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Cay Gibson
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Am I the only one feeling like staying home tonight?
I know I'm not, but in my family I am. 
I would love to just stay home and watch a movie and roast hot dogs. But the two younger ones want to dress-up and go to the grandparents and godparents' house and then to a church party. I've just completed their costumes and am waiting for dh to get home so we can leave.
I know they'll have fun and I never wanted to become one of those "grandparent types" who stay home and never take their children to do anything. That's not to poke fun, but gosh, I'm feeling the stirrings...
Is it my age?
I'm thinking the more I focus on my faith-life the less I want to do these "outside" things. I want to stay home and do festivities here but I'm not up to throwing a whole party fest and I want to go with my family wherever they go. I'm doing it for the children, I keep telling myself.
We have our hs All Saint's Party this Friday at the park after Mass. I think I'll make it through that okay but tonight I just want to rest. 
Does anyone else wish they had never started doing all the outside festivities when their children were young?
What is everyone else doing tonight?
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Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
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stefoodie
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We're home. The only time the children ever went trick-or-treating was when we were in a small street 8 years ago and all the seniors were expecting them to come and get some candy. So the past 7 years they've dressed up and handed out candy at the door instead. We're having some chicken soup with rice tonight and playing Monopoly after the trick-or-treaters are done. And we'll share some chocolates, but that's about it.
I'm 38 by the way, and I don't think age has anything to do with it 
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Carole N.
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Cay Gibson wrote:
I'm thinking the more I focus on my faith-life the less I want to do these "outside" things. I want to stay home and do festivities here but I'm not up to throwing a whole party fest and I want to go with my family wherever they go. I'm doing it for the children, I keep telling myself.
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I am with you on this.
We are staying at home as well. My two younger children are passing out candy. We are having a simple meal.
When my children were younger, there was a large group of Catholic HS in town. We used to have a Saints Party. I am the only remaining HS of that group.
Carole N.
From the Heartland
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Willa
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This will be an easy Halloween. The older kids made their own costumes and the little ones are recycling old ones we have around the house. The youngest is almost 4 so the older ones can take the littler ones door to door and my husband and I can just stroll along and hold hands. We're usually out for less than an hour. We aren't going to any of the parties or harvest festivals etc. Our homeschool group may have a little celebration this Friday.
I think I am getting a bit burnt out after so very many Halloween's so I know what you're talking about Cay, but the kids enjoy it very much. Nothing sinister in our community -- just fun to dress up and play a different role, go outside in the dark all together, see the decorations, and come home with some candy. They like to dress up as characters from books, movies or history --- nothing weird. Lots of times the costumes end up in our dress-up chest to be re-used in other contexts. We live fairly quietly most of the time so it's a nice event for them.
I'm 43 and not a grandma yet, but some in my peer group ARE I know so I realize I have some of the biological tendencies to want to sit in front of a fire and read or knit or something
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Elizabeth
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I haven't liked Halloween--ever. I didn't like to dress up and talk to strangers when I was little and I'm not real fond of the whole thing now, truth be told. But I think my mom once said I acted like a grandma when I was ten .
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Cici
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Elizabeth wrote:
| I haven't liked Halloween--ever. I didn't like to dress up and talk to strangers when I was little and I'm not real fond of the whole thing now, truth be told. But I think my mom once said I acted like a grandma when I was ten . |
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Are we sisters? Same here.
I'm lucky, though. My in-laws came over and took the kiddos trick-or-treating while I stayed home and passed out candy (dh is out of town tonight). TOT is from 6 - 7:30 here, so we're done. Kids are in the tub, story time is around the corner, and I'm looking forward to a warm cuppa something in about 1 hour - alone. In the quiet.  
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JennGM
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Halloween exhausts me, but we do it for the kids, right? We did pumpkin carving last night, my son was a lion tonight.
My child is only 3, but I've spent a few hours in the car driving to relatives' houses to "TOT". I do it for my child and the family members. It meant so much for my grandmother to have us visit her on Halloween...and even at almost 90 she'd dress up and wait for us to come over with our kids.
It will be one year on Nov. 16 since she died. My mother lives farther out then the rest of the family, but I visited her first, and there she was wearing some of her mother's old costumes. Now it means so much to her to have us come to her. Tearing up a little... 
Then we visited a few other cousins and aunts and uncles...and the rectory (but the priests weren't home). We pick the people who know us, who know my son's allergies. The outpouring of love and special consideration for his special diet was so touching.
Just trying to make some happy memories for my son...and in the meantime, I get them, too.
