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Becky Parker Forum All-Star
Joined: May 23 2005 Location: Michigan
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Posted: May 05 2010 at 1:04pm | IP Logged
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No suggestions Angela and Sarah, but I'm one of the crowd that never feels like my house is clean. The only time that happens is when we are having something like a First Communion Party and I about kill myself trying to get everything done at once, without the kids messing it up while I'm working. I'm generally not a very nice person in those situations!
At this point I feel like cleaning one room or area at a time isn't ideal, because the entire house isn't clean at once, but at least I know everything is getting cleaned at least once a week.
I've been thinking about how this is just one of those "seasons" in life, that we shouldn't wish away because once it's gone we'll miss it. But we do have to put up with it for a while. When all our kids are older and capable of really helping out, who will we sit and rock and nurse and read to? So we pray for grace, do the best we can, and hope our friends call before they come over!
__________________ Becky
Wife to Wes, Mom to 6 wonderful kids on Earth and 4 in Heaven!
Academy Of The Good Shepherd
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JuliaT Forum All-Star
Joined: June 25 2006
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Posted: May 05 2010 at 1:33pm | IP Logged
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Angela, I really shouldn't answer this as I have just started this week but so far things are going well and I like doing it this way.
It does take a chunk of time out of my day, depending on what the chores are. On Mon. I washed all of the floors. I have alot of linoleum in my house so it took me about 1 1/2 to 2 hours to get it all done. Yesterday was vacuuming and dusting, that only took me an hour.
What I like so far about this method is that the whole house is getting looked at. Before, I never seemed to get to the basement and it always looked horribly dirty. My basement is now clean (well, at least the carpets are vacuumed) and all of the bathroom floors are washed (another thing that was neglected.) so I am feeling victorious in these areas.
Our school days vary and cleaning depends on that. Some days we don't do school until the afternoon so then I will do the cleaning first thing in the morning. On the days when we do school in the morning, then cleaning gets done in the afternoon.
I think the key thing in this type of cleaning schedule is maintenance. I am trying to get in the habit of doing a quick late afternoon tidy of all of the rooms to help keep order.
As I said we have just started this. I will let you know in 3 months if it is just as successful.
__________________ Blessings,
Julia
mom of 3(14,13 & 11 yrs.old)
MusingsofaPrairieGirl
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SuzanneG Forum Moderator
Joined: June 17 2006 Location: Idaho
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Posted: June 27 2013 at 9:06am | IP Logged
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BUMP!
This was a fun home-mangagement-chore discussion that I keep coming back to. Maybe some things to consider/try as we're looking forward and planning for Fall after summer fun!
__________________ Suzanne in ID
Wife to Pete
Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)
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kristacecilia Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 05 2010
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Posted: June 28 2013 at 6:41am | IP Logged
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Okay, I have to admit- yesterday I read this entire thread and then felt terrible about my life. Granted, I had not slept in two days or showered in three. It wasn't a great time to be pondering all the things I should be doing regarding time management.
So this morning, after getting some much needed sleep (thank you, dear child #5, for sleeping!) I am pondering it with a fresh mind.
I also found this link this morning, on an unrelated search, which I found to be so helpful that I am thinking about doing it.
http://milestonesacademy.com/Site/Blastoff.html
(Warning, this is a Protestant site, I'm going to make it Catholic, obviously!)
I just wanted to pass that along for anyone else who really feels overwhelmed by this thread and down on themselves for not being as awesome as the women who posted on it. You guys are so inspiring and amazing; I know discouraging anyone is the farthest thing from your mind, and in the end this thread was extremely helpful.
__________________ God bless,
Krista
Wife to a great guy, mom to two boys ('04, '06) and three girls ('08, '10, '12!)
I blog at http://kristacecilia.wordpress.com/
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mooreboyz Forum Pro
Joined: March 16 2008 Location: Wisconsin
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Posted: June 29 2013 at 7:10am | IP Logged
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After some reflecting here with a new baby due in a month I am starting some new things.
