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TheresaS
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| Posted: May 08 2008 at 4:30am | IP Logged
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I'm finding myself in a quandry with regards to house work, and I was wondering whether any of you could point me in the right direction. I spend far to much time doing housework, and I really feel that it is impacting on the time and attention I have to give to home educating the older children and playing with the little ones - I'm also very worried by how on earth I'm going to manage if I become pregnant again.
I have 5 children ds10, ds8, dd4, ds2 and ds11 months. The two bigger boys do help with tidying up and looking after the little ones when I'm cooking. It's really only the last year that things seem to have got so bad, the amount of food that I'm cooking has really jumped with my ealdest eating more than dh and I (and he's skinny!) and the two littlest eating a fair amount now, the meals that used to work well, now are much more time consuming. The amount of washing I do has also jumped. I've cut back on activities outside the house bacause they were meaning that the daily cooking and cleaning weren't being done, but it's gone too far, I feel tied to the house and I'm not able to give enough attention to the children. Dh is working towards promotion in the next year or two which will mean much longer hours and the thought of that and more little ones make me want to cry, - I'm sure that it shouldn't be this way, I'm not afraid of hard work, but what worked when we had two small children isn't working now, and I don't know what to do to make it work.
Any suggestions welcome,
Theresa
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LucyP
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| Posted: May 08 2008 at 6:41am | IP Logged
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Theresa, I know what you mean, I think. For me, I do housework for 30-45 minutes a day, at a set time, with the children "assisting" usually, and then that is it. I have a detailed plan to ensure that all the tasks get done once per month (like scrubbing tops of kitchen units, cleaning windows, dusting book shelves, de-cobwebbing etc). Outside of that chore time, I do dishes, cook, vacuum downstairs once a day (while we have a baby and a dog; when baby is older or dog dies I will go back to 3x a week), and do laundry (typically one load a day + nappies as needed).
Now I do deliberatly seek ways to do less dishes (rinsing cups, not washing them after each use etc) and to do less washing (even the children's clothes usually get worn more than one day). I think one has to stop and think about how to save work, you know really plan it - and then you have to be able to let go what goes undone or waits for later and that can be HARD for some of us. But when you know you will wash the floor tommorrow it seems less important that there is a footprint on it.
But I only have two children (4 and 1) so I have not walked in your footsteps!
God bless you as you seek to do your best for your family.
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mom2mpr
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| Posted: May 08 2008 at 7:13am | IP Logged
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I agree with LucyP. You need to let go of a lot when you are homeschooling. My house will never be House Beautiful, but maybe my kids will? 
I use the dw at least twice a day. I put EVERYTHING in it and then just hand wash things once a day that don't fit, don't get clean, or I know won't get clean in the dw--and it only takes a few minutes. I did a "study" a few months ago about unloading the dw--it only takes me 2-3 minutes! My procrastination took hours!  I have also started "training" the kids to put things IN the DW, not on the counter for me to put in.
Laundry is done pretty much daily. We have a septic and I do work better in smaller doses(a-la FlyLady). I do one to two loads a day and goal is, note I said goal, to have it back in it's place by bedtime. Goal is not usually met but there are clean clothes somewhere in the house!
I got a Roomba and Scooba. They are my slaves. Roomba is a robotic vacuum and he does 1-2 rooms a day. Just set him up in a room, close the door and he vacuums--and pretty well, better than me not doing it! After falling in love with him, I decided to try the Scooba-floor washing robot. While he is not perfect I also love him as he can wash my floor decently-and again it gets done more than I would do it, because it is so easy to just set him up and leave. And I have a big, shedding lab in the house--so need to vacuum daily. I multi-task and do something else while he works.
I set my priorities for the house and then worked from there. We have cobwebs, dirty windows and screens, weeds in our gardens, fingerprints on the fridge, dust, etc. My priorities were a clean kitchen to prepare healthy meals in, clean beds weekly(or every 2 weeks at the most), clean bathrooms(which are done each time I am in there--one task per visit-and visit different bathrooms each visit), clothes, and floors. Everything else is when I can or it bothers me so I make time to do it.
