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CrunchyMom
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| Posted: Jan 06 2010 at 3:34pm | IP Logged
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My husband has asked me to be a bit more structured and accountable when it comes to schooling. Actually, he referenced a friend's post on Facebook where she was able to say "we're done with our schooling for this year" and wanted us to be able to make such statements.
After I pulled my heart out of my stomach, I was able to realize that just doing a bit more schoolish things and recording the things I don't like to and would rather not "label" as school but count in my mind as providing a rich, educational atmosphere, I think he would not long for the extreme structure of a checklist provided by a boxed curriculum.
Which, leads me to reading. Many of the programs I've looked at (namely the litany of programs provided and cited at Don Potter's site) specifically reference First Grade as the starting point for formerly teaching reading.
I tried to teach the first lesson from Blend Phonics today. I've also tried Bob books and Word Mastery. I never got past the first lesson or two because it was just frustrating for both my son and myself.
He doesn't even look at the words to try to figure out or decode them. Today, he kept looking up at the Alphabet cards border in the room as if that would provide an answer and almost didn't realize that he needed to LOOK at a word to know what it meant. Then, when I tried reviewing things, he would just start naming words at random that he remembered we'd gone over (think dad for c-a-t).
I just can't believe that reading programs are THAT varied, like if I bought a different program it would magically click but the method that Mr. Potter and countless educators have used successfully (which is free) keep my child clueless. I can't see some *appealing* more, but while he claims he wants to learn to read (he loves listening to stories and will sit for as long as we'll read to him and listen to rather advanced read alouds), I have a hard time not sounding irritated as he seems oblivious to the concept that he must LOOK at a word to know what it says.
He seems to get the concept that letters have sounds--sort of. Sometimes he barely looks at a letter and just starts guessing. I felt like Bob books were pointless because he wasn't even looking at the words (from my perception) but was looking at the pictures and reciting from rote memory.
He is 5.5 and was a rather late talker. I perceive his learning to read like he learned to talk. Not getting it, not getting it, not getting it and the straight to picking it up quickly and having an advanced vocabulary once he's ready and decides he wants to.
My only pause in feeling content and relaxed in this is that he himself has expressed wanting to learn to read.
I tell you what, though, he did NOT enjoy the reading lessons we've had, and I feel like if we started having them regularly, he would grow to hate them quickly.
I think my husband simply thinks we should be "teaching" him to read and formerly doing school--especially since he's "requested" it. However, he does not see him during the times when we do formal schoolwork. He is not focused and seems barely interested once he realizes its tricky and he isn't getting what I'm asking him to do.
And yet, he will be riveted while I read things to him, which makes me think I should just up the read alouds, record those more diligently, and still avoid any formal reading lessons for now.
If I were completely sure about my choice, I would have no problems outright expressing to my husband further my hesitations and discuss an alternative (like I just described, recording other activities) more actively. But, I guess I just doubt myself and fear that I am just giving excuses because the lessons are hard for us both and I just don't like doing hard. Am I expecting it to be too easy. Is it really a challenge to teach a child to read?
I taught myself to read watching Sesame Street before I even went to Kindergarten. I have no memory of it myself, and it always came extremely easy.
Just looking for perspectives from other seasoned homeschoolers before I come back to my husband with today's frustration.
I am tempted to show him the book with the first lessons and ask him to attempt to teach it to my son to see what he thinks. Would that be fruitful do you think?
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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Marcia
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have you tried the three period lessons (Montessori style)? Then you could work in the moveable alphabet after that.
Or 100 easy lessons have done it for my kids. My 5.5 year old son is doing all of these.....and they are short lessons 5-10 minutes per day in between lego building and jumping off the back of the couch. :)
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Marcia
Mom to six and wife to one
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SusanJ
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| Posted: Jan 06 2010 at 4:18pm | IP Logged
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Lindsay my 5yo sounds exactly like yours in every way. In our family I'm the one wanting to do more formal lessons and my dh is the one who wants to just leave it alone. We've tried making up our own lessons on white boards and BOB books and it is very painful, very slow going. He can sound out the odd word here or there and does try to write words sometimes. Maybe there's more going on there than I realize. I am hoping that one day reading will just click for my son but it's getting hard to defend this to extended family. My dh and I have no memory of learning to read and both only know we were "advanced" in kindergarten.
