Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



Active Topics || Favorites || Member List || Search || About Us || Help || Register || Login
Mothering and Family Life (Forum Locked Forum Locked)
 4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Subject Topic: Would my kids be better off in school? Post ReplyPost New Topic
Author
Message << Prev Topic | Next Topic >>
Jenn in WY
Forum Newbie
Forum Newbie
Avatar

Joined: April 02 2005
Location: Wisconsin
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 36
Posted: Nov 29 2007 at 5:30pm | IP Logged Quote Jenn in WY

I was asked this question today by a very well-meaning friend that I respect. She has watched me completely disintegrate this fall into a rather deep depression. It has been completely debilitating. She, of course, listed all of the tempting reasons: it would give me a break from the constant noise and input; I would have partners in my child's education and less responsibility; I could focus on my toddler and my business and build the income that my family really needs; I would have time to take care of myself and exercise; I wouldn't have so much self-sacrifice that I fall apart; my children would have a break from me and my emotions and that is healthy for them (Which may be somewhat true looking at the past two months.).

I think my friend represents what most of my extended family and many of my schooling friends believe. (Not, incidentally, my wonderful Theology of the Body minded counselor nor my husband) It seems that when a homeschooling mom falls apart, the solution must be that her kids need to go to school--that it is too much to expect one person to be both mom and teacher. It doesn't help that my friend comes into contact with many different homeschooling families, and she claims that she doesn't see a whole lot of happiness or joy with those kids--mostly stress and control.

I can't be the first person ever to face this question, so I thought I would post it and draw from the wisdom of this group. Have you ever been so absolutely overwhelmed at times that your kids only received read-aloud? Has it mattered? Did you ever opt for school for awhile? How did that work for you? How do you handle the demands of the rest of the family with lessons? (We were interrupted five times this morning by the toddler while trying to read history.)

Please share your experiences with me! If you do not want to post publicly, PM me.

Thanks.

__________________
Jenn
Wife to Lincoln since 97
Mom to Maria 98, Gerald 01, Benedict 03 and Micah 06
Back to Top View Jenn in WY's Profile Search for other posts by Jenn in WY
 
rivendellmom
Forum Pro
Forum Pro
Avatar

Joined: Feb 15 2005
Location: Illinois
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 171
Posted: Nov 29 2007 at 5:45pm | IP Logged Quote rivendellmom

Jenn,

From one Jen to another I'd have to say-No. But just so you know its my blanket answer whenever this comes up.     
Better off in school-no. Are there circumstances where kids go to school- yes. There are circumstances when I feed my kids mac and cheese and 7up for dinner. Are they better off than if they ate a balanced meal-no. But they'll be OK. Really only you know the answer, and trust me if they were going to be better off in school you'd think so- not your friend/neighbor. You are the Mom, you know whether they should wear a coat outside and whether they need to finish their whole dinner.
   There are seasons to homeschooling and you are in a not very productive season. Thats ok- the older kids are learning. In the classroom history is probably interrupted many times a day (unruly classmates, announcements,bathroom breaks).   
Just my 2 cents...

__________________
Jen in suburban Chicagoland Mom to Connor(91), Garrett(93), Reilly (95), Mary Katherine (98), Declan (05), Ronan in ^i^ 6/28/08
visit our new blog: http://recreationalscholar.blogspot.com/
Back to Top View rivendellmom's Profile Search for other posts by rivendellmom
 
Jenn in WY
Forum Newbie
Forum Newbie
Avatar

Joined: April 02 2005
Location: Wisconsin
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 36
Posted: Nov 29 2007 at 6:49pm | IP Logged Quote Jenn in WY

Jen,

Thanks for your input! I appreciate your mac & cheese analogy. I had another friend ask me if I would put them in the Catholic school. I replied, "If I am going to give my kids a second rate education, I am not going to pay for it!" My heart is really in homeschooling, but right now I wonder what they are learning and my first grader can't read and everybody is watching me!!

Please others, share your experiences with battling the seasons of feeling overwhelmed. We had such a great year last year, and this took me by such surprise.

Thanks!

__________________
Jenn
Wife to Lincoln since 97
Mom to Maria 98, Gerald 01, Benedict 03 and Micah 06
Back to Top View Jenn in WY's Profile Search for other posts by Jenn in WY
 
Cay Gibson
Forum All-Star
Forum All-Star
Avatar

Joined: July 16 2005
Location: Louisiana
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5193
Posted: Nov 29 2007 at 7:17pm | IP Logged Quote Cay Gibson

Jenn,
I've been contemplating a lot about JOY.
I believe you need to do whatever you feel you must do to restore JOY to your life, your children, your husband, your family.

