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Tina P.
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| Posted: Nov 15 2006 at 5:00pm | IP Logged
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I never even wanted to go there. We were in Germany for only six months. Why did we have to go to boring old England? Oh, but by the time we left England, I loved it. I loved the quirky, sometimes rough-around-the-edges people. I loved the bootsales.  I loved the rolling hills and truly pastoral fields of sheep, the white cliffs of Dover (it's true!), the buffeting winds, the large wild areas and the deer almost white and no bigger than my German Shepherd, and the inspired literature and music. I'm so homesick I cry about it and I've lived in the U.S. all my life except for about five years (1/2 in Korea, 1/2 in Germany, and a little over 3 in England). I don't understand the emotions I'm feeling, especially when I read a good book by an English author or listen to music conducted by John Rutter. England inspired me to write. The flame was just barely kindled. Takes a long time to kindle a flame when my mind is zipping in all different directions.  I'd never been so enthused about writing. And then we moved to Utah, where I'm having to handle Mormons ~ I feel constantly on the defensive ~ on top of my daily chores and getting settled in our house.
And now I learn that Hilda Van Stockum has recently passed away. What a depressing day! Notice how much I've responded to posts today because I need to talk/write?
I try to be appreciative of where we are. I love the mountains, already filled with snow. I love the convenience of this place, but ... I don't know how to describe what I'm feeling. So, if anyone knows of a cure for homesickness, please let me know.
Thank you so much!
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Tina, wife to one and mom to 9 + 3 in heaven
Mary's Muse
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Mary G
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| Posted: Nov 15 2006 at 5:15pm | IP Logged
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Tina --
I'm with you -- we were in Austria for only 2 years and we ALL miss it so much. We're settling into Denver nicely, but Austria was so wonderful -- small village life, easy to homeschool (as others we were "hanging with" were homeschooling), lots of different enthnicities to enjoy, great Catholics, you name it and it was there. On top of that, while we were in Austria my favorite bro/SIL and family were in England! Now, we're all living here in Colorado, but still .....
Believe me, Tina, I "feel your pain"! So you have a kindred spirit who understands.....
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guitarnan
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| Posted: Nov 15 2006 at 5:29pm | IP Logged
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Tina,
I've come to the conclusion, after living in Ireland once and Italy twice, that you give as much of yourself to your temporary country as you take away in rich memories. This means you will always feel a tie to the places you've lived or truly loved. This can be a really depressing thing at times. What's helped me is to maintain friendships with the people we knew in those places (now 20+ year friendships!) and/or to find groups of people who also love those countries. I also cook so, so much Italian food. We just returned from Germany (we have close friends there) and I can't stop cooking German food - tonight it's jaegerschnitzel!
It hurts a lot, sometimes. After I left Ireland it felt like part of my heart was torn out. Now I know better how to cope (I was 16 then...), but it's still hard.
I don't think, at this stage, I want a cure. I try to tell my kids, who've spent 2 years in Italy, that they will always be part Italian and thus different from most American kids, but that they will be better, richer people because of the difference. They talk about going back to Italy at least once a week. They will live their whole lives with that ache.
I can truly relate to your feelings...sometimes it's just a smell (burning olive wood, turf fire smoke, etc.) that brings it all rushing back. There isn't a cure. There's just embracing all those lovely memories, saving for a trip back, snuggling up with those great books and cups of tea, and, hopefully, finding friends who understand.
You can add another to the list...me!
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Rachel May
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| Posted: Nov 15 2006 at 8:25pm | IP Logged
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Does Hawaii count? It felt like a foreign country. When we were there, we always used to say, "In America, they do (fill in the blank)."
When we moved to MD last year, I had that same ache for Hawaii, but not for where I lived. Mostly for Molokai where I only spent one beautiful day, but truly felt at home. I begged Bill to take me back.
For me about 6 months dulls the pain enough to let me see the good around me where I am.
Hey Nancy! You need to get done! I'll have moved twice by the time you've finished this one move. Only 6 weeks to go....
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Tina P.
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| Posted: Nov 15 2006 at 8:34pm | IP Logged
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Never fear Nancy, I'm wading through too. And I'm looking for a book I want my kids to start reading after having read the Drovers Road trilogy. Six months, eh Rachel? I've been here for seven and the ache is the sharpest it's ever been! 
As for Italian food, I come from an Italian family. I've never followed a recipe for cooking Italian, it just sort of courses through the veins. Now, Asian on the other hand ... 