So, I'm all ears.
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Mom to Joseph-8, Margaret-6, William-4, Gregory-2, and new little one due 11/1
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melanie
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| Posted: Jan 06 2010 at 4:51pm | IP Logged
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Well, so far we've had one child that didn't read easily until age 7 or 8 after a couple of really frustrating years...one that learned to read easily at age 6/kindergarten...and one that taught himself to read around his 4th birthday.  My two earlier readers were late talkers. My late reader was *very* verbal very early, but she's been diagnosed with dyslexia and may not be a good example. Anyway, I think you are right, in our experience when they are ready they learn to read quite easily. Even my dyslexic just kind of "got it" at one point. Far more important is to keep their enjoyment of books alive. My late reader started out in public school and very quickly learned to hate reading/school, something that we still struggle with at age 13. I would start by working on what sounds the letters make. My son that taught himself to read, he would bring me wooden alphabet blocks and want to know what sounds each one made...he would bring me the "B" block, and I would say, "Oh, that's a B, it says "buh" like in "baby", and he would smile and toddle off to get another one, lol. Eventually he learned the sounds of them all. Then he started watching Word World on PBS kids, and I think that's what got him to realize how to put the sounds together. Heaven knows I didn't teach him that. I barely have time to feed the poor child most days.  Anyway, he just kind of took off with it from there. Now, my latest reader was a bit different. For a couple of years, she had the sounds down and she could sound out d-o-g and other short, phonetic words very slowly and painfully...it was getting it all to come together more easily that took quite a while. Anyway, just some of our experiences. Maybe if dh wants to see evidence of "real school", some "letter of the week" work, kind of along the lines of the Alphabet Path?
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Melanie
homeschooling Maria (13yo), Kain (10yo), Jack (5yo), Tess (2yo), and our newest blessing, Henry Robert, born 4/23!
slightlycrunchycatholic.blogspot.com
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ekbell
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My first thought is that you may want to rule out farsightness or another sight problem ( when trying to figure out why a child is making blind guesses it's always a good idea to rule out 'blind')
Assuming he's not having trouble seeing fine details, then I have a suggestion for something that will give you formal pre-reading lessons to tide you over until your son is ready to learn to read.
When I started teaching my oldest (who was four and badly wanting to read) I bought the Beginning to Read set of Pathway readers Pathway grade one.
The program gives a good deal of help with skills such as paying attention to separate sounds, noticing fine details and looking left to right before asking the child to combine the skills in order to read. I found that this emphasis on a number of skills was particularly handy for figuring out problems. [And the teacher's manuals were very reassuring]
We moved to a different program after finishing the Beginning to Read material but the Beginning to Read helped my daughter and I quite a bit.
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Mackfam
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My oldest dd was a late talker. Though she was quite bright, and showed great interest in learning to read, blending sounds/reading didn't *click* or *connect* for some time. I'm thinking about 6ish. At that point, she began reading with ease much like her talking progressed rapidly once she began.
I had no idea how to relax, nor was I nearly as informed as both you and Susan are. I just kept plugging along with what I was using (which was Sing, Spell, Read, Write btw, I'm certain it is a very good program, but it was my first lesson in less is more - we don't use it anymore).
I did nothing mysterious or remarkable, one day it just clicked. She had it. We started flying through phonics. I was determined not to push at all with my second. I was certain that later is better, especially for boys. So, it wasn't even on my radar when all of a sudden at an early 4, he was reading on his own. Sheez!
Sooooo...my thoughts with your son would normally be to just allow this to happen naturally. If he's not making the connection yet with blending, back off just a bit. Keep lessons VERY, VERY short. All the while keeping your observation skills very sharp to watch for readiness, eagerness, frustration, etc. Move gently and respond to his cues. Once it clicks, your son will take off. You're right not to want to make this an awful experience. If I could have given myself advice 9 years ago, I would have said, "Just relax. Approach this gently. Trust your instincts. She will read. In her own time."