My friend Marybeth Whalensent me her new Christmas ebook a couple weeks ago. In it, she focuses on JOY:

J for Jesus
O for Others
Y for YOU!

Thinking of "Others" as your children, I think this is an excellent guide to focus on this Christmas season as you and your husband discern what needs to be done. That's key. Speak to your husband. Don't go by what anyone else "thinks" you should do.

And that includes any one of us. We, here at 4Real, will support and encourage you no matter which decision you feel is best for your family.

Definitely do not make a final decision like this until after the holidays. An don't let this decision hold you in bondage. Pope JPII told us to "Be Not Afraid". Whatever decision you and your husband make, go forward in faith. If we pray without ceasing for our children, God hears us and will not abandon us. He watches over our children whether they are homeschooled or in school.

Back to my original thought though...as you pray and discern remember to ask yourself where is the J.O.Y. in your family? Are we joyful? Do I have a joyful spirit?

Sally Clarkson's books always lift me up and Teri Maxwell (of M.O.T.H.) has free monthly Mom's Corners (click and scroll down to see them) that I find extremely sensible and helpful. You can subscribe to receive the new one in your email box monthly.

Know that we will all be praying for you.

__________________
Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
Back to Top View Cay Gibson's Profile Search for other posts by Cay Gibson Visit Cay Gibson's Homepage
 
Mackfam
Board Moderator
Board Moderator
Avatar
Non Nobis

Joined: April 24 2006
Location: Alabama
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 14656
Posted: Nov 29 2007 at 7:23pm | IP Logged Quote Mackfam

It's a tri-fecta of Jen's now!

I'm right where you are this year Jenn. To say this year has been a struggle would be an understatement. I'm pregnant, and with that comes extreme nausea - the kind that puts you in the hospital to stay alive. Thanks be to God I am beyond that now, but it put a major dent in the beginning of our year. I have faced the temptation to be disappointed in our school progress, or lack thereof, but God's grace has been sustaining. I have much less energy now (I'm 6 1/2 months along) and what little I do have is used up on the toddler. It goes without saying that we weren't exactly consistent with discipline while I was very sick.

I do not recommend putting your kids in school as a solution to the overwhelming feelings you are now facing. It will likely bring more problems and struggles along with guilt and second-guessing.

Now is the time to simplify right down to the bare minimum in your household, schoolwork, and trips out of the home. Holiness comes through your vocation, first as a wife and then as a mother. I had an "aha" moment a few months ago, and blogged about it. I don't know if it will help at all, but I thought I'd link you to it. It was a turning point for me. Focusing on that one thing needful!

As far as the schoolwork - yep, we scratched days a lot. Sometimes we just read aloud on the couch. Some days are a real stretch for me. There will just be days like this - years like this. You cannot regain your spiritual, mental or physical strength by keeping the same pace you set for yourself last year, you need some time set aside. The Holy Spirit is prompting you. Follow that prompting. Simplify. Do not neglect daily prayer. Read on the couch with your kids. God provides a season for all things - even teaching the 1st grader to read - trust in His timing. Avoid well meaning, but judgemental friends. Now is the time to surround yourself with friends who will help you along the path to holiness. The path isn't always easy. Ours IS a vocation of service, self-sacrifice, interruptions - all those things that your well meaning friend is trying to spare you. There's just no avoiding that - whether the kids are in school or not!

I will be praying for your wisdom and discernment in this situation, because even after all the well meaning 2cents I and others have offered, it is ultimately a prudential decision for you and your husband to make.

from another Jen.

__________________
Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
Back to Top View Mackfam's Profile Search for other posts by Mackfam Visit Mackfam's Homepage
 
CAgirl4God
Forum Pro
Forum Pro
Avatar

Joined: May 04 2007
Location: Puerto Rico
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 419
Posted: Nov 29 2007 at 7:35pm | IP Logged Quote CAgirl4God

BTDT and it didn't work out so well, for lots of different reasons. but esp "needing break and depression" it actually made things worse for me.

I would be happy to share our experience. just pm me

__________________
Home is where the Coast Guard sends us

Jamie, married to John
JC, Nugget, Christina & Judy
Chowder
Back to Top View CAgirl4God's Profile Search for other posts by CAgirl4God
 
folklaur
Forum All-Star
Forum All-Star


Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2816
Posted: Nov 29 2007 at 8:41pm | IP Logged Quote folklaur

Jenn in WY wrote:
Have you ever been so absolutely overwhelmed at times that your kids only received read-aloud? Has it mattered?


