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amarytbc
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| Posted: July 30 2008 at 9:42pm | IP Logged
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This is a beautiful idea, but I have to say that most of our delightful conversations with the children happen in the evening when the younger ones are sleepy and sharing their secrets from the day. I love to hear their soft giggles after I leave the room when they share one last funny story between beds. It's when the teens want to talk at the kitchen table until their eyes drop and then they just have to share a few secrets with each other in their bedroom. At the breakfast table in the morning I love to hear them discuss their dreams or talk about something exciting that they're looking forward to doing that day. Such treasured conversations.
We do keep silence for roughly an hour from the time after dinner dishes until after the rosary. I used to strictly enforce it, but with the older children working or busy with evening activities it's more of a relaxed, respectful silence now.
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nissag
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| Posted: July 31 2008 at 6:31am | IP Logged
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I don't want you to be left with the impresson that we don't have time to converse. We have wonderful family talks over luncheon (or big meal of the day since Brian is home), dinner, and dishes. And the children have plenty of free time together during the day when we are also blessed to witness quiet sharing. One particular conversation was had between our two oldest ones out at the washline - about future spouses. Pure magic!
We just have quiet first thing in the morning and last thing at night, with a quiet hour in the afternoon after luncheon. At least in our family's situation, it is a time we all look forward to, and makes for more gentle transitions into and out of the day. Of course, this type of practice is not for everyone. I think that my husband and I tend to have a greater need for quiet - or a lower threshold for noise. So I suppose that would be a big factor.
Your description of your children whispering together was so vivid and sweet. A treasure, indeed.
Blessings,
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Nissa
Deacon's wife, mother of eleven, farmer, teacher, creator, cook.
At Home With the Gadbois Family
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Lara Sauer
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| Posted: July 31 2008 at 7:55am | IP Logged
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I would like to say that we don't adhere to the Benedictine rule of strict silence. Rather our family adheres to periods of of what I would call "quiet." The morning is when we are the quietest. I feel that the transition from waking to chaos is just too jarring for my soul! I am a much happier mother and am able to deal much more patiently with my children when things move more slowly from the silence and rest of the night to the noise and work of the day.
One thing that I do try and enforce quite strictly, however, is that there are different areas in our house for different activities and ergo different levels of noise! I always jokingly say that our house has "adult space" and "child space" and never the twain shall meet! (Our house is bigger now, but I have had clearly defined spaces in every place that we have lived, from our smallest 2 bedroom apartment on up to our current house!)
On the main floor, which encompasses living room, dining room, kitchen and sunroom "quiet" is the general rule and is observed all day long, with the exception of meal time. This is not a place to play, but rather a place for quiet reading, playing instruments (piano is in the living room) and doing schoolwork. Conversation is allowed, but we use quiet voices. This is definitely the adult space!
The basement is the place where the children are allowed to be the noisiest, but even there I require them to keep it to a "dull roar" as my mother used to say. However, all the toys are downstairs, as is the tv for occasional viewing of tapes and dvd's. I never require a period of silence in the basement. That is the children's place in the house to simply be kids. However, no screaming or running is ever allowed indoors. Those are strictly for outside and when the sounds from the basement get too loud, that is where I send the children!
Upstairs are our bedrooms and one empty bedroom that we have made into a library/common room. The kids are allowed to play quietly in their rooms and in the library...but the key is "quietly!"
I find that my kids have for the most part grown quite accustomed to this arrangement and that it works very well for our family.
I am really quite curious to learn more about the Rule to see what else we can glean from it. As I said in a prior posting, our houses should probably never look identical to a monastery, because those who live there have received a specific calling from God to be there. But I do think that there are many subtle beauties and rhythms that we could learn from them and conform those ideas to fit the life of a family.
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You can take the girl out of Wisconsin, but you can't take the Wisconsin out of the girl!
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amarytbc
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| Posted: July 31 2008 at 9:02am | IP Logged
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Lara Sauer wrote:
| there are different areas in our house for different activities and ergo different levels of noise! |
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Thank you! Our piano is in the living room and now that everyone takes lessons it is being played on and off all day. I didn't realize it until I read your post. I think I need to designate some new spaces as quiet zones and maybe even institute a few hours during the day when there is no practice. It's so hard when they are older, with different schedules and responsibilities take them outside the house at different times, but we'll all benefit from a few hours when we're guaranteed quiet in the main part of the house. Maybe it's time for us to buy an electric keyboard for the back room for those impulsive moments when they just have to play. 
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Lara Sauer
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| Posted: July 31 2008 at 10:14am | IP Logged
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We have actually done that! Bought an electric piano that is. We put it downstairs in the basement. My oldest son loves to go down there and play, and has begun writing music, using all of the tools that a "synthesizer" type pianon can provide...lots of cool sounds, etc. Alas, we had too many fingers that needed to practice and too little time in the schedule! Now I can have two kids practicing at the same time. We bought a higher end piano/keyboard that had weighted keys so that they wouldn't lose their touch from practicing on it and the full 88 keys, as my older kids are now using most of them!. I think it is a Yamaha, and it cost around $800 if that helps at all.
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You can take the girl out of Wisconsin, but you can't take the Wisconsin out of the girl!
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: Morning Silence
