| Author | |
juliecinci
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 20 2005
Location: Ohio
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 294
|
| Posted: Sept 06 2005 at 10:18pm | IP Logged
|
 |
|
Hey Molly, you're on a new adventure!
I'm excited for all of you. Every kind of schooling has its unique challenges and joys. Sometimes moving from "bad guy" to "ally" is worth all the unknowns. I pray that your son will experience you as an ally in a whole new way.
Congratulations on no longer being stuck!
Julie
__________________
Julie
Homeschooling five for fourteen years
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
teachingmyown
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 20 2005
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5128
|
| Posted: Sept 07 2005 at 8:16am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Thanks Julie and Everyone! I feel comfortable with our decision. Not thrilled, because I can see the big picture and wanted so much more for his education. I really have come to dislike formal, especially institutional, education and would love to see him decide to come back home and direct his education based on his goals for the future, not the State-mandated Standards of Learning.
I haven't given up hope of him coming back home. But I am being realistic, knowing that playing sports is a big thing for him. I think he might consider homeschooling again when he is able to drive, because he will feel more in control. Some of the homeschooled teens start taking classes at the community college when they are 16 and it is an excellent way for them to try out their independence while still at home.
I am truly relishing being his "ally". For years, it hasn't felt that way, to Charlie anyway. I am enjoying his excitement. Hopefully, I just won't get hurt in his enthusiasm to demonstrate all the tackles he made at football practice! 
__________________
In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Bridget
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Michigan
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2198
|
| Posted: Sept 07 2005 at 8:45am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Molly,
I don't think you are throwing in the towel. You and Court are doing what you feel is best for Charlie right now. There is NO doubt that you love your children and sacrifice yourself constantly for them. You are always an inspiration to me!
__________________
God Bless,
Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
Our Magnum Opus
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
teachingmyown
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 20 2005
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5128
|
| Posted: Sept 07 2005 at 8:38pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Thanks Bridget! You inspire me with your gentleness and sense of humor.
He is doing well, from what I can get out of him. I feel like your typical comic strip mother trying to pry information out of a teenager. But he is relaxed and talkative if I don't give him the third degree. 
He asked me tonight when prom is and I had to break it to him that in school it was only for seniors (the homeschool prom is for all high schoolers) and a wonderful as he is, it is quite unlikely that he will get an invitation as a freshman!
__________________
In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Cay Gibson
Forum All-Star
Joined: July 16 2005
Location: Louisiana
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5193
|
| Posted: Sept 08 2005 at 1:42pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Molly,
Here's an author I respect. Danielle Bean wrote this today and I thought it would help you. I hope it does. 
Evidently some people fell apart when she blogged that they homeschooled. Oh, that dreaded term!
Oh, Come On...
__________________
Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Willa
Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 28 2005
Location: California
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3881
|
| Posted: Sept 08 2005 at 2:23pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
teachingmyown wrote:
I feel comfortable with our decision. Not thrilled, because I can see the big picture and wanted so much more for his education. I really have come to dislike formal, especially institutional, education and would love to see him decide to come back home and direct his education based on his goals for the future, not the State-mandated Standards of Learning.
|
|
|
Molly,
I know what you mean. I would feel precisely the same way. But I think for all of us, as our kids grow up we realize that our ideals aren't going to all come true. They will take matters into their own hands, and do things differently than we would have had them do. Part of growing up, and part of our job then is to watch, and support, and pray for them  Anyway, I don't believe your faith in a "different" kind of education will be lost on him in the long run. It may be a resource for him when he is learning as an adult, or when he is thinking about how his kids should be educated.
I will include him in intentions for my oldest who is off at college and my second who is discerning his future!~
__________________
AMDG
Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
Take Up and Read
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
TracyQ
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: New York
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1323
|
| Posted: Sept 13 2005 at 6:15pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Molly,
I'm sure this was a very difficult decision for you and Court. I think we can all imagine (or some of us would know) just exactly how you are feeling.
I venture to guess that in a few months time, you'll be able to look back, and see God's hand in every single trial, every single decision, and every single joy and success that comes with being obedient to Christ, even though it's the most difficult thing we can do.
Blessings to you and your family! 
__________________
Blessings and Peace,
Tracy Q.
wife of Marty for 20 years, mom of 3 wonderful children (1 homeschool graduate, 1 12th grader, and a 9th grader),
 homeschooling in 15th year in Buffalo, NY
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Elizabeth
Founder
Real Learning
Joined: Jan 20 2005
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5595
|
| Posted: Sept 13 2005 at 7:20pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
 What a brave, humble, self-sacrificing decision you've made. You are all in my prayers for nothing but blessings this year!
