Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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Bookswithtea
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Posted: Aug 04 2008 at 4:43pm | IP Logged Quote Bookswithtea

Warning: Rant

So, today I finally started to read Pocketful of Pinecones. Its my Mother Culture book for the month. And I instantly found myself thinking, "Oh sure, you can do these wonderful, relaxing nature study days because no one is hanging over your shoulder making sure you get all the way through Albra II (at a minimum), be able to write 20 page research papers, cover every century of history since time began, cover science all the way through Physics, be a competent typist...well, you get the point.

I am jealous. I wish we didn't have to teach so darn *much*. I already use living books, consider myself "better late than early" and a relaxed homeschooler. I don't spend hours on grammar or spelling, or try to teach latin to 7 yr olds. Still, there is so much to cover that I don't feel like I do enough of the things I'd really love to do...like bake bread every week, or take a few days every month to do once a month cooking with my dd's, or get back into sewing and teach my girls that, too. We get too far behind when we do that.

I dunno. Sometimes I wish I was Caroline Ingalls. She got to focus on her family, tend to her chickens, teach her little girls to read and write and then knit by the fire in the evenings. Life is too fast now...

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Posted: Aug 04 2008 at 4:49pm | IP Logged Quote JodieLyn

and milk the cow and churn the butter and make the cheese and preserve everything and render fat and make candles and

I've thought if I could just get rid of enough stuff.. but then the part that was raised by my grandmother(grew up depression era) starts into yelling.. but I could use that, or what if I can't get a new this, or I might need that in 5 or 10 years..

and even worse the little niggly conspiracy theory voice that warns about what "they" might think if my kids don't have toys and games and such.. after all if "they" came here and found that my kids were "deprived" would "they" decide to get a court to agree with them and take my kids away?

Sometimes I don't know if I should laugh at myself or cry.

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Posted: Aug 04 2008 at 4:51pm | IP Logged Quote lapazfarm

Books, I can totally relate. But I wonder what it is that makes you feel you *have* to teach so much that you don't have time for these things you feel are important.
Is it state regulations or testing or something that is hanging over your head?

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Elizabeth
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Posted: Aug 04 2008 at 4:56pm | IP Logged Quote Elizabeth

I ALWAYS wish I were Caroline Ingalls in oh-so-many ways. Always.

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sewcrazy
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Posted: Aug 04 2008 at 5:06pm | IP Logged Quote sewcrazy

lapazfarm wrote:
But I wonder what it is that makes you feel you *have* to teach so much that you don't have time for these things you feel are important.
Is it state regulations or testing or something that is hanging over your head?


Actually it is my DH He was educated in th eclassical manner by Benedictine monks and feels strongly about all that info, and the extreme academic discpline. I relax as much as he can handle.

But yes I too think I was born in the wrong time. We live in information overload. The expectations are higher than most children can meet. Children are being taught Algebra without knowing how to add, every culture in the world without knowing their own faith. I think we all need to slow down. My kids at least, need to truly KNOW more about less.

Sigh, now I am ranting.

LeeAnn



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Posted: Aug 04 2008 at 5:13pm | IP Logged Quote guitarnan

Books, I wish you could meet my friend Michelle - that is totally her catch phrase, word for word. (She wants to be Abigail Adams, though - colonial America all the way.)

I do feel like I have to teach SAT test prep, physics, etc., mostly because I want my son to be prepared for college so he doesn't drop out and enlist in the Army so he can drive tanks.    I worry that he will find college too challenging if he doesn't start out with decent writing and analytical skills, or that he won't get into a college we can afford (more ) unless his transcript is nice and solid.

I am probably over-worrying and over-planning, but I've watched some of ds's friends really flounder in college and end up partying, failing classes because they can't write, etc. It's worrisome.

I am taking time to teach my daughter the homemaking skills she so desperately wants to learn...cooking (she is proficient at 10, but can't reach the mixing bowls!), sewing, knitting, etc. My son is learning woodworking and auto repair. We're definitely making progress on the life skills side. I just wish state educational requirements didn't ALSO require four years of darn near everything and three of everything else. It takes the fun out of learning, IMHO.

Caroline didn't have warm showers...one of the few drawbacks to a truly independent life...and, maybe it's a topic for a new thread, but I think most moms could learn a lot from Caroline. She was such a great mom! So wise and devout and loving. I know Laura wrote her Little House books as a tribute to her Pa, but they really reflect her true love and admiration for her Ma, as well.

I need to re-read the books now. I could use the inspiration. Caroline didn't have to worry about sisters-in-law with custody issues...perhaps her approach to life in general can help me untangle all the goofiness I currently face.

Great topic - I need it.

WWCD? (What Would Caroline Do?)

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Bookswithtea
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Posted: Aug 04 2008 at 5:22pm | IP Logged Quote Bookswithtea

JodieLyn wrote:
and milk the cow and churn the butter and make the cheese and preserve everything and render fat and make candles and


...but that sounds like fun, in comparison to gerunds and F=MA...

