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Erin
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I'm hoping someone can help me find my way out of this maze. For months now, really I think most of this year I have felt so uninspired about our education. Not all the time but most. I will have spurts, I think my Montessori spurt was the most enthusiastic I have got for a while. I plan and the dc are not that enthusiastic, or maybe one or two are but not the others and the topic falls apart. I feel that if I am not enthusiastic about a learning area then it will filter to the dc. I truly can not remember when we last got into an area deeply. CM says 'we are educated by our intimacies' well frankly I don't feel we have been too intimate with anything much.
Is this something common after educating for years, is it because after all the boys carrying on I am so exhausted by their nonsense I just manage to get the seatwork done (which lets face it is hard work and uninspiring often)and I just give in then and send them out to play. Or am I just plain lazy?
I know I need to nuture mine and their creative side, yet craft and our readings are not happening consistently. I want to go back to the times when we read deeply of topics. When I and they were enthused.
Dh says that sometimes education reaches a place where it may just be a 'slogg'. Could well be true, he often is an insightful man, however this 'slogg' has been lasting an awful long time.
I feel like I have a lot of balls in the air and I'm not juggling any of them too well. Dd is 14 soon, I feel like the clock is ticking away wildly with her and I don't have much time left.  So many needs, so much to do and I am unmotivated. I don't know why, I mean I'm not depressed or anything, I'm not pregnant,(although I am nursing) this is my optimum time that I should be using and I'm not really. I'm just plain unmotivated/uninspired.
I would love some words of wisdom, or maybe I just need 'a good kick'.
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Erin
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lapazfarm
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Hey, Erin. Sounds like you may be suffering a bit from burnout. Am I wrong, or aren't you in the middle of your school year over there? Those feeling tend to hit me around february here, when we are headed for a long stretch of ugly weather and no fun holidays for awhile.
Any way you can just take a break from the seatwork and relax for awhile? Perhaps dive into a fun outdoors project or hobby? Even try to get away for awhile?
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LaPaz Home Learning
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Willa
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I've regularly felt like that, Erin. What Theresa says is true. Some years, I've felt a bit dull and uninspired all year, but it isn't till mid-year that it hits with full force..... all the problems seem to have accumulated.
Helen wrote
this blog series after starting this thread
There's also this related thread on organic/seasonal learning.
Sometimes just realizing what is going on, can be helpful in getting through it or changing the scenario a bit.
Weirdly enough, I sometimes have my most unmotivated times when there is not a crisis going on. I think it's because when I am pregnant or have a new baby or a hospitalized little one or something else, I have something to pin the problems on. and that helps me accept the problems and deal with them. But when nothing like that is going on, I am more aware that things aren't going quite as I would like them to.... and being a perfectionist, I feel guilty and troubled about it.
Or else, perhaps when nothing much is going on, I'm still recovering from the other times! I've considered that. 
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Willa
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Bookswithtea
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I had a 3 yr bout of burnout after about 6 yrs of homeschooling. It wasn't fun. I would not say I am super inspired like I was in the early days, but I don't feel as bad as I did anymore. I think its partially when there's a lot of children within a certain age group, external stresses can make it worse (a move, feeling like there is more month than money by the 20th, wondering if we need to switch parishes...stuff like that).
I didn't expect quite as much of myself in those years. I figured I would counsel another mom to be more gentle to herself so that's what I tried to do. It helped. We were on 'bare bones' a lot of the time, and I did fool around with more traditional curriculum (note to self: CM methods still work better for us!) for awhile.
The other thing I have learned is that with more children in the house, I have to intentionally plan to teach *less* if I want to go deeper. Sounds simple, but somehow I missed that in all my reading. 
Hang in there...it does lift...
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Mary G
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Erin,
First, be assured of my prayers for you and yours!
Second, what "jazzes" me and gets me out of a slump is reading or re-reading good books on home learning -- Elizabeth's, CM herself, an unschooling book or two ... thinks like that. This list also really helps get me going again.
You mentioned having too many balls in the air -- are you trying to do too much with the kids? Sometimes we've gone with a week of JUST read-alouds and playing together ... no "real" school work but TONS of learning, fun and reconnecting ....
As far as your 14 yod, make a weekly date with her and do something she really likes or that will make her feel grown up -- tea at a nice restaurant/hotel, hanging at the bookstore, maybe an overnite to the big city?
Best advice of all is to pray and turn it over to Mary's intercessions and help from the Holy Spirit -- whenever I've given it all over and said "I can't do this on my own Lord!" -- all has smoothed a bit!
Cyber hugs, Erin!