Thank you all for understanding. It's good to know there's someone out there who has attraction to places they've been. My husband would rather *not* travel anymore. He's been everywhere. I met him halfway through his military career. Half of the bigger kids would do anything to go back to Europe and the other half would do anything to stay home. I don't know what to think about that. But by the time we save up to go back, they'll ALL be grown and gone anyway. 
I couldn't imagine aching for Hawaii. I like cold dreary places. 
God bless,
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Tina, wife to one and mom to 9 + 3 in heaven
Mary's Muse
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aussieannie
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Dear Tina,
That is most interesting - can I confess to an embarrasing thing? I feel homesick for England and I have never lived there! I wonder if it is the English classics made into wonderful movies that capture it's heart and soul and countryside! I thought, maybe it is because I am close enough to half English? But then why don't I pine over Ireland especially since it's Catholic? As I said, a bit embarrasing.
My husband spent his earlier working life, working 6months in England, 6 in the US, 6 in Canada and he also thinks deeply over England - he googles the town he lived in (Cheedle) and says he would choose to live in England if he had the choice.
So I don't know what to make of it except to say your not alone and have better reason than me to want to live there!
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Christine
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| Posted: Nov 15 2006 at 11:12pm | IP Logged
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My oldest daughter is really missing Switzerland. She and her sister recently spent 3 weeks there and she would like to go back permanently with all of us.
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mom2mpr
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I sometimes feel like I am in another country. There are culteral differences here in our own US of A.
I miss Viginia so deep in my heart. We moved here to Ohio almost 2 years ago and I am still very homesick. It is getting better but the kids and I miss so much of our old life-mountains, trees, mild weather, good friends, southern hospitality, family geographically closer than here, more openness to homeschooling, etc. I was going to post asking for cures for homesickness too! I am glad to know I am not alone..
I started a gratitude list-of things that are positives here-like ds's wonderful piano teacher, the orchestra concerts we rarely miss, decent restaurants, our church and Catholic co-op. That helps on days I just miss things so very much.
Anne
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guitarnan
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| Posted: Nov 16 2006 at 7:47am | IP Logged
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Rachel,
We're getting there, really...just slowly. I freely confess that I'd rather spend time with my family than slog through boxes!
And, Tina, my husband says to tell you that there are times when the fact that he's not in Italy causes him to spiral into a depression.
(And...if you want to know about space-A travel, let me know...we just did it.)
Here's a link to our former hometown in Italy, Maranola di Formia:
Maranola photos
Every December they transform the old town into a live Nativity, with music, animals, demonstrations of old dances and handcrafts...they put it on for three amazing days. It's magical.
Perhaps we're eating Italian food tonight!
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Carole N.
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| Posted: Nov 16 2006 at 8:32am | IP Logged
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I can relate to these feelings. Although I have never lived in Europe, I traveled there on a couple of occasions. I fell in love with the culture, the appreciation of life, the thankfulness of just living, being there.
I an an anglophile by nature (and degree). My first love has always been England. But I also love Spain and Italy...
If I could have my choice ... a quaint village ... in rolling hills ... it would be hard to choose.
Just so long as I had my family along for the ride.
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doris
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Hey, Tina, are you saying that England is cold and dreary  ? Of course you miss dear old Blighty!
Seriously, though, I know where you're coming from. We moved in the summer -- just from Cambridge to London! But I found it really, really hard, and some days would even complain that it felt like I was having a bad dream and should any moment wake up and find myself back in Cambridge... Feeling like that didn't help in terms of acclimatising myself and making new friends. Anyway, the main things that have helped me so far are the obvious ones -- praying for a church to feel at home in; making the effort to get to know people; and getting involved -- the latter meaning also being busy so you're part of the new place and not just an exile from the old place.
Actually, as others have said -- it's a blessing that you've had these experiences and hopefully over time the pain will subside.
Elizabeth in cold and dreary London
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Tina P.
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| Posted: Nov 20 2006 at 10:13pm | IP Logged
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doris wrote:
| Hey, Tina, are you saying that England is cold and dreary ? |
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Gee, I guess I am! Places where it's too cold to go outside for very long much of the year and where there is ever so much history to soak in are those places where I *find* my creativity.
We lived sort of near Cambridge. We lived at Lakenheath AFB in Suffolk. I cannot imagine living in a big city like Cambridge, muchless LONDON! Yikes! I need a lot more wide open spaces. I am so much not a city girl.
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Tina, wife to one and mom to 9 + 3 in heaven
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Is anyone homesick for a foreign country?
