| Author | |
kristacecilia
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 05 2010
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 677
|
| Posted: April 07 2010 at 12:06pm | IP Logged
|
 |
|
Does anyone else have a differing opinion regarding homeschool philosophy than their husband does?
My husband has expressed to me that he is concerned the children are not being adequately challenged and that if we don't consistently school them they will remain stagnant in their learning.
I have recently taken a much more laid back approach to schooling that is really working well for the family. We do a lot of reading, nature study, catechism/bible stories, poetry, music and art nearly everyday, plus whatever else strikes their fancy. I do try to do math and appropriately leveled phonics/language arts with them most days, but if we don't do it or if they express to me that they aren't interested, I don't push.
I think the main problem lies in that DH is not here all day to see how they are progressing. For him, having completely workbook pages and assignments is confirmation that they are moving forward and actually learning.
I don't need that sort of confirmation. I know their little minds are never stagnant because I am here all day watching them and having conversations with them.
Any suggestions on how I can help DH feel more confident about our children learning or figure out how to deal with our differing opinions of homeschooling? He is very concerned they won't be able to get into a university (if they want to) when the time comes.
Just for reference, the two children in question are 6 and 4, and both work about 1-2 'grade levels' ahead of what is typical for their ages (at least, I have to order books 1-2 grade levels ahead for them. The 4 year old is doing kindergarten/first grade work and the 6 year old is doing second grade work)
__________________
God bless,
Krista
Wife to a great guy, mom to two boys ('04, '06) and three girls ('08, '10, '12!)
I blog at http://kristacecilia.wordpress.com/
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
JodieLyn
Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 06 2006
Location: Oregon
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 12234
|
| Posted: April 07 2010 at 12:32pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
It really is a question of communication. And compromise.
And you also need to consider if your dh is having any outside pressure put on him about this. What might co-workers be saying.. or his family.
Perhaps you should be keeping a running list of what the kids are doing during the day when it's not formal schooling. It's easy to imagine the kids that sit around doing nothing all day that need school work to keep them occupied when you're not there.
Also, it may well be worth it, to do some things that are important to dad whether or not it's fun at that moment. Knowing for instance that the kids will do math every day, may be all that's needed to relax on other things (compromise and communicate).
Also, you might need to find out if your dh is willing to listen to some educational theories. Something so that you can tell him about how children learn, that formal schooling isn't the only way.
AND you might try and involve dad when he's at home so he gets to see some of this. Go on a nature walk with him so that he can see the kids investigating nature, not just "playing". Things like that.
__________________
Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
mom2mpr
Forum All-Star
Joined: May 16 2006
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1550
|
| Posted: April 07 2010 at 12:36pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I have the same issue.
Could you:
Show him the projects and things you work on during the day?
Pray? I find it neat how God works with you. I see God putting signs in front of me and dh that say, "hey, look what they know!!"
Testing? I have found giving ds the Iowa, especially now that he is older, gives me a sense of accomplishment and let's me know he isn't doing so bad compared to his peers. I plan on doing it every other year.
Hang with other homeschoolers--a lot--with your dh. Especially older ones. I have found dh to warm up a lot now that we know some successful homeschool kids. One was our babysitter who was unschooled. She is at community college and doing exceptionally well. I think dh is starting, only starting mind you, to see how we are developing the whole child. These are some of the most responsible, selfless, nice teen's and pre-teens I think he has ever met.
I am struggling with high school questions with a ds in the 6th, going on 7th grade. Enjoy these early, fun years and also realize, someday dh might not give his blessing anymore but you got a lot more time with your kids than most people.
That's how I have been looking at it for years and each year I thank God I get another one. And, it has been getting easier. I hope it does for you, too.
__________________
Anne, married to dh 16 years!, ds,(97), Little One (02), and dd (02).
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Bridget
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Michigan
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2198
|
| Posted: April 07 2010 at 12:39pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
How wonderful that your husband is interested in their schooling! Women who school in a relaxed style can intuit the children's progress, but men usually need concrete results that are measurable. That is what happens here.
There is no reason you can't do some workbook pages or chapter review type tests occasionally out of respect for his comfort level. If you are upbeat and positive about it, the kids won't mind and it won't hurt your overall vision of schooling. And he may feel more confident about what you are doing with them.
__________________
God Bless,
Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
Our Magnum Opus
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
kristacecilia
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 05 2010
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 677
|
| Posted: April 07 2010 at 1:18pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Thanks, ladies.
So far I have been making a point of having the boys play show and tell with Daddy when he gets home from work, that way they can show workbook pages, or tell him about a story we read or a walk we took, or read him a book to show they are learning to read. DH seems to like that and if the kids get so excited about showing him what they learned that it moves into impromtu after dinner schooling, he will happily sit at the table with them while they do another page of math, or an extra page of tracing letters, or whatever. I think that is helping him.
I think you are right- it's a matter of communication. I know I used to hold an opinion more like his- and I have explained it to him this way- that homeschooling should be more like schooling at home. I have explained to him that as we have worked through years of trying to figure out what works, I am realizing more and more that schooling at home is a recipe for disaster and not really how I want to raise the children, but that I want to encourage a whole lifestyle of learning for our family.