First, starting Monday a new chore chart begins to train the boys before baby comes. I explained to them that I won't be able to do as much and being through this new baby time numerous times before they know what to expect. I made a very detailed list with the 6, 8, and 11 year olds doing the morning tidy which includes kitchen dishes, dishwasher, wiping all counters, stove, stools, and microwave, bathroom counters, sinks, and mirrors, and whole house walk through putting away anything out of place. The 13 and 16 year old have the evening tidy where they will do the same kitchen chores but also sweep, mop, and clean fronts of oven, dishwasher, and micro and they will do the toilet and floors in the bathroom and again a whole house walk through. I used to do a focused kitchen/bathroom day; but, I have found that unless these things are done daily these rooms didn't feel clean.
The boys will still have focused chores by day. We do dusting on Mondays. I wrote out on the chart who dusts what. Tuesdays is change sheets and laundry day. This is new. I have never had them do laundry except folding. I am getting another hamper for the bathroom so that there is one for whites and one for colors. Wednesday is a big cleaning day as our piano teacher comes to our house on Thursday mornings to give lessons to our oldest 5. I again gave each child specific chores from vacuuming to tub/shower to shaking out entrance rugs and mopping. Thursday is another laundry day and also clean your room day. They need to make their beds and tidy daily, but on Thursday they will dust and vacuum also. Friday is an off day. Saturday is vacuuming. Sunday is laundry and water plants.
Last year I set up a rotating monthly chore list for myself which I really like. I have a year planner where I stick index cards with these chores listed as well as other stuff. This year I will write these chores on the white board in our kitchen and offer cash for whoever does them. These include things like clean the fridge, oven, defrost big freezer, clean basement, clean all light fixtures, and so on.
As far as school goes I am giving into the teenagers sleep late way of life. I am going to do the lessons I need to do with my 3, 6, 8, and 11 year olds before lunch leaving them to independent work in the afternoon. I will then have the afternoon to focus on questions my high schoolers have (and help others here and there of course). I have learned that it is best to give attention to the youngest early in the day and so I will meet with. My 3 and 6 year old first thing doing a morning meeting including weather, calendar, songs, and stretches. I will go in spurts between the kids doing history together with the 6 & 8 year old, letters, numbers, crafts, science, shelf work with 3 year old, and assisting as needed with everything else. I decided to not give daily oral lessons on science this year as with a new baby I think I will just have too much on my plate. Instead I am doing science more project based. Every 6 weeks I will give a lesson...montessori great lesson like and then the 6, 8, and 11 year olds will have daily copy work and research question. Then Mondays are for reading, Tuesdays for movies and activities, Wednesday is for research and other activities, Thursday is for workbook. The 6 th week they will put together a demonstration project to show off what they learned...lapbook, poster, diorama, report, or whatever. Fridays we've always saved for fine arts and we will also be watching US history videos this year as well as playing logic type games. We also have a geography bee with all kids on Fridays...everyone looks forward to this as there is usually a prize.
As you can tell I am excited to get this underway. I am officially in nesting mode and as you have more kids I see that this doesn't stop with just cleaning the house. I have a serious compulsion to get all affairs squared away and everyone in ship shop shape so the house can run smoothly.
__________________ Jackie
7 boys - 1, 4, 7, 10, 13, 15, 17 years
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Martha Forum All-Star
Joined: Aug 25 2005 Location: N/A
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Posted: June 29 2013 at 9:14am | IP Logged
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Every time I read something on this topic, it always comes down to, "Don't be a Martha!"
And I'm sitting here lamenting, "But I AM Martha!"
No point to that.
Just saying.
__________________ Martha
mama to 7 boys & 4 girls
Yes, they're all ours!
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CrunchyMom Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 03 2007
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Posted: June 29 2013 at 9:38am | IP Logged
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kristacecilia wrote:
Okay, I have to admit- yesterday I read this entire thread and then felt terrible about my life. Granted, I had not slept in two days or showered in three. It wasn't a great time to be pondering all the things I should be doing regarding time management.