I DON'T think a new program is in order, and agree with your assessment on teaching phonics. I DO think you might just need to back down a step to your son's comfort level with the program you are currently using.
However, if this relaxed, allow-this-to-unfold-naturally approach is not meeting your dh's requirements perhaps a candid and humble chat is in order. Explain your concerns. Allow him to watch a lesson unfold organically (just casually allow a lesson to happen when your dh is around - don't make a big deal in front of your son, but do let your dh know). Sit down and brainstorm this with your dh in private. Perhaps you and your dh could (or have you already?) read Better Late Than Early by the Moores. Discuss your thoughts on approaching this - that pushing will actually be counterproductive to his learning, your thoughts on the approach you have settled on, the value of consistency, gentleness and observation.
Communicate to your dh your willingness to learn to offer a bit more structure to your own days in terms of how you approach the record-keeping part of your days. This has been one of my own challenges. This was a requirement of my dh's as well, but my own style naturally tends to more relaxed in general. Translating relaxed style and approach into details on paper is challenging to me, but I've found a groove with it and a niche that works for us so I know it can be done. It may just take a lot of trial and error to find a *way/format/rhythm* so that you provide a sense of structure on paper, yet are able to be true to your own style of home education and allowing a day to unfold in an organic and natural way (I'm making an assumption here...I'm reading this into your post, please correct me if I'm wrong here). Actually, having this imposed on me in the beginning has been very helpful once the children have grown and lessons have become a bit more sophisticated. Our style is the same, but learning to *see* and *record* and even to plan ahead just a smidge (I only plan in a detailed way the week before) has been beneficial as I approach high school with my dd.
I'm not sure I've hit the right tone or offered the right info to start brainstorming with...help me out...we can refine/narrow the question, and eliminate some of my points that are superfluous and maybe get some more brainstorming going here that can point you in a workable direction.
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Jen Mackintosh
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Mackfam
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| Posted: Jan 06 2010 at 5:12pm | IP Logged
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Oh, in reading Melanie's and ekbell's helpful posts I made another connection I thought I'd mention. My own dd did have some dyslexic tendencies for some time in her early elementary years. She was never formally diagnosed, but I'm certain of it. I do think that was a factor in her abilities which translated into a later reader. It's worth the mention just so it's in your mind and you can watch for signs.
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Jen Mackintosh
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Wildflowers and Marbles
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Sarah M
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My first thought is to simply write down everything you do during the week that counts as "school". I bet your husband will be pleasantly surprised- I bet you will, too. We don't have very many days that look like "school" around here, but when I document our learning notes on my blog, I'm always flabbergasted at how much we accomplish, even when it doesn't feel very formal.
My second thought is that teaching reading should be easy, and if it's not easy, then your son isn't ready. I really think that a child who is ready to learn to blend sounds will be able to do it without frustration. I tried teaching my second daughter last year-- no luck. In fact, it was an experience similar to the one you described above. I waited until this year and she's picking it up so easily. She did express interest in reading last year, and it turned out that she was indeed wanting to read, but not ready to do the work needed to get there. So I gently put her off and then this year, it went so much more smoothly.
I'm sure your husband is just wanting to make sure that your son learns what he "ought" to learn at each level-- my husband is the same way. Perhaps a good way to approach that is reassuring your husband (gently, of course- and with some research to back you up-- Raymond Moore, perhaps?) that reading aloud to your son for another year before introducing letter sounds/phonics would be the most efficient way for him to learn to read. That your son will learn to read faster and easier (and will enjoy it far more) if you wait just a while-- and that all your reading aloud is preparing him in ways that early phonics instruction can't. Sometimes our husbands just need some reassurance, I think, that waiting a bit longer to begin some skills is not only okay, but often preferable.
