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10 Bright Stars
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| Posted: May 07 2011 at 7:48pm | IP Logged
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Quick summary of thoughts and question.
1. Have been homeschooling since LONG before I even gave birth to my first son in that I completely fell in love with the whole idea and studied "it" for years even before I had children.
2. Enjoyed more of a CM approach in the early years with the 3 young boys. Nature, good stories, science/astronomy studies and a lot of time to just be.
3. Major house build. (did it all ourselves) Rapid fire girls...then twins...seemed to get old fast! (me!) Lots and lots of morning sickness. Then two more boys! Took away my "joy" for homeschooling in that I never felt as if I could do it the way I thought I should be doing it anymore. Just covering the basics on a wing and a prayer.
4. My homeschooling experience and philosophy mainly matured and grew with the older boys out of neccessity. Enrolled with Seton for them and they seem to do well with it. Use my own curriculum with the younger girls. Now, I don 't feel as if I have the same experience with the girls that I did with the boys. I have lost a bit of my freedom to slow down and experience things with them, and frankly, so much of my day is spent doing domestic chores and caring for little children, that out of necc. my husband has had to start helping out and checks over all the kids school work in the evenings and does their math with them. Sounds great, right? Well, I am sad about it in a way. Is it just inevitable with such a large family that it is never going to be the way it was with the first few? I sort of feel scattered and torn between the seemingly opposing age groups, stages of life, and level of studies.
So, in closing..does anyone else feel this way? If so, how to you find your balance or center? My husband's temporary "vision" for our family is for him to sort of handle all the olders work if I make the lesson plans etc. down to the 4th graders work. Then, he wanted me to be free to raise, train, form, and educate the younger 6! (which includes an extreme nursing 2 month old and a 1 year old) I always felt as if the girls were homeschool orphans and this disturbed us both greatly since they didn't do well with the olders in the classroom and I was always shooing them away due to their hyperness. This is a great and blessed opportunity with the younger set. What should I spend my time on with them? I am so out of touch with homeschooling this age group since I have "moved on" so to speak with the older kids that I somehow need to get back in touch with my former self!
Specific resources for recalibration? Sort of a "shock retreat" of sorts for myself to quickly get on track? Also, I have SOOOOO many different books from over the years. I mean...I have a ton of homeschookling books!!! It is nice, but in a way, I have so many that I have confused myself! I don't have the time to sit down and pour over this or that book like I used to with the boys. I don't have the luxuary to be choosey! I need to just pick something and do it with them and do it well instead of experimenting all the time. How do some of you all deal with this??? (i.e. maybe homeschool info. overload??)
Thanks!
__________________
Kim married to Bob (22y)
Mom of 11 blessings:
Bobby 19, David 17, Noah 14,
Mary 12, Gracie 10,
Isabelle and Sophia 8,
Gabrielle 6,
William Anthony 4, Joseph 3 and Luisa Marie - born in M
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10 Bright Stars
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| Posted: May 07 2011 at 7:55pm | IP Logged
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Also, my "mom" sense tells me to just read books, BE with them, love them, walk with them, sing with them and to just chill out, but the more militant side of me can see or rather be hindered by the mistakes I think I made with a gentle approach in the past and I no longer have a specific vision or strong philosophy from, I think, experimenting with so many!!  How can I filter out the garbage and get back or find my new homeschooling philosophy/method? I hope this makes sense! I am sure older veterans will know what I mean and maybe newbies can help with a vision!
__________________
Kim married to Bob (22y)
Mom of 11 blessings:
Bobby 19, David 17, Noah 14,
Mary 12, Gracie 10,
Isabelle and Sophia 8,
Gabrielle 6,
William Anthony 4, Joseph 3 and Luisa Marie - born in M
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Erin
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| Posted: May 07 2011 at 8:40pm | IP Logged
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Kim
So get you! Lots to say  intending to come back soon and talk 
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Erin
Faith Filled Days
Seven Little Australians
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stellamaris
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| Posted: May 07 2011 at 8:51pm | IP Logged
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Quote:
| Is it just inevitable with such a large family that it is never going to be the way it was with the first few? I sort of feel scattered and torn between the seemingly opposing age groups, stages of life, and level of studies. |
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Longfellow once wrote, "Art is long, and Time is fleeting..." and indeed, this is a sad and true statement. How quickly time flows by! It never stays still, it never can be turned back. Where we are today can never be where we were yesterday. Especially with children always growing and changing, the family dynamic in constant flux, and we ourselves changing physically and spiritually, homeschooling over the long course of years has its own special challenges.
I will share with you the lessons I am learning now, and I hope you find something here to help and encourage you. At least, something that will make you know you are not the only one struggling with these challenges!
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| Took away my "joy" for homeschooling in that I never felt as if I could do it the way I thought I should be doing it anymore. Just covering the basics on a wing and a prayer. |
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As the years went by, some of the newness and excitement of homeschooling wore off for me. It was no longer an exciting "project", it became a duty and a repetitive one at that. There were too many different kids at too many different ages to really keep everyone "together", so I did find that I was covering primarily the basics and with much less planning and forethought than previously. On the one hand, that was possible because I actually KNEW what I was doing, what resources I had available, and I could do it with much less plannning, more "on the fly". On the other hand, I came to recognize that failing to include some subjects that were interesting, fun, and maybe a little new (like unfamiliar poetry, a different language or instrument, or the study of a new artist or art technique) was making the whole homeschooling day very dry, rote, and sort of depressing. So I began to put a little higher priority on a few of these more "fun" subjects--at least to try to cover one or two of them each week as a family group.
