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knowloveserve
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| Posted: Oct 18 2012 at 11:11pm | IP Logged
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I'm pretty much through with mandating anything school-wise. We've faced a whole host of struggles that have only escalated this year (one son clearly has ODD--which we are trying to tackle in a number of ways) that has me reevaluating our educational goals.
I've always been drawn to unschooling but felt guilty. I'm learning to surrender and trust that my kids will learn what they need to develop into the people God wants them to be. I want them to be judged for who they are, not what they know.
I've always loved CM, because of the discipline and habits and virtue formation... so I felt guilty doing unschooling because I falsely equated it with unparenting.
Habits, disciplines and responsibilities are taught in our home through chores, family duties, responsibilities to others and the community. These are the non-negotiables. This is where the character formation is being built.
Education is now something they own... not something that happens to them, or else they're punished.
They read independently often.
I "strew" all the time.
We go to daily Mass.
We read aloud together books of my choosing (science, history, art, music) which they like to do because the books are good and it's quality time with me.
I require some form of writing every day, be it in letters, copywork of their choosing, stories, journaling, e-mail correspondence or whathaveyou.
We have weekly piano lessons.
Math is taught in real life; I've really learned to surrender this one and accept that arithmetic really isn't all that tough to learn when a child WANTS to and needs to... even if its just for a college entrance exam. For now, my 7.5 year old knows fractions through cooking, and we talk about decimal and percentage conversions. The boys play Bingo Bugs and other math games together. I've let it go.
We do Scripture memorization utilizing the method at Simply Charlotte Mason. We love this. It works for us. And is bearing good fruit.
We go outside often. They have always balked at nature notebooks. Always. They love to draw monsters and castles and knights on their own... but aren't so keen on nature notebooking. We do make a concerted effort to identify plants, animals, tracks and things. We do practice good stewardship of the earth. But I was sick of pushing the kids into journaling for fear they would dread our outings.
So here, we've slowly begun to embrace a total surrender and unschooling attitude. I save my power struggles for duties and character and responsibilities for self and others, faith and morals. I've given up the fights on learning. Otherwise, I'd be fighting all day. I'm not willing to sacrifice relationships for perfect grammar and math geniuses. Others can effectively teach in the CM way. While I would love to do so also, I have found that the temperaments in my household need a different approach. Minus the inevitable bumps, we are all much happier now. We enjoy each others' company and feel like we are journeying together to Heaven, rather than ripping each other's heads off along the way.
It's still new. It's still not perfect. And it's still not my ideal situation. But I'm trusting in the mercy of God to judge my intentions and I've prayed long and hard about this with the only positive days with my children really being the ones where I let go of the curriculum and embrace real life togetherness and natural learning (that DOES happen... I don't know why I thought it wouldn't... but it really DOES!). Journaling on my own the things we DO every day has helped me to feel at peace. It's easy to focus on what we AREN'T doing; there are gaps in every education. But in reality, when learning occurs on a natural plane, when the moment is ripe, it is far more efficient and efficacious than hours and hours of lesson plans.
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Ellie
The Bleeding Pelican
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SeaStar
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| Posted: Oct 22 2012 at 6:01am | IP Logged
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I love your post, Ellie. It has many good points.
I think that one mom trying to cook, clean. shop, parent AND teach school is a huge undertaking, and we all have to approach it in our own ways. Different kids have different temperaments, and dynamics are different from family to family.
My one big (OK, huge) fear in trying to keep a school schedule or stick always to a certain philosophy is that I will squelch my kids' love for learning.
They already know how to learn on their own and can. And they have their own work in mind most days, if I would let them do it.
An example of this is the other day when my dd balked at doing a short writing lesson. She would not even write the three sentences asked for. I let it go. She turned around immediately and got a sheet of paper and made a campaign poster for The Philly Phanatic for President. She wrote, she drew, she thought creatively.
She did way more than what was required in the little 3 sentence assignment. I don't want to squash that by too much "check off the box" thinking.
vote for me 
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
SQUILT Music Appreciation
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CrunchyMom
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| Posted: Oct 22 2012 at 8:33am | IP Logged
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Thank you for sharing, Ellie. You have given me much to ponder!