__________________
Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
teachingmyown
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 20 2005
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5128
|
| Posted: Sept 13 2005 at 9:19pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Elizabeth,
Thank you so much! Your words mean so much to me. I had spent a lot of time beating myself up for not being able to make homeschooling work. And I have to admit that I was worried what people, including you, would think about my decision. Like I said before, Court called me on the pride thing when I was holding out for homeschooling.
I remember crying through your talk two years ago at NACHE when I was considering sending Charlie to school then. I am glad that we hung in there for two more years. And I took so much from that talk which is relevant no matter what kind of schooling we pick for our kids. It is that connection that you talked about that I need to keep with him, which I think will be easier for us now that he is happier.
You have always been and continue to be an inspiration to me. Thank you for your prayers and encouragement.
__________________
In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Cay Gibson
Forum All-Star
Joined: July 16 2005
Location: Louisiana
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5193
|
| Posted: Sept 14 2005 at 5:58am | IP Logged
|
|
|
teachingmyown wrote:
| I took so much from that talk which is relevant no matter what kind of schooling we pick for our kids. |
|
|
What I think is so important for all of us to remember---if I might be so bold in saying it --- is that it isn't one another's opinion that is as important as that of our dh and dc. No one else knows the inner workings of our home, etc. Not even the grandparents.
Something I heard Rita Munn from CHC say this summer was, even though she's only educated her dc at home X-# of years, they have always led a hsing lifestyle. That's something worth noting, and I think even the children who attend school let this family light shine forth. It's a lantern in their hand.
I think Court is a very wise man, Molly. 
__________________
Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Leonie
Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 28 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2831
|
| Posted: Sept 14 2005 at 6:15pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Molly,
I have been keeping you and your ds in my thoughts and prayers.
How is school going? Possibly too soon to ask, I guess?
Leonie in Sydney
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
ALmom
Forum All-Star
Joined: May 18 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3299
|
| Posted: Sept 14 2005 at 11:35pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Molly,
Isn't this so much what we were all discussing earlier about the parents being the ones that must make the decision about what is best for their child - whether it is homeschooling, and what type, how much education to delegate, etc.
None of that has changed - this is what you and your husband have done. Our prayers are with you - you have not thrown in the towel. You are still educating your son, you just decided that you needed to delegate more of the academic instruction to free you to educate the heart and soul. How I identify with the struggles of all of this. None of us could ever judge you on what is a prudential judgement that only the parents really have the right to make.
Our prayers are with your family.
Janet
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
teachingmyown
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 20 2005
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5128
|
| Posted: Sept 20 2005 at 6:33pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Well, if I had answered Leonie's question about how school was going when she posted it last week my answer would have been entirely different.
Last week my son was enthusiastic, still loving the new friends and the new experience of playing football. The Sunday before last he actually said to me "Hey Mom, you know what's cool? I get to go back to school tomorrow!" I have never heard anything like that before.
Fast forward to this past Sunday. He spent the day with his homeschooled friends at a CYO picnic. One of the older boys whom we really trust drives, so they really had a lot of freedom all day. When he got home he started telling me that he thought when he got his driver's license that he might want to homeschool again because he would have more freedom. His friend with the car takes a few classes at the community college and homeschools the rest of his classes. I told Charlie that it sounded like a reasonable idea and that we had time to think about it.
This morning he woke up complaining of a sore throat, headache and blurred vision. We told him go back to bed and called the school to say he was sick. I suspected that he was just exhausted, between football, baseball and getting up so early for school. So I let him sleep nice and late.
When he got up he still complained of the symptoms and laid around for a while sipping tea and resting. Then he got out his school work for one of his classes and started doing it so that he would not get behind.
Before long, he was telling me that he hates school and wants to homeschool again. He says that it is boring (no, really?) and he doesn't like his teachers. THere is almost no time to socialize and he has 15 minutes to get to football after his last class. Not quite the great time he expected. (I did say "I told you so" but he says that I didn't tell him it would be this way.)
He can't understand why other kids say they like school. I tried to explain to him that it is all they have ever known. They can't imagine the freedom that a homeschooler has, so they don't miss it.
He promises to work hard at homeschooling and not to complain. He has been baggering me all day.
So now what? My husband, in a very brief conversation about this while I was in the grocery store (gotta love cell phones!), said there is no way we are bringing him home this year. He wants him to stick it out and reminded me that we did not send him to school simply because it was what he wanted.
I had come to realize that I couldn't stay on top of his work, especially if he didn't want to do it. It was also a chance to lighten the intensity and concentrate on my younger kids.
I just don't know what to do. I know the standard parental answer should be to stick it out at least for the semester or year, not to quit what you have started, etc.