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Bookswithtea
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Posted: Aug 04 2008 at 5:24pm | IP Logged Quote Bookswithtea

lapazfarm wrote:
Books, I can totally relate. But I wonder what it is that makes you feel you *have* to teach so much that you don't have time for these things you feel are important.
Is it state regulations or testing or something that is hanging over your head?


Don't you feel like the whole American society is convinced that if children don't get at least 8 yrs of college, they won't make enough money to feed their own families? Mind you, I don't buy that (way too many tradesman making lots more money than those with degrees), but still...how do you "graduate" a child who doesn't have these subjects that everyone expects to see, even if you teach them in more interesting ways?

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Posted: Aug 04 2008 at 5:24pm | IP Logged Quote KerryK

I've always thought I was born in the wrong time. When I was young, I wished I was Laura, now that I'm a mom, I wish I was Caroline!

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Bookswithtea
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Posted: Aug 04 2008 at 5:25pm | IP Logged Quote Bookswithtea

Elizabeth wrote:
I ALWAYS wish I were Caroline Ingalls in oh-so-many ways. Always.


...Except I see you as a southern belle Caroline Ingalls...

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Posted: Aug 04 2008 at 5:25pm | IP Logged Quote nissag

I've always said I was born in the wrong century, too. Then I remember how much I appreciate indoor plumbing...



Seriously, though... I long for a slower pace of life. To some extent, I feel I'm succeeding. When I talk to other moms I know (who don't homeschool), I realize just how crazy busy they are, and how quiet our life seems in comparison.

Still, I long for the days we lived in England. The pace of life was, perhaps still is, much slower. We lived just outside the racing town of Newmarket. The streets were rolled up at 5PM or so. Folks went home to an evening in with family and friends. NOTHING was open on Sunday except for the church and the pub. We lunched with friends in the garden during the summer, took long walks on public footpaths, or took the train in to London if we really needed some bustle. Even then, we made our way to Kensington Gardens to let the children play while we people-watched, then had sandwiches before heading home again...

When we came back to the States, all we wanted to do was cower in a corner. We couldn't take the pace. It felt like everything all the time. UGH.

If Brian so much as suggested going back to the UK, I'd be packed and out the door before he could finish. S-L-O-W. Love it. I often say I'm homesick for England. I felt more at home there than I have anywhere else.

Still, I'd love to put on one of those Empire dresses once in a while. Sit in the drawing room embroidering while someone reads aloud. Bliss.

Blessings,



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Posted: Aug 04 2008 at 5:27pm | IP Logged Quote Bookswithtea

sewcrazy wrote:
    We live in information overload. The expectations are higher than most children can meet. Children are being taught Algebra without knowing how to add, every culture in the world without knowing their own faith.


Exactly. But I feel that even aside from all my other countercultural ideas, this one is the one that will get me in trouble with the gov't if I try to do something about it...educational neglect...

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Posted: Aug 04 2008 at 5:47pm | IP Logged Quote Elizabeth

Bookswithtea wrote:
Elizabeth wrote:
I ALWAYS wish I were Caroline Ingalls in oh-so-many ways. Always.


...Except I see you as a southern belle Caroline Ingalls...



Ah, but when I hear Cherry Jones read Little House aloud on the audio version, I hear Caroline with a southern accent. At first, it bugged me because that's not how I heard her in my mind, but then, I recognized that she sounds exactly like the very best mom of my mind should sound.

And Pa, don't get me started on Pa. He's been the perfect father all these years...

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Cay Gibson
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Posted: Aug 04 2008 at 5:58pm | IP Logged Quote Cay Gibson

sewcrazy wrote:

Children are being taught Algebra without knowing how to add,


This is exactly what my father was saying this morning.

Basics...basics...basics.

Then later in the morning I was we ran through the Checker's food line and it totaled $15.86. I took $21.00 out of my purse because I wanted an even $5 bill rather than four dollar bills and change. I went over it with my 15 yr old, making sure he understood counting up for change, etc. I got to the window, handed over my money and totally confused the poor girl. She still handed me the $4.14 so I gently told her I had given her $21.00 and she needed to give me a $5 bill with the .14 cents. She kept looking at the money then at the cash register. Totally confused. She finally handed me the $5 bill and said, "That's confusing."

My oldest dd worked at a fast food place her junior year. She said that was the best teaching with money. She can count it forwards, backwards and blindfolded.

Schooling does not teach our children to count money or other skills. Put them to work and they learn it real fast. But then the government will protest that the children are protected by child labor laws and should be sitting in a classroom. And, of course we wouldn't want our children to be working in factories and work houses.

But, gosh, give me a good farm living where work ethics and loyalty and commitment count for something. Give me a Little House on the Prairie too.

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Posted: Aug 04 2008 at 6:25pm | IP Logged Quote guitarnan

The other thing is, pioneer families could figure out how to make things work and make ends meet, somehow. Frugality was a virtue - no rooms with two big TVs on opposing walls - and people helped neighbors.

Maybe I am idealizing things - I probably am - I'm sure there were just as many bad guys then as there are now.