I know he worries, too, because we have no friends who homeschool. We know a couple families far away, but no one around here and no one who has homeschooled their children through high school and gotten into a Canadian university. He wants to make sure they aren't going to be penalized or 'punished' for having been homeschooled. I mostly think in terms of this year and next year, so I haven't worried too much about that yet.
Thanks again, ladies... any more suggestions would be greatly appreciated!
__________________
God bless,
Krista
Wife to a great guy, mom to two boys ('04, '06) and three girls ('08, '10, '12!)
I blog at http://kristacecilia.wordpress.com/
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
JennGM
Forum Moderator
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 17702
|
| Posted: April 07 2010 at 1:20pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Bridget wrote:
How wonderful that your husband is interested in their schooling! Women who school in a relaxed style can intuit the children's progress, but men usually need concrete results that are measurable. That is what happens here.
There is no reason you can't do some workbook pages or chapter review type tests occasionally out of respect for his comfort level. If you are upbeat and positive about it, the kids won't mind and it won't hurt your overall vision of schooling. And he may feel more confident about what you are doing with them. |
|
|
Bridget, so nice to "see" you here again!
This is what happens here, too. Dh wants to see tangible and measurable ways of progress. So like Jodie says, it's about compromise. It takes some extra work to show plans, to have written things (and narration and copywork are good signs), but also a few workbooks. A friend of mine keeps a folder on the counter for Daddy that has the day's work -- art, writing, anything that is "tangible" so he can see the progress. We also discuss what we learned at dinner.
And we also do the standardized tests at the end of the year, so he can see how we "measure" against the standard.
It's helpful to have my husband give the input. He's my barometer for fitting in the world (but not being "of" the world.) We are on the same page about everything, including the philosophy, it's just he wants more accountability, especially as my son gets older.
So, really, the extra work is for me. I like the freedom and flexibility, but he's seeing a bigger picture, and so I am going to try to go that way. At first I balked, but now I can see that it isn't that hard and it's not compromising the "vision" if I take those extra steps.
__________________
Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to  & ds1  '03 & ds2  '07
Family in Feast and Feria
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
guitarnan
Forum Moderator
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Maryland
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 10883
|
| Posted: April 07 2010 at 1:21pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
It also helps to get in the habit of good recordkeeping early - because later on, you'll need to do that (plans, book lists, time spent on lessons/projects) depending on your province's or state's requirements.
__________________
Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
JennGM
Forum Moderator
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 17702
|
| Posted: April 07 2010 at 1:24pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
guitarnan wrote:
| It also helps to get in the habit of good recordkeeping early - because later on, you'll need to do that (plans, book lists, time spent on lessons/projects) depending on your province's or state's requirements. |
|
|
Yes, that's just it. I think I was dragging my feet doing that record keeping, and I need to make it a habit.
__________________
Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to & ds1 '03 & ds2 '07
Family in Feast and Feria
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
kristacecilia
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 05 2010
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 677
|
| Posted: April 07 2010 at 1:27pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
guitarnan wrote:
| It also helps to get in the habit of good recordkeeping early - because later on, you'll need to do that (plans, book lists, time spent on lessons/projects) depending on your province's or state's requirements. |
|
|
Very true... I am trying to work on this one right now. Although our province has very lax laws on homeschooling, you never know when that could change or if I will need to 'prove' what they know for some other reason.
I am sure DH would appreciate being able to look back and see how far they have come, too. It might make him less anxious about the present and future.
__________________
God bless,
Krista
Wife to a great guy, mom to two boys ('04, '06) and three girls ('08, '10, '12!)
I blog at http://kristacecilia.wordpress.com/
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Erin
Forum Moderator
Joined: Feb 23 2005
Location: Australia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5814
|
| Posted: April 07 2010 at 3:21pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Krista
Another suggestion for record keeping is taking photos. This year dd8 has been keen on experiments, I have been taking photos and printing out (just using normal ink on paper) and she has been writing little captions. A great way to note progress when it is not as tangible as copywork.
__________________
Erin
Faith Filled Days
Seven Little Australians
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Shell
Forum Newbie
Joined: Sept 26 2009
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 12
|
| Posted: April 10 2010 at 11:18am | IP Logged
|
|
|
I was going to say take photos too. I also film some activities.
The other thing is just be patient. It's taken a loooong time for my dh to come around to the fact that home education is a good idea at all. He is somewhat more settled to it now - after nearly 5 years!
Just keep up the communication and encourage him to take part with whatever he can. Mine does "shed time" with the children at weekends sometimes.
God bless
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
hylabrook1
Forum Moderator
Joined: July 09 2006
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5980
|
| Posted: April 10 2010 at 12:23pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Record keeping also helps me remember what we did and how we did it. Very helpful with a bunch of children. I'm prone to forget that a particular resource which I continue to find appealing didn't work so well when I used it 5 years ago. Also, when your children are a bit older it will help you in college applications, developing a transcript. If you've developed the habit of record keeping, you'll have a re-cap of what they did in high school without needing to wrack your brain - a stress reducer for sure! I'm always impressed when I see from a list of work we did that we did so much more than I seem to have noticed when we were doing it.
Peace,
Nancy
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
|
|
4Real Forums : Philosophy of Education
Topic: Husbands and Wives with differing opinion