He keeps saying that he thought I wanted him to homeschool and didn't like public school.
When does it stop? There is always some conflict going on with this kid.
Any thoughts?
__________________
In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Elizabeth
Founder
Real Learning
Joined: Jan 20 2005
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5595
|
| Posted: Sept 20 2005 at 6:46pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Molly,
You don't need advice about this year because you said
Molly Davis wrote:
My husband, in a very brief conversation about this while I was in the grocery store (gotta love cell phones!), said there is no way we are bringing him home this year. He wants him to stick it out and reminded me that we did not send him to school simply because it was what he wanted. |
|
|
So, that settles that. Wise man!
I think Charlie is absolutely right about driving being a new threshold. It was tough when Michael was old enough to want to do high school co-op classes and have a little more freedom but I couldn't be shuttling him to and fro and be fair to the other six. He drove constantly when he got his permit and got his license as soon as it was legal. Since he'd driven at least four hours a week the whole time of his permit, I let him drive pretty much wherever he needed to be from the get go. He drives himself to practice three times a week. He drives to an homeschool apologetics class and to art class and two separate days. And he drives to an SAT prep class. This seems to be the perfect balance. He has commented dozens of times this year about how he can't imagine juggling a school schedule and SAT prep and the intense soccer schedule he has this fall if he were in school. Frankly, I don't think it can be done. He had SAT prep last night and then he had soccer till ten. He had SAT again today at 4. After every class and before another he's supposed to take a full 3 hour practice test. If he'd been in school, how could he have done that?
It is going to be hard for you if Charlie continues to feel this way all year. You'll be his advocate but you'll also have a new place that you're having to draw the hard line. Bummer. It would have been nice if you could have played good cop all year.
The upside is that CHC is coming out with a high school curriculum this spring. We'll all have another source to pull from and that much more support.
More hugs and prayers coming your way.
__________________
Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
mrsgranola
Forum Pro
Joined: Feb 17 2005
Location: North Carolina
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 442
|
| Posted: Sept 20 2005 at 8:46pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Molly, I'm still praying for you about this! I know it must be very difficult... I don't have a high schooler yet but my Jacob sounds VERY much like your son and he's only in 7th grade this year. If there were a school nearby that was decent, he'd be there this year, I dare say. I'm struggling with ya!
JoAnna
__________________
Mom to Jacob, Grace, Mary, Lucas, Emma, Carrie and Gianna
Parente Adventures
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Leonie
Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 28 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2831
|
| Posted: Sept 21 2005 at 5:15am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Molly,
It sounds like your ds is doing some hard thinking. Excellent!
I will continue to keep you all in thoughts and prayers.
__________________
Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
teachingmyown
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 20 2005
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5128
|
| Posted: Sept 21 2005 at 3:03pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Leonie,
I am so glad my son is making you smile!
I am really thinking this is just the classic "grass is always greener" scenario. I think he is physically tired from a schedule that he is not used to. Now he finds himself weighing the situation and choosing the freedom of hsing over the social aspect of school and sports.
He was pitiful this morning, standing in my bedroom almost crying that he did not want to go. Of course, as a mommy, I felt awful and had all these things running through my head as to why he suddenly is so adament about not going. Is he being bullied? Not likely, he is 5'10" and quite strong and attractive, not exactly a target. Is someone pressuring him to do something he knows he shouldn't? I know he has already been offered drugs, he told me. On and on, my mind was racing.
My husband assured me that the kid is tired and already prone to be a bit lazy and we just need to stand firm.
Another aspect of this is that when we move in a few weeks, he will probably have to switch schools, although we plan to let him finish the semester. On Sunday, I asked him if this bothered him and he said "No, I made a hundred friends my first day of school, so I will just make a hundred new friends at a new school." But I wonder....
Anyway, we pushed him out the door today and will try to ride this out and see if he settles down. If not, we will try to find out if there is a deeper reason.
Thanks for your support.
__________________
In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Leonie
Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 28 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2831
|
| Posted: Sept 21 2005 at 6:38pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Molly,
I am smiling because I admire your ds - he is trying something new and thinmking abouy why homeschooling can be good.
Hope all goes well with your move!
__________________
Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Cay Gibson
Forum All-Star
Joined: July 16 2005
Location: Louisiana
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5193
|
| Posted: Sept 21 2005 at 8:47pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
teachingmyown wrote:
He was pitiful this morning, standing in my bedroom almost crying that he did not want to go. |
|
|
Molly,
He can come stay with us the rest of the week.
They canceled school today and the rest of the week due to the impending hurricane.
__________________
Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
|
|
4Real Forums : High School Years and Beyond
Topic: When do I throw in the towel?