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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CrunchyMom
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| Posted: Oct 22 2012 at 9:07am | IP Logged
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Off the very tip-top of my head, and sharing it here right away so I don't lose it and can get feed back all at once, I wonder if a simplified, more loosey-goosey checklist for the day might help.
- Have we contemplated beauty today? (Listened to composer, Picture Study, Poetry, or Nature Study).
- Have we grown in understanding faith? (Bible Story, Saint Story, Liturgical Year Activity)
- Have we visited the things we are trying to memorize? (Foreign Language Vocab, Poetry, Bible Verses, Catechism)
- Have we practiced other disciplines? (Musical Instrument, German Dance, Athletics, CHORES!!!)
- Have we shared in quality literature today (Read Alouds, Audio Books).
- Have we touched pencil to paper today? (Learn Cursive, Drawing Lesson, Copywork, Notebook/Journal)
- Have we done a bit of math, Latin, and phonics/grammar, and narration?
- Have we prayed together?
If we could establish a rhythm to our day where we were doing these things, I would consider our education rich indeed.
So far, I manage to consistently do the bit of math, Latin, and phonics daily, lol. Narration fairly often, though I've grown lax in caring just which book I hear it from. Am I indeed "growing lax" and being undisciplined or am I finding a place where ds feels more autonomy and freedom?
__________________
Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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JennGM
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| Posted: Oct 22 2012 at 9:10am | IP Logged
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Love this list, Lindsay!
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to  & ds1  '03 & ds2  '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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mrsgranola
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| Posted: Oct 22 2012 at 9:15am | IP Logged
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I second what Jenn said... this list is speaking volumes to me today... it's been a rough year..
Thanks!
JoAnna
Mom to Jacob, Grace, Mary, Lucas, Emma, Carrie and Gianna and several with God
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SallyT
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| Posted: Oct 22 2012 at 10:25am | IP Logged
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I tend to think that things like this are an ongoing negotiation between my visions and my reality, as well as between my kids and me. I have often let child-led projects stand in for work I would otherwise have scheduled and required -- when my oldest was 11 or 12, she devoured those Dear America books and wrote a series of her own little novels based on them, and fairly heavily researched. I let those projects stand in for history and composition, at least, because they seemed to me to cover a number of learning bases at once. If she hadn't been doing them, I'd have had to come up with something and assign it, but as it was, I felt I'd have been reinventing the wheel.
An older homeschooling-mom friend of mine said once that her favorite word for education was "integration" -- not as in the opposite of segregation as we tend to think of it, but as in the opposite of the segregation of learning into discrete subjects. For example, if you're writing notes in your nature notebook, is that not "writing?" If you read a book about famous mathematicians through history and do some written narration, have you not done some math, some history, some reading, some composition . . . and so on.
I think about this a lot when we're reading Life of Fred, for example, since he manages to work in, in addition to math concepts, things like astronomy, grammar, history, and I forget what else now. I sometimes think that we could get by *just* reading Fred some days, and doing some exercises in our CHC handwriting book, since that entails copywork, which entails spelling and sometimes grammar . . . I do tend to let copywork stand in for a lot of things on any given day, so that's always been one of my very few non-negotiables.
On the other hand, I find I feel a greater need for structure and routine with my younger children -- maybe because I'm older and need more order so as to cope with life! and they're so chaotic! -- and our days tend to be less "flowy" than they were when I had the two older kids schooling and the littles were really little. Some of the flowiness probably was the result of having smaller children who had to be tended and watched, so that I was maybe more willing to say, "Yeah, sure, write your novel and we'll call that 'an entire humanities curriculum' today," just as a survival measure. And I haven't seen that that's hurt my older children in any way. They're both hugely self-motivated and conscientious about their studies, without my having really made any effort to train them to be that way.
In fact, I sometimes wonder whether I'm really doing my youngers a favor by being more structured and routine-oriented . . . though I see definite benefits almost daily in what we're doing, in our routine of read-alouds and "table work," which they mostly really enjoy. And while I chose our rota of books with definite subjects in mind, I almost never say, "Now we're going to do our history reading," or, "Now it's time for some geography." They're just books, and we read them because we're enjoying them on their own terms. AND whatever they happen to be on a given day, they do cover many of the items on Lindsay's list, often simultaneously.
