Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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ALmom
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Posted: July 16 2008 at 8:33pm | IP Logged Quote ALmom
Molly:

I know nothing about RC curriculum but something in your post about what appealed to you stuck - you want your children to be moving forward without waiting to discuss with you, without wondering what to do next, etc. The reality is that everything gets stymied if mom is a big part of the plan. It is their work and you want to be available to help them over the hump, but with a number of children and nursing babies, you cannot hold their hand or be the school police either - nor will discussion time be productive or predictable. That is real life at our house in a nutshell (besides I'm not a natural discusser).

I really empathize here and know that what works is a great set of lesson plans that work for mom and child. I wish someone could write mine for me - but I like research so figuring out my plans are fine as long as I'm in the role of tutor/ resource person or mentor. None of the plans out there would work stand alone for any of my children. Some rely so much on discussion that my children and I would never finish. Some are too dry and rote, etc., etc. and some are all textbook and workbook when most of my children have other ways of learning better and some cannot learn some subjects from a text at all. I use the plans to cut and paste or get ideas. My children have managed to tell me over the years, what they need(and each child is different). I have managed to figure out how to be demanding enough for them to rise to the occassion but realistic. Some of my children, definitely need deadlines or at least a big picture. Example in point - just talking with my dd about our plans next year, I saw the glazed look and panic. She just couldn't see how it was even possible. Then I showed her what I'd done so far for theology letting her know I was breaking history and literature out the same way. She looked at these things all spelled out on a piece of paper and she was totally content. Suddenly she was peaceful. She could see the beginning and the end, and how we were getting there and she could see that one day at a time was not overwhelming. I know at some point, it would be nice if she could break things down from week to day- but seeing me do it like this, she is suddenly learning how it is actually done.

As far as independent learners - once they are reading, then finding the approach that works for them without leaving you totally clueless or out of the loop, is, I think, what it takes - then that all spelled out in some sort of plan that is detailed enough for them to follow. I have one child that simply needs to hear things - sitting her with books to read all day would shut her down in a heartbeat. I wish I'd known better then and gotten lots of audiobooks. Another child, I cannot require that they write a bunch of stuff if I am wanting them to retain information. They have to write in order to show me that they know how to write a well thought out essay, but I just have them read otherwise.
I cannot have our school rely on lots and lots of discussion because, in a large, crazy household, there are lots of conversations, plenty of interaction but actual content discussion is unpredictable and usually leaves my children frustrated because they are being slowed down waiting for me to catch up. Better for the conversation to happen naturally whenever and not rely on it and we all feel much better and progress at a steadier pace.

The one thing that has freed me tremendously is having someone else do the nitty gritty of essay paper grading. Signing up for Kolbe for just that service has been my biggest stress relief. (I know there are plenty of other ways other folks have recommended to get someone else to review and grade papers). It is showing up a lot of little details I forget to mention - so someone is actually help them improve rather than a bunch of busy work papers just for the sake of writing a lot.

Hope you find whatever it is that will help you over the hump and lead to more relaxed mom and students. I wish I'd figured out for my oldest a lot of what I'm finally coming to after 20 years but life does go on.

Janet
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