And I think you're right- programs that teach to read don't vary all that much from each other. If he's not ready with one, he likely won't be all that ready for another. It may just be another exercise in frustration.
There are other formal lessons that you could offer your son that might be a bit less frustrating. I'm thinking simple math, nature study, arts & crafts, a letter of the week (like Melanie suggested). Even doing some fun simple unit studies might be formal enough to please your husband, but light enough for your son to enjoy?
As for whether having your husband give it a whirl would be fruitful... I'm not sure. It depends on teh temperament of your husband, I think. I'm pretty sure if I asked my sweet choleric guy to teach a reading lesson, he'd end the lesson with a request to put them in public school .
Hope that helps some, Lindsay.
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Sarah M
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I see that Jen and I were cross-posting and I think that what she said- expressing a willingness to structure things a bit, is really good advice. I tend to be more relaxed than my dh when it comes to these kinds of things, and he needs to know that I take his thoughts/concerns seriously.
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JodieLyn
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Lindsay can I recommend some dvd's.. LEAP FROG has Letter Factory and Talking Words Factory 1 and 2 and these are just WONDERFUL.. even my kids that otherwise couldn't do reading would enjoy watching these. And it taught the child that has a horribly difficult time with phonics the sounds of the letters(she learned to read finally by sight reading).
Also, if you can get him to focus at first and then is gets worse the longer you go. There is nothign wrong with working on reading one minute at a time.. or less.
And considering you told me you're going to look at that ADD book for organizing.. give him something to do with his hands.. a piece of playdough to squish or have him stand on one foot.. it gives him something to do with his body and may allow his mind to focus better.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
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Chris V
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Well, my graciousness! What a flood gate of opportunity I see here to learn myself  I will surely have to sit down (when not making dinner) and *really* read through all of these posts.
But, I did want to provide a little *game* of sorts that I played with my oldest, to casually help her learn phonics (without doing "lessons").
I wrote the entire alphabet, one letter at a time, on index cards (showing the appropriate captial and small letter, such as Aa on one card, Bb on the next card, etc.). Her and I would then divide up the cards between the two of us (or you can add more players if you like), and play the game as though playing a card game such as Go-Fish. I draw a card. Whatever card I drew I would have to say the letter, then the corresponding sound. If I got it right, then I got to go again (limiting it to two turns in a row); then she would draw a card from my hand and do the same thing. Now, keep in mind, if she didn't know the sound, then I would simply tell her, then let her go again (keeping it fun). I also drew some *fun* things on index cards to, like a sun-shining, or a flower, and added those to the deck of cards too (just to be able to draw something *fun*). Anyway, she gobbled it up - loved to play this everyday, and it kept learning enjoyable for both of us.
Before I knew it, she knew all the sounds (only keeping the basics of phonics in mind) ~ I was shocked one day, while her and I were reading aloud together, that she began blending the sounds (her initiative, not mine).
Anyway, just a fun little way of doing something ~ I'm always up for anything other than a workbook or a formal "lesson". Just my style.
Now, on to dinner, then to enjoy the other posts from *more* seasoned women who have traveled this road more times than I.
I've got lots to learn here too 
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Chris
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CrunchyMom
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So much great advice! Thanks so much ladies.
I think everyone's suggestions are just what is needed. My dh is a choleric, and it looks like I'm not alone. I do need to find a method for recording that I will follow. I just posted the checklist for Motivated Moms in a frame near the kitchen so dh could see it and follow as well, and though its been a week, I think that public format is working well for me for accountability (to dh AND myself) as well as a visual reminder (to my ADD self, lol). I haven't done EVERYTHING, but just recording what I have done is helpful.
So, anyway, just brainstorming about how I might translate that for our schoolwork as well. I'm envisioning a hanging clipboard maybe? So its easy to take down and write on but not contributing to horizontal clutter and getting buried!
I think that the index cards game and letter of the week a la Alphabet Path would be received well (by both ds and dh). They would probably love the videos, too (more so by ds). Actually, I'm pretty sure that if I got something like those videos, my 3.5 year old might be reading before my 5.5 year old. I actually think he might know more letters and sounds than his brother!
