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Stephanie_Q
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| Posted: Jan 12 2009 at 11:44am | IP Logged
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My 6yo has been going to Kindergarten at our nearby "affordable" and "good" Catholic school. The background to this problem is that her attitude has gotten bossier, louder, and more disrespectful since she started Kindergarten. During Christmas break we noticed that she was much more respectful to us, and kind to her siblings, but after her first day back at school she came home acting obnoxious again. I know - because I see her imitating certain poorly behaved kids in our parish - that negative peer influence in playing a big role, but I am wondering also how much the curriculum may be influencing her behavior.
On Friday my daughter came home and narrated a story about a boy whose mother told him to put on his snowsuit and he said "NO!" and she had a BIG FIGHT with him and got his snowsuit on and he went to school. Then at recess he told his teacher "NO!" and she had a big fight with him and they both ended up in their underwear. Then the principal came in and they all had a big fight and the principal was wearing pink underwear with purple polka dots and we all thought it would be really funny to see [our principal] in his underwear...
Before writing this, I read the article in Mary G's "Catholic Education at it's Best" (The Holy See's Teaching on Catholic Education) and I'm thinking that this is not the kinds of stuff that should be in a Catholic school. I see disobedience, disrespect, the undermining the adult's authority...but am I missing the "kid's" perspective of it being just a "funny" story? Is it just my own pride, thinking that at home we're reading great books like "The Snowy Day" by Ezra Jack Keats and "Katy and the Big Snow" by Virginia Lee Burton and that I NEVER would have picked out "Thomas' Snowsuit" by Robert Munsch?
In light of the quote "In a real sense schools are extensions of the home." I am really bothered. I would not read that book to my kids. But, am I over-reacting to the book - is it something that I shouldn't worry about being in my home (i.e. books are entertaining so it doesn't really matter what we read as long as the stories are encouraging children to read)? Or, is my horrified response to this "funny children story" legitimate and is the teacher in the wrong by poorly choosing to send this story home in my child's head (i.e. the books we read form us and so every book we read should be chosen carefully to "ensure the integral formation of children")?
Thank your for your thoughtful responses...
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Stephanie dh 6.01
dd 6.02, dd 8.03, ds 3.05, ds 12.06 at Catholic school.
dd 12.09 at home.
Baby boy due 10.13
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cvbmom
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Personally, that is one of the reasons we do not send our children to school. There are many other reasons, of course, but things like that re-enforce our decision. I don't care for stories like that, and have been told by my sisters to lighten up. But, really, do we need those attitudes in our children? Disrespect for authority, why plant the seeds and make it funny? And talking about others' underwear really isn't necessary or modest, is it? Can't we have some actually funny humor that isn't crude or at someone else's expense?
OK, off my soapbox. Sorry. Just felt the need to vent on this one. Anyway, just so you know, you aren't alone.
God bless,
Christine
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Lara Sauer
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My very first reaction ("unthoughtful" though it may would) is that I would be very upset if my kindergartener came home and told me that she had had that story read to her as a read aloud in her class, for a whole host of reasons, the first two of which are the blatant disobediance shown by the boy to those who should have authority over him, as well as the overwhelming inappropriateness of talking about what the teachers and principal look like in their underwear.
I probably wouldn't make a big deal out of it with your child, but I would definitely make a "deal" out of it with the teacher...in a kind manner, of course...along with some great book recommendations, perhaps even going so far as to buy some for their class room.
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Lori
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I'm with Christine and Lara...and I especially understand Sephanie's fear of "missing the kid's humor in things." So often I think I'm being the grumpy old mommy, but in fact, I'm just trying to keep away from immodest or crude humor.
When my kids were still in school, one of my ds won some kind of drawing and received a book as the prize. This book was about these animals who robbed a bank or a house or something, and then how the person who caught them then kept the stuff...or something, I don't know, couldn't even follow the story line, honestly.
