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Natalia
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from homeschool( or anybody that care to answer) I have some question
- Did you grade all your kids work? Is it necessary to give grades? I am having a hard time deciding how to grade, what percentage of the grade to assign to each component, etc. Do I have to do this?
- If your child graduates from your homeschool and is not enrolled in an accredited program, does that mean that s/he have to take the GED? If not how do they get a diploma?
- Did you feel that your kids whole future depended on you? I feel so pressured and stressed out. It is just not funny. Any ideas of how I can put all these in perspective?
Thanks,
Natalia
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LH
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Quote:
| Did you grade all your kids work? |
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The check'able work, yes.
I mark wrong answers in subjects that lend themselves to this (math, biology, latin)
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| Is it necessary to give grades? |
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Necessary for what?
Generally not . . .unless you need to qualify for something that requires grades.
Even when it is not necessary, it can be just plain easier to slap together a simple transcript.
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| I am having a hard time deciding how to grade, what percentage of the grade to assign to each component, etc. Do I have to do this? |
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Probably not.
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| If your child graduates from your homeschool and is not enrolled in an accredited program, does that mean that s/he have to take the GED? |
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No, not unless you are trying to qualify for something.
Do GED'ers get a diploma?
Isn't GED for those not getting a diploma?
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| If not how do they get a diploma? |
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Each issuing school sets forth their own requirements for a diploma.
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| Did you feel that your kids whole future depended on you? |
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No, actually I think mostly the opposite.
I think their future mostly depends on them.
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| I feel so pressured and stressed out. It is just not funny. Any ideas of how I can put all these in perspective? |
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Yes. :-)
What are your end goals?
Find out what is required for that . . . and then inch your way toward those goals.
And remember to realize that while you can lead a teenaged homeschool student to water . .. you cannot make him "care" to drink 
I think their future depends on them.
It can be really hard to motivate an uniterested teen, but if you have a teen who wants something, has a goal, etc., it can be pretty near impossible to stop them 
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ALmom
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Natalia:
I think we would have answered much as above. I did assign grades as this was required by our "school" that issued the transcript for our child - we are in a church school state. I tried to be fair as I considered it a matter of integrity for the grades I gave to have some sort of meaning since we knew they would be looked at by colleges in determining scholarships, etc. I did not fixate over them. We were about learning the material and this particular child.
I did have others doing some sort of classes with her from time to time - a group English class of 5 girls, one year with Seton (not particularly suited for us), a tutor with Spanish - but none of this was with a view to college admissions. These were all decisions based on what we felt would be most beneficial to our daughter at the time. I should have taken advantage of these "other" graders as every one of them loved our daughter and would willingly have written a lovely letter of recommendation. I think this might have helped on scholarships. It didn't make a hill of beans of difference in terms of admission or such.
The biggest thing for our homeschool highschooler was her SAT score and, in my dd case, her music audition.
We did not take the GED as we had a transcript.
Janet
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Willa
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Natalia, perhaps composing some rubrics would help? I found it helpful for me. I am a perfectionist, and then I overcompensate in the other direction == stress! So having an objective breakdown helped me quite a bit.
I googled rubrics, looked at quite a few, and discarded the stupid schooly stuff, and came up with different components that worked for me.
Another thing that helped me was having each course have a more "objective" component and a more subjective one. For example, English would be divided with one component in vocabulary/grammar (easy to grade objectively) and then composition (a little more difficult, particularly since I work with the kid to get something decent).
I did this mostly with my first. I didn't make a big deal about sticking to the letter of everything. I used the rubrics and all as guides and helps for both of us (ds and me), not a big accountability dragon. I haven't been quite so hmm, OCD, with my second and third (who are different types anyway).
As Janet said, it was about learning as much as possible, not about "keeping up your grades". Sometimes my present Year 9 student asks me what his GPA would be, because his football friends talk about theirs. I tell him it would take a while to figure it out : ).
