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tovlo4801
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| Posted: Sept 25 2005 at 5:46pm | IP Logged
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OK. I'm on board with some form of unschooling. Completely on board. Julie's blog a while back crystallized it for me and I can see my oldest warming. He's really settling in to the idea. Here's my problem. I don't know if I'm organized enough for this. 
I can be VERY organized, but I think the kind of organized I am is the kind people are when they are naturally disorganized and they are desperately trying to give their life some order. So when I'm doing the organized thing I can become overbearing and create detailed schedules for everyone in the family down to 5 minute blocks trying to ensure that everything I think needs to get done gets done. I'm trying to let that go. 
My problem is that as I let that go, life begins to fall apart around me. I'm finding myself over-scheduled because I didn't have my detailed schedules to refer to when planning activities. I can't clearly see anymore that we don't have time for this or the other thing. I'm saying yes to things that we probably don't really have the money to do because it's a good thing to do. I really want to go with the flow, but I'm not sure we have the money or the time to really do this.
My house is a disaster. OK it's always a disaster and it's rapidly moving into the range of being condemned. If I don't plan for cleaning, it doesn't happen. Actually it doesn't often happen when I plan for it, it's just a little more likely than when I don't.
I just sat down and looked at next week because I'm feeling lost with the way last week went. I wanted to feel a little more on top of things. Here's what my day tomorrow looks like:
4:00-5:00 mom's quiet/personal interest time
5:00-5:30 walking with a neighbor
5:30-7:00 gym time to really exercise
7:00-8:00 shower/breakfast
8:00-9:00 get kids ready/start laundry/make phone calls for volunteer commitment/give oldest something to do for school in the morning
9:00-10:00 drive youngest to science lab at our homeschool co-op and get him settled.
10:00-11:00 leave the science lab to drive back and pick up my data entry work/make bag lunch and bring oldest back to co-op
11:00-12:00 eat bag lunch and help science teacher get ready for afternoon group
12:00-1:00 oldest son gets math tutoring with science teacher while I keep youngest busy
1:00-3:00 drive back home/make phone calls for volunteer commitment/switch laundry/get hour or so of data entry work done/(youngest is wandering around while this is happening)/make bag supper for oldest to bring to bowling with him
3:00-4:00 go pick up oldest from science lab and bring him to friends for ride to bowling
4:00-4:30 have a little snack (and breath for a minute  )/switch laundry
4:30-6:00 get more data entry work done
6:00-7:00 feel guilty while I keep trying to get work done and my husband wanders around wondering quietly if we're fending for supper again. 
7:00-9:00 pick up the mess that's piled up behind me while I worked/clean the kitchen mess/fold laundry (not realistically going to happen until Friday or Saturday ) /make phone calls for volunteer commitment/answer e-mails/answer phone messages/try and sit down and relax for 1 hr - HA!
9:00- go to bed
Is this normal? When you're trying to be more flexible, how to you manage to get everything done?! How do you keep from over scheduling yourself?
If I hadn't sat down and looked honestly at my day tomorrow, I never would have known that it was basically non-stop the whole day. I have the big things pencilled in, but when I look honestly at all the little things that have to happen in there too... That's what happened last week. At the end of each day I wondered where it went and before I knew it the week was over with not very much accomplished.
BTW Tuesday looks pretty much the same as Monday except instead of the science lab there is a couple of hours for school in the morning and after lunch. My plan is to do things more directed in the morning and leave the afternoon time for kids interests. It sounds good, but Tuesday's the only day without some sort of outside commitment. The school time we have blocked out zips by so fast and I'm struggling to feel like we actually did anything. I think we did, but it's SOOO much less than we would have accomplished in a week last year. I had every intention of getting to the library last week so we could get some library books on topics of interest, but every day either looked like Monday or if it was more like Tuesday, I either wanted to just stay home or actually get some sort of focused learning in.
How to keep on top of it all when there is no plan, I guess is my question. Help!
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Kelly
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| Posted: Sept 26 2005 at 1:17am | IP Logged
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Gosh, you ARE organized! I'm impressed. It also makes me feel better to see I'm not the only one with a loaded Monday. Here's my schedule tomorrow. I ask you, is this sane..? 