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Dawn
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We had a very full day but it was all family stuff - went to the farm for breakfast, carved the pumpkin, made caramel apples and then visited my grandma and folks.
Every year Bill takes the boys round the immediate neighborhood (I stay in to pass out candy) and we have some friends in for cider and cookies.
I'm tired now, but it was worth it! During prayers tonight my middle son thanked me for the best Halloween.
I have never been one for going out to parties and such. I like things homey.  I've always been this way, though!
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lapazfarm
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I am getting too old for this, but unfortunately my kids are not!LOL! We have to drive into town to a neighborhood to go TOTing as we live out in the middle of nowhere. But I did it for my older kids and I want my youngers to have the same fun and happy memories as the olders and as I have from when I was a kid. So, I drag my tired old rear around the neighborhood once again! And this time I brought my grandson and it was his first time!What fun to watch his little face light up! That is enough to get me going once more.
Other than trick or treating, we went to a party at my dh's boss's home on saturday and ds went to Carowinds (an amusement park) for their halloween celebration ("Scare"-owinds)this weekend. All in good fun.
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Becky Parker
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I can relate Cay. I was really not looking forward to the party and candy tonight. I have to admit, it did end up being lots of fun though. The kids dressed up as saints and our homeschool group met in the church where our priest had each one stand up and tell who they were dressed as and something special about that saint. Then he said a prayer of blessing and we all went to the Hall and had a soup pot luck dinner. Then, we did "trunk or treating". Everyone had a bag of candy in the trunk of their car (or I should say back of their van) and the kids ran from car to car saying "trunk or treat". They loved it! We ended with the prayer to St. Michael then all went home. It was a nicer evening than I thought it was going to be.
I do want to add though that I find myself being drawn more and more to stay at home family occasions. I don't even care to take my kids on group field trips anymore. I guess I'm getting a little burned out but it seems we are more peaceful (or at least I'm more peaceful) when we are home. I guess I'm going to have to think about this a while. I don't know what God is asking of me. Just wandering with some thoughts before I finish my candy bar and head to bed!!
Becky
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Sarah
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Tonight I miss my kids who are at a hs All-Saints day party. I am too sick with this pregnancy to do anything other than lie on the couch. 
I miss everyone. I hope they're having fun.
I suggested we just stay home this year since Mom is sick and that did NOT go over well with my oldest. He is very social. I gave in since we hardly ever do anything. I am a home-body.
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MacBeth
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I love Halloween, and all that goes with it. It's Annika's birthday, and we always have a party, trick or treat, and everything. Our village is perfect for the night, with every house decorated, and only 1 square mile to cover. I guess I'm the odd one out here.
But my kids are getting older. Instead of going out, Libby and a friend sat out front with candy to distribute, dressed as ghosts, playing ragtime tunes on violin and trombone. Looks like we will always find great ways to celebrate !
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Natalia
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Halloween has never meant much for me but my kids like it. Thankfully my dh took them trick or treating and I stayed home. When my oldest was young, trick or treating was a novelty for me. So my dh and I will take her. I even went when my second child came into the scene. Now with the third, well, it is another story. The novelty has worn off. So now staying home passing out candy and reading a good book (I am reading A Tale of Two Cities) is heavenly!
Natalia
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Bridget
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I just blogged about our All Saints party. It IS exhausting. Luckily, now my older kids get the younger ones costumes put together and take them out for the hay ride and such during the party. It's kind of a wild party, wholesome, but wild.
What a lovely Mass we had too!
Happy Birthday, Annika!
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chicken lady
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Cay I feel your sentiment, I was sharing with a friend tonight that Halloween, All Saints, and All Souls is like the Easter Tridium around here. We have so much happening, and tonight as I drove to town to let the dc TOT it was pouring rain. Now I know we are the same age Cay, so perhaps it is our age, but TOT in pouring rain is miserable!! Tomorrow our parish has its big shin dig, a birthday party, trip to the cemetary (to pray for those poors souls) and mass, not to mention violin lessons, reading tutors, Little flowers and astronomy all in the same glorious feast day. Yes I want to stay home and read a book, I am OLD Good thing dc got all those yummy reeses cups
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SuzanneG
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I was just thinking the same thing about the Reese's cups!
I've never liked Halloween, and I ALWAYS want to stay home. I Echo all the "exhausted sentiments" too....and I'm not even pregnant or post-partum this year! We had our All Saints Party on Sunday and that completely wore me out, but my in-laws are here, so I can't hibernate completely.
Thanks for starting this thread, Cay, I feel a bit more "normal"....reading your posts, knowing that I'm not the only one.
