaven!
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Becky Parker
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| Posted: June 06 2014 at 6:54am | IP Logged
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SallyT wrote:
I'll be 50 this fall, and I too so often feel that I'm losing whatever order my mind ever had! We should pray for each other.
Sally |
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Absolutely! 
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Becky
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Becky Parker
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| Posted: June 06 2014 at 7:48am | IP Logged
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MarilynW wrote:
| I have seen the necessity of the daily schedule and accountability over the last few weeks when there have been many (out of my control) things that have made me less committed to clear expectations and accountability. And the result has been frustration and irritability. |
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Talk about serial posting!
I think if I did a search of all of my posts from this year it would be a very depressing read! Don't do it! It's just been a tough year with my mom's health failing and my frequent trips to stay with her. The emotional drain that this has caused, even leading to some physical issues like heart problems has really zapped me of any energy left for "clear expectations and accountability". I guess I should have expected some issues with the kids, and I'm thankful because it could have been worse. I am learning to rely more deeply on Mary for her intercession and guidance. I know that with more attention to prayer and a deeper spiritual life, as well as decluttering both physically and mentally, our home life will be more peaceful. It's just the getting there that is requiring a huge amount of diligence. I feel like the "Little Engine that Could" "I think I can, I think I can ..." ! Getting a schedule back in place, and using a check sheet for accountability, plus having my husband play an active role in all of this has me feeling very optimistic.
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Becky
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Academy Of The Good Shepherd
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Becky Parker
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| Posted: June 06 2014 at 8:09am | IP Logged
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So, putting this all together...
I have a checksheet I am going to use that will help me keep track of my kid's completed (and not completed) work. The habit that they must be responsible and bring their work to me so that I don't have to go looking for it will be one of the first habits we will work on.
I'm going to make a check sheet for my dd too. This year I think I trusted too much that she would do her work (9th grade), and for the first half of the year she did. But then the second semester hit and she dropped the ball, and so did I. A checklist will help her to be accountable, even though I have a feeling she will balk at the idea of showing me her work, as she does it, like her "little brothers" have to do. I think she feels like she should be beyond this, and maybe she should be, but she's obviously not.
Ds should be finishing up today and can take a break for summer. I had a talk with him about how we can avoid the stress that this year has been. I mentioned several methods for him to stay organized and make sure his work is getting done. He really likes the card idea, which I didn't expect. He likes that he can take the cards, put them in order how he wants to do them, then stack his books accordingly. I think he likes the idea of controlling when he does each subject. I told him I'm okay with that as long as they get done! So, I'm working on typing up the syllabi then I guess I'll need to get some cards!
Thank you for helping me sort this all out, ladies! You are always such a blessing!
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Becky
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Servant2theKing
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| Posted: June 06 2014 at 2:11pm | IP Logged
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 Becky! BTDT with family crises, health issues and trying to keep everyone and everything on track! I echo many of the suggestions offered regarding this thread, and the one you posted about syllabi. Just wanted to add, be gentle with yourself and your kids! The entire family experiences difficulty when Mom or other senior family members are ill or over stressed. Sometimes we need to just declare a certain year done and good enough, then move on. If we can't do that completely, it helps a great deal to at least acknowledge the stress (particularly with our spouse and our children) and perhaps loosen some expectations for ourselves and our loved ones. Praying for you and your entire family!
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MarilynW
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| Posted: June 06 2014 at 2:26pm | IP Logged
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Becky - I was just coming to write too -that many of us are in a similar place. It gets tougher when one has littles and teens and college students, as well as elderly parents, and then we do not have the energy we had at the beginning of the homeschooling journey.
The longer I do this, the more I drop my perfectionism and "control" because I realize that I cannot really do anything with Him. Right now I am trying to finish up this year and plan the next and sometimes planning for 5 children seems so hard. Not to mention things to be done in the house, in the yard, dentist appointments, doctor appointments, older kids in jobs, drivers ed etc etc. I often say "God, how am I supposed to get all of this done?!!" And I know He will give me the strength one day a time. There is a songthat my mom liked when I was a child, and I think of it now.
Many hugs to you Becky. Just remember that God is the builder. Let Him guide you and leave the results to Him. I think it was Blessed Mother Teresa who said - God calls us to be faithful not successful. As long as we are being diligent and faithful and not slothful, then we can leave it to Him.
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Marilyn
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SuzanneG
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| Posted: June 13 2014 at 5:09pm | IP Logged
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Love this thread!!!!
Mackfam wrote:
| When my son comes to me and asks to do "x", I can say, "Sure - I'll just need to check your lesson plans to make sure your work is done." Now the burden is on the child to complete the work, and he knows the expectations. |
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To piggyback off of this...we like to *create* situations where kids are presented with “fun activity X” in the afternoon, WELL after they should be completed with school work, but OBVIOUSLY ARE NOT.  
I would enlist the help of friend, neighbor, or mostly Dad. It really helps to cement that idea of “doing what needs to be done” even when you know that mom is probably going to be gone/busy/nursing/out and not able to check work at the end of the day. You just NEVER know when neighbor-friend is going to call and ask you to go to a boat race that night, and wouldn’t it be a shame to have to miss that??!!!!!
When Dad is home and I see there are 2 or 3 kiddos who aren’t done, I tell him that it’s “tag time” (that’s just what we call it, since when they were young, he would go out and play tag with them. Now, we have to be a little bit more creative!) ……and he knows to call to everyone who has completed their work outside to play Capture the Flag, go into town for ice cream, make ice cream sundays, maybe watch a couple funny videos on youtube, have a popsicle….whatever it is that is appropriate for that time of day, weather, and who the poor-souls-are-who-are-not-done-with-work, etc.
Example: At 3:00, I KNOW that there are several children who were slacking, so I call everyone to begin a movie. All who are finished and caught up with school, can watch. Those who aren’t, cannot.
Not that I just am DYING to model what happens in a brick and mortar school, but there are just simply more cause-effect things that happen in a school with other peers / teacher / events, that don’t happen in a home environment. For us, it’s just been helpful to create our own “home variation” of those consequences that can help kids buckle-up, in order to avoid bad habits, slacking and just plain ol’ laziness!!!
If you do this too, I’d love to hear some of the the creative “consequences” that happen in your house. Who, what, where, what age, when, etc……..
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Suzanne in ID
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Becky Parker
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| Posted: June 14 2014 at 6:43am | IP Logged
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SuzanneG wrote:
Not that I just am DYING to model what happens in a brick and mortar school, but there are just simply more cause-effect things that happen in a school with other peers / teacher / events, that don’t happen in a home environment. |
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I hear you Suzanne. When I was a teacher if my class was getting rowdy, all I had to do was look at my watch. The kids knew I was counting the minutes that I had to wait because those minutes would be extracted from their recess time. They usually quieted down very quickly! If homework wasn't done, they stayed if from recess to do it. It's more difficult to copy that at home because if they don't have their work done it was probably because they were taking their "recess" early! I'll be interested to hear what ideas are shared here. For us, it seems that screen time is the main motivator for getting work done but that's losing it's effectiveness.
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Becky
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: When Independent Work Isn't Being Done :(