Ninth grade with your first is a good time to transition into the whole thing. You still have several years. I worried a lot, too, and a lot of the worry was just a waste of time. Or maybe it's not quite a waste of time -- it probably gives you some energy -- but I could wish I had turned more of my worry into positive solutions.
No GEDs here. I made their transcripts (2 so far; my 3rd child's a senior this year) I think it's much more common than it used to be. In CA, homeschools are registered as private schools. SATs were helpful in verifying their GPAs.
A lot of people I know have their kids take junior college courses, either for dual credit in high school, or taking a transition year. Then they go to university from there.
__________________
AMDG
Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
Take Up and Read
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folklaur
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Natalia wrote:
- Did you grade all your kids work? Is it necessary to give grades? I am having a hard time deciding how to grade, what percentage of the grade to assign to each component, etc. Do I have to do this? |
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No. Necessary? I don't think it is.... I mean, she is using teaching textbooks and that will generate a grade but overall, no, we don't do grades.
Natalia wrote:
- If your child graduates from your homeschool and is not enrolled in an accredited program, does that mean that s/he have to take the GED? If not how do they get a diploma? |
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No, they don't have to take the GED. And none of the colleges my daughter is looking at care if she has a diploma. They want SAT/ACT scores, and some want a transcript, which they said is fine for me to write.
Natalia wrote:
- Did you feel that your kids whole future depended on you? I feel so pressured and stressed out. It is just not funny. Any ideas of how I can put all these in perspective?
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Yes, sometimes! But really, once they are young adults, a lot of their future depends on them, too.
I stressed a LOT as dd18 was going through high school - she is a senior this year. I also worried about how she would do in a classroom, etc.
She has taken some Community College courses (dual credit) and does just fine, and the teacher's love her. She can't wait to go to college (some days, other days she tells me she never wants to leave home - ever!)
Smiles,
~Laura in AZ
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Bookswithtea
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We have to do grades for NARS...otherwise I wouldn't probably do it. That said, I've noticed that ds likes knowing *exactly* how well he did. And I have started giving constructive criticism *once* on a paper and then letting the grade stand at whatever he gets. My ds needs to learn some accountability for his grades. He was used to the typical hs process of continual revision until its perfect, and I think he was taking advantage of it a little bit.
I wrote my own rubrics based on the child, with a vague idea of what most people would consider objectively A, B or C. I don't like grades that are based on testing alone, so I took the freedom I have and did it how I wanted to do it (literature is a combination of oral discussion grades and test grades, for instance).
I really believe that ds's future is in his own hands at this point. I am leading him to the best water I know how to provide, but sometimes he is so ornery about drinking! 
__________________
Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and  due 9/10
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Natalia
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LH wrote:
I think their future depends on them.
It can be really hard to motivate an uniterested teen, but if you have a teen who wants something, has a goal, etc., it can be pretty near impossible to stop them |
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I wouldn't say my dd is uninterested but, I think she doesn't have a clear goal of what she wants. And I feel ill equipped to help her to clarify what she wants and how to get there. She is only 14, and she is my first. I don't know how much to expect from her. How do you help a teen to clarify goals, or to have some goals?
Natalia
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Natalia
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Willa, what do you mean by rubrics? a course description? what did you google?
I like your idea of a objective component and a more subjective one.I'll think about it.
Thanks,
Natalia
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Angie Mc
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Natalia wrote:
I wouldn't say my dd is uninterested but, I think she doesn't have a clear goal of what she wants. And I feel ill equipped to help her to clarify what she wants and how to get there. She is only 14, and she is my first. I don't know how much to expect from her. How do you help a teen to clarify goals, or to have some goals?
