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Angel
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| Posted: Nov 16 2012 at 9:00am | IP Logged
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I'm trying to get our days back into shape after letting them sag due to pregnancy issues, and then dh's travel, sickness... etc. I have a few problems to work out, and I was wondering if y'all had any ideas.
My biggest problem is that my younger boys really can't do much independent work, but without structure, they spend most of their time bickering and fighting. In particular the 5 year old (a young kindergartener) spends most of his day tormenting my 2.5 yo. I think nearly everyone in our family has reached the end of our ropes with his behavior. In fact, he is driving us all insane. Jealousy and competition are also problems I need to deal with among my younger boys -- dyslexic 9 yo who cannot read independently yet, 7 yo twins (roughly 1st grade) who aren't reading either, and the 5 yo.
As an example... yesterday I sat down on the couch to listen to one of my twins read to me. The twins are reading from the same book. There was a bookmark in the book where the 1st twin had left off. The 2nd twin decided he felt like reading somewhat beyond that point. So his brother, instead of going to play with the 2 yo as I told him he might do for a few minutes before I could sit down with him again, sat down on the couch and said, "BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!" as loud as he could every time his twin opened his mouth to read past the point where he had read.
Ok, so my husband laughed, too, but at the time, it was infuriating! Then I had to spend 20 minutes with him in discipline because the twins both have incredibly strong personalities and discipline is always a long, involved, and exhausting affair.
20 minutes is a long time for an energetic 7 yo to wait in order to keep reading.
The morning goes on like this. I don't have enough independent work for the boys to do to keep them busy while I'm working with other people; they don't like to color and have a really short attention span for a lot of things, and I have no space to set out Montessori. I actually have to monitor all Montessori activities in a fairly hawklike fashion anyway, because the boys will often fight over them or use them inappropriately in a matter of five or ten minutes.
I ordered the twins some workbooks, which should help, because they kind of like workbooks, but I'll still need to give them help so they can work in them.
Any ideas?
Currently our day is set up like this (roughly):
*Breakfast/chores
*Morning prayers and read aloud, focusing on the older kids (9 yo and up) because the younger boys have too much energy and won't sit still for a book, so I let them go upstairs and build Legos or whatever while I try to work in something that could count for high school literature. I try to find a book everyone might like, so the boys do sometimes listen in.
*Work time until lunch. If we get a late start, sometimes this is not very long. Teens are very independent here. I devote this time to the younger boys. It's my goal to get the basics done here with the 5 and 7 yos.
*lunch, outside, clean up
*Read aloud to younger boys (usually history or science or lit)
*Quiet time. Absolutely necessary for the teens to concentrate on Latin and Algebra.
*Work time with my 9 yo - mainly math. (I have been doing some spelling/reading with him in the morning, and he does an independent reading program on the computer in the afternoon.)
Only the 2 yo naps, so the 5 and 7 yos are sort of roaming freely at this point, which is often Not Good.
I also help the teens with math and *try* to get in a Lost Tools of Writing session with them.
*Make dinner and get ready for dh to get home. (We are often doing some sort of school until 4 or 4:30.)
That's the skeleton of our day. I am not by nature a meticulous planner -- and I don't have a lot of time to plan -- but I think this is what those little boys need, at least for a while. They are not the kind of boys who entertain themselves very well... or at least, the ways they choose to entertain themselves are NOT the kinds of ways that are approved of in a civilized society, kwim?
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Angela
Mom to 9, 7 boys and 2 girls
Three Plus Two
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lapazfarm
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| Posted: Nov 16 2012 at 2:44pm | IP Logged
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You live where it is still nice weather outside, right?
Maybe you could split outside/lunch time for your littles having some go out and some stay in for reading, then switch them?
I'd definitely think about having the twins read from different books to reduce competition.
As for increasing independent work, maybe you could make a case for an iPad? So many great educational apps on there that could keep one child busy and happy for a while so you can work with another child. This might be a way to keep a twin busy while the other is reading.
Maybe spread chores out through the day so that some are doing chores while others are doing school?
That's all I've got for now.
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Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
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SallyT
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| Posted: Nov 16 2012 at 3:36pm | IP Logged
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Those are really good ideas. I'd second the judicious use of educational apps as a way of keeping one child focused while you work with another child. I don't have an iPad, but I have bought some apps for my laptop -- Schoolzone math and spelling and a few other Macbook apps which both my 8- and 10yos enjoy (notably, lately, one called "Speak and Learn German")-- and being able to shunt one child to the computer for what feels like play but is some practice in math or language skills has been a great smoother-out of our days. I find that this really cuts down on the "Mom! I need help! Now! Or I can't possibly answer any question on this page!" syndrome that seems to come up when I have someone parked with what would seem to be manageable independent work.
Sally
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Angel
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| Posted: Nov 17 2012 at 7:28am | IP Logged
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Yeah, the iPad is currently under contention.  My non-reading 9 yo uses it... almost constantly... to listen to audible books I load onto it, most of which are the kind of books I would like him to read for school (with the exception of the How to Train Your Dragon series, although it is admittedly *so* much better than the movie.) Anyway, I really need to make a schedule for its use.
I didn't know you could load apps onto your mac, though. That's a possibility here as well.
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Angela
Mom to 9, 7 boys and 2 girls
Three Plus Two
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Barb.b
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| Posted: Nov 17 2012 at 7:39am | IP Logged
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One thought hit me - have you sat down and asked all the kids for solutions. Sometimes kids see more of the problem then you think and can help figure out what to do.
