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Tina P.
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| Posted: April 03 2008 at 3:00pm | IP Logged
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I hope you can bear with me because I don't know exactly what I want to say here. I have been anti-TV for at least 12 years of our marriage and for various reasons, but mostly because we moved at least everythree years, my husband supported me on this. Now, however, he just bought a 50-inch TV with blu ray DVD player and a sound system with multiple speakers (I can't even TELL you what these electronic gizmos are because I don't know). In my commitment to my husband, I can't fight this. He hasn't been able to watch sports or news for 12 years! And between having babies and moving, I owe this man some down time. He figures it's something for he and his friends (and the kids and their friends) to do when we gather here. As if our kids can't find something more constuctive to do.  But in my commitment to my children, their childhood, their innocence, their love of outdoors and play ... I feel I'm a bit stuck between a rock and a hard place.
My daughter had to laugh when she looked up a word in the dictionary and found this definition for the word television: idiot box.
What kind of message are we sending our kids by buying a huge and expensive idiot box??!? Any thoughts? Or am I completely overreacting?
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Tina, wife to one and mom to 9 + 3 in heaven
Mary's Muse
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Cay Gibson
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| Posted: April 03 2008 at 3:11pm | IP Logged
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All I can say is your children will react towards your husband the way they see you react.
(I plan to practice what I preach.  )
If he's delighted, you act delighted. Then let the children know the TV is not allowed on unless daddy is home.
That's the only compromise I can think of.
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Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
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CAgirl4God
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| Posted: April 03 2008 at 3:48pm | IP Logged
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we have been an on and off again tv/cable family.
right now we are on.
we have a largish flat screen tv with a sound system etc...
but really we don't watch it very much.
we love that it is there for movies and sports etc...
and the kids will watch and occassional show or video/dvd.
it just isn't on that much.. so we don't watch that much.
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LLMom
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| Posted: April 03 2008 at 4:00pm | IP Logged
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I agree with Cay. Maybe ask him if it would be alright to put limits on the childrens time on the TV.
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Lisa
For veteran & former homeschool moms
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Lori B
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| Posted: April 03 2008 at 4:21pm | IP Logged
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We have always had a TV, but limit it's use pretty strictly. No TV is allowed at all until after dinner (unless we are watching a "school" video), and even then it's only put on for a specific show. We don't allow channel surfing, and we're very picky about what we watch (grown ups too, not just the kids). I think with a few house rules, it's easy to keep it from taking over the family's free time.
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Mary G
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| Posted: April 03 2008 at 5:21pm | IP Logged
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Tina -- you can always get AWESOME dvds that will teach your children wonderful things ... TV in and of itself can be used so well ... great videos that cover things that would take weeks to show the kids ...
It's like something that recently came up on the CM Yahoo group ... one of the ladies was saying how she's been trying to drum into her kids the states, capitols, etc since the Fall. Once she stopped and gave them online games to play, they "instantly" remembered them and got 100% on the test given.
All can be used for the good ... and as you said, this is something your husband thinks is good, so go with that and find the good ....
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MaryG
3 boys (22, 12, 8)2 girls (20, 11)
my website that combines my schooling, hand-knits work, writing and everything else in one spot!
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Erin
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| Posted: April 04 2008 at 5:33am | IP Logged
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Tina
For the first nine years of our marriage we had no TV, no videos, no screens Occasionally we hired a screen and video player for a week then the hire company closed and so did that option. One year the Test Cricket was on and dh really wanted to watch, he talked about buying a little screen and set off down town to price, he then came home excited because the bigger ones were half price and the same price as the small screens. What did I think?? and he had to hurry as the shops were about to close. He hardly asks for much and I didn't like to say no but it was happening so fast and it was a lifestyle change and we hadn't talked about it enough. But the shops were closing and the Test match started that night!!! You get the picture 
Do I regret it? Yes and no. It does require more discipline to monitor it and alas I am not always consistent  On the other hand I came to the realisation that my children were getting older and this was a tool that we could use to teach them our world views and discernment. We are very strict about what they watch, for the children mostly DVDs with some Mythbusters.
TinaP wrote:
| I owe this man some down time. |
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At first be prepared for some 'binging' it has been a long time.
My dh does, IMO watch too much. We have talked about this and he has explained his need to vege out after a hard day, for me I vege out with a book but for him that is too stimulating. Some nights he likes to turn on the idiot box (we always called it that growing up) he will often watch a DVD over TV as he finds the ads unsuitable. We live in a very small house and he doesn't watch anything unsuitable for the dc until they have gone to bed and then he watches with headphones. You should see us with our headphones on, on our 'Movie Night' both of us sitting there with our headphones on.
At one stage I had EWTN installed so dh had an alternative to commercial but he found it too much talking and he couldn't vege out on EWTN, I never watched it either as I'm not a TV person really so that plan didn't work.
Tina, we change, our plans can change and that is okay. I look back on our days without TV as idyllic and miss them but I have accepted that, that was a 'Season' and now with my families needs changing, dh's as well as dc's we now have a 'New Season'. It doesn't mean my values have changed, nor my dh (he is very strict about what our dc watch, our dd14.7 has lately been asking if she could watch something a little more mature than little kids movies, so hard to find anything suitable).
I came to accept that dh had needs too, lets face it men like to sit there watching sport and yelling at the screen, at least my man does, it is some strange male bonding thing
BTW Don't think I don't occasionally rant, oops I mean discuss with dh that he may be watching too much TV.
Tina P wrote:
What kind of message are we sending our kids by buying a huge and expensive idiot box??!? |
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The message you send them depends on how you handle the whole situation, what is shown, how much time is spent viewing etc.
 Tina. All the best.
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Erin
Faith Filled Days
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Feeling Guilty