I started hs-ing when my olest was half-way thru 3rd. Shortly there after, I got pg with ds. I am sick during pregnancy. Really, really sick. The only time I am not throwing up is basically when I am asleep, and I am asleep because of the medicine so I don't have to go to the hospital. For the whole nine months.

We did not do too much school during that time. Educational videos, and books on tape (get the book and the tape, and they can follow along if they can read a little...) was the basis of school during that time. When talking can make you gag, you can't even read aloud.

I have had another child also, and the same scenario ensued, but now with two school aged children.

I was sure I am was going to ruin them academically.   

I also struggle with some health issues anyway (anxiety and severe IBS.) There are many days when we get not too much done. Other days are better. One day at a time. I think we ended up being unschooly just to survive ( even though I start each school year with lists and lesson plans and curricula.)

But oldest DD just took her ACT (and did well!.) She has taken college level classes at the Community College (and did really well.) I don't stress as much about school now. I think they learn in spite of it all.

And I agree, it seems that whenever a homeschooling Mom has ANY issues at all, the first suggestion from everyone is to put the kids in school. Like that is a stress free solution. It is just different stress (but one most people are "used to", I think...)

I agree, wait until after the Holidays to make any decisions. And, even if you DO put them in school, you can always change your mind .
Back to Top View folklaur's Profile Search for other posts by folklaur
 
Cay Gibson
Forum All-Star
Forum All-Star
Avatar

Joined: July 16 2005
Location: Louisiana
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5193
Posted: Nov 29 2007 at 8:44pm | IP Logged Quote Cay Gibson

cactus mouse wrote:
   And, even if you DO put them in school, you can always change your mind .


I meant to say exactly what Laura said. Remind yourself of this if you feel called to do so. Perhaps it's just for a season. Things could look completely different for you by January 1st.

But keep in mind that putting your children in school doesn't mean you can't take them out if it isn't working. Thank God we have that freedom.

__________________
Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
Back to Top View Cay Gibson's Profile Search for other posts by Cay Gibson Visit Cay Gibson's Homepage
 
Nina Murphy
Forum All-Star
Forum All-Star
Avatar

Joined: May 18 2006
Location: California
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1546
Posted: Nov 29 2007 at 8:58pm | IP Logged Quote Nina Murphy

I think every word Cay has expressed is perfect--it's what I would have said if I were at my best .   I don't have anything to add to the wonderful advice here, but to say: you have my sincere prayers. God is holding you in His hand---don't forget that.

__________________
God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
Back to Top View Nina Murphy's Profile Search for other posts by Nina Murphy
 
Dawnie
Forum All-Star
Forum All-Star
Avatar

Joined: Aug 30 2005
Location: Kansas
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 841
Posted: Nov 29 2007 at 11:45pm | IP Logged Quote Dawnie

Jenn in WY wrote:
Have you ever been so absolutely overwhelmed at times that your kids only received read-aloud? Has it mattered?

Yes. I had postpartum depression after my 3rd child was born. My oldest was in Kindergarten that year. I did ONLY the basics with her--phonics, handwriting, math. We didn't do much hands-on stuff at all. I don't think I even read out loud to her much. But you know what? It was enough. She was ready for 1st grade and was reading by Christmas that year.

Her 1st grade year was the one that was really hard. We started the year on a good foot, then a fantastic deal on a bigger house fell into our laps, so we decided to put our house on the market right away and then moved right after Christmas. In February, I got pregnant.    We didn't get much formal schooling done that year. But, I read to my kids A LOT that year. I think I read 10 chapter books out loud to them. And lots of picture books. And we went on lots of nature walks. But not much else. When I went to order curriculum for 2nd grade, we had only done maybe 1/2 of 1st grade. But MB was reading really well. I saw that most of the material in 2nd grade was review, so I just started her on a 2nd grade curriculum in August. My 4th baby was born in November. All winter and spring, I struggled with major anxiety and a very big family problem that caused me an enormous amount of stress. We got a little more school done that year than the year before. I'd say we covered more than 3/4 of the material. And I read just as many (or more) chapter books and picture books out loud. It was hard to commit to this year (3rd grade for MB, K for Anna). I felt totally spent. After lots of prayer and many, many late-night discussions w/ dh, I decided to give it another year. I also decided that I had to have some help in order to keep going. I signed up w/ St. Thomas Aquinas Academy so that I'd have some help w/ planning and advising. I still have to write lesson plans, but it really helps to have a personal advisor. We didn't start until October, but we're nearing the end of our 1st quarter now and I'm really pleased with our progress. I am still really overwhelmed some days, but I think maybe I need that (being forced to my knees!) in order to become holy.

