| Author | |
Kristie 4
Forum All-Star
Joined: June 20 2006
Location: Canada
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1508
|
| Posted: Nov 13 2009 at 9:07pm | IP Logged
|
 |
|
I don't know what it is but I can't seem to pull of the homeschooling this year. I am tired of the 'simple year' of the three r's that seems to be all we have been able to barely hack out for so long. I feel like I am ripping my two youngers off as I seem to have to follow my 12 and 14 year olds around constantly and their work is so weak this year. It is 9pm and my son is still at work- we have always been done by around 2 so this is just so crazy. I am at my whits end....and I feel like my expectations are so low that I am freaked out about what they can't do constantly this year (and this is year 10- you would think I would have figured it out).
I am overwhelmed and thought I could humble myself here- I can't seem to be able to come up for air this year and the joy is gone...
__________________
Kristie in Canada
Mom to 3 boys and one spunky princess!!
A Walk in the Woods
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
lapazfarm
Forum All-Star
Joined: July 21 2005
Location: Alaska
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 6082
|
| Posted: Nov 13 2009 at 9:42pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Is there a possibility you could dump the 3 R's for a while and do something more engaging for a limited time?
I mean, the 3 R's are important and all, but I find that it isn't very inspiring if that's all we do. That's like a solid diet of ground beef, potatoes and green beans every day, you know? Sure, it's nourishing the body, but what about the soul? Maybe it's time for some "soul food!"LOL!
I'm not saying you should stop with the R's forever. Just thinking it sounds like you need a break to re-energize yourself.
How about a month of art or science or....whatever brings you and your kids joy?
__________________
Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Maddie
Forum All-Star
Joined: Dec 27 2005
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1804
|
| Posted: Nov 13 2009 at 10:05pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Maybe you could do the 3 R's for four days a week and take Friday off to spend doing stuff with little guys? Your older ones could do something light on that day as well and make it a learning but fun and relaxed day.
__________________
~Maddie~
Wife to my dh and Momma of 9 dear ones
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
ekbell
Forum All-Star
Joined: May 22 2009
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 747
|
| Posted: Nov 13 2009 at 10:42pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
If they are working so late can your husband help out?
My husband is home in the morning when I'm doing school and he will help out if one child is taking longer then expected. Sometimes a dad tutoring session is just the ticket!
Taking the Advent and Christmas seasons off from formal lessons is a perfectly reasonable thing to do. Spend time in prayer and with good books and music. Prepare for christmas and make plenty of good food for Christmas (or do whatever handiwork you and the children find soothing)
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
joann10
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 10 2007
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3493
|
| Posted: Nov 13 2009 at 10:53pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
We are also floundering right now---our schedule has gotten so crazy with all the sickness, and the 3 and 4 year old seem to be especially demanding right now, our school-kids seem to be getting nothing done.
We are doing "bare-bones" right now, but I am going to plan next week for dh to work with the kids in the evening a couple nights a week so that at least we will still be moving forward instead of slipping backward.
I think for Advent and Christmas we are only going to read aloud, craft, bake, (I make the 8 and 9 year old kids write 1 sentence a day-and then we correct it) and a tiny bit of math review 2 or 3 days a week, (and I mean a tiny bit). This holy season is the perfect time for regrouping, forgetting previous expectations, and trying to relax together as a family.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Gloria JMJ
Forum All-Star
Joined: Sept 07 2008
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 545
|
| Posted: Nov 14 2009 at 10:20am | IP Logged
|
|
|
My entire homeschooling experience has been like that  . I have just about never been able to get my dc 'into' school and have had to fight the whole way practically. They are only happy when they are reading the books that I bring home from the library. I guess that's one R, but their writing is atrocious (exept for twin A) and they really need to improve in thei math skills as they are behind. I can't afford to buy things for school or I would get more educational games and things like that, so I feel stuck.
OK, I'm sorry if I hijacked this post...it just all poured out. Pushing send before I change my mind.
__________________
Smoothing Stones Holy Family Rosaries
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Kristie 4
Forum All-Star
Joined: June 20 2006
Location: Canada
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1508
|
| Posted: Nov 14 2009 at 10:59am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Gloria, you didn't pour out! I did!!!
Those are all great suggestions. I can see that for some of the kids backing off would be good but I also have highschool age kids and it is easier said than done...
Also, I feel like I have backed off so much that alot of the stress is coming from there in the first place- for example: One child is an atrocious speller and needs serious help with writing, so backing off and just reading aloud would make me more stressed, not less, right now (although it is an EXCELLENT suggestion for burn out times and I have given it tons of times so I am not knocking it- it just wouldn't help here at this time).
But I can see how I need to reenergize the scene as well. I also need to be respecting my kids and where they are at (OUCH!).