I have some unit study-ish and nature study ideas for the coming weeks learning about birds since ds just loves anything Thornton Burgess right now including the Bird Book. I think I'll really try to formalize that a bit incorporating some more writing practice, and I think that will satisfy dh's desires for now without needing to stress the reading lessons.
Thank you ladies for helping me realize both what I need to do (that might be hard requiring that pesky thing known as discipline) and what I can relax about!
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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CrunchyMom
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ekbell wrote:
| My first thought is that you may want to rule out farsightness or another sight problem ( when trying to figure out why a child is making blind guesses it's always a good idea to rule out 'blind') |
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Well, as a matter of fact, he has his first routine eye exam tomorrow--so, that will hopefully be ruled out very soon! I was working on the black board today, though, so unless he's actually near sighted...which, I doubt since he was actually writing the small words written under the pictures on the Alphabet wall cards trying to show me what he could read: "'b-r-s-h'...look mom, it says [slowly, as if sounding it out] paintbrush"
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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melanie
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Another cute idea...making sound boxes. We have a set, little rubbermaid containers, one for each letter of the alphabet, and put little items in each box that start with that letter. So like, in the B box, there might be a band-aid, a little rubber toy bear, a bean, etc. Now...this was a big job to put together, and I didn't do it. I am very fortunate in that my son's Godmother is a super organized Catholic homeschooler, and her youngest child is 7yo and as she outgrows stuff I get a lot of really cool hand me downs! 
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Melanie
homeschooling Maria (13yo), Kain (10yo), Jack (5yo), Tess (2yo), and our newest blessing, Henry Robert, born 4/23!
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JodieLyn
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Don't forget other skills like when you read you need to be able to scan left to right and up to down.. lining pictures or things up an then pointing and saying what each is, in the proper order of left to right and up to down for instance IS a reading skill.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
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Angel
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JodieLyn wrote:
| Don't forget other skills like when you read you need to be able to scan left to right and up to down.. lining pictures or things up an then pointing and saying what each is, in the proper order of left to right and up to down for instance IS a reading skill. |
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Along the lines of what Jodie said... my oldest ds was a late talker and a late reader. He didn't really read fluently until he was 8.5. But once he got it, he GOT it. Still, we tried a lot of things for 2 or 3 years, including a routine eye exam with a regular pediatric optamologist -- many of them actually -- all of whom said his eyes were fine.
My dd -- who was an early talker and requested reading lessons at the age of 3 -- didn't actually learn to read until she was 7. (then, just like my ds, it clicked and away she went.) Routine eye exams said her eyes were fine, too, even though she kept telling me that the letters were jumping around on the page.
I *finally* brought them both to a developmental optometrist, where we discovered that they both had problems with convergence, focus, and tracking. The right glasses (my ds has bifocals) and some vision therapy helped them both *immensely*. But the regular pediatric optamologists caught none of this.
Just an FYI if he continues to have trouble and you really do wonder if it's his eyes. I've brought my younger kids directly to the dev. optometrist at the ages iof 4 and 5, and he's caught problems with them that I am sure would never have been caught by other doctors.
Now, on the other hand, 5.5 is young and his eyes may be perfectly fine, and it's just going to take him a while to get it. My 6.5 yo has had his eyes checked out, etc., and we don't seem to be making a whole lot of progress either. He still can't remember easy sight words, like "the". We do about 15 or 20 minutes of reading work a day, with a reader and Modern Curriculum Press phonics A. I may add in Phonics Pathways at another time of day. I don't think putting in more time would help, really, because he wouldn't pay attention. He totally resists all required work, btw, but all I require is a little bit of reading, some Montessori-type math, and a little handwriting. I don't think that's hurting him, and he's free to move in and out of our days for the rest of it. But I do think that it's clear he's going to be a late reader, too, and the key is just patience.