MB has needed some remedial work in penmanship and math facts this year, but she's still doing really well. She reads well, she loves good literature, and she knows her faith better than most kids her age. I don't think that missing out on 1/2 of the "formal" work of 1st grade has caused irreversible damage. The older the child is, the more easily they can "catch up". MB is learning her math facts a lot faster now than when I first tried to teach them to her--I think her brain is more ready.

I will say that constantly questioning my decision to homeschool was extremely emotionally and spiritually draining for me. Everytime any difficulty came up, I wondered if it was a "sign" that I should stop. This year, I prayed about the decision a lot, before I made it. Also, dh really wanted me to keep homeschooling the kids. I felt that God was making His will known through the authority of my dh. Through a sign and some consolations in prayer, I discerned that God wanted me to keep homeschooling, so I committed to that decision and resolved not to question it this year. That shift in attitude has brought me a lot of peace. Now I know that no matter how hard of a day I have, I took the time to pray and discern God's will and that He wants me here!         

Jenn in WY wrote:
How do you handle the demands of the rest of the family with lessons? (We were interrupted five times this morning by the toddler while trying to read history.)


Still working on this. I'm not the most organized person in the world. Okay, I'm not very organized at all. I teach most of MB's lessons while the littles take a nap. I'm nursing the baby, so she just nurses while I read out loud. My preschooler can be noisy sometimes. When she gets to distracting, I "count" her (that's 1, that's 2). When I get to 3, she has to leave the room. Sometimes I just have to give up on the read-aloud and try again at a better time. It's very frustrating when my preschooler interrupts and distracts, but it's a season and it doesn't happen EVERY time I try to read out loud or teach a lesson. We probably don't move through material as fast as a family w/ no toddlers/preschoolers, but we are moving forward!

Sorry for the long, rambling post. Hope I made sense.

Dawn

__________________
Mom to Mary Beth (99), Anna (02), Lucia (04), Clara (06), and Adelaide Victoria (2/28/09)
Visit my blog!Water Into Wine:Vino Per Tutto!
Back to Top View Dawnie's Profile Search for other posts by Dawnie Visit Dawnie's Homepage
 
Bridget
Forum All-Star
Forum All-Star
Avatar

Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Michigan
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2198
Posted: Nov 30 2007 at 4:55am | IP Logged Quote Bridget

Four years ago, when my husband had a heart attack and I was expecting number 6, I was completely overwhelmed. All the schooling my kids got for 3 months was an occasional read aloud and some workbooks.

We've had other time periods of minimal formal learning over the years. I think it's inevitable. Crisis happens in any family. Coping with it as a Christan family becomes the lesson.

This year my 3 oldest have a rigorous curriculum. They are tackling some really challenging stuff! They are doing so well. I think those lame school times did not hinder them much. Maybe they are what God allowed for good as part of their overall development.

__________________
God Bless,
Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
Our Magnum Opus
Back to Top View Bridget's Profile Search for other posts by Bridget Visit Bridget's Homepage
 
florasita
Forum All-Star
Forum All-Star
Avatar

Joined: April 06 2007
Location: Canada
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 907
Posted: Nov 30 2007 at 9:05am | IP Logged Quote florasita