Our biggest bear right now is the morning routine- it was fine with one kids, good with two, alright with 3, but with four kids now I am dragging each of them through it and our day takes forever to start. It goes something like me dragging them out of bed, waffling between 'Oh they look so cozy in their pjs with their lego' and 'PLeeeeeease get a move on!', breakfast, chores, more feet dragging, prayers, then by now I am wiped out (did I mention I just had knee surgery and am supposed to be flat out for a few hours a day at least (not easy for a get things done type of person!). I can see that the morning routine needs streamlining, as does the day, but I just can't seem to think now that I have four ones with some 'to do's' for their days (I am AWFUL at transitions and this transition to having children at so many different ability levels has left me so immobilized).
I have scoured the net for ideas but it leaves me feeling often more stressed.
I had a good sleep last night though for the first time since my surgery and I am feeling not quite so despondent as last night when I first posted (I still blush at my complete honesty in that post....)
Oh, and Theresa, the Marine Biology is a light these days! My dd is enjoying it so much and we need to put some pictures up once I get my camera fixed (we are on project week next week). Her only heartbreak is that we don't live by the ocean anymore so we are mostly just doing the research, journalling, and optional experiments (and trying to remember all the wonderful things we discovered when we did live on the ocean).
__________________
Kristie in Canada
Mom to 3 boys and one spunky princess!!
A Walk in the Woods
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
lapazfarm
Forum All-Star
Joined: July 21 2005
Location: Alaska
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 6082
|
| Posted: Nov 14 2009 at 11:58am | IP Logged
|
|
|
I'm glad you are enjoying the marine biology. It is a shame you are not near the ocean. We tend to do the hands-on stuff first and skip the bookwork if time is limited. Makes the course much more enjoyable. Have you thought of ordering some preserved specimens from Carolina Biological? They have just about everything. Or your dd could put a salt-water aquarium together as a project. Then she could at least observe some living critters.I love aquariums. They create a mood which is so soothing, you know? Just a thought.
__________________
Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Kristie 4
Forum All-Star
Joined: June 20 2006
Location: Canada
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1508
|
| Posted: Nov 14 2009 at 1:24pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
What I am really trying to do is get us down to Florida for a week in the winter as my parents spend a few months down there each winter or out to my inlaws as they are on the Sunshine Coast in B.C. (Or to France to the coast there where my brother is....or to PEI to my other brother's place- Sheeesh, seeems like my whole family is on the coast except me  )
Great idea with the saltwater aquarium- that would be an awesome project for project week!!
__________________
Kristie in Canada
Mom to 3 boys and one spunky princess!!
A Walk in the Woods
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
ekbell
Forum All-Star
Joined: May 22 2009
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 747
|
| Posted: Nov 14 2009 at 2:45pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Kristie 4 wrote:
Our biggest bear right now is the morning routine- it was fine with one kids, good with two, alright with 3, but with four kids now I am dragging each of them through it and our day takes forever to start. It goes something like me dragging them out of bed, waffling between 'Oh they look so cozy in their pjs with their lego' and 'PLeeeeeease get a move on!', breakfast, chores, more feet dragging, prayers, then by now I am wiped out (did I mention I just had knee surgery and am supposed to be flat out for a few hours a day at least (not easy for a get things done type of person!). I can see that the morning routine needs streamlining, as does the day, but I just can't seem to think now that I have four ones with some 'to do's' for their days (I am AWFUL at transitions and this transition to having children at so many different ability levels has left me so immobilized).
|
|
|
My children are not morning people so our morning routine is *very* streamlined.
I start the night before by making sure that there is a general pickup and tidy, making sure we have everything we need for lessons and sorting all needed material into the proper piles (Morning devotion pile, seat work pile, couch time pile).
Necessary clothes are set out for the morning.
In the morning
I wake up, get dressed and start breakfast in the microwave(oatmeal made with milk, with added raisins) start coffee, say my prayers and then place the necessary dishes on the table. [30 to 40 minutes]
The children are called down to breakfast while I fix my coffee. (don't come, the food gets cold). [20 to 30 minutes my coffee and breakfast included]
I go on my morning walk (children finish breakfast, get dressed). [20 minutes]
When I come back, I finish clearing the table (normally the children clear off their own dishes), make sure that the youngest children are dressed appropriately and then we start morning devotions. [10 minutes or so if I've remembered to set out clothes for the one and three year old]
[How children who are old enough to dress themselves dress is their own business, I don't care as long as they are covered.]
Chores are done later in the day when the children and I are better fitted for it (see evening pickup).
My main objective is to start the day with prayer and have a morning walk. I need light and exercise if I want to feel up to doing more then curling up and drowsing the winter away.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Paula in MN
Forum All-Star
Joined: Nov 25 2006
Location: Minnesota
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 4064
|
| Posted: Nov 14 2009 at 2:53pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
The only thing I can add is that my kids have to do chores in the morning before breakfast - or they don't eat until lunch time. It took them once to learn this lesson, and our mornings have been a breeze for years.