FlyLady helped me years ago and I used her to get motivated and start working on my home.
Also, I reward myself, and the kids, for completing a big household task(like organizing the basement) we go to a playground when we are done. The rest of the house will wait.
Hang in there. Housework is the one thing that never gets done. The house is always being used and it never fails that you clean something and it doesn't last but an hour!
Anne
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missionfamily
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| Posted: May 08 2008 at 8:06am | IP Logged
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Theresa--I have five little ones exactly the same ages as yours and I sooooooooo understand. I easily fall into the same situation, stressing about the house, working on it constantly, feeling like I can't leave because I won't get things done. I have to keep a schedule and focus on one thing at a time.
I do housework in the morning before the kids wake up while the coffee is brewing and the baby is eating breakfast.
After breakfast while the kids are getting dressed, brushing their teeth, and making their beds.
During their outside time before lunch.
In the afternoons, I try to make from 4-7 pm kitchen time. Cooking dinner is one big task, but I try to stay in the kitchen and accomplish as much as I can while I'm there: clean out the fridge, fold laundry, bring the laptop and pay bills or type a narration from the day's school work, or do some extra baking or chopping or preparing of food. After that, mom is off kitchen duty....I turn off the lights in there and only the water cooler is available.
I do a quick pick up of baths and living areas while the kids settle down for bed.
Outside these times, I try to present to the kids for learning and to get outside with them. Even if I work in the garden while they play, they are content to have me beside them in the yard.
I have a friend who often reminds me that these are the most difficult years, when no one is quite old enough to really delegate to and there are so many littles. Remember that as more babies come along, your big ones will be growing older. They'll help more and make less mess. They'll become more independent with school work.
Hope this helps. Take courage, God will give the grace. Our Blessed Mother will be your constant companion.
__________________
Colleen
dh Greg
mom to Quinn,Gabriel, Brendan,Evan, Kolbe, and sweet St. Bryce
Footprints on the Fridge
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TheresaS
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| Posted: May 08 2008 at 8:55am | IP Logged
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Thank you for your words of advice and understanding they're much appreciated. We don't have a dishwasher and our draining rack is too small to fit much on, so I've fallen into the habit of washing up many, many times a day, and because it's hard to fit much on the drying rack without everything falling off, I don't often ask the boys to do it because they get so upset if anything brakes. This is something that I've not really addressed, when there were just the four of us, it was easier to wash up by hand, but that's not been the case for a long time now, thank you for making me look at this, we can't really afford a new DW right now, but we could look into getting a used one. I'm making a list of things that come up in these posts so that I can think about them over the next few days and discuss them with dh.
I think that a shedule could deal with some of these problems, to know that I'm not MEANT to be tackling the house now, but will in an hour of so I can see would be liberating.
I love the thought of an robotic hoover and floor scrubber, we can't afford them yet - but I can see that they're likely to be on my things to work towards list.
I think part of the problem is my comparing ourselves to friends with small families and having others (family) comparing us to themselves when they have no children. I know that I should be focusing on what God wants me to do (He has afterall given us these little ones to look after and bring to him)and that I shouldn't be comparing myself in this way, but it's difficult to shut that little voice up.
many thanks for the comments so far they're giving me much to think about.
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Stephanie_Q
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| Posted: May 08 2008 at 12:42pm | IP Logged
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I've printed and need to re-read (and do) what Elizabeth posted on her blog last month: Why Bother? and On Being Intentional were at the heart of it, but there were a few more to follow up, especially About Those Lists...
Trying to figure this out, too! What I'm realizing is that housework shouldn't be something to hurry up and get out of the way so that I can get back to my life...and that thinking that way about it is just breeding discontent.
__________________
Stephanie dh 6.01
dd 6.02, dd 8.03, ds 3.05, ds 12.06 at Catholic school.
dd 12.09 at home.
Baby boy due 10.13
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Katie
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| Posted: May 08 2008 at 1:55pm | IP Logged
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Theresa,
I have five kids almost the same ages - 10, 8, 6, almost 4, and almost 1. I feel your pain. My oldest is a boy who is a decent baby watcher but a less than stellar cleaner and tidier. We're working on it, but I foresee years more of training!!