8:30 plumbers arrive to jackhammer open our porch to find the broken pipe that flooded our house last night
9:00 to 11:00 school, damply
11:00 take dd to barn for riding lesson (teacher brings her back)
12:00 drive half hour to pick up car at mechanic/take to Tire Kingdom for new tires/drop off rental/find a way home, somehow...
2:00 drive half hour to speech therapy for dd, ds
3:00 drive half hour to meeting with nephew, carschooling select dc as we go
5:00 family fencing lesson to pound out frustrations in a legit manner
6:30 half hour drive each way to present ds for cameo appearance at Boy Scouts
8:00 get ds back home for online Biology class
Oops, I forgot to fit in breakfast, lunch and dinner, referee squabbles, cleanup (without water, water currently cut off for repairs...FUN---at least I have an excuse not to do laundry), vacuum the pile of dead love bugs from our porch before the plumbers see it and get grossed-out, figure out what to do with the fifteen baskets of wet towels from the broken pipe debacle, exercise horses, oversee music practice with dc, trip to drycleaners...)
And did I mention I haven't had a shower in over 48 hours? 
I hear you, Richelle, I hear you. I love the concept of unschooling but fear the possiblity of it degenerating into total chaos and non-schooling. Or maybe I should say "degenerating EVEN FURTHER into total chaos and unschooling". I think we've already reached the chaos point.
When you find the answer, let me know!
Kelly, already exhausted, in FL
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Mary K
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| Posted: Sept 26 2005 at 7:05am | IP Logged
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Just curious--what are lovebugs?
Mary-NY
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Kelly
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Small, black, winged insects, each between a centimeter to an inch in length, thatfly around in pairs, connected to one another. They arrive in droves about twice yearly, in fleets, hordes, plagues of bugs, and prefer straight, wide open spaces like roads...so our cars are covered with mashed lovebugs. They have an acid in them that corrodes your bumpers, so they have to be scraped off continually. They also LOVE white, frame houses, and congregate there in quantities so thick they pile into drifts.
Now, guess what color and medium my house is...?
Kelly, in lovebug-ridden Florida
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JennGM
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| Posted: Sept 26 2005 at 9:27am | IP Logged
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I remember those Love Bugs in Houston...but I think I called them something else. I was looking for pics and saw these articles from your little state.
I don't know, Kelly. I think you're pretty organized with chaos like that going on. My school would be closed for plumbing problems until further notice.
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Wife to  & ds1  '03 & ds2  '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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Sarah
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| Posted: Sept 26 2005 at 2:29pm | IP Logged
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Wow, Richelle-you get up @ 4am?
Unschooling in our house does take some planning and scheduling. I gues II would suggest too that maybe you need to make sure that the volunteer and computer work doesn't detract from your committment to homeschool, be attentive to your children and husband, and affect your peace. I'm just saying that based on your Mon. schedule. Mother Theresa has a quote about not volunteering outside the home if we can't maintain peace or complete our work inside the home. I don't know if this pertains to you.
Also, I feel like I'm one person with the work of ten people on my back. I have to let go of some the housework and I take no outside committments right now in my life because I consider these children my accomplishment for the world right now.
Sarah
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Laura
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| Posted: Sept 26 2005 at 4:13pm | IP Logged
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Richelle,
Phew, your schedule makes me super tired just looking at it. I know that I could not keep up that pace, but it makes me wonder if I shouldn't be doing more!
Seriously though, how do you wake up at 4:00AM? I keep making excuses for not waking up at 5:30 because Naomi wakes up at 4:00 to nurse, but you actually get up to start the day at that time!!! The only other person I know who does that is Laine from Laine's letters on-line. She does it because she promised God that she would. What is your motivation? I admire you!
Your post interested me because as I said in another post I am re-reading A Mother's Rule For Life right now.
We do not have many outside activities, and I am more like Sarah. I feel that there are Seasons in a woman's life and that my season for volunteer work will come after the children are gone, but that is just me. I think it's awesome if you can do it, but you did mention that your husband was fending for himself at supper time??? What do you mean by data entry? Are you talking school records? Just curious.
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JMJ,
Laura
wife to Ken and mom to 8 blessings with #9 due July 26,2009
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juliecinci
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We don't follow a schedule because I always rebel against it once I write it down.  Just ornery I guess.
What I try to do, though, is to make sure that the big things get on the calendar. So we do have a weekly teatime (at least once) per week. I do try to make sure that if we want to go on a hike, it's on the calendar in a place where it will really happen.
