Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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Nurturing the Years of Wonder
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Subject Topic: Toddler Damage Control Post ReplyPost New Topic
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Jordan
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Posted: June 28 2007 at 7:35am | IP Logged Quote Jordan

If anything is going to drive me nuts with implementing Montessori in my home, I think it's going to be that I can't manage to keep those under three from doing what they do so well.

Has there been a topic just for minimizing and dealing with toddler chaos in the learning areas?

I am planning to use my bottom shelves for things my 2yo has access to so he feels he's included. I'll keep my 4 yo's materials on shelves above but he'll still be able to reach those things. Should I teach him not to touch them? Should I allow him to take them down and play/work/whatever with them so long as he doesn't throw or abuse them? Would this mess up how he views the materials in the future? It seems to me that it would make for a challenging transition later.   Even if I do provide him with his own things, his curiosity will lead him to want everything he sees and especially with whatever his sister is doing. Do you think at that toddler age, really, it's just too hard to work and concentrate with a toddler on the loose? Do I need to limit my 4 year-old's time with the materials to times when the toddler is not around? It seems like others have been able to manage with toddlers but I can't imagine my dd 4 being able to concentrate when ds 2 is wanting complete involvement. Distracting him is only temporary. When he's being left out of something, he reacts by misbehaving (throwing, tromping across, etc.). I can spend some time with dd alone while ds is napping but that wouldn't be very long since dd naps too and I'd need to wake her up early. I'm reading David Gettman's book Basic Montessori and it says that we should try to allow anytime access to the materials. If my daughter is in there, her brother will follow her.

One idea I have for minimizing it is that, since I'll be presenting and bringing materials out slowly, ds won't have much to get used to at one time. I remember reading something I think Dr. Sears wrote, and that is to allow a toddler to hold and gently inspect breakable things while you're right there with them. Then, the special breakable thing is not a mystery to them anymore and they'll be less curious about it in the future. Do you think this could apply to the Montessori materials as well? Maybe I could save our presentations for the afternoons while ds in napping. Then, the first time he notices something new, I can sit with him and let him inspect it and show him how to handle it very gently.

What limits do you guys set for how your toddlers behave and handle materials in your learning areas? How have you minimized the distractions they cause to older siblings? Do you limit your older child's access to the materials because of the toddlers or do you just deal with them as best you can and allow unrestricted access?    

Well, that ended up being long-winded. I hope we can share some ideas.

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AndreaG
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Posted: June 28 2007 at 8:09am | IP Logged Quote AndreaG

You know I have found that to be true- if I let the toddler inspect (work with?) the item under supervision they seems less inclined to misuse it. Things I really really really don't want them to get (and dump!) I keep high up - but with most materials I have found that I can show a toddler a simplified version of how they can be used and model the care that should be taken with them, it seems to work out. Usually they lose interest and move on to something more age appropriate from their own shelf. I also have a rule that if you are using the materials inapropriately or not respecting someone who is working you are out of the school room. (I have been known to turn a blind eye to the dumping out the bin of math bears when I am in the throes of a math lesson.)
Of course my toddler is now 3 and a girl so I'm sure I will be able to offer more practical advice after the upcoming school year when I will have a 1-year-old boy toddling about. I am eager to hear what others say on this topic!

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Posted: June 28 2007 at 8:17am | IP Logged Quote CatholicMommy

I too put younger child things on the bottom, older work further up. Not fool-proof of course!

My son was ready for some of the Montessori work when he was 2, and while I worked with other children, he would have his own presentations (a LOT of practical life, sandpaper shapes and some letters, number cards (index cards with a number written on each one in thick lines and the proper number of circles on which to place plastic counting bears), etc. Basically, I would try to give him a presentation first, to get him busy, and usually something 'similar' to the older child work.

He then had to learn to sit on my lap, quietly, while I presented, or right next to me if I had to hold a baby at the time.

2 year olds definitely like and want to do what the older kids are doing, but I was able to adjust the other activities so that he had some aspect of it himself that he was still gaining from (ie not just busy work).

You may want to do the first few presentations with the older one while your younger one naps, just to get into the swing of things. Your older one might be less distracted by the toddler, if she already knows the material, and could be working while you present a more basic similar presentation to the younger one later. Just an idea. I have tried things many ways, based on the mix of children I have at different times (I have a family daycare in my home, with part and full time, as well as several tutoring students).

HTH.... God Bless!
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Posted: June 28 2007 at 8:24am | IP Logged Quote Mackfam

Jordan,
I'm no expert on this!!! But, I'll let you know what we did last year that seemed to really work surprisingly with the 2yo.

First, items were accessible at all times, but I encouragesd choice time at certain times of the day. I made a conscious effort to lower and soften my voice with everyone. I focused on forming the habit of taking a softer voice anytime I presented the CGS materials, or anytime I even looked in the direction of the Montessori shelves. Something just above a whisper, and I spoke very slowly as well. I prayed for the grace to be a gentle guide. I think it really helped me to stay calm, and allowed for a more peaceful environment for them to work in. You will have to discipline, and somehow using that soft slow voice prevented me from the knee-jerk yell reaction with the *sigh* of "good grief - what next?"

There are some materials that are best kept up on the top shelf, because it would be too much to expect a little guy to respect it, but I found that only a few things last year fit this category. I even keep my Mini Mass Kit down at his reach (but behind a curtain.)

