Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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DeAnn M
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Posted: Nov 08 2007 at 10:40am | IP Logged Quote DeAnn M
Hello Martha,

This is a very frustrating situation. It seems like you want the adults in the group to demand respect from the children, be consistent with their own instructions, and have consideration for those children who are actually making the effort to do as they are told. You're also frustrated that in sticking up for your kids, your are made out to be the party-pooper, stick-in-the-mud mother. I know the situation well and it is maddening.

Several things come to my mind and forgive me if they are blunt. By no means am I implying that there is an easy way to handle these things. There just isn't. For one thing, we are already sort of out there and strange for homeschooling. I get so tired of having to defend that decision. In defending it, however, I have learned to be less defensive and not really worry about what others think about me/us/our decision.

Our children are the priority. If they are being treated badly or unjustly, then we need to defend them or teach them to do so, no matter how many rolling eyes that they or we as mothers get from other people. Our kids matter more than what other parents think of us.

I think one of the important things to do is teach our kids, and ourselves for that matter, that in the given situation, we need to discern whether or not to speak up. Sometimes, it's appropriate to say something, and sometimes it is appropriate to keep your mouth shut. While we don't want our children to be doormats, we also don't want them to think that we have to justify ourselves every time and always be acknowledged for doing the right thing. Sometimes we get hurt for doing the right thing. Sometimes we even lose friendships over it. We teach our kids that this is one of those times that we just have to crawl up on the cross with Jesus and offer it up for Him. It's a difficult lesson for children to learn because what they see is other kids getting candy and them walking away empty-handed. The "eternal perspecitve" is a difficult one for adults to understand, much less children. These kinds of opportunities are ones in which we teach them that the right decision does not always get rewarded or acknowledged by the world.    Sure, it doesn't seem fair for others to get treats for being selfish and demanding, but their reward is that they continue down this path, demanding their way and become unhappy because they will not get their way every time. And, even if they do get their way, somehow there is an emptiness inside of them.   You know adults like that--they're miserable.

Wow, now I'm rambling but I hope I've at least made a little sense. If this is a constant thing then you also may consider removing them from the situation and finding another troop or alternative to girl scouts. Sometimes sticking with a difficult situation is good for everyone, but sometimes it isn't. Try to take a step back and pray about what you should do.

May God grant us wisdom!

DeAnn
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DeAnn M
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Posted: Nov 08 2007 at 10:57am | IP Logged Quote DeAnn M
O.K.

I just realized that my post was very depressing. I didn't intend for it to be a downer. Read Psalm 37. This will be encouraging.

God Bless,
DeAnn
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Martha
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Posted: Nov 08 2007 at 11:14am | IP Logged Quote Martha
Well you weren't really a donwer or anything.

I've come to the conclusion that it's a society problem.

It isn't really just the scouts thing. It's everywhere.
And that's what annoys the dickens out of me. If it was just one situation, I'd probably just ditch it for better things, kwim?

But I can't ditch all of society.

So yes, I continue to walk that fine line between take no blarney when it comes to my kids and letting my kids learn to fend for themselves a bit.

Sometimes parenting stinks. Reminds me of my old bumper sticker, it had a bunch of wee diapered bums crawling across the bottom of it and said "Changing society one diaper at a time!"

At least, thanks to this nice board, I know I'm not the only parent changing diapers/society out here.

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