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Meredith
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Big hugs from me too Erin, and I love all the advice you've already received here. I vote for all Read Alouds for a while and just *see* where hey take you  Blessings from this side!
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Meredith
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nicole-amdg
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Mary G wrote:
| Sometimes we've gone with a week of JUST read-alouds and playing together ... no "real" school work but TONS of learning, fun and reconnecting .... |
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As someone who's right there with you when it comes to the kids' responsiveness, I think this sounds like a good idea, or at least abandoning the seatwork for something more project-based. I'm hardly a homeschool vet after only five years (compared to some) but I know the cycle of spurts of enthusiam or motivation, and sometimes I just need to get off that roller coaster and regain my equilibrium. It sounds to me like laying low for a while would be a time to replenish your mind and heart--with each of your kids.
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asplendidtime
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I really enjoyed reading this thankyou all.
I get tired or burned out from the constant effort, constant effort makes me need a season of less(rest/retreat). I always feel incredibly guilty over this... But I do even remember this in my own schooldays, I remember seeing this also in my mother's life.
Erin, maybe you have/had been trying so hard, you need a little time to breathe, maybe you need lots of time to breathe. I think when you start shutting-off because you are done, but beat yourself up for it, the need to breathe takes longer to fulfillment. STOP beating yourself up. You are a good Mom, you just aren't super-human. Christ knew what He was about when He gave your dc the most wonderful gift of YOU as their Mom. Really, I am assured from your words that you don't need a KICK, you need to care for your soul, you need roses.
Do what these ladies suggested, it is such good advice. Stop feeling guilty, smile and sing again.
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Willa
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Bookswithtea wrote:
The other thing I have learned is that with more children in the house, I have to intentionally plan to teach *less* if I want to go deeper. Sounds simple, but somehow I missed that in all my reading.
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This is so true. This helps me again and again. The times I am most prone to discouragement are when I am trying to "do it all".... it is emotional and intellectual clutter.
Some of the best times in my homeschool have been when I settle on just doing a couple of things steadily and well -- returning to the most important things, which for me are books, and connecting with my kids.... for other people, it might be hands-on crafts, or celebrating the liturgical year.
Whatever makes you feel competent and refreshed and in touch with your deepest priorities.
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Willa
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julia s.
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Erin,
I've been feeling a lot like you for a few months -- I've been trying to get ready for next year and some days it's like a weight trying to even think of a new school year.
I too have looked over at other people's planning process and what I've noticed for those who are truly and happily engaged with hsing is they aren't doing a lot in a day. But they are doing whatever they are doing with their full attention. If you read Theresa's blog you'll notice that what she does with her son is incredible, but they aren't tacking on a whole load of studies on top of the big projects. This is true for many other people too. It finally hit me the other day that I need to make a list of priorities for my days and do that and not worry about subjects.
Finally, what has pulled me a little out of my slump some has been finding the things that make me happy. Not worrying if I'm setting a good example or is this something the kids and husband would like, but just getting me focused on the joy that God puts in my heart. I like to dance while I get the dinner ready (former ballerina -- just gotta do it sometimes) and I sneak out and sketch while the baby naps or I read the Bible or I pray the rosary. These are things that are probably a little goofy if you'd spend the day with me, but they really get me out of myself and connect me with God's wonderful gifts to me. I hadn't done these things in years and it has felt really good. Maybe when I'm more secure in myself I can worry about getting the kids involved or things like that, but for now I need it first.
Just some thoughts.
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teachingmyown
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By 10 am this morning, our first day of school, I was ready to post a new topic called "I hate homeschooling!". Then I saw your thread and thought the responses you get would probably be the same that I might get.
I have spent the summer trying to get motivated. We are doing Sonlight, plus some CHC and other workbooks, which is a good fit for us. But, this morning, all those feelings of burnout and dissatisfaction came rushing back over me. At the beginning of the summer, I decided I was done. I found a good Montessori school that goes up to 9th grade. But dh said no. End of discussion. So here I am.
I made the mistake of saying we would start school "in August". To dd, 11, that meant bright and early August 1. To ds, 9, that meant August 31 at the earliest! So, that was our first conflict. Good morning. 
But, really for me, it is the all-at-once, constant talking of six kids saying "Mom, look, Mom, help". I desperately need to find a way to make homeschooling enjoyable to me because as much as I love being with my kids and can't see them going to school, I dread "schooling". I have for years.
Lots of good ideas here, to ponder and pray about. I love Julia's idea of finding something she enjoys. I would say there is nothing in my life right now that I do for the sheer enjoyment of it. I don't have a hobby or particular interest outside of my job of mom and wife. Perhaps that is why I feel so deflated.