Natalia |
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I'm only one year ahead, Natalia, so I'm in the thick of this questioning, too. My first reaction was to respond, go with her gifts and interests. My dd is solidly in the language arts camp of gift and interest. She loves to read and write. She also has a variety of different interests like enjoying old movies (and new), cooking, martial arts, pro-life issues, and more. She also knows that she wants to be a wife and mother. So, we spend time talking about different ways all of these talents and interests may come together...writing a book about cooking? being a journalist covering the pro-life cause? etc. She read the book, I'm an English Major, Now What? and has recently become interested in looking at journalism. We've looked at colleges and what they offer, which has been inspiring.
My challenge has been encouraging a "fire in the belly" motivation...it's coming...an excitement connected to goals helps...right?!
Love,
__________________
Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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Nina Murphy
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Natalia,
My graduate, daughter Kate, currently a university student!, did both MODG and Seton. She had to be assigned grades and units quite systematically for both. She ended up graduating from Seton. They require their own grading for papers and final tests, but I assigned "daily grades" for daily-type assignments for the final Quarter Reports.
So, no: she did not take the GED. She took the SAT and amassed her units/credits and then applied to the university she is currently attending (interestingly, auditioning first for the Music Department to "get in" in a slot there, before filing her application). Once she got accepted into the Music Department, it was easier to get her application expedited---they helped roll things along.
To answer your last question, my husband and I found the entire process quite overwhelming with our family circumstances being what they are, with many many demands and stresses. In all honesty, it was quite disconsoling for my daughter, as well, to see her parents so pressured on so many sides, and realize (being a very mature, thoughtful girl) that they didn't want to put her is a secondary priority position, but often it was inevitable and simply unavoidable. We did the best we could, and it all turned out, thanks be to God.
I wish I could tell you otherwise and relay a simpler process or paint an easier picture, but try as we did, we could not figure out to make the yoke lighter. We aimed always to be with Christ, and in His Will, with His burden. We understood the burden. But it did get complicated and we did get confounded, and I wish there were a simpler way for parents of large families (or just for those who don't feel up to all of the responsibility being solely on their shoulders).
We, as busy Catholic mothers and fathers, in these modern times, are *not*, no matter how well-educated, or well-intentioned, ALL up to the task of preparing our teens to make that next step of launching into the world as independent, functioning adults, without some very specific practical help, leadership or delegation. We now have our 11th grader in a Classical school for that reason, and the relief for all of us has been enormous. He feels secure and taken care of, and challenged intellectually....and hopeful of being prepared for whatever next step God has in mind for him. It has been a great gift for US.
There are options. You are awesome. I will pray for your strengthening, motherly confidence, and assurance that God is providing. All will work to Good!
__________________
God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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Barbara C.
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Cafi Cohen's book "And What About College?" has a lot of really good answers to all of your questions. I highly recommend it. She also offers sample homeschool transcripts in the book for the college bound.
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Barbara
Mom to "spirited" dd(9), "spunky" dd (6), "sincere" dd (3), "sweet" dd (2), and baby girl #5 born 8/1/12!!
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Leonie
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Natalia wrote:
| - Did you feel that your kids whole future depended on you? I feel so pressured and stressed out. It is just not funny. Any ideas of how I can put all these in perspective? |
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I have graduated four sons now ( three to go!) - can't answer your other questions as I think things are different here in Australia. But, from a perspective "from the other end" - it really doesn't depend on you!  There are so many other factors - and there is sill so much time. A child can even have an extra year or two of homeschooling - there is no rush.
The child and his/her personality and interests comes into play. God is there, too.
My best advice - take time out to enjoy your teen. Have coffee together. Talk about books and movies and life together. Encourage their positive social life, part time or volunteer work, family and individual things.
Yes, be diligent but also give yourselves time off to "goof".
It'll all work out at the end. Truly.
__________________
Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
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Natalia
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Leonie wrote:
It'll all work out at the end. Truly. |
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Thanks for the encouragement.
Now for a question. Several of you have mentioned that it doesn't depend on me. How do you transition from leading your teen to letting her/him take the reigns? How do you get them to be more involved in the choices to be made? So far with my dd I've decided what we will study and how. I don't see any interest on her part to participate in the process. How do you get them to think about their future and what they want? She is only 14. Is there a big jump in maturity in the horizon?