My husband took it to a friend of his who is a school psychologist, and she was SHOCKED that a school would give this book out.
I definitely would talk with the teacher or principal.
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happymama
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dear Stephanie, I know sending her to school was a tough choice to begin with, I will pray for your continued guidance! I like Lara's idea of letting her teacher gently know you didn't approve of the story, and offering to buy a different book for the class instead!!
On the bright side, at least your daughter knows how to do a good narration. :) Hang in there!
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CatholicMommy
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I agree with the negative reactions to the fighting and the underwear - my son has a HUGE laugh when he sees people's underclothing and I know it's just coming from his own odd sort of humor, but that does NOT mean we should be encouraging it by providing such books. What are the children gaining from reading a story like that? Comfort with speaking about private matters in a public place? Comfort with seeing non-family members in less clothing than we would answer the door in???
I would definitely suggest some wonderful book choices, as suggested above, and not only provide a couple, but say, "You can use this book to replace (such and such specific title." At least that's my response!
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Stephanie_Q
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| Posted: Jan 12 2009 at 7:37pm | IP Logged
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I am comforted to know that I am not "over-reacting" and appreciate your ideas on how to handle this situation. My husband feels that this book was selected because it was "funny", as inappropriate as it was.
Can I get some book recommendations from you for funny winter books (even if they are twaddle). I really like Jan Brett's books...but they don't make my kids laugh-out-loud. The only one I can think of is a book we checked out while learning the letter "Z" for zipper: "Mrs Toggle's Zipper" by Robin Pulver
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dd 6.02, dd 8.03, ds 3.05, ds 12.06 at Catholic school.
dd 12.09 at home.
Baby boy due 10.13
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Mary K
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my kids have enjoyed the froggy books by jonathan london.
mary-ny
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LeeAnn
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The Jonathan Allen books are quite funny, if you can find them.
I sympathize with your dilemma. When my kids were in public school I often felt the teachers say my home as an extension of their school rather than the other way around.
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LLR4
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Oh Stephanie...I can tell you that I would really struggle with such a story as well!
There is that line in SO many children's books that I am very finicky about: humor vs appropriateness...humor vs. pure worthless non-sense.....imagination vs. false sense of reality....the list goes on!!
All I need to do is open a book, and see that one kid called another kid 'Stupid'...or some other immature/crude/gross name...and I put it back on the library shelf. Even if the characters decide to be friends in the end.....at this point, my kids would not even KNOW or THINK to call anyone "Stupid". And they are going to get the idea from a story written for a child?? I'm not sure they even know the word right now. (I have many words I dislike, and that's one of them. FAT is another....often in children's books also.)
It's the same issue with many, many 'children's' tv shows...which is why my kids don't watch much at all...and only what I have approved.
Oh.....don't get me started.....I'll go on forever.
I just wanted to say (like others) that I am in complete understanding of your feelings, and feel they completely rational! Some think I need to 'lighten up' too. But I personally think that if more creator's of these children stories 'smartened up', maybe kids would be a little more respectful and appropriate these days.
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Stephanie_Q
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| Posted: Feb 13 2009 at 10:30am | IP Logged
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A month later...thank you all for your support!
We are pleased that the teacher pulled this book from her classroom. She understood our concerns and agreed with us. This book was part of a unit on behavior and was presented as "how not to behave". Although the kids "got" the lesson in the class, it was helpful for her to hear what (at least one of) her students remembered about the story. She didn't realize that the "underwear" issue stuck out so much and she agreed that a story that shows someone misbehaving should also show the negative consequence of their actions.
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dd 6.02, dd 8.03, ds 3.05, ds 12.06 at Catholic school.
dd 12.09 at home.
Baby boy due 10.13
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Booksnbabes
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Glad it was a positive resolution! (Just found this thread and wanted to say, I found the book inappropriate as well.) Good for you for addressing the issue and working with the teacher!
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4Real Forums : Philosophy of Education
Topic: a Catholic school situation...resolution