I have applied the one thing rule to all of my life. I feel great if we spend each morning doing ONE thing. So for instance, if my kids who do follow a math program get that done and I'm the one helping them to do it, I don't feel badly if we don't do anything else "schooly" for the day.
If they've done it without my help, hooray! Then we can do ONE other thing (which will maybe be teatime or reading aloud or watching a Discovery Science show together).
What I have found difficult is that when I think I have to get "lots of subjects" covered through unschooling, I start stressing out and I don't enjoy what we do take time to do. So now I think of my life in months, not in days or weeks.
In a month, have we enjoyed math? Have we explored science? Have I taught anyone how to cook something? Have I played any board games? Have we made time to walk outdoors and enjoy the air and birds and trees? Have we written anything? Have we read books together?
I do have a few routine practices that the kids do: copywork, math and reading. These they do with or without me. And I'm flexible - if they don't feel like it or it's gotten tedious, we take the day off. But the point is that I really do believe they are learning because they are involved in life. I try to keep a supply of interesting DVDs, art supplies, books and craft materials so that they can be occupied in meaningful ways all day.
I work (run the business and teach online and in person) and go to grad school. My house is small and we have seven people in it messing it up constantly (not even counting all the friends that think they also live here ).
The only way I can continue to live as an unschooler is to let life truly teach my kids. I spend mornings conscientiously with them. Then I spend afternoons working or studying or cleaning or driving to tutors or music lessons or whatever.
And over the course of a month, we usually hit all the "subjects." I've been at true unschooling for three years now. It's gotten easier to believe that they are learning the longer we do it.
My 13 year old wants to follow a curriculum (he's doing Well Trained Mind) so he intiates. I follow up with feedback and support. But it is his idea so he does the work. I don't have to stand over him.
That's why this feels doable to me with all my outside commitments. I am able to be a partner, not a task master.
Hope that helps!
Julie
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Julie
Homeschooling five for fourteen years
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juliecinci
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By the way, I should add that this fall, I cut way back on outside activities. We had two in soccer and one in ballet and one in lacrosse last fall. Additionally, I had one in school parttime which meant daily driving her to and from at inconvenient times. On top of that, we had a family we ate with weekly at night and my husband taught on Wednesday nights and all day Saturdays. My daughter had a tutoring appointment every week and two kids had music lessons. We also had a weekly co-op. And one of my boys was in cake decorating, target practice for rifles and 4-H.
I felt fried!
So this fall, we cut out all sports. It has made all the difference. I know that isn't an option for everyone, but I realized I had forgotten how to be peaceful at home. We'll figure out what we want to add in again in the spring, but it will mean cutting something else out too. I can't do it all and neither can they.
I remember one unschooling list I was on years ago was run by a woman who said that we have to remember that if we "home" school, we need to be home. If we come and go a lot, kids live from one exit to the next without fully engaging in what they are doing (knowing an interruption is coming). Ironically, I found I was living that way too! Made it hard for me to sit with them and focus on the game or the writing or the story or the movie.
So staying home more has been really helpful this year. I feel like a new person! And they seem to be doing much better too.
Julie
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Julie
Homeschooling five for fourteen years
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tovlo4801
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OK. Clear up some things. Prior to about a month ago I got up around 6:00. Then a neighbor I really wanted to get to know better asked if I'd walk with her. She works, so it needed to be at 5:00 a.m. It was doable. Then I recently decided to pursue a personal interest. I need quiet time to work on it and I want to make sure I do it at least a little bit each day. So I decided to get up at 4:00 to do it before the 5:00 walk with my neighbor. Today would have been my first 4:00 a.m. morning and...I overslept. So don't be in awe.
The data entry is my part-time job. Unfortunately that is not something that can be shed. We are barely making it right now financially and believe me I've looked at it every which way.
Yes. All too often my dh comes home to find the house a mess and me typing furiously and absolutely no plans for supper. It doesn't seem to matter what I do.
The volunteer ministry is a marriage ministry. My dh and I have struggled with our marriage in the past and continuing to volunteer for that ministry is part of our continued healing. Honestly I'd like to shed some of that, but worry that our marriage will slide into trouble again if I don't keep us in a place to remember our tendencies.