So this morning, after getting some much needed sleep (thank you, dear child #5, for sleeping!) I am pondering it with a fresh mind.
I also found this link this morning, on an unrelated search, which I found to be so helpful that I am thinking about doing it.
http://milestonesacademy.com/Site/Blastoff.html
(Warning, this is a Protestant site, I'm going to make it Catholic, obviously!)
I just wanted to pass that along for anyone else who really feels overwhelmed by this thread and down on themselves for not being as awesome as the women who posted on it. You guys are so inspiring and amazing; I know discouraging anyone is the farthest thing from your mind, and in the end this thread was extremely helpful. |
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I'm not any less awesome than the ladies here who are pure cholerics, and neither are you.
Other more sanguine, creative types (like me) might be inspired by this talk by Michele Quigley from the Chaplet conference, Time Management for Christian Mothers.
I used to think that it was "easier" for some people to be organized, but it is hard work no matter who you are. However, it does come more naturally for some temperaments, and we can learn a lot from each other without comparisons.
__________________ Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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Martha Forum All-Star
Joined: Aug 25 2005 Location: N/A
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Posted: June 29 2013 at 10:08am | IP Logged
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Exactly what Lindsay wrote!
Don't ever forget, Krista, none of us are "experts". We're all the same foxhole as you, learning as we go and doing the best we can. Some days better than others.
__________________ Martha
mama to 7 boys & 4 girls
Yes, they're all ours!
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SallyT Forum All-Star
Joined: Aug 08 2007
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Posted: June 29 2013 at 11:44am | IP Logged
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Ha, Martha, you made me laugh! Some have Martha-ness thrust upon them . . . And I really like what Lindsay said, too. I was the world's messiest, daydreamiest, least organized child, so as long as I don't compare myself with other people, I can be really impressed that my home actually looks much better than the inside of my fifth-grade desk . . . Not that one wants to get the big head or anything.
But I too get overwhelmed by details and moving pieces. I don't enjoy the logistics of running my home; I wish it would run itself. I wish dinner would plan and cook itself, so that I would be off the hook forever. Alas . . . I also wish my will were as strong as my good intentions to improve.
Still, in the area of housekeeping at least I've really been helped lately by the Clean Mama site. I don't read it closely, because I would probably spiral into despair, but I do keep her little weekly chore list on my fridge:
Monday: bathrooms
Tuesday: dust
Wednesday: vacuum
Thursday: wash floors (which I almost never do)
Friday: catch-all
Saturday: linens and towels
Daily: check floors and counters, laundry, clutter
I don't do this list perfectly -- we're really derailed right now, in fact -- but having one thing to do per day keeps me from being too overwhelmed by the house and its demands, on top of schooling. We might do our one chore in the morning; we might do it when school is done; I might do some of it during school while kids are working independently. Typically I do that chore in the downstairs family areas/my own bedroom & bath, while I assign a child or children to do the same chore upstairs, which is Kid Domain.
I could never do the clean-one-area thing, either, because having one area clean while the rest of the house is not clean drives me batty. Better to have the whole house dusted one day, both bathrooms cleaned another, day, and so on. And I've found, since I've been trying to do this, that the whole house stays at least somewhat cleaner and neater, so that having guests over doesn't involve killing ourselves to make it all remotely presentable.
I've also been trying to be more purposeful about having the children involved, even though it's often easier and more efficient to do it all myself. This blog post really resonated with me the other day:
Quote:
How do you keep from getting overwhelmed? I have 5 and feel like I’m constantly being pulled in 5 different directions… someone needs help with a toy, someone needs a snack, someone is smearing poop on the wall, etc all while I’m trying to load the dishwasher. My stress quickly elevates and I end up yelling. I have 2 bigs that are very helpful but I feel really guilty when I’m constantly asking them to assist me. How do you manage the chaos and keep your sanity?”