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Angela
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melanie
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My dyslexic child also got vision therapy. She was reading by the time we found it, but VT made a big difference in her ease and comfort with reading. It was two months after VT when I found her reading a book volutarily for the very first time. She was in 4th grade. I took a picture. It was *very* expensive, at least by our budget, and she went for 9 months. It hurt.  It was worth it, but it hurt at the time. It's my understanding that some school districts provide this, and if yours does then they are required to make it available to homeschoolers, but, here at least, they have to be two grade levels behind first, so no child would qualify until third grade...and our district doesn't have it anyway. I wouldn't run for it for a five year old, certainly, but just sharing what one of ours ended up needing.
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Melanie
homeschooling Maria (13yo), Kain (10yo), Jack (5yo), Tess (2yo), and our newest blessing, Henry Robert, born 4/23!
slightlycrunchycatholic.blogspot.com
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ALmom
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| Posted: Jan 07 2010 at 10:36am | IP Logged
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Lindsay:
5.5 is very young. Informal, fun ways to approach reading at this point with out a lot of visual stress seems to be most in order. I am a very firm believer in Dr. Moore's research about not stressing the visual system before integration. We have had a varied experience with all of our children - but even my one child who did not have any vision issues, reading is just now happening at almost 8. That doesn't mean we didn't do things - just not very schoolish. I'm choleric and an inveterate planner so I have a bit of an idea of the need to "See the goal and the steps to it" in order to begin to feel like we aren't just spinning around or goofing off or getting lost. I just stress with no plans. But plans don't have to equate to workbook and they are not locked in concrete - and should be very realistic based on where your child is. I cannot do my job of guiding without plans (because of my temperment) and perhaps your dh is really doing a wonderful thing in trying to be a good support and responsible steward of the family and environment. I'm sure being able to sit down and figure out what you all need and coming up with a realistic and simple way to meet all the needs will help everyone provide the kind of support needed and provide for the most positive learning. Just some ideas of what might be included on a reading plan:
Some of the reading readiness activities -
Simon says - left right awareness
Twister -
follow the leader - left right awareness
Some puzzle type games or hands on games that involve starting top to bottom and left to right. These we most often combined with Montessori type activities such as tweezer work, spooning, eye dropper. A lot of these develop the pincer grip and also the top/bottom and left/right plus eye hand integration. Also included in here would be any of those puzzle books that involve finding the hidden items, seeing what is different,etc. These are visual discrimination type activities and also involve practice with eye movement.
Walking along a curb (eye integration)
We played a phonics game similiar to the one described in the post above. We had an actual deck of cards from an old Sing Spell Read and Write. You can also play bingo using letter sounds, letter blends, words, etc. Obviously the game is suited where the child has a fun challenge but not stressed.
We have also done things like have scavenger hunts - find me objects that begin with the (whatever sound). This takes the visual stress out and you know whether they are connecting the sound with the object. Then you can add in something like a very large A (or whatever letter) written on a piece of construction paper. They can cut out pictures of things they see that start with the letter on the paper - and then glue these on. (Now my children sometimes came up with bizzare things to glue on. I asked them what the picture was of - just in case they were calling it something else, like my son who called anything that scared him a Ruh Rah. If it is not something that goes on the paper, I will pronounce the word very, very slowly with huge emphasis on the first letter so they get it and we might make another construction sheet for whatever appropriate letter and glue it on this other one. Eventually, they have an alphabet book. We kept it light and fun.
We also bought some little colored pencil type boxes and put words and objects in there. You can write the words as big as you want on these. We have drawers of similiar things with just letters and objects. We set a week for a letter and did all kinds of fun things.- so when we were working on the letter D, we had doughnuts. I promise you, that reinforced the sound quite well with my sugar addicted child :)
Periodically, after the child achieved complete mastery of beginning sounds, we would introduce some fun blending activities or picking out ending or middle sounds. We might work with introducing vowels and consonents using a homemade moveable alphabet and word and picture cards. I brought these out, introduced them - but if the child was simply frustrated, we simply left it and went back to reinforcing the other. Then all of a sudden, everything came together and one day we pulled out the word/picture box and he went through almost every word. Then he wanted to read a book. We tackled a very phonetic reader at this point since those would be the ones he was confident on.
