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Angie Mc
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Do you panic about homeschooling? If so, how often do you panic? How long does your panic last? Do you panic over the same things regularly? Do you see any patterns or triggers to your panic?
I paniced today over...math. I thought to myself, "Gee, this is familiar." In fact, I realized that I panic about math, oh, about once a semester...with each kid...over many years of homeschooling  . You would think this would grow old and die, but oh no, it is alive and well  .
Finally, what do you do when you panic? How do you overcome this sudden and strong rush of fear? Do you see any benefits to facing such a fear?
Thanks for sharing  .
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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KC in TX
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I panic often. I panic I'm not teaching my special needs child well. I worry all the time but I seriously panic once a quarter. You're not alone. 
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KC,
wife to Ben (10/94),
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Michaela ('01)
Emma ('03)
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And, my 2 angels, Rose ('08) and Mark ('09)
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JodieLyn
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Sometimes, mostly when I think other people are going to judge me harshly even though I know we're doing more for the child than the schools could.
In that I do find it helps to face down the fear because it's just not as scary when you have thought through it logically and can answer the questions that your subconscious is worried about.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Erin
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I had a massive panic at the beginning of last year, my oldest was due to start Grade 11. I nearly sent her to school out of fear. When I calmed down I realised, if I was meant to send her to school was one thing, but to make a decision based on fear wasn't good.
Now if your question was "what do you despair about?" I'd answer my teen boys handwriting and most of my children's spelling. 
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Erin
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Mackfam
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Yep. I panic when I find out I'm pregnant. Because of my high risk pregnancies that involve being fed through a central line - I absolutely    wig out...for exactly 1 hour.
Then....it's time to get crazy determined and problem solve!! 
I've got about 1 - 2 weeks between pink plus sign and hospitalization...so...I start with a priority list and work my way through it, delegating tasks as I am able. It starts with food and shelter needs, and home education needs come after that.
Since the context of the question is homeschooling, my plan for tackling my panic fear in that area is to:
:: pray for the grace to surrender to God's holy will and the needs of this pregnancy
:: peel back serious layers on the plans
:: add in tools for independent work (by clearly indicating expectations)
:: set up resources for myself that are near my perch on the couch/bed so that I can continue to hold kids accountable in certain subjects
:: plans to CONTAIN-CONTAIN-CONTAIN --> my throne becomes my bed, therefore, we contain in my bedroom.
:: provide safe, enjoyable space for small children with plan for keeping that small area stocked with 2 or 3 fresh activities/offerings each week
:: review chore chart, remove excess (this is not the time for weekly fridge wipe downs and wood polishing...we move to survival-maintenance routines.) retrain children in their new survival maintenance chores.
:: practice/model new jobs
:: build pregnancy prayer basket
:: wash everything within sight
:: pray for the grace to surrender to God's holy will and the needs of this pregnancy
(ok...that was more than just homeschooling stuff...but you get the idea.)
Then...I take a deep breath and enjoy a last meal!!!
The above brainstorming and implementing helps the family function, keeps us together, and allows me to manage my panic fear by acknowledging the challenge, acknowledging the Giver of Life's plan, brainstorming the challenge with my dh, working to prepare the family to act, and preparing myself spiritually as best as I am able. It's never, ever perfect, but, it's a good start. 
So, that's when I panic. And how I get crazy brainstorming it!
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19 , ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
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Grace&Chaos
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I'm still a novice at this (IMHO) and seem to panic right around planning season for the last four years. Especially since our family has gone from three to six since we made the decision to hs.
The best way to calm down is to pray, talk it over with my dh and then evaluate what is working and not so far. I try not to make complete 180 changes but will adjust here and there to ease into what I think will work better next time and reach our ultimate learning phylosophy. (I seek inspiration by other hs moms too )
A clear benefit for us (so far) is that I'm really taking the time to plan an "atmosphere" of learning instead of just getting through the day with uninspiring busy work.
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Blessings,
Jenny
Mom to dds(00,03) and dss(05,06,08,09)
Grace in Loving Chaos
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Mackfam
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Thought of another.
I sometimes panic when a child's progress or skill level is slow, or less than stellar. It takes me about one evening to quietly regain perspective and no longer feel panicked.
I don't share this panic with the child, but talking privately with my dh is super helpful for me.
I pray for wisdom and the gentleness of the Blessed Mother in finding and applying solutions.
I begin to brainstorm by looking at the problem/issue from every angle and give myself immediate permission to dismiss measuring sticks or arbitrarily applied *standards*.
I ask myself a gazillion questions about the variables surrounding the issue.
I observe the child (without interrupting) and might even discreetly make notes about the performance or exercise of a skill.
Once I have regained perspective, which is to say, I am no longer panicking, I may ask the child for input (always in a positive way...a seeking to understand how something is working way) to try to get to the heart of a problem.