Regarding the dishwashing: I lay out a couple of dish towels on my counter and drain glasses, cups, and other things their, as my drainer will only hold plates and some silverware. Dh hates dishes in the sink, but I can't be doing dishes every five seconds. I would go insane. So I do it two or three times a day, after meals and during dinner prep.
One thing that has helped with the madness here is to have the kids help clean up after dinner. I'll be honest, in that this only happened when dh got on board as they listen so much better to him. We had some tears, but now one of the bigger kids sets the table, one clears, and one does the dishes. The 3yo helps clear or set. One of them ususally does a sweep under the table too, but the baby's been making such a mess lately I usually take pity on the sweeper and do that myself. I amm so much less grumpy in the evenings since we started this.
Regarding laundry. I moved the baby's clothes, and the two younger girls' clothes into my room. Putting away is a million times faster and it stays put away and isn't dumped out a hundred times a day. This summer I'm going to have my oldest ds do his own luandry, I think.
Dinner calls. Much sympathy.
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Mother of 5 in South America. No 6 due in April.
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MichelleW
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| Posted: May 10 2008 at 4:37pm | IP Logged
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I'm not sure where you are, but we have had great luck at finding portable dishwashers or older dishwashers for free. The portable worked great in an older house where we didn't want to cut a space for a modern one. They are around and most people don't want them. They work just fine. Also, lots of people upgrade their kitchens and get rid of perfectly good regular dishwashers that are the wrong color for their new kitchens.
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Michelle
Mom to 3 (dd 14, ds 15, and ds 16)
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TheresaS
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| Posted: May 12 2008 at 4:54am | IP Logged
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Michelle, we're in the UK. They seem to come up fairly cheaply on e-bay as people get intergrated ones with a new kitchen. I think that is the route we will take, we're planning on putting it in the utility room, there's no room for it in our tiny kitchen until we renovate hopefully early next year. I've been ruthlessly emptying out our kitchen cupboards so that it will be easier for the boys to put the crockery away without causing a landslide.
Thank you everyone who has shared their thoughts with me, it has been good to have a different perspective on these things, I'm feeling quite positive that I'll get the balance back soon and that I'm heading in the right dirrection now to do so.
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Lori B
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| Posted: May 19 2008 at 2:56pm | IP Logged
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We have found over the years that the simpler we keep chores, the better.
What's working great now is 15 minutes of chore time a day, plus the dailies of emptying the dishwasher, making beds, folding and putting away laundry and a "whole house" tidy before dinner. Our house is far from perfect (there *are* lots of people here all day long, after all!), but I'm no longer embarrassed if we get an unexpected visitor
The daily chores:
Monday- toilets and bathtubs (I do mine, the kids do theirs and the 1/2 bath)
Tuesday- counters and sinks (see above, plus I do the kitchen counters and sink)
Wednesday- dust, wash glass tables and mirrors
Thursday- vacuum carpets and hardwood
Friday- mop kitchen, bathrooms and front hall (wash mats if needed)
Saturday- any house or yard projects
Sunday- rest (my only day off from laundry  )
The reason this is working so well is that 1) only one set of cleaning supplies/ tools is needed each day and 2) it's a lot easier to train a child to do one chore at a time.
When we were doing a room per day, we needed dust rags, the vacuum, cleaning spray, etc. hauled out every day, and it was hard to organize the troops Now, after breakfast we do 'today's job' in about 15 minutes, and we're DONE! Also, if we miss a day's cleaning, we can double up the next day and still be done in under 1/2 hour.
2-3 times a year, we "spring clean" to freshen up what isn't easily (and quickly!) cleaned up during our regular cleaning.
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22yod, 16yod (Asperger's), 14yos (dyslexia, APD, ADHD), and 11yod (JXG, glaucoma, legally blind)
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4Real Forums : Our Lady's Loom, Larder, and Laundry
Topic: Cutting house work down to size?