My personal experience with reading :
oldest dd - read early, flew through things and had pretty much taught herself letter sounds and was attempting to write letters by 5/6. She read early. We later discovered (as a teen) that she got sick to her stomach after 20 minutes of close work, that she did not know how to relax her eyes. (We did some therapy to work on this and eliminated the getting sick to your stomach) She is a fine and competent reader. She doesn't like to read much.
next dd - tried all different programs to teach reading. None worked. I even went out and bought large wooden letters and we worked with these. I would start and back off and followed Moores idea - but when she was 7/8 and no signs of getting close to doing anything seatwork and definitely not reading, instinct told us something was wrong. It took us about 2 years to discover the problem - but developmental optometrist diagnosed and we did therapy to correct the problem. She went from not reading at all (just laboriously sounding out cat) to reading at grade level at age 10 without any reading training once the vision therapy was completed. She is an avid and extraordinary reader now, and whenever she wants to know about something, she will check out and read abundantly on the subject. Our biggest headache with her is finding out that she is reading late into the wee hours. She also went from total reversals to beautiful script and self corrected her own print with ease immediately after therapy. She has the best cursive in the family and writes it smoothly and comfortably.
Next child - figured we weren't even going to bother with anything based on similiar symptoms and diagnosis. We waited to complete therapy and then began reading training. We delayed the start of school by 1 year - only beginning when the state makes me record. This child reads everything for pleasure - even stuff that most don't read unless it is on a list of have to read. Writing took longer and we did do some other things for integrating left -right etc.
next child - decided that all of our other children had the vision issues (not using eyes together) and we just assumed this one would. Had him tested early and against optometrists advice, we chose to do therapy early (at 5) knowing we would probably have to redo it later. Our idea was that, since our children were not using eyes together at 5, they missed out on a not of normal development in terms of visial processing. We figured that doing therapy early, would give him the window to develop normally, but there are things you just cannot do like lens work with a young child so the underlying muscle problem would eventually cause the same problems again and we'd do the therapy again when he was older and we could address everything. What we have seen (child is now almost 13) confirms us in our choice. He taught himself to read by pointing at words and asking siblings what they were. I had no idea and do not know exactly what age - too busy doing therapy with 3 people. I discovered it sometime before formal schooling - so before he turned 8. He taught himself to read using Lord of the Rings. We hit a wall where he just got tired eyes, didn't write much at all and petered out and took forever to do work. He also seemed to struggle with the bigger books - ie smaller print size, more closely spaced stuff - wouldn't move from picture books. We had him retested and re did therapy. We also discovered near sightedness and astigmatism at this point. We kept visual stress low, used reading glasses afterwards. He reads fine - just mostly in science. He took off in all areas at 10, once therapy was completed, and he was wearing reading glasses. He is an amazing self learner - but learns most by doing. We have had to work at teaching reading between the lines in literature, and writing in complete sentences, etc.
next child - almost 10 and still in vision therapy. He is reading fine, but the visual stress, tired eyes makes normal work take too long. We have been creative with less schoolish stuff and I am still trying to find a solution to reading other than me reading aloud. He can and does read - but I cannot strain his visual system. We did therapy with this one early, had far sightedness and astigmatism. He reads fine, but eyes pretty much tire before he can read much so we have to be very careful about not creating visual strain. We are working on exercises and in process of re-evaluating what to do for "school".
7 almost 8 year old clearly has no vision problems - but we have been having him checked regularly by the developmental optometrist. Last year, he was still a tad far sighted and we simply avoided any kind of print or formal work knowing that. We still have been teaching and have found that training the memory (poetry recitation and memorization aka MODG style), memorizing ten commandments .... These are all the main elements of his school at the moment. He just now connected the sounding out of words and has been flying. Writing/spelling - we do that in the air with a finger, in kitty litter in a tray tracing a letter, or using magnetic letters or the moveable alphabet.