I work to provide gentle tools that encourage growth and challenge within that child's ability.
I relax and sometimes just allow something to be what it is for a while. It took me some time to learn how to do this, but I'm grateful for the ability to relax when needed.
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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amyable
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KC in TX wrote:
| I panic often. I panic I'm not teaching my special needs child well. I worry all the time but I seriously panic once a quarter. You're not alone. |
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This. Exactly.
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Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
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Chris V
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Sounds utterly silly, but with my oldest being 6 years old, I tend to *panic* about every other week . I wish I was joking. With my Charlotee Mason-ee Unschool-ee tendencies, I look back on our time spent and vomit (just a little) at how much I just let her play and do whatever she wants. ... I then immediately go into serious planning mode and I script out the next two weeks in my planner, right down to the coloring sheets I'll use, for example as in today, The Annunciation. Then a couple of days pass, as I've spent that time steeped in prayer about our homeschooling, and I realize that she's only 6 years old. Her job is to play, and we should be spending the bulk of our time enjoying life together, reading picture books on the sofa together - tossing in an occasional chapter book, time on the floor with blocks, and playing outside!
... then another week passes and I'll think to myself that I've been the ultimate slacker-mom. And the maddness continues . Honestly, though. I can just be insecure about what I'm doing. ... there's a tremendous amount of pressure when we live in a culture that measures success by how fluently your child is reading at age 2-1/2. ... got to keep it all in perspective. Lord, I pray.
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Maryan
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Yes. The responsibility of parenthood and education is a big yoke.
Every January I think I panic about math and get a workbook. And now similar to Jen... I panic at not being ready for the next baby. So I'm planning for next year now while I'm not pregnant. If I don't end up being pregnant sometime in the next school yer... then I'll just be really organized! 
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Maryan
Mom to 6 boys & 1 girl: JP('01), B ('03), M('05), L('06), Ph ('08), M ('10), James born 5/1/12
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JuliaT
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I panic about homeschooling all of the time. Having 3 children who all have learning challenges, makes panic a regular state for me.
I came upon two things yesterday that really spoke to me about my state of panic. I read on another forum the wise words of Andrew Kern (the founder of Circe Institute.) He reminds us that we need to teach from a place of rest. We do not get far when we teach with anxiety. To get to a place of rest, we must start our day with the Lord, be it a chunk of time in Bible reading and prayer or a simple prayer uttered before our learning time begins--something that is God-focused to bring our thoughts to the right place.
The other thing that spoke to me was the book, "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp. I am inhaling this book. One way to lessen the panic is to enter into a lifestyle of thanksgiving. Become aware of the simple things and give thanks to Him. Even thank Him for the struggles, the learning challenges and the pain-infused times. Giving thanks can push the panic away and replace it with joy and peace.
I have to admit that these two things made tears course down my face. I am so tired of the panic and the fear. I am so ready for joy and peace!
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Blessings,
Julia
mom of 3(14,13 & 11 yrs.old)
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atara
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 These are some great tips! It's my first post but I really wanted to jump right in!
I had so much panic about home schooling that I began pushing my child (2) much too hard. I was stressing out both of us. Because I work part-time and it was just too much, we put him in a little learning center that is very structured. Now, I felt so bad about it, but I still kept up our little lessons every morning - prayers, bible story, letter of the day, writing, etc. It took less than 10 minutes but I stayed (and still stay) consistant. We found out this week from two different teachers there that he is the smartest in his class, wakes early from nap and is allowed to color, and minds well.
My husband and I took a step back, realizing how much we work with him, and KNEW that this was our own doing. I look back and wandered why I doubted myself so much because we are doing a good job.
I think when homeschooling you don't get that feedback about your childs level and that was very hard for me. Anyway, I hope that helps, even if it just means I totally understand!!! What you could do is go to your state's website and download the objectives for each grade. Maybe that could give you something "check off" as your child learns it.
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Elena
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I am going to be graduating my first homeschool student this spring. I am panicked about all the stuff we didn't get too, I'm panicked about the stuff he is deficient in (mainly writing) and I'm hoping his homeschool diploma is going to help him enough.
That all said, he has a job and his employer loves him. And he has 6 credits banked for college in Math! So I guess I got some things right!
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Elena
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lapazfarm
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Ok, please don't throw tomatoes, but I have to say, NO.
I don't panic.
About homeschooling or anything else, really.
I suppose it just isn't in my nature to do so.
I do worry a bit, and I plan and throw out plans, and get frustrated and change things up every once in a while. But this I think is all just a normal, healthy part of being a homeschooling mom.
But panic? That gut-wrenching, paralyzing feeling of fear and lack of control? Nope. That is totally foreign to me.