Truth is though that all sorts of volunteer things nickel and dime our time away. We slough off many of the volunteer things that come our way, but there are so many little things and it all adds up. One Sunday covering the nursery, helping sell tickets at the fall festival, making a basket for the spring festival, being the call person for the co-op, etc. I honestly don't know how to balance it all. If it were up to me I'd just never answer my phone and stay home all day. That's the truth. I'd just pop on to this site and get social support from you guys occasionally and be happy as a clam. But life just keeps banging on my door.
Back to my original question, I guess what I'm getting at is partially records. Not so much just covering yourself legally kind of records, but peace of mind records. How do you give yourself that feeling that you've accomplished something?
The other piece is I guess a tug-of-war between going with the flow and managing the flow. I'm being drowned in the flow right now. Part of that is because of my personality. I don't feel like things are organized and I'm swinging from one committment to the next while everything falls apart around me. I need to find a way to pull things in and organize them without losing the ability to go with the flow. I'm wondering how others do that?
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tovlo4801
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| Posted: Sept 26 2005 at 4:55pm | IP Logged
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juliecinci wrote:
I have applied the one thing rule to all of my life. I feel great if we spend each morning doing ONE thing.
If they've done it without my help, hooray! Then we can do ONE other thing (which will maybe be teatime or reading aloud or watching a Discovery Science show together).
So now I think of my life in months, not in days or weeks.
In a month, have we enjoyed math? Have we explored science? Have I taught anyone how to cook something? Have I played any board games? Have we made time to walk outdoors and enjoy the air and birds and trees? Have we written anything? Have we read books together?
Hope that helps!
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AAAHHH... It felt like a cool breeze on a hot sticky summer day. Thank you! I do think in days and weeks and I need to step it back.
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tovlo4801
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| Posted: Sept 26 2005 at 5:03pm | IP Logged
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juliecinci wrote:
If we come and go a lot, kids live from one exit to the next without fully engaging in what they are doing (knowing an interruption is coming). Ironically, I found I was living that way too! Made it hard for me to sit with them and focus on the game or the writing or the story or the movie.
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YES! That's what I'm struggling with. Unschooling seems to require that we be peaceful and present with our kids. That exit door is banging here all the time and it's stressful. I have difficulty pulling out of one thing and moving to the next. I think I just need to rearrange the whole way I think about school.
Today we had the science lab and math tutoring. That was enough. No need to feel guilty that nothing else schooly happened. Tommorrow we may go to the library. That will be enough. No need to feel guilty if nothing else schooly happens.
Without that guilt and stress, I could have relaxed and enjoyed today a lot more. I was thinking earlier today that nothing more was accomplished today than was accomplished last Monday. I'm still going to be sitting at the end of this day wondering where it went. Planning it all out last night so I could see everything that wouldn't get done did nothing for me except make me stressed. Maybe I just need to focus on that one big thing to accomplish each day and then really enjoy it and savor it. (And just accept the fact that every day is going to have it's overwhelming share of undone's and be OK with that.)
Does that make sense?
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Leonie
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I am like Julie, in that I try to look at the big picture - a term or quarter, for example.
We may not cover much in the span of days and weeks but, if I take time to look back over a three month period, I can see the learning.
I *do keep a relaxed log of what we do - and that helps with looking at the big picture.
And I try to focus on the big things, not all the little, niggly things that we do or don't dso.
Sometimes, if I think of all I have to do in a day or a week, I get frazzled. If I write the items down on a to do list and *just live and do it*, I find that things are not quite as frazzled. Not everything gets done, but there is always tomorrow or next week.
Living it is easier then thinking about it, imo!
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Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
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Karen E.
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tovlo4801 wrote:
| One Sunday covering the nursery, helping sell tickets at the fall festival, making a basket for the spring festival, being the call person for the co-op, etc. I honestly don't know how to balance it all. |
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I say "no" to all the little stuff, too ... exactly because it does nickel and dime your time away. I can't afford to lose that time. It gets easier to say no with practice. Come up with a line: "I'm sorry, but I promised myself that for the sake of our homeschool, I wouldn't say yes to anything right now, even something that simple."
tovlo4801 wrote:
| If it were up to me I'd just never answer my phone and stay home all day. |
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I literally do not answer the phone. We have an answering machine, and using it ALL THE TIME has made all the difference. I can still choose to pick up if I want to, or to return a call, but I usually do not pick up. My friends know to start talking, so I'll know it's them, but even then, I don't pick up during school hours.