Even so, when I think of Ma's button lamps and Laura twisting hay, and I think of my Dutch friend who told me the other day that I was the only non-Mormon American friend she had who was prepared for natural disasters, I am concerned. I want my children to be able to survive emergencies and think through problems. Is that too much to ask?

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Posted: Aug 04 2008 at 6:41pm | IP Logged Quote lapazfarm

This is fascinating!
I contend that it doesn't have to be one way or the other, last century or this. Book learning and life learning can both happen.
Consider that the Ingals family was far from uneducated, despite their immersion in everyday household/homestead tasks. Sure there was butter to churn and chickens to tend, but there was still time for reading of classic literature and the Bible, time for Laura to get a good enough education to become quite an accomplished author.
I think that is still possible today, at least I pray it is so. It certainly is what I am striving for with my children's education. I want them to be prepared for life - whatever century that may look like!LOL!

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Posted: Aug 04 2008 at 6:49pm | IP Logged Quote guitarnan

That all comes back to Caroline...she was so determined to bring her children up as godly, educated young ladies. I loved how she got the girls to recite poems and speeches during the Long Winter to pass the time. That's getting to be a lost art.

I still think that even homeschooling families have so much pressure from outside the home, to teach lots of subjects, provide social opportunities, etc. that in times gone by weren't necessary. In addition to that, we are trying to pass on life skills and faith traditions that we know will be essential to our children's success, in this life and after this life.

I feel confident Caroline would have put God and family first, and I try to do that, but it gets stressful.

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Posted: Aug 04 2008 at 6:54pm | IP Logged Quote lapazfarm

Hmmm...maybe we need to write a book. Forget Thomas Jefferson, how about A Caroline Ingals Education
LOL!

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Posted: Aug 04 2008 at 7:02pm | IP Logged Quote Cay Gibson

guitarnan wrote:
Maybe I am idealizing things - I probably am -


Can I be the walnut in the brownie mix?
I think we do idealize these times and role models.

Life was "not" easier back then. It simply wasn't. I have sat with my 84-yr-old grandmother and interviewed her on recorder so that the great-grandchildren will have a keepsake cassette for always and to share with future generations.

I've asked her about her school days, early marriage, cooking, working, everything about life in the "good ol' days". My children have sat in on sessions and been given the chance to interview her as well. We have her reply to some answers in Cajun French (her first language) then translate it back to us.

Her life was hard. Her father was a sharecropper. Her older sister was born brain damaged and Grandma Crochet had to work in the fields with Grandpa to support the family. At the age of 10, my grandmother was left in charge of the house, cleaning, cooking, and caring for an invalid sister who lived in a crib bed all her life because Grandma would not dream of institutionalizing her. Grandma said that the good God had given them that child and raise her they would.

One time the house caught on fire and my grandmother had to drag her sister out of the house to safety.

She talks about having to pick cotton and clean the pig's intestines after the butchering so they could stuff it with sausage and boudin. Her first job was to clean Spanish moss and hang it to dry to stuff in beds.

I look at my 10 yr old dd and can't imagine her having to face life like that.

I really hate to be the walnut in the brownies. I don't like nuts in my brownies. I really don't.
Still I hope you'll still like me.

There's a sliver of carmel sauce in those brownies.

Whenever you talk to my grandmother she is the happiest sounding person I've ever met. She doesn't sit around and lament her life. She'll tell you in a heartbeat how "good" those days were. She says they didn't have time to complain and they were thankful for everything they had...even the soybean sandwich (spread with lard) that served as an afternoon snack. People helped one another back then. People had real faith in other people.

People definitely did not waste anything...nor did they allow it.

I asked my grandmother once if, in spite of the harshness of her life, times were really simpler back then. Was there any substance to the good ol' days.

Oh, yes, she told me. Life was much simpler then.

How, I asked?

Because we were content with what we had and we were content to have it.

People don't say that anymore, do they?

I've read the book Laura Ingalls Wilder, Farm Journalist: Writings from the Ozarks by Stephen Hines and Laura talks about the difficulty of the day and age she lived in but she also has that underlying current of gratitude, respect, and thankfulness that my grandmother has.

There is something...something... we're missing in today's world...in a day and age we have so much!

I'd like to take this chance to mention that the author at Author Fiesta is Tasha Tudor. We unveiled her yesterday and, as her b-day is August 28th and she just passed away this June, we have big plans to celebrate her life and art this month. She is a wonderful mentor who has shown the world how to take a step back in time and respect our heritage while living in the present.


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Posted: Aug 04 2008 at 7:05pm | IP Logged Quote Cay Gibson

lapazfarm wrote:
Hmmm...maybe we need to write a book. Forget Thomas Jefferson, how about A Caroline Ingals Education
LOL!


Oh, Theresa, how fantastic!!!
Makes me want to get my hands on it ASAP!

And after reading your reply and Nancy's (posted while I was typing) I wish I hadn't posted at all. Both yours words are lovely and ring with truth!

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