Of course, ironically, I'm sitting here writing this at 11 a.m. on a Monday while my kids are upstairs messing around (well, one is cleaning her room) . . . We got in from a road trip at midnight, and other than hopefully making it to YMCA Gym and Swim, I have no expectations for this day. It seems to me that we had a lot more days like this when the olders were younger, and I would declare that we were having a "life management skills day" or something. Again, this may have been a direct result of having really small children in the house. I would not discount that as a factor in the need to let go a little . . . especially when you have a child who wants to surge ahead in a particular direction and it's frankly helpful to you to let that happen, because it frees you to be mindful in another direction. And again, I truly don't see that it's hurt my older children at all, or made them lax in any way. Quite the opposite, in fact . . .
But yes, I think it can be very helpful to think in broad categories and to have resources easily at hand so that you can attend to those important daily touchpoints in the moment when you need to. I also think it's okay to think in terms of general skills -- narration, for example, or writing -- without *having* to tie them to a particular book or exercise. Your aim ultimately is for the child to apply these habits of mind and hand to his own pursuits, so I even count, say, a child's spontaneous narration of something he's read on his own, as a narration. I mean, in the end, that's what I want him to be able to do: read and recall and retell . . . whatever it is he's encountered. I look on moments like that as pure gift, and consider that it's my job to say, "Fiat."
OK, it would probably be helpful for me at least to find people's bathing suits for the Y . . . Some edu-sage I am this morning!
Sally
PS: I was feeling really disorganized and as if this day were kind of a failure academically, until my 8yo, who had been cleaning her room, came down to report to me that her brother was "reading some book called The Story of the Amistad, and he's hiding it from me." OK, so I have no idea what the hiding is about, but clearly this open-ended, demotivated day is not a total write-off, at least for that child. I was going to assign that book later on this year, but if he's taken it down and read it already on his own, more power to him. It'll be there in his imagination when we get to that point in our "spine" reading, and that's okay. And if I haven't had to fight him over reading another "boring" assigned book, which is the general MO (all books I assign are awful, until he's read the first chapter, and then I'm awful for not letting him inhale the whole book in an hour), that makes my life a little easier. I can work on my slow-reading principles with him another time.
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Castle in the Sea
Abandon Hopefully
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CrunchyMom
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| Posted: Oct 24 2012 at 5:05am | IP Logged
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Not sure exactly how this relates, but I came across this quote from St. Francis de Sales, and it spoke to me on many fronts, but this discussion came to mind especially:
Quote:
| The enemy often tries to make us attempt and start many projects so that we will be overwhelmed with too many tasks, and therefore, achieve nothing and leave everything unfinished. Simetimes he even suggests the wish to undertake some excellent work that he forsees we will never accomplish. This is to distract us from the prosecution of some less excellent work that we would have easily completed. He does not care how many...beginnings we make, provided nothing is finished...But with Christians, it is not so much the beginning as the end that counts. |
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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Aagot
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| Posted: Oct 24 2012 at 7:24am | IP Logged
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Wow Lindsay!
That is so true!
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Chris V
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| Posted: Oct 24 2012 at 11:47am | IP Logged
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... so much to say on this subject. So much in my heart, in my mind - everyday.
The journey of coming to terms with my own style of doing things has really been a cross between a struggle and a liberation. So much of what I do relies on trust, my relationship with my children, meeting my children where they are at (not where there is an expectation of where they should be - either cultural expectation or my own expectations placed on them, stemming from my own insecurities of not knowing what I'm doing  ).
There was another thread... where-oh-where was it? a few days ago, about our children owning their education. This idea of children owning their own education is discussed quite frequently in "unschooling" circles. Though hard to define in words, I know just what I want this to look like in my own home, with my own children. I really don't think I could do my vision of this justice with written words in this little space, but I do know that it isn't achieved by forcing my children to do anything, but rather keeping them inspired (often easier said than done...). But when I see my girls balk at the idea of me asking them to read, write, or complete something - then turn around and do the exact same thing of their own free will - I know that I'm on to something special in the way I approach their education, and I try to keep from second guessing my own instincts. Now it's just up to me to keep it going, working with them, and remebering to keep my relationship with my children the highest priority.