__________________
 Paula
A Catholic Harvest
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
lapazfarm
Forum All-Star
Joined: July 21 2005
Location: Alaska
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 6082
|
| Posted: Nov 14 2009 at 4:01pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I find this very interesting! So different from our mornings, which seem totally relaxed by comparison.
I just love to hear about the ways other families do things, and how very different we all are.
__________________
Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
ekbell
Forum All-Star
Joined: May 22 2009
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 747
|
| Posted: Nov 14 2009 at 6:35pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I find my mornings fairly relaxed, mainly because the only thinking I do for the first hour and a half is while I'm praying and reading, everything else is habit.
I can either follow a routine in the morning or I'll just drift through the morning and the next thing I know it's eleven o'clock and all I've managed to do is eat breakfast. 
I should point out that I normally get up around 8:30 AM and the children are called downstairs for breakfast around 9AM, Morning devotions are normally around 10.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Maddie
Forum All-Star
Joined: Dec 27 2005
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1804
|
| Posted: Nov 14 2009 at 6:47pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
This happens all to frequently around here to us too. I find the biggest boost to fulfilling my duties is to focus on our spiritual life. Daily Mass a couple times a week, Rosary, etc all seem to get the graces flowing and I can actually do the "impossible" as God is helping me. I can't do it without grace, it really is beyond anything I can do alone. 
A priest I knew once encouraged me to get the Angelus incorporated into our day and I whined and said I can't do what I'm doing now, Father, (you silly bachelor  ) but I followed his advice and I was so blessed by making prayer the priority.
__________________
~Maddie~
Wife to my dh and Momma of 9 dear ones
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Kristie 4
Forum All-Star
Joined: June 20 2006
Location: Canada
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1508
|
| Posted: Nov 14 2009 at 8:09pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Sounds like a good one Paula!!
Thank you for your peak into your mornings...I will be keeping it in mind...
__________________
Kristie in Canada
Mom to 3 boys and one spunky princess!!
A Walk in the Woods
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Angie Mc
Board Moderator
Joined: Jan 31 2005
Location: Arizona
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 11400
|
| Posted: Nov 16 2009 at 7:40pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Kristie, I've read your OP and skimmed...
I had similar feelings when my first was in 8th or 9th grade. During one of our exchanges I found myself saying something like, "We need some excellence around here!" Since then, in addition to the basics (which we do take breaks from) we've found much relief in striving for excellence in some capacity. Off the top of my head, excellence and expertice has shown itself here via...
Thomas Jefferson
Pride and Prejudice
Baseball
Cooking
Karate
Classic Literature
Movie Genres
Writing Poetry
Discussing Politics
...to name a few. What has been a ton of fun has been watching my oldest (who is finishing up high school at home and is enrolled full time at the local community college) use these areas of excellence as a key factor to success! From building relationships with her professors by talking about baseball or reading her poetry at an honor's gathering, these "informal" strengths have been such a blessing.
What I learned is that we didn't need to buckle down and to *more* basics or become more formal, but rather, we needed to pump out the basics efficiently and effectively to get to the joy and God's unique call for each child.
Hang in there, Mom! You're doing great...and hard...work!
Love,
__________________
Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
About Me
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Mackfam
Board Moderator
Non Nobis
Joined: April 24 2006
Location: Alabama
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 14656
|
| Posted: Nov 16 2009 at 9:08pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
It was this part of your post, Kristie, that caught my eye and grabbed my heart. It will take time to find your way back to joy, but I think that is where I'd focus my energy.
Having years as you describe doesn't seem too unusual - it sounds like a survival type year and everyone has them from time to time - there is still beauty and great joy to be had in those years. Find yourself entrenched in massive burnout and you could feel like your living in survival zone for a LONG time and that can become draining. But, the joy. You've got to be able to see that.
In times that I feel I'm losing a sense of joy in the everyday I seek to guard my thoughts and my imagination very carefully. One of the ways I do this is to stop looking around anywhere. I'm not someone that needs to do this with any regularity, and it's not because I feel overwhelmed with the beauty lived so faithfully and in such inspiring ways in other homes, it's because I need to foster quiet in order to hear the prompting of the Holy Spirit. It's really about quiet.
I start allowing myself to go back in my mind to simpler, quieter days, to days that evoke a smile. I ask myself what was significant about that time?
:: Why was there such joy there?
:: What is missing?
:: Have I turned my back on a philosophy of learning that informed our days in a gentle and reassuring way?
:: In reflecting on time spent, has my own attitude become so knitted and tangled with angst and concern that I'm knotted in a way that I can no longer find gentle words for the children or the family or the day?