One ray of light for me has been reading about TJEd. Part of that philosophy of education is that the mom needs to be learning, studying, working on a skill, etc. in order to model to the kids. At first I was incredulous. I thought when on earth was I going to study the classics or actually learn how to sew or knit. But if I look at it as something that is part of our homeschooling philosophy, then I need to build that into our day.
Wow, I didn't mean to ramble on about myself so much. I just wanted you to know you had company.
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Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
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Sarah
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I'm glad you started this topic because I wouldn't have had the courage to, even though its been brewing here.
I feeel burnt out. I'm not even in the school year yet, but I cannot seem to get excited about it. I have so much more to write you, but I have a serious diaper issue right now, so I will try to get back to you.
This year will be a super simple year (and I mean SIMPLE!) in which I try to heal this feeling. . .I'll be watching this thread closely.
For now . . .{{{hugs}}} take a deep breath and know you are not alone.
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ALmom
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OK, Erin, I may not be the best to respond because I have felt like you are describing for a long time - and still do feel that way at times. I am not a natural or good teacher by any means - and I say that honestly and not in any self-deprecating way. I'm a great tutor if someone comes to me with a problem or question. When I school I have to build something using my own strenghts and supplementing in areas of weakness. I cannot be and should not expect myself to be an expert in all areas. I have had to acknowledge that I cannot do it in the ways others have described - and being a perfectionist and a lover of learning, I do tend to get sidetracked into loving this or that description and we should be doing more of ... and we become overburdened. I can jump up and down about all the primary history reading in the Kolbe plans and be very enthusiastic - my dc have not been so and I am not particularly good at presenting anything. I just assume they will catch the fever reading the same stuff - only then in my enthusiasm we have too much stuff to read.
When anyone in my house struggles, then my first thought is what have I done wrong, failed to do, etc. - but when there are 6 children, well, there is always someone struggling with something so that you never seem able to just sit back and admire where your dc are. Throw some learning problems on top of that and a good dose of time demands with therapy and if I don't realistically readjust my expectations earlier, then we are headed straight to burnout in a flash. Also, I noticed you said you have a 14 yo, well that adds another dimension as well as that is a normal assessment stage and the agony of being in a parent teacher conference with yourself. It is hard to have an unbiased perspective here so there is a certain angst that is normal!
I finally had to step back and recognize - look at what are my limits, my dc limits, their natural abilities, etc. I also had to learn to let go. At some point the learning is theirs, not mine. One thing that has really helped me is for all of us to begin with what has worked this year - and why or what about it worked. My dc gave me some great insights when I asked this question. It also helped us all to start on the positive. Now, what worked may have simply been that workbooks gave me more time with the toddlers. (Later in discussing what didn't work, workbooks may come up again - ie they became too rote for a child so that real learning didn't take place, just filling in the dots). My dc - esp. my teens, wanted more time with me as mom and didn't want all our conversations to be school related. My toddlers just wanted mom time of any kind and I could sense it in the trouble making that can start when they need my attention and havent' gotten enough. (I'm a bookish person by nature and not a very good conversationalist so this meant I had to work on different skills, myself in order to meet the teens needs, planning some sort of school for the toddlers to do with me means that they don't get pushed aside). After we had a good sense of some of the positives, we looked at what didn't work, why and what we had hoped to achieve with it. We had gone with Seton one year because my dc wanted structure - well they gave us plenty of structure but we wanted more freedom to modify within that structure. My dd said she actually loved having plans that were clear - she knew exactly what she needed to do to be done but clearly something didn't work here and in a major way. We figured we needed to use the "disaster" as a learning experience. In this process, we discovered that we wanted to be able to tweak more freely. (ie major modifications, different books) and she wanted a clearer indication of what she did wrong when something was marked off. She also resented the sense of protecting her from other views and she wanted more balance - I finally recognized this as my biggest bone with their history. I wanted someone who would help with paper grading (and Seton was supposed to do that, but the problem was that expectations weren't as clear and they were more concerned about "giving us the answer" than with helping us progress. We finally realized this tension was a result of a different vision of things in general and not a problem with me or the school. We had a better idea of what we needed and went looking for it. With a high schooler, I sensed a need to free our dd to share her insights with me as mom - not teacher and I felt she needed to get used to differing people assessing her writing but I didn't want someone to dictate what we were supposed to think about the work, etc. and I wanted freedom from major grade stress (my dd made very good grades with Seton, but tended to fall into the "grade trap" instead of focusing on learning when there was grade pressure. I wanted someone who would act more as consultant to me - not supervise our learning. I did want someone with a bit more distance from the dynamics of our family to be a shoulder to lean on, for confidence, to help me in the decision making without taking it over - yet someone who had some more direct knowledge than just what I said, ie someone who saw some of their work. Once I knew what I really wanted and needed and how it merged with my dc needs, we were better able to search out the support we needed. Before that it was more of a knee jerk - trying the latest educational success story coming across the airways either from boards, friends that I knew, sisters - and many of these things were great for their families but disasters for mine because they didn't take into account my own real situation. I felt guilty for years because we didn't have project based education or unit studies or any kind of group learning things - everytime I tried to make an attempt at them, they were unmitigated disasters with the dc feeling rudderless and mom frazzled and not sure we were accomplishing anything. I finally learned that I simply am more suited to be tutor and guide and very unsuited to lead any kind of group thing. Now we do have projects going on at our house - and we do follow some trails - but these are never, ever planned by me.