Suzanne in WA
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Servant2theKing
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Cay, I share your tuggings to stay home...In fact, when our last three came along (after more than a decade of infertility following the older ones) I started feeling the urge to be a homebody more and more. The younger ones have stayed home much more than the olders did, and are none the worse for doimg so. They've been to a smattering of All Saints' parties through the years, but we mostly make the evening a family thing. Last night we had our own celebration for All Hallow's Eve. The children came up with their own dress-ups for Sts. Patrick, John Vianneu, Francisco Marto and Therese. We sang the Litany of the Saints and prayed the Rosary, then enjoyed homemade pizza, cider, donuts, popcorn and treats while we watched library videos...the night was peaceful and lovely with just enough festivities to satisfy young hearts. Homebodies of the world unite! "Travel east, travel west; after all, home is best!"
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Mary G
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I LOVE having the kids dress up -- they really do look cute in their little costumes. I DON't LOVE having them go door-to-door "begging" for candy! I wish there was a better way ... like a big party or something they could go to but that never seems to work out.
When we were in SC, NO ONE went tot'ing becuase many were anti-Halloween and the Protestants had "harvest festivals" instead, which always seemed weird too.
I guess, the bottom line for me is that Halloween seems to have become such an adult (or really big kid) type event -- where the kids come around with pillowcases and often no costume (unless you can call their everyday clothes a costume ) -- and the scariness is rather off-putting.....
That said, Halloween means we're heading into all the wonderful feasts of November and then Advent and then Christmas -- so from that point of view, Halloween is fabulous!
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Cay Gibson
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Well, we did have fun. I knew we would.
It's mostly all the preparation before that gets me.
We ended up at one of the supermarkets that was handing out candy on the way to the church party and we saw flocks of children going into a very nice subdivision across the road. DH asked the children what they wanted to do and they voted for door-to-door.
It was actually very nice. Our evening turned out much like Willa described. The people were all so nice and had gone through lots of trouble in decorating their houses and treating the kids. Having lived in the country, our children have never had the chance to go door-to-door except to the grandparents and godparents.
On the walk back to the truck I asked my 9-yr-old what she preferred...church parties or door-to-door. She said church parties were fun cause they offered lots of games and prizes. But the door-to-door was fun because she felt like Molly (an American Girl) who got to do the same. She described in detail Molly's Halloween adventure. Book Talk even on Halloween night on a dark street. Who knew? Talk about living out a favorite character's life for one night.
The girls were exhausted though. Annie got tired after three houses and said her stomach hurt. I took Chels a little further and Mark followed with a lacking pony...literally. Annie was a princess on a unicorn. Even my 13 yr old got into the spirit and he generally thinks Halloween is "dumb". He refuses to dress-up and participate. I discovered he's a great flashlight holder and piggy-back rider for little sisters.
While I would rather have stayed home, I knew I wouldn't. The family wants me to go with them, so I do it for them. But my melancholy-self would have preferred being with my oldest dd who spent the evening at the funeral home saying a rosary for her friend. Today she's at the funeral. Perhaps that's a better way (despite how sad the occasion) to observe the day.
But I don't want my children to think of me as sad and melancholy. I want them to see the joy of living...yes, even in getting dressed-up and gathering lots of candy.
But I am getting ho-hum about it. The reality hit me the day before when Opa came by, looked down at our uncarved pumpkin and said, "Haven't done your jack-o-lantern yet?"
I hadn't even thought about doing it!!!! With the older kids I use to make such a big-to-do out of those simple things.  Oldest ds came home and gladly did the j-o-l with his little sisters. And he had a comment too. "Gosh, Mom, this use to be a major project...back when you cared," said with a sly grin and twinkle in his eye. He knows how to bring out the hag in me.
I want to be present because I am present. I want my children to remember me doing these things with them. It's part of being part of the living. And I want the younger ones to have as much of me as the older ones did.
Still...there are nights I'd rather cozy up separate from the events and just watch from a distance. But that's not living in the moment, is it? I didn't enter a monastery in the desert. I entered a home full of life and love. And life is a celebration, isn't it?
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Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
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ladybugs
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We had a blast last night and the older I get the more I'm enjoying Halloween!
I love seeing how creative - or not - my kids will be regarding their costumes. I love the joy we bring when we go to our neighbors houses who are elderly or the one's who don't have their grandchildren nearby. I love the imagination of it all!
Must be the drama queen in me.
Anyway, better run. Gotta get ready for Mass.
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Comings and Goings Tonight?