I do show him how I expect him to use the material, and generally he is really good at respecting that. Now, he's your average fist using, lego dumping, counter scaling little guy so don't think that he's just placid by nature - he's not. I do have to really work on my own consistency. My rules are the same as Andrea's - if you misuse something, it gets put away. If you are done working with something, you must put it away.

With my 2yo I do have to frequently take him by hand and physically direct his putting away. But he is getting it because I asked him to do something the other day, and he said "wait Mommy - AWAY!" He wanted to put his toy away first. Ah...the bliss! Would that it would last...

I think you're going to be fine. Include him in presentations, although you may have to present again to him in simpler terms. Allow him access. Stay consistent on putting the material away. Gentle, soft discipline.   

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Posted: June 28 2007 at 9:29am | IP Logged Quote Meredith

Aagh, this is right up my alley as I have the ultimate 2 yo who-likes-to-get-into-everything! I'm on my way out of town for the 4th though,so I'll be watching and responding later... Take care, and GREAT thread Jordan!!

Blessings!

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Angel
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Posted: July 04 2007 at 6:30am | IP Logged Quote Angel

Jordan,

Dealing with the "toddler problem" is definitely my biggest challenge, since I have 2 of them. I haven't actually solved the problem yet -- actually, I don't think it is really solvable, you just do what you can and it takes a lot of hard work -- but I can tell you a few things I have learned in the past year.

First, every toddler is different. They may all present the dumping challenge , but some toddlers are more easily trained than others. For example, when she was a toddler, my dd hated to disappoint (plus she was a girl), so she stayed out of a lot of stuff after I'd told her no a few times. But my twins... oy vey. They have started climbing up on the *oven* -- onto the stovetop, I mean! Then they laugh when I say no, or yell... restraining them in their highchairs only works for a little while after several attempts... it's enough to make you want to tear out your hair.

Anyway, when you set up your environment, I think you first have to gauge how extreme your toddler is. If your toddler can be trusted not to push the Lego bins over to the shelves to use as a stool and climb up to get the stuff you put up there to have out of the way... then I think the best bet is what everyone has described. The problem, of course, is that 4 yos and 2 yos are not much different in height. So if you want something accessible to your 4 yo, it's probably going to be accessible in some fashion to your 2 yo if your 2 yo figures out how to stretch and/or boost his height just a little.

The toddlers need materials of their own to work with, but I think it's safe to assume that these are going to get dumped and used inappropriately, and that what you are probably going to have to focus on with a toddler is simply using materials appropriately (i.e., not throwing them) and putting them away. (Actually, if you could accomplish this... what a huge accomplishment!!!!) I find if I work with the toddlers first, then they're much calmer and will generally allow me to spend a little time with everybody else without destroying the place. (Also, now that it's summer, we take work outside. I provide a toddler activity, like pouring water in a dishpan, that they enjoy and I don't have to worry about messes, etc.    They generally keep *much* busier when we're outside.)

I wouldn't wake anybody up from a nap if I had a choice.      I need the downtime!!!

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Jordan
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Posted: July 04 2007 at 7:19am | IP Logged Quote Jordan

Angela, I had to laugh a little as I read your post--well, as much as I can laugh while putting my toddler to sleep. You're right though, even when I putting things on higher shelves, the toddlers still find a way to reach them. I know it is going to take time, consistency, and patience. A little wisdom would be nice too to help me figure out when to freak and when not to freak out.

I will have to revisit these ideas as we go along.

Thank you all for sharing.

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happymama
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Posted: July 04 2007 at 10:35pm | IP Logged Quote happymama

i'll respond more later, but i am a big believer in not "tempting" toddlers by putting interesting things in their view and then saying, "dont touch it!" repeatedly! [Lead us not into temptation...] I have friends who disagree, but for me it's just too much trouble.

I have the huge blessing of an entire room dedicated to materials for my 4 1/2 year old. We used to keep a baby gate up at the doorway to keep out #2, until he was old enough to climb over the gate. Now he's 2 1/2, and does okay for short periods in the classroom when i'm available to check on him frequently. Still a big challenge, though. Mostly i try to keep him out unless i can directly supervise him. I have a lot of materials for him in his own bedroom.

Now that we have a crawling 9-month-old, safety is a huge issue because there are so many things (beads, etc.) that pose choking hazards. We have a rule - materials stay in the classroom. But we also do a lot of two-year-old activities in the kitchen.
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Posted: July 05 2007 at 9:59pm | IP Logged Quote Hallie

Thank you for starting this topic! With three little ones under the age of four this is a daily challenge. My boys, ages 2 and 3, do pretty well as long as I stay close and consistent. If I get lost behind the computer screen or distracted on the phone it's all over! The damage that can be done in 10 minutes boggles the mind! I have found that if I remember to gently and consistently remind them to keep their work on their mat and clean up when they are done they do really well. On occasion when they are having a rough day they may throw a temper tantrum and refuse to clean up but they are learning that if they do that they won't be allowed to play with that toy again until the next day. We have also installed a gate in the doorway of the learning room so that if they boys want to work independently I can stay in the other room with little girl without her constantly crawling to their mats and destroying their work. The boys also know that they will sometimes have to bring their toys to the table so Sophia can't reach them. It's a work in progress. Some days are better than others. I guess I have it kind of easy right now since the boys are only a year apart in age. They pretty much play with the same stuff and Sophia is always right next to me. It sounds like it may get more difficult when they are 4 and 5 and Sophia is 2! Yikes!

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