It is ok to prioritize differently for different children - and to do school differently for different children. I have to realistically be aware of my own circumstances and the interests, inclinations and skills of my dc. School for each of my children looks very, very different. I also have to remember that I am a mom long before and much more importantly than teacher. I have to guard mom time so that the dc have that nurturing relationship. Some of the families on this board have been more able to be mom if they do the other kinds of learning. I found more freedom to be mom in designing some set plan with the dc (and depending on their strengths it may be very creative or very bookish in different subjects) but the this worldly end that we are trying to achieve is real (not just memorized and regurgitated), adequate learning that allows mom to remain primarily mom. If I cannot be mom, then we all suffer and I think that is the #1 cause of burnout. Just my 2 cents - and we are still working our way around - and stumbling over my very real tendency to impose my enthusiasm for all these books I want to read on them and I do still jump on the latest enthusiasm bandwagon. (We are heading into Montessori this year along with a ton of others on this board) Hopefully, I have become much more aware of how it really fits into my own abilities and the needs in my family - and my limits and grant myself a lot more permission to do it my way. Ie with Montessori - I will not be attempting any group lessons. I also am not relying on it for the major part of schooling for my olders - but as a supplement to what has been working and with a wait and see attitude for them. I know it will work fine for my 4 yo (but I also don't have any pressure with him except that he wants to learn and be a part of "school" and he needs something to keep him gainfully occupied while I am answering someone else's questions and I need to plan something so he does have my undivided attention and not just a continuous request to wait - ie he will be planned into the whole, loose schedule. My 7 yo will have short book lessons (to cover basics) and then a lot of Montessori - but I won't be under pressure from the state to make Montessori sound like school because I'll have those few things that will easily and in short order meet state expectations - and that he has responded well with and does with a minimal of mom as teacher time.
My older dc are having a heyday teasing me about Montessori - as they have seen the fads come and go over the years. I am hopefully realistic enough that we won't be overwhelmed as there is a lot of teacher prep. etc. - but I may not do that much that quickly - we'll do what I am able to do and not beat ourselves up for what doesn't happen. I plan to prioritize those presentations that cover things I have never covered very well - or that my dc really do need hands-on for concepts to jell and not sweat if we don't get to some of the other things. The other priority with Montessori for me is the eye-hand so practical life will be important for us as will the sensorial. I will ignore any temptations to run out and start making major time investments in cultural boxes, etc. though I am inspired by what I have seen as there will be time enough for that another year after we have gotten our feet wet and seen the response of the dc - and maybe geography will become the Montessori academic focus over science. Then I'll come to these archives and resurrect the ideas.
Janet
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Kristin
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Janet said:
"If I cannot be mom, then we all suffer and I think that is the #1 cause of burnout."
Very well said, Janet. I believe that this is exactly what has caused me to have feelings of burnout at such a young, ripe homeschooling age! I find myself longing for the days when I was just mom and didn't have to try to balance my homeschooling role with my mothering role. I have a feeling that if I don't get a feel for this now I will struggle with it all along and we will all suffer because of it. I would love to hear what others have to say in this regard. Right now I really need to work on living in the moment, take one day at a time, trust everything to God more and pray, pray, pray!!!
Thank you to everyone for sharing your advice and experiences in this thread; it is so helpful. Erin, I am saying some prayers for you --- and for all others out there who are going through a challenging time. 
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lapazfarm
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julia s. wrote:
I too have looked over at other people's planning process and what I've noticed for those who are truly and happily engaged with hsing is they aren't doing a lot in a day. But they are doing whatever they are doing with their full attention. If you read Theresa's blog you'll notice that what she does with her son is incredible, but they aren't tacking on a whole load of studies on top of the big projects.
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That is absolutely true. When we dive in deep, there isn't much else we do. At other times we are skimming the surface and can do many things at once. But to try to do both is a recipe for drowning!