tovlo4801 wrote:
| Back to my original question, I guess what I'm getting at is partially records. Not so much just covering yourself legally kind of records, but peace of mind records. How do you give yourself that feeling that you've accomplished something? |
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I keep monthly records of what we do -- if what we did a particular day falls under "math" or "science" I record it, on a simple form with spaces blocked out for all subject areas. Like, Julie, I know we won't cover everything every day, but I look for what we've covered in a month.
tovlo4801 wrote:
| The other piece is I guess a tug-of-war between going with the flow and managing the flow. |
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I do think that's a balancing act. As Julie said, things still have to get scheduled, or life will be total chaos. Unschooling doesn't have to mean total spontaneity, no scheduling ever, etc. It can take intricate pre-planning in order to stop planning, if you know what I mean. (That's why some people seem to dislike the label "unschooling" -- unschoolers often seem to be so involved in planning good learning experiences that there's seemingly nothing "un" about it.) :-)
Gotta run,
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God bless,
Karen E.
mom to three on earth, and several souls in God's care
Visit my blog, with its shockingly clever title, "Karen Edmisten."
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Kelly
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tovlo4801 wrote:
[QUOTE=juliecinci] If we come and go a lot, kids live from one exit to the next without fully engaging in what they are doing (knowing an interruption is coming). Ironically, I found I was living that way too! Made it hard for me to sit with them and focus on the game or the writing or the story or the movie.
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Well said, Julie. I like the One Thing Approach, too.
As for sports, we eliminated all sports that couldn't be done collectively, but it still eats up great chunks of time blocks and leaves lots of room for chauffeuring, alas. I remember at one hsing conference, the comment was made that to improve the quality of your homeschooling, all you had to do was let the air out of your tires...
Kelly in FL
PS I like the concept of School Closed for Plumbing, Jenn. We are now entering our fourth day of No Water (pee-yew!) and the floors of two bedrooms and the porch are all ripped up. To paraphrase the late John Belushi, I guess it's time for a toga party!
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tovlo4801
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Kelly wrote:
I remember at one hsing conference, the comment was made that to improve the quality of your homeschooling, all you had to do was let the air out of your tires...
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Now that I like.
BTW I made spaghetti tonight. 
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tovlo4801
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Karen E. wrote:
I say "no" to all the little stuff, too ... exactly because it does nickel and dime your time away. I can't afford to lose that time. It gets easier to say no with practice. Come up with a line: "I'm sorry, but I promised myself that for the sake of our homeschool, I wouldn't say yes to anything right now, even something that simple."
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I'm going to ask a question on this topic at the fireside chat if anyone is interested.
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JennGM
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Kelly wrote:
| PS I like the concept of School Closed for Plumbing, Jenn. We are now entering our fourth day of No Water (pee-yew!) and the floors of two bedrooms and the porch are all ripped up. To paraphrase the late John Belushi, I guess it's time for a toga party! |
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That, or an short-term apprenticeship about plumbing. Or lack thereof. Everything can be a learning opportunity. 
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to & ds1 '03 & ds2 '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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Natalia
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Richelle,
I am not an unschooler by any definition but I am attracted to the idea if that counts! This year I am trying to give us some more time to explore things without worrying about what I think it needs to get done. I am surprise how difficult is to let go. School mentality is ingrained in me more deeply that I thought and in ways I never thought about.
Anyhow since I can't get that mentality completely away from me, this is what I did:
For the first time this year I divided the year in terms. I am following a lot of the suggestions from MA. So I made a sheet, nothing fancy, just a handwriten sheet with each child's name. I labeled it First Term. On this sheet I listed all the basic things I want them to read or do this term.
For example my 8 yo is supposed to read three chapter of Our Faith Came to the Americas so I put the title of the book and three check boxes. I did the same for all the books we are using as spine. Then every time we do a chapter or a lesson I check it off. This way I feel that we deviate I can get on track. I also gives me the freedom to use my time in different ways. If we decide to do history this week, we can decide to do something else next week.
I know that this is a far cry from unschooling but this little paper has given me permission not to feel guilty and we can happily spend more time what what the kids choose and I can feel that I am in "control". Believe me this is progress for me!
Natalia
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tovlo4801
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Natalia wrote:
Believe me this is progress for me!
Natalia |
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Oh, I believe you. I can so relate to how hard it is to change the way you think about school. I've been taking those same baby steps. 
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: organizing unschooling