2. I also have learned that constantly berating myself for failing to educate my children "the way I thought I should be doing it" is a formula for disaster (or at least depression). It is so easy to think, "I could...should...do xyz!" It has required a lot of self-discipline for me to begin to change that way of thinking to one which is more kind, gentle, and encouraging. Truly, I have been my own worst critic and it has not been helpful at all. I have learned that, in fact, there is always more that we could do, but that when we accept what we actually do, are grateful for that, and move forward by building slowly from that base, we are much less stressed and much less discouraged. I'm not sure that is making sense...the idea is to accept what you are able to do right now, even if it is less than you would like to do in some perfect world, and then, if you can, build up from there and to not be constantly berating yourself for the gap between reality and idealized expectations.
3. I remind myself that the past was very stressful, too. At the time it seemed hard; I often view the past through rose-tinted glasses. So I try to stay in today, and I consciously work on letting go of the past.
4.
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| My husband's temporary "vision" for our family is for him to sort of handle all the olders work if I make the lesson plans etc. down to the 4th graders work. Then, he wanted me to be free to raise, train, form, and educate the younger 6! |
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What a wonderful husband! This idea allows you to focus on a narrower age range of students and hopefully feel less "scattered". Also, having taken four children through high school already, I do think they might benefit with a dad's slightly tougher approach. Boys especially. Can the olders trade off watching the littlest while you work with the school-aged younger set? How about assigning them some of the domestic chores? I am learning that to have time for one activity means I have to eliminate one activity somewhere...I don't have "extra" time. So, if you need to have time to work more with the younger children, that means you need to stop doing something else and either let another family member take over that job or hire it out. I hope this doesn't come as a shock to you as it did to me---YOU CAN'T DO IT ALL! 
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| What should I spend my time on with them? |
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It looks like you have two groups--preschool and regular school-aged. Basic habit training like picking up the bedroom, making the bed, brushing teeth, etc. could be done together. The littler ones might benefit from a very loose schedule of a daily reading time, a daily outside/active play time, and other basic developmental activities like play-doh, coloring, sorting, and so on. The slightly older group can be gradually worked into a regular homeschool routine. It will NOT BE THE SAME as whatever you did with your olders, but it can be WONDERFUL in its own way. Consider doing the basics (reading, writing--copywork or basic handwriting depending on their level, math (they may be close enough in age to play games together that reinforce math skills) and then adding in a fun read-aloud and one or two "fun" subjects--art, poetry, science, or history. You could add these all eventually, but I'd just start small. Easier to start at a level you can sustain for a while than to start with big plans and have to ditch them all.
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| Also, I have SOOOOO many different books from over the years. I mean...I have a ton of homeschookling books!!! It is nice, but in a way, I have so many that I have confused myself! |
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Forget about working from the books to the subject...do it the other way. Choose 3-5 subjects you want to concentrate on, e.g., reading, writing, math, history, science. For math and writing you need ONE concept or text (e.g., for math one curriculum, for writing, copywork OR a handwriting program.) For reading, choose three books you are going to work through and maybe one reading comprehension text if you like that kind of thing. When you have finished two of the books, starting thinking about what you want to add after the third book is completed. For history and science, pick ONE topic every month or two and choose ONE spine and 1-5 supplemental books (depends on length of the book and reading speed of child). If you complete just this much you will be doing fine! Ignore all the other books. Less is definitely more! Oh, and for religion--a Bible and a BC catechism.
You can add bells and whistles at same later date, but for now I am getting the sense that you are very tired and need to conserve your strength and try to recover physically and spiritually from the strain of the last several years. It's OK to take care of yourself--it is important not only to you but to your family--and I can see that your dh really wants to support you and easy your burden. I am learning to take some time for myself..it has not been easy for me to do this at all...but as the years pass, it becomes more and more crucial. I don't have the energy or focus I had when I was younger and I have to be very careful not to overtax myself and thus become useless to everyone!
7.
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| I need to just pick something and do it with them and do it well instead of experimenting all the time. |
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Why do you think you are experimenting all the time? Are you the kind of person who likes variety? Or is it a self-discipline issue? If you can spend a little time and thought on trying to figure out why you have trouble sticking to a routine, you might make some headway. I myself hate being in a rut, so I vary our days some (but I have learned, not too much or the children can't figure out on their own what to do if I am busy and can't direct them), I add in "fun" elements like math game day. Having a strong basic schedule in place with regular daily assignments (like, they know they need to do one chapter or a certain number of pages in a given reading/history/science book or copy one page of letters for handwriting or do one lesson in their language lesson book) will actually free you up to add in more fun elements because they will be able to get the basics done more independently.
I have no idea if I really understood what kind of help/advice you need. But if nothing above is helpful, please know I will be praying for you...and THAT is always helpful! 
__________________
In Christ,
Caroline
Wife to  dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
Flowing Streams
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10 Bright Stars
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| Posted: May 07 2011 at 9:52pm | IP Logged
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Refreshment to my mind, Caroline. Refreshment to my mind. Thank you so much for your sage and wise advice! I am going to take your advice to heart and I truly appreciate your prayers! What a blessing! Can't wait to hear from Erin!
__________________
Kim married to Bob (22y)
Mom of 11 blessings:
Bobby 19, David 17, Noah 14,
Mary 12, Gracie 10,
Isabelle and Sophia 8,
Gabrielle 6,
William Anthony 4, Joseph 3 and Luisa Marie - born in M
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4Real Forums : Philosophy of Education
Topic: stages and ages