Kristin wrote:
| I find myself longing for the days when I was just mom and didn't have to try to balance my homeschooling role with my mothering role. |
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I think it is important to see the homeschooling role not as separate, but as an extension of the mothering role. Just as it is the most natural thing in the world to teach our children how to say mama, to pray, and to eat with a spoon, it can be natural to teach them to write, to subtract, and to interpret poetry. I think we run into trouble when we try to make learning something that is unnatural or forced.
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Land O' Cotton
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lapazfarm wrote:
I think it is important to see the homeschooling role not as separate, but as an extension of the mothering role. Just as it is the most natural thing in the world to teach our children how to say mama, to pray, and to eat with a spoon, it can be natural to teach them to write, to subtract, and to interpret poetry. I think we run into trouble when we try to make learning something that is unnatural or forced.
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I agree! That's been a difficult lesson for me, and a lot of it stems from trying to make school at home like, well, school at school. That has been a mistake for me, and I've got lots of workbooks that probably won't be used this year. We too are going to mix some Montessori-style learning into our homeschool, and I'm really excited to see how it goes. To me, the Montessori style seems to be a method of instilling discovery into the teaching instead of just filling out workbook sheets (drudgery for my child).
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teachingmyown
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lapazfarm wrote:
Just as it is the most natural thing in the world to teach our children how to say mama, to pray, and to eat with a spoon, it can be natural to teach them to write, to subtract, and to interpret poetry. I think we run into trouble when we try to make learning something that is unnatural or forced.
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Okay, but what if teaching them to write or interpret poetry does not come naturally at all? I do not feel that these things flow naturally from me, especially not in a home with 7 children so far.
Could it be that this is a defining difference between those of us who really struggle with home education and those of you to whom it really is "natural"?
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In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
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Meredith
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lapazfarm wrote:
Kristin wrote:
| I find myself longing for the days when I was just mom and didn't have to try to balance my homeschooling role with my mothering role. |
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I think it is important to see the homeschooling role not as separate, but as an extension of the mothering role. Just as it is the most natural thing in the world to teach our children how to say mama, to pray, and to eat with a spoon, it can be natural to teach them to write, to subtract, and to interpret poetry. I think we run into trouble when we try to make learning something that is unnatural or forced.
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I couldn't agree more with this statement. I think if we do try an force certain things on our dc, then it will always come off as contrived and not from the heart or as a mother would do things. And the beauty of home education is that we are all different mothers with different children so it's going to be a different learning/nurturing environment for everyone. You can't compare apples to oranges. I always find that when I'm trying to *keep up* with someone else's idea of what I should be doing, teaching, saying, burnout is right around the corner
Continuing prayers for you Erin!! Good discussion!
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Meredith
Mom of 4 Sweeties
Sweetness and Light
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Kristie 4
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| Posted: Aug 02 2007 at 4:01pm | IP Logged
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Thank you for being so open Erin. In February in many years of our homeschool expereince I have felt often felt at odds- wondering where the joy is or the desire.
I agree with whomever wrote that it is helpful to have something that gives you joy, something that you do that is not purely functional. A few years back (in February I am sure ) I took up knitting again. I don't end up with a ton of finished projects but I really noticed a change in myself and my peace as I enjoyed this time with my needles and wool. It had just seemed at that point it was all mom/house/homeschooling (those not being seperate) but I needed some refreshment as well.
Sorry, this has dragged on. Thinking of you Erin...
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Kristie in Canada
Mom to 3 boys and one spunky princess!!
A Walk in the Woods
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Erin
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| Posted: Aug 02 2007 at 4:56pm | IP Logged
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Thank you, thank you Your love and support make me all teary good tears though I have soo much to write and tell you all as you have all so much to say I just wanted to let you know though that your prayers are already helping, a small fire is lit in me already and I will share that later today, I'm hoping to find a good chunk of time to write as all the cutting and pasting will take time
Must go as today the WYD cross comes to town and I'm taking the dc. It is at the local Catholic highschool. Very honoured as dd has been asked to represent the homeschoolers (all of two families ) and pray a prayer of the faithful. My irl friend Lynn's (occasionally on the board here, many know from MO) son is one of the icon carriers. My dc think it hilarious as I told them according to the WYD preparations I am in the target group, I am youth.
Your outpouring of prayers and support have helped immensely, just to be able to say how I feel has helped. The support to know I am not alone, that this is not really abnormal. I'm praying for all you other wonderful ladies who are also feeling this way.
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Erin
Faith Filled Days
Seven Little Australians
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: Feeling uninspired about hs for long time