I did not, I promise with all my heart, always keep from getting overwhelmed. I frequently felt like the Calgon take me away commercials were taunting me.
One thing that helps is to prioritize- a child who needs help with a toy or a snack can wait until you unload the dishwasher, and if they continued to call for me, then they forfeited the help or the snack. Poop is kind of urgent.
Another thing that helps is not to give them opportunities to play the needy distraction card. They can help you unload the dishwasher. Or you can give them each a damp sponge and direct them to wipe down the cupboards, or wipe the floor, or clean the walls in the kitchen while you unload the dishwasher. Whatever task you are doing, keep them nearby, productively busy if you can, and chat and sing together while you work.
Sometimes you might have to resort to make-work tasks, like holding down the vacuum cleaner while you vacuum, but keep pressing on, cheerfully expect the children to pitch in (if they are old enough to help with siblings they are old enough to unload at least part of the dishwasher, and I have had 2 and 3 year olds who can put away silvewear), and it will get easier.
It is true that often you can get it done faster yourself, but it’s helpful to think about this differently. It’s not about getting that task done faster. IT’s about raising your children to be productive, happy, adults. It’s about building relationships and special bonds here and now- with your children, and helping them build bonds with each other. The dishes are not the goal. They are a tool you can use to teach your children (same for other mundane household chores).
Reduce the guilt- older siblings are responsible, contributing members of the family in many cultures, and have been for millenia. It’s only been a blip on the timeline radar that we have imagined they should be merely consumers of time and resources who deserve to be entertained constantly. Work is satisfying, making valuable contributions to the family’s welfare is a huge self esteem booster.
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(This is only a fraction of a much longer blog post; I did not reproduce it in its entirety, and the link to the post is above)
I really like what she has to say about older children, which really means children in general, as contributors, not consumers, in the family economy. For me, the challenge is to resist the impulse just to power through it all to have it be done so that I can think about other things, so that I slow down and make these odious tasks part of my children's education and formation. I think it's important, but I too seldom will myself to do things this way.
Sally
__________________ Castle in the Sea
Abandon Hopefully
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JodieLyn Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 06 2006 Location: Oregon
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Posted: June 29 2013 at 8:58pm | IP Logged
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I am awesome too! and I don't belong on this thread I haven't figured out a way to order my days so that it all works.. I can't get the same number of loads of laundry done each day let alone on the same days every week. My schedule changes so much from day to day that I can't have a set time for dinner. I have too many people for the amount of space we have. And I have many children fairly close together so that I've not had someone at least a little bit in the "too busy toddler" stage in the last 16 years.
But that's ok. REALLY. My house is clean enough and my children are well loved and if we can't follow a normal schedule at least we all spend lots of time together and support one another in the things that we do. I've learned to count what I've gotten done in smaller increments (I did 4 loads of laundry, not that the laundry is done) and someday, maybe I'll have time to clean my house on a schedule.. that is if I'm not doing other things that I can't do now, which is a lovely possibility.
__________________ Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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4 lads mom Forum All-Star
Joined: Sept 26 2006
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Posted: July 02 2013 at 7:35pm | IP Logged
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I learned the hard way that comparison to others is a date with the devil of despair. I have tried to pick and choose the stuff that might work, but leading a very medically intense life with several medically fragile sweethearts means I flex more muscle being flexible than completely organized. We ride tides of relative calm and tides of complete survival mode. Having graduated two now, I can look back and see what has counted in the midst of this has been the Sacraments, working as a team, loving my husband and kids, and keeping my eyes on my own work
I write this not as a refutation of all these lovely, amazing ladies have shared, and many I call my dear friends, but for the mama in the trenches...the ones who are overwhelmed and exhausted...ask for the Holy Spirit to guide you in all things, pray for Mary to lead you in making your house the one God wants for your particular family. Don't despair consider threads like this has sweet conversations amongst friends eager to help and share. Your job is to take what you like and leave the rest.
__________________ Mom of four brave lads and one sweet lassie
Scenes From This and That
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