Natalia
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Barb.b
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Natalia,
You could read my thoughts. I really had no problem seeing myself homeschool in high school until this year when ds began 9th grade. Suddenly i feel more stress and pressure because this is high school. Then there are comments of others - you know - "isn't he going to a real school for high school"; "what about AP classes", "aren't you sheltering him"; "isn't he going to miss out on the 'high school experience'. On and on it can go. I was really throw that I began for the first time wondering if this is right and feeling like his future depended on this.
After much discussion, my husband and I feel we really have no choice. There is a lack of private schools in our area and I am not sure about our public high school. It uses an accelerated block system where the student takes only 4 subjects at a time each semester - accelerating 36 weeks of material into 18 weeks. I feel this can be good for some subjects but how can it be done for math and language arts! Some things need daily work for the entire school year for retention.
Also my son chooses to continue homeschool. He honestly says he likes his homeschool friends and will miss those in his homeschool science class that meets once per week. My husband says our ds will regret not having gone to a high school. But if we send him to a high school I can't help feeling my son is really trying to tell us that he may feel that he missed out on some more years of home schooling.
Sorry for babbling. Your post really hit home with me. I am right there with you!
Barb
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Angie Mc
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Barb.b wrote:
Natalia,
You could read my thoughts. I really had no problem seeing myself homeschool in high school until this year when ds began 9th grade. Suddenly i feel more stress and pressure because this is high school. Then there are comments of others - you know - "isn't he going to a real school for high school"; "what about AP classes", "aren't you sheltering him"; "isn't he going to miss out on the 'high school experience'. On and on it can go. I was really throw that I began for the first time wondering if this is right and feeling like his future depended on this.
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Same thing happened to me, but in 8th grade. If was as if a huge spotlight was shining on me...and I hate that. The best advice I received during this time was from my dh. He told me to protect the decision that he and I had made. He encouraged me to trust that we were thoughtful and prudent, that we had prayed and done our best to discern God's will, and that we had received support from others outside of ourselves who validated our choice (we didn't make our decision lightly or in a vacuum.) He told me to avoid situations that undermined my confidence. It all worked well. Now that dd is in 10th grade, the spotlight is back off, leaving us to learn from our triumphs and blunders in private .
Love,
__________________
Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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ALmom
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Happened to me when my first highschooler hit 9th grade. Don't stress over it, really. It is wasted energy - but here I am with my second highschooler and the same thing hit me with her. Perhaps it is a natural "parenting stage."
Peer pressure on parents is intense and I find myself being pulled. I want to provide an excellent education for our children - but am not always sure that what is touted as necessary education is really the best. It hit again as we were preparing for todays feast day. We felt stressed and behind and had costumes to make and .... Finally I called off one of the days for all, and we all made costumes and then, of course, we took off for All Saints to go to the party and ... It was a lovely day. I had a wonderful time working next to my dd - actually she did most of the work with the costumes as I was clueless. Bless her, she used a hot melt glue gun to assemble everyone of the costumes since our sewing machine was not working and I made it worse trying to fix it (basically, I took the bobbin out to see if it was threaded wrong and couldn't figure out how to get the bobbin back in).
Ok, so how much of the traditional school subjects are necessary so that we don't close doors - but without so stressing our children that there isn't any family or other time. Leisure has to be in there, just goofing off with our teens (as someone else said) and what about all those prescious moments like when your 16 yo is helping the 5 yo with his costume and building him up. I am back in a reflection mode of discernment in terms of what is really necessary and what is the world and peer pressure telling us we have to do that really is distracting from our main purpose.