Barb
edited to add: how many older kids do you have? You could have them each watch the younger ones - even if each took 1/2 hour per day - that would help. Also, maybe if you could do a mothers day out 2 mornings each week - although I realize that may not be feasible or desirable. One last thought - you mentioned you husband - is he ever home during the day? If so - enlist his aid! Also, (when he is done laughing at the antics of the 2.5 year old) ask him for concrete suggestions.
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CrunchyMom
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| Posted: Nov 17 2012 at 7:55am | IP Logged
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Angel wrote:
Yeah, the iPad is currently under contention. My non-reading 9 yo uses it... almost constantly... to listen to audible books I load onto it, most of which are the kind of books I would like him to read for school (with the exception of the How to Train Your Dragon series, although it is admittedly *so* much better than the movie.) Anyway, I really need to make a schedule for its use.
I didn't know you could load apps onto your mac, though. That's a possibility here as well. |
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A basic mp3 player is very affordable and might free up the iPad some.
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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Mimip
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| Posted: Nov 17 2012 at 9:14am | IP Logged
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Quote:
A basic mp3 player is very affordable and might free up the iPad some. |
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That is what I was thinking as well.
Also, I think you need to separate the boys and have them do very different things at the same time to reduce competition.
I like the idea of having the older ones rotate to monitor the younger ones. It literally could be as little as 20 minutes of their time but might help out a bunch for you. Assign a chore that the older one already does to have a little one partner. My best frined does this with her kids so that when 16 ds walks the dog at noon, 5ds goes with him. When 14ds cleans up the living room, 7dd does it with him, and so on. That might help with burning off some energy.
You might also need a family meeting to discuss how we treat our siblings with respect while they are schooling. 7 and 5 year olds need to learn that they need to be respectful to all of their siblings while they are working. (NOt that you haven't taught them that yet, but a reminder meeting might be in order.)
It tough with all those ages and with energetic boys to boot but I think you need find a series of large motor skills that will burn some of that energy. Maybe a hula hoop, a jump rope, calisthenics like 20 jumping jacks and such.
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In Christ,
Mimi
Wife of 16 years to Tom, Mom of DD'00, DD'02, '04(in heaven) DS'05, DS'08 and DS '12
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Nov 17 2012 at 10:36am | IP Logged
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Also hold out something that they LOVE to do.. so that when you have to deal with one of them.. the other can do something "fun" the rivalry would help you out there.
For instance...
Quote:
yesterday I sat down on the couch to listen to one of my twins read to me. The twins are reading from the same book. There was a bookmark in the book where the 1st twin had left off. The 2nd twin decided he felt like reading somewhat beyond that point. So his brother, instead of going to play with the 2 yo as I told him he might do for a few minutes before I could sit down with him again, sat down on the couch and said, "BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!" as loud as he could every time his twin opened his mouth to read past the point where he had read.
Ok, so my husband laughed, too, but at the time, it was infuriating! Then I had to spend 20 minutes with him in discipline because the twins both have incredibly strong personalities and discipline is always a long, involved, and exhausting affair.
20 minutes is a long time for an energetic 7 yo to wait in order to keep reading.
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Now, if this situation were to happen again.. and the one who was supposed to be reading was dismissed to go and do something that is highly desirable while you deal with the other one. Is the one causing the problems as likely to do so the next time when he knows it means his brother gets EXTRA time doing something that is highly restricted?
Or... apparently your attention is highly desired and by spending that much time on discipline, you're just feeding the idea that misbehaving gets what you want (mom's time)
or.. the discipline should have happened when the second one did not leave the area to go play when you told him, rather than waiting until he disrupted things.
I found with my older boy that his ability to focuse was so much better after exercise.. we live on a dead end street so when things would get chaotic I'd send him (and the girls too!) out to run to the end of the street and back. It made such a difference. Plus it gave us a great transitional activity.. they'd get out and run and come back and we could start the new whatever it was.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Nov 17 2012 at 10:50am | IP Logged
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Reading outloud to mom happens at different times here.. more randomly.. like when the kids are busy I can pull one away.. or I'll listen in while an older sibling reads to a younger one.
Otherwise we actually do things at the same time. I found it's just too hard on me to be doing different subjects all at the same time. I do much better with everyone working on math at the table and when they need help the one that needs help comes to mom..
If they can't sit at the table together.. then they can sit in different parts of the room (the floor works) and I've been known to give very specific undesirable locations where they need to stay to keep them from messing with each other.. good news is that as they learn that messing with each other means you get put where you don't like having to work.. it happens less (notice I don't say "never" )
and  I know it's exhausting. I have a stubborn persistent almost 6 yr old that is finally figuring out that "mom wins". She'd always been rather difficult but when I was in the hospital last year for the baby, she just got out of hand. And so we've spent the last year with "mom wins" and "you can't do that because you don't listen".. and she's doing well enough she got to be in the Missoula Children's Theatre production this week. 
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Mrs. A
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| Posted: Dec 07 2012 at 6:26pm | IP Logged
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I don't have advice to offer - just hugs. I don't have the older kids to worry about but the situation you described could have happened in my home with any of my oldest three (aged 6, 4 and 2). I will be following along with great interest.
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4Real Forums : Planning and Ordering our Days
Topic: Problems with ordering the day