One thing to keep in mind as you work with your child is that young children normally do start out far sighted and gradually vision comes into focus for close up as well. Doing a lot of close visual work prior to when the eyes do naturally come together and focus at normal close distance is one of the sources of problems and can strain the visual system to the point of shutting things down. Of course, there are folks who simply will never develop comfortable close vision regardless and these folks have to be supported with glasses in close work. There are also various learning difficulties and vision issues that may be present hereditarily even if you do not stress the visual system - and these would have to be addressed at some point. Be attentive to the real needs of your child. The fact that he wants to read but is frustrated may be simply that his eyes aren't quite ready for formal work. You can do plenty of reading using much larger print size, informally and in very short (5 min. or less) spurts. You'll probably have some clues after his eye test -but be aware that most optometrists don't really pay that close attention to far-sightedness. I still drive 2 hours for regular eye exams with our developmental optometrist for all my far sighted children. I use the local optometrist for the rest of us.
Janet
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Barbara C.
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| Posted: Jan 07 2010 at 12:18pm | IP Logged
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Research shows that most kids learn to read between 4 and 8 with the average age being around 6. Boys are often later readers than girls. Just like schools tend to throw this information out the window, even us homeschooling parents feel the pressure to have our kids reading early to prove that we can teach our own kids such things.
My oldest asked to read at 4, but after much frustration I realized that she was just not neurologically ready. And I think it killed her desire to read. We tried a much slower approach starting around age 5 1/2. There were good days and bad days. Then this last semester, at age 6 1/2, her reading just took off and I couldn't help wondering if our earlier lessons were really even worth it.
With my second (age 4) I am trying to step back and see how much she picks up on her own. We play phonics games, she plays on starfall.com, and she plays school with her big sister. But I am very hesitant to start any formal lessons until she's at least 6.
I never really got into the Moore books, but I think the "better late than early" approach may be right on for reading...and potty training.
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Barbara
Mom to "spirited" dd(9), "spunky" dd (6), "sincere" dd (3), "sweet" dd (2), and baby girl #5 born 8/1/12!!
Box of Chocolates
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Bethany
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| Posted: Jan 07 2010 at 1:23pm | IP Logged
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I'll just second some of what Barbara and Janet wrote. I started formally with my oldest at about 5.5 yo also. I could tell she wasn't really all that ready and we have been hit or miss since then with any kind of instruction (she's 7.5 now). She's reading much better, but I wouldn't call her fluent. Looking back I really regret that I even tried before about 7. We both just became frustrated and I think she now has a negative perception of her reading ability. I also think she can read better by herself than she does when she's reading alound to me. Oh, and she didn't say a word, hardly any sounds, before she was 2. Not really late, but not what all the "experts" would like. But, from the time she was 12 months old she would sit for hours, literally, and be read to. To this day, she would sit and have me read all day if I could.
I just recently read Better Late, than Early by the Moores and The Homeschool Answer Book by Ruth Beechick and they both just confirmed that my not pushing was OK and I shouldn't be overly worried. Actually, after reading the Beechick book I felt pretty good about where she was because it was right in line, or ahead, of what she said to expect in children my daughters age.
I worried a lot over the past two years about her reading. It usually coincides with a visit from my MIL . But in the back of my mind I've always thought, "Do I really think she won't read?!" And the answer is absolutely not! I just can't even see that happening with as much as I read to her, how she "reads" books on her own and all the books on CD she listens to. I just have to give up my timeline, my MIL timeline, or the modern societal timeline.
One more thing that helped me to let go of some of the anxiety was in the Moore's book. They talk about how at such a young age it takes so much effort to learn to read compared to the ease with which it can be mastered when they are older. This effort keeps them from spending time learning other things of value. They can learn so much be you reading to them, instead of dirlling them in phonics when they're not quite ready.
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Bethany
Wife to Mike, Mommy to Amelia (6/02), Sarah (10/03), Martha Grace (10/05), Rebecca Anne (12/07), Laura Catherine (3/10) and Reed Michael 7/4/14.
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: Reading Readiness
