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Michaela
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| Posted: Jan 02 2012 at 5:11pm | IP Logged
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An extended family member, who just came back into my life posted today about going to have her tubes tied on Wednesday. She turned 25 last month...has 5 children....not married.
She posted she's scared.
I want to respond, but don't really know what to say. I can't talk to her about being open to life, nfp, ect and change her mind in under 48 hrs. Her life isn't my life. I pray for her every day, not because of this, but her life is so sad.
Would you ignore a FB post like that?
editing to change: she isn't married, but engaged. She changed her status to married...just because.
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Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
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guitarnan
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| Posted: Jan 02 2012 at 5:21pm | IP Logged
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No...I don't think I could.
I'd probably pray a LOT and then send a private message saying I was praying for her and that she could always postpone this procedure if she wished...
...and then I would pray a LOT again.
I will be praying for you and for her.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Jan 02 2012 at 5:31pm | IP Logged
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I agree with Nancy. It may take very little time to change her mind. Sometimes just having someone "on your side" to not do something you don't really want to do is all that is needed. Maybe she's feeling pressured to do it as the "right thing". And a simple comment like Nancy mentioned may be enough to give someone like that a "way out".
But certainly pray for her and tell her you are doing so. It is such a wonderful feeling to know that people are holding you up in prayer when you're going through a difficult time.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Michaela
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| Posted: Jan 02 2012 at 5:58pm | IP Logged
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Thank you so much! How to respond has been on my mind all day.
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Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
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kristinannie
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| Posted: Jan 02 2012 at 6:54pm | IP Logged
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I really think that one of the problems we have as Christians is that we don't speak up when someone is entering into sin. Of course, everything needs to be spoken in love. I would talk to her before she does the procedure. She might just need some support. Maybe it is her husband's idea? I would tell her why the Church does not believe in sterilization. I know some great materials you can send her, but there isn't time for that. I would just say that you are praying for her and you are there if she ever needs to talk. You sound like a wonderful friend!
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John Paul 8.5
Meredith Rose 7
Dominic Michael 4.5
Katherine Elizabeth 8 months
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Erin
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| Posted: Jan 02 2012 at 10:12pm | IP Logged
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The fact that she admits she is scared says she is not confident with her choice. A pm in love could well make a difference. Praying for her.
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Erin
Faith Filled Days
Seven Little Australians
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cathhomeschool
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Texas Bluebonnets
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| Posted: Jan 04 2012 at 11:36am | IP Logged
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I agree with Nancy too. And continue to pray lots for her and ask the Holy Spirit to guide your words as you type. Ask that it be Him speaking through you and that if it's His will, you will have the opportunity to talk to her. You never know...perhaps this is the reason she came back into your life (even if not to speak to her but to pray more diligently for her).
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Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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MaryM
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| Posted: Jan 04 2012 at 11:57am | IP Logged
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Praying for her today as I see it is Wednesday. Paryers for you, too, Michaela.
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Mary M. in Denver
Our Domestic Church
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Michaela
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| Posted: Jan 04 2012 at 6:56pm | IP Logged
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Even though she didn't change her mind (the surgery took place early this morning) I have no regrets sending her a PM. I was nervous that she would be upset and not be able to read the tone  but she let me know she is glad that to have someone who cares for her.
Did/Do I expect an immediate conversion? No.
I plan to show her as much love as I can. No matter what.
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Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
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guitarnan
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| Posted: Jan 04 2012 at 9:48pm | IP Logged
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Michaela, that is all - and everything - you can do. Sometimes it's how we do what we do that effects a later conversion. I've seen miracles happen, when it comes to conversions, so I am very happy you are prepared to love and pray for this family member for as long as it takes. I am thankful that she could see how much love went into your message to her. Perhaps some day she will ask you how you found enough love to send her a note!
Thank you for sharing this important intention with us. I will continue to pray for your family member...as a young mom with children to care for, she surely needs all of our prayers!
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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MaryM
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| Posted: Jan 04 2012 at 9:58pm | IP Logged
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I agree with Nancy. 
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Mary M. in Denver
Our Domestic Church
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Michaela
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| Posted: July 09 2012 at 2:14pm | IP Logged
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A few days ago, my "extended family member" announced that even though she had the tubal in January, she is about 12 weeks pregnant.
A reminder that GOD is in control.
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Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
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lapazfarm
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| Posted: July 09 2012 at 3:25pm | IP Logged
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Wow! How is that even possible? 
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Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
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organiclilac
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| Posted: July 09 2012 at 3:38pm | IP Logged
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Wow! What wonderful news! I'm sure it was a shock, though, so prayers as they mentally readjust to the situation.
lapazfarm wrote:
| Wow! How is that even possible? |
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Sterilization is not 100% effective unless the ovaries (or testicles) are actually removed. A priest I know is fond of telling the story of a couple who were both sterilized and still got pregnant (and sued their doctors  ). The risk of ectopic pregnancy goes up significantly in cases like this, but I would assume by 12 weeks they would know, and so that's not a problem?
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Tracy, wife to Shawn, mama to Samuel (4/01) and Joseph (11/11), and Thomas (2/15)
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: What can I say? or do I?