:: What variables are out of my control? Children grow. Older children offer a newer, more challenging set of problems. Medical issues within a family or needing to offer more time or emotional energy anywhere equals a withdrawal from that bank. This is the time to carefully guard joy and protect it with all vigilance. It will be an oasis in times of crisis.
:: What variables are within my control? Discipline issues? Issues of habit training? Clutter control? A flexible, but livable routine/rhythm to the day?
Where does joy live for you?
I wonder if you could sit down and reflect with your husband, your children, and most importantly in prayer, reflect on your days and those things that are an obstacle to joy. The 3R's are just fine as long as they are conveyed and lived out in great joy. I suspect that if you find the joy for this vocation of great worth, you will begin to see new possibilities for your days and renewed vigor.
I hope this doesn't seem flippant in any way, Kristie! Please know that I didn't mean it in that way at all! I find the many different expressions of homeschooling in individual homes so beautiful, but when I hear of another sister who has lost her joy my heart aches! There is such beauty here in this vocation! I'm praying with all my heart that you find your joy. 
Now...a couple of practicals...
Kristie 4 wrote:
Our biggest bear right now is the morning routine
...
(I am AWFUL at transitions and this transition to having children at so many different ability levels has left me so immobilized). |
|
|
This just sounds like some habit training is needed. Start figuring out when you'd like everyone done with breakfast and morning chores and work backwards from that point - backfill chores, getting dressed, hygiene, breakfast, getting up.
Now, for your morning routine and the age spread challenge, can you identify one thing that all your children enjoy? Nature study reading? Picture book read alouds? Reading poetry together? Reading Shakespeare together aloud? If you think about it I bet you'll find some common things. My 4 yo won't stay for everything, but our morning routine consists of a morning basket of work that I built exactly for the reason you list - because I wanted something that would gently usher everyone into the day's work. Call it whatever you like, but if you can find a couple of things that everyone enjoys together, do that first and allow it to anchor your day.
This type of thing will need you to reflect and brainstorm and build on an idea...but it won't come out of the oven looking perfect and pretty! Plan on your morning routine having some holes and issues. It'll take living it a bit to take time to make a few simple changes, live it some more, bend it a bit more to fit better, until you have something that is an echo of your own family!
to you, Kristie! I'm praying for you!
__________________
Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Angie Mc
Board Moderator
Joined: Jan 31 2005
Location: Arizona
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 11400
|
| Posted: Nov 17 2009 at 10:13am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Mackfam wrote:
In times that I feel I'm losing a sense of joy in the everyday I seek to guard my thoughts and my imagination very carefully. One of the ways I do this is to stop looking around anywhere. I'm not someone that needs to do this with any regularity, and it's not because I feel overwhelmed with the beauty lived so faithfully and in such inspiring ways in other homes, it's because I need to foster quiet in order to hear the prompting of the Holy Spirit. It's really about quiet.
|
|
|
Amen!
Three saints help me tremendously to find peace and help me sort out my priorities which, for now, are heavily about tending to private matters.
Mother Mary is all about peace and keeping my eyes upon Jesus - not on me and my shortcomings or the frustrations of running a full household - not on public matters that disturb my peace.
St. Therese, the Little Flower, and her Little Way, tended to her soul in a very private manner, admist community and obligations. She stayed very close to Jesus regardless of external challenges. She prayed for public matters but she didn't break her peace or her daily duties.
St. John Bosco, was more public yet his joy and happiness, as well as his philosophy, in being with children is such an example of seeing Jesus in our children.
I failed to mention that our individual/family areas of excellence and expertice, we see, as God's calling for each of us. We choose these areas based on prayerful discernment, interest, talent, passion, opportunity, and discussion with each other. Quiet...stopping...prayer...is key to discerning God's will for each of us.
There can be joy in ease and fun...pain and suffering...duty and challenge. Praise God for the many ways he draws us near.
Love,
__________________
Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
About Me
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
JuliaT
Forum All-Star
Joined: June 25 2006
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 563
|
| Posted: Nov 17 2009 at 11:59am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Ladies, I thank you for your responses to Kristie's OP. They have ministered to me greatly. I have recently come out on the victorious side of a cancer struggle and I feel like I am floundering trying to get back into the swing of things. All of your replies have helped me put some things into focus.
Kristie, thank you for your honesty in posting this. In asking for help, you have helped me as well.
Blessings,
Julia
mom of 3 (10,8,6)
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Kristie 4
Forum All-Star
Joined: June 20 2006
Location: Canada
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1508
|
| Posted: Nov 17 2009 at 12:27pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I am glad Julia...and congratulations on your victory! I pray that you will find your stride and be easy on yourself...
__________________
Kristie in Canada
Mom to 3 boys and one spunky princess!!
A Walk in the Woods
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
|
|
Forum Locked) 
4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: Can't seem to pull it off...