I'm lucky, I suppose, that I find it relatively easy to let go and trust that things will either work themselves out, or I will be able to find some solution to whatever dilemma pops up. I firmly believe that God gives us the graces we need to conquer any challenge He puts before us. So, why worry? It's all good.
But please don't hate me because I'm laid-back, okay?
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Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
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Angie Mc
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Thanks, all, for the discussion...and would love to hear more.
lapazfarm wrote:
| But please don't hate me because I'm laid-back, okay? |
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OK! I am not laid back by nature and so value those who are, especially my dh . We're both pretty intense but I'm the extrovert and he's the introvert.
I can't recall panicing in the early years over homeschooling. Back then, I mainly paniced from time to time over my mothering. I think the first time that I paniced over homeschooling directly was when my oldest hit 8th grade and we were going to homeschool for high school. I wrote about it here .
So let's see. Panic about homeschooling can stem from or be triggered by...
temperament tendency
experience level
habits of thought
lack of objective feedback
lack of accountability
desire to do it all
exceptional circumstances
external scrutiny
transition from one stage to another
a particular subject
student challenges
lack of personal care and support
I've been thinking that the panic doesn't have to be a problem (although it is definitely uncomfortable and over time can be draining,) but a call to action. It's a chance to look at my thinking (am I being reasonable?) or to regroup. If the panic is coming too often, it probably means I need to spend more time with personal care - make sure I'm rested, fed, showered . When looking at the above list, I can definitely see where several factors can collude. Out of the above list of 12 factors, I was dealing with 8 .
I'll be back next week to share how my current attention-getting episode pans out. I'm optimistic!
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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Jenn Sal
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Angie,
Funny! Yes I panic! I panic about every three months. Usually about math. Now I've added spelling to my panic list with my 9yo. I think I panic because I don't have a lot of confidence in my abilities. That's my issue and I know that.  In this area, I'm surrounded by homeschoolers who, compared to me, are highly educated and are raising their children the same way. Not many CM'rs in my circle. That's why I come here!! I often feel I don't do enough.
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Jennifer, Texas
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Angie Mc
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OK, so the math panic may be genetic . Therefore, out of our control . What a relief!
Jenn Sal wrote:
| I think I panic because I don't have a lot of confidence in my abilities. ...I often feel I don't do enough. |
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Yet I see positives to not being overly confident in myself, like being able to ask for and accept help. I also think that it keeps me kind and less harsh on others. Besides, we don't need to by hyper confident in ourselves as much as in God and His guidance of our family. (I just wrote a bit about confidence at my blog, linked below.)
It looks like our family has a lead on a good tutoring situation for math. I'll report back after we have a few weeks under our belts.
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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time4tea
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Yes, I do panic, more often than I like and care to admit . I have been homeschooling for 9 years now, so you would think I wouldn't panic anymore, but I do. Mostly, I worry that the dc are not where they should be/are behind. No matter how much we manage to complete, I worry about this.
I also spend a lot of time worrying about curriculum, although this has not been as big of an issue for me the past few years as it was when we first started. I find that we are so limited financially, that it cuts out a lot of the temptation to "buy and try" different things. I am much more careful now about purchasing items, because if I buy it, I will have to use it unless I can make a serious case to dh as to why we need to get something else!
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Mimip
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I'm actually in a state of panic right now for a few things and I feel so blessed that this topic is coming up.
1. I think my dd age 8 has some type of learning disability and I have no idea where to start to even get her evaluated. I have a few friends that I need to call and get some more info but the more and more my husband pray and talk it looks like we are going to have her repeat 3rd grade. She is a very late summer birthday and I think this just might be the best for her BUT for the first time ever I am in a panic about my abilities to teach her. I am turning to Our Lady and giving Jesus my feelings of panic.
2. WE ARE SOOOOO behind in our school year. Realistically we are little more than half way in most subjects. So much has gone on with our lives this year and the majority of the management of that has fallen to my shoulders. My mother's permanent move to become a religious (very long story) has put a huge amount of burden on my shoulders and since we lost my grandfather this past Christmas, I have become overwhelmed with my days. I am in a panic about how long I can go into the summer.
Every year around this time I sit down and lay out the rest of our year (of course after an initial panic attack ) and realize that we aren't really that far behind. This year, we really are that far behind but that is life is it not????
Am I the only one that feels like this:
"If only x,y,z, didn't happen this year, we would have had a perfect school year."
Sometimes I get frustrated that life got in the way of school and then I stop and laugh, of course life got in the way, the education of our children is life and then we start over and keep moving.
Anyways yeah I panic but then I get on my knees and pray and pray and pray for peace and look at my plaque that has my favorite quote.
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
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In Christ,
Mimi
Wife of 16 years to Tom, Mom of DD'00, DD'02, '04(in heaven) DS'05, DS'08 and DS '12
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Cay Gibson
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Mimip wrote:
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
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Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: Do you panic about homeschooling?