That's not to say that I believe that we shouldn't ever ask our children to complete something, read something, or write something - but I do think that careful consideration and balance are critical, and above all, knowing your child, how they learn, what methods keep them thriving.
There are children that thrive under structure, expecation, tasks assigned and tasks completed. I pray that I continue to keep my children as individuals, always. And look at them as individuals in every area of life and prayerfully discern how to best help them thrive as such.
Ellie, I loved your post! I really relate to much of what you said.
I often go through a very similar mental checklist, Lindsay - though if it doesn't happen everyday, I trust that what we did do was meaningful, enriching, and with purpose. I'm going to have to jot down the quote from St. Francis de Sales and spend sometime in thoughtful consideration of this...
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Chris
Happy Wife with my Happy Life
Mama to My Five Girls ('04~'07~'09~'11~'11) 
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CrunchyMom
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I've revisited this thread a couple of times in the past week as I reflect on how things are going with our school, and I'm bumping it since it was such a refreshing thread to reread and apparently spoke to many when I first posted my question.
I have felt similarly torn with my current 7 year old, though he's not so advanced a reader as my oldest at this age and is only emerging. It is so good to reread what my own thoughts were 2 years ago as well as the excellent advice offered.
This leapt out at me:
Mackfam wrote:
| I think I probably answered this in some of my other thoughts. I'll add that by 4th grade, I have a child that can self-educate with some guidance from me, and of course, I'm always present. But by 4th grade, those habits move the day - not me! |
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I was so encouraged because when I read this, I realized that my current 4th grader is self-educating  There are still many habits I need to work on in myself and my boys (cough--handwriting--cough) to create the environment I desire, but it is a relief to realize that we have made progress. 
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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JennGM
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CrunchyMom wrote:
I've revisited this thread a couple of times in the past week as I reflect on how things are going with our school, and I'm bumping it since it was such a refreshing thread to reread and apparently spoke to many when I first posted my question.
I have felt similarly torn with my current 7 year old, though he's not so advanced a reader as my oldest at this age and is only emerging. It is so good to reread what my own thoughts were 2 years ago as well as the excellent advice offered.
This leapt out at me:
Mackfam wrote:
| I think I probably answered this in some of my other thoughts. I'll add that by 4th grade, I have a child that can self-educate with some guidance from me, and of course, I'm always present. But by 4th grade, those habits move the day - not me! |
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I was so encouraged because when I read this, I realized that my current 4th grader is self-educating There are still many habits I need to work on in myself and my boys (cough--handwriting--cough) to create the environment I desire, but it is a relief to realize that we have made progress. |
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We live in parallel universes, Lindsay. I think improving handwriting is my number one goal for this year.
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to & ds1 '03 & ds2 '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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CrunchyMom
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I know that your Advent is WAY up in the air, but I'm planning to drop our regular lessons for Advent, use your Advent Alphabet plans, and *hopefully* make handwriting sheets where we review the formation of the letters to coordinate with them. I've been wanting to buy the Right Start games book and serendipitously found my missing decks during our move to turning our family room into a school room last month, so we'll do those daily with emphasis on handwriting, our Advent readings, and hopefully some handiwork (St. Nicholas is bringing the Winky Cherry dvd and supplies for sewing).
Anyway, just a thought since you have the Advent plans. Do you have Startwrite? If I succeed, I can send you the files. 
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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JennGM
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Great idea, Lindsay! When I originally wrote them, I had a composition notebook covered in purple (the kind with room for drawing up top). I made an alphabet chain for each letter. He would take the chain for the day, and then copy the words for the letters: A for Adam, etc. And then I would have him write a sentence. He would then draw a picture. We didn't complete the alphabet, but he loves looking at his old work.
As soon as I get a surgery date nailed down, that will give me an idea of what to nail down for school for the boys, having my mother do something minimally. She loved that little Alphabet Advent when I first wrote it. Since my ds2 will do it for the first time, I thought I'd try to revamp a little. Let me know if there are certain areas I can revise or update.
I'm going to be writing a colummn/blog for Catholic Culture and this was one of the items I thought I would peg to do.
I do have StartWrite, so I would love the files.
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to & ds1 '03 & ds2 '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: Am I just hopelessy unschooly?