Sorry for my long pondering. I'm not nearly as experienced as the mom who has graduated 3. I have graduated only 1 and have a 10th grader - hardly enough to make me an expert. What I do see happening is that the first couple of years of highschool, I tend to get caught up in the pressure a bit and suddenly feel an obligation different from the one I felt with my youngers. Now I am following 2 agendas at once - one to make sure we meet admission requirements so we don't close doors and one that is what we feel God calling us as family. The 2 shouldn't really conflict but sometimes it is tricky to find the right balance for the family with each individual child.
Janet
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Leonie
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Natalia wrote:
| . How do you transition from leading your teen to letting her/him take the reigns? How do you get them to be more involved in the choices to be made? So far with my dd I've decided what we will study and how. I don't see any interest on her part to participate in the process. How do you get them to think about their future and what they want? She is only 14. Is there a big jump in maturity in the horizon? |
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I've seen it happen more gradually - a bit here and a bit there. Having regular "meetings" to discuss these things help. Reading books that talk about plans and goals and so on also has given us a starting point for discussion.
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Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
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Victoria in AZ
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I also was intimidated about the high school transcript. This software program completely demystified the process for me:
http://www.homeschooltranscripts.com/pro.htm
The Home School Legal Defense Assoc. (HSLDA) website has added quite a bit about homeschooling in high school. Here's one part in particular about credits for a transcript:
http://www.hslda.org/highschool/docs/EvaluatingCredits.asp
What I have found most interesting to learn recently about homeschooling high school is this (from HSLDA):
"It is up to each parent to decide what the student must do in order to receive a diploma. While each state has slightly different requirements for graduation for its public high schools, parents are not required to impose the same requirements that are imposed on public school students. For example, you may hear that 20 "credits" are required for graduation. While public schools may require students to complete 20 credits before being allowed to graduate, and may require that certain subjects be taken, homeschool parents are under no duty to imitate the public schools or adopt their standards.
*Note: The Pennsylvania homeschool law prescribes graduation requirements, but even though the student fulfills them, neither the school district nor the state will issue a diploma to the student. HSLDA encourages parents to issue the diploma and take the position that the state should recognize it, since the student has met the state-prescribed requirements."
Hope this helps,
Victoria in AZ
who has graduated a student as of last May and can hardly even believe it 
__________________
Your sister in Christ,
Victoria in AZ
dh Mike 24 yrs; ds Kyle 18; dd Katie 12; and one funny pug
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Kelly
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This is a GREAT thread...I've been reading this with interest since we're in the midst of Doing College Applications (and transcripts) and it has been very stressful. That being said, Victoria's quote above about it being up to each parent to decide what the student must do in order to receive a diploma REALLY struck a reassuring bell for me. As I've waded (and I do mean WADED) thru information to compile this transcript for my son, I discovered three things: one-what Victoria mentioned-that WE'RE at the helm; two-that when I sat down and pondered all that the kids have done, they really do have an inordinate amount of credits,(that's defining a full credit as roughly 180 hours of seatwork in a subject)...what a relief!; and three- after reading thru "traditional" school curricula descriptions, I'm struck by how much of it is puffed up language---I really haven't seen anything in "regular" schools that I would judge superior to what we can provide at home, creatively (or even NON-creatively---I'm not a great teacher or wunderhomeschoolmutter by a long stretch!)
Of course, check back with us in a few months and see if ds gets into any schools, but in the meantime, yes, it is a stressful process, but it's also been very enlightening...and your words, here, encouraging. Thanks, ladies!
Kelly in FL
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Willa
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Natalia wrote:
Willa, what do you mean by rubrics? a course description? what did you google?
I like your idea of a objective component and a more subjective one.I'll think about it.
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Sorry not to have answered before, Natalia.
There are a bunch of samples here and here
Yes, they can get schooly and artificial. But it can be helpful to work out expectations, both for my own sake and for my kids', so we have fair ways to evaluate and self-evaluate things that aren't clearcut "right" and "wrong".
__________________
AMDG
Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
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4Real Forums : High School Years and Beyond
Topic: For those of you that have graduated dc