Hey Jenn ,
    I 've had children in school at all levels and homeschooled . Most of our friends / relatives children best friends are all public schooled .
We've 6 children . We now have 4 adult children only homeschooling 2 now .
We did the complete opposite in fact for a couple of our children . We removed them from school in jr. & sr. high .
I can tell you personally children do well regardless if homeschooled or public schooled . What matters is they know they are loved and have purpose . Weather they feel they are failures or successes comes from thier envirnment and what they come to beleive .
It has absolulty nothing to do with the books they were given or the supposed quality of education . Our children all have worked since age 15 yo so far . Always employed . Is that because of what books they read or how many math problems they could solve . No absolulty not . They see the value of work they see the production etc. of thier mother and father working . They value work . They see it as a posative . College . We've two in college now . One is about to graduate in Feb. tHis is the child we took out in beginning highschool as she was labeled a failure . Is she . Nope .
   First ask yourself what are your own expectations of yoyrself & on your children . Why ? Are you influeneced much by others / world / satan ?
What is your vision, expectations of school ? Are you trying to duplicate what you precieved to be a school / classroom ? Did you choose to homeschool to duplicate that ? Did you choose to homeschool to offer your children a differnt learning envrnment ? Do you truly beleive your children will not learn even if they only have one read aloud a day ?
Jenn your children are learning . Real life is learning . Your children are not going to remain having the mind of a 4 yo at age 18 because they did not attend school or use the right workbook
You are thier first teacher & the best mum for them . No one else .
However don't beat yourself up either if you do send your kids to school . Our kids did fine in school what mattered is they had parents at home to deal with all the stuff they brought home . They had both good/ bad experiences just like at home . It made absolultly no difference weather our kids went to school or not .
We personally know two children selling drugs . One was homeschooled , one is in public school . It is not thier schooling that led them to that path .They were encourgade in thier envirnments that they are failures , not loved , worthless etc.
Our dd26 is the child who went mainly to school / graduated etc. she and her siblings who were homeschooled have all had the same types of employment , attended college , go to the bar , get married etc..
Get this if thier is a skill your child finds they need at age 18 . They will go out and learn it
Our ds is taking massage . He learned beforehand the skills needed to attend the class . So I handed him a biology book , anatomy & physiology books and said here you go . Read Learn & thats it . No big deal .
Yes I have been exactly where you are at Jenn . Yes I let other influence how I felt what I should expect . Yes I even put that on our children . I learned very quickly to stop that kind of thinking .
My goodness my grandfather had gr5 education .Did that make him less then ? Did it keep him from becoming the saintly man he was ? Of course not .
I can say what does help with homeschool life is keep it simple don't add to much to your day . reading one book is far more valuable then 20 .
Stay away from conversations that will promote the feeling less then / your faling type feelings . If people ask me now about homeschooling . I say we love it . couldn't imagine life any other way and tell them to look it up online . Thats it . Jesus tells me personally not to partake in stuff that upsets me so I make the choice to listen to Him or not .
I also stay away from blogs websites etc. that may give me feelings of being inadiquette as a mum /homeschooler . We are who God made us we are not all capable of doing it all .
As an intercessor / prayerful person I am slow . very very slow . At times I came to feel pressure from world / self / satan I am not fast enough . not good enough , not doing it all . Then I see the Truth I'm exactly who I am supposed to be . I am beautiful and being who he created me to be in my slowness .
I love being slow & simple Roxie and get this my kids do too
So just be Jenn the mum , wife , teacher . You are . God does not ask anything more of you . Drop all the expectations you have taken on .
I just told my friend Mary yesterday " while driving to your parents house tell youreslf this . I am Mary , mother of 6 , wife to Marcel and God's child " I then asked her " can you handle that ? " what more does she need be ? not to hard is it
   So Read your one read aloud Jenn , cuddle , let them play , put on a video , make cookies , play dough etc.
It's going to be fine Your going to be fine , your kids are going to be fine .
Much Love to You , Roxie


__________________

May I rise & rest with words of Gratitude on my Breath
May I have the Heart & Mind of a Child in my Depth
May I forever remember to be a Light
May Peace Love & Hope be My Sight
Back to Top View florasita's Profile Search for other posts by florasita Visit florasita's Homepage
 
Jenn in WY
Forum Newbie
Forum Newbie
Avatar

Joined: April 02 2005
Location: Wisconsin
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 36
Posted: Nov 30 2007 at 12:18pm | IP Logged Quote Jenn in WY

Your posts are all so encouraging! Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. I knew you would surround me with positive homeschooling experiences in spite of difficulties.

I have been wondering how much of what I am feeling is related to the negative energy in our home. Leaping upon Cay's suggestion to find joy, we paraded around the house today in honor of St. Andrew with a candle, holy water, and incense. We prayed in every room asking for the Holy Spirit to come in and blow away all of the bad feelings, the nightmares, the whining and the bickering. The kids blessed everything in site and loved it, even the toddler!

I am so glad that posted my concerns.

__________________
Jenn
Wife to Lincoln since 97
Mom to Maria 98, Gerald 01, Benedict 03 and Micah 06
Back to Top View Jenn in WY's Profile Search for other posts by Jenn in WY
 
Tina P.
Forum All-Star
Forum All-Star
Avatar

Joined: June 28 2005
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1638
Posted: Nov 30 2007 at 10:36pm | IP Logged Quote Tina P.

Jenn in WY wrote:
My heart is really in homeschooling, but right now I wonder what they are learning and my first grader can't read and everybody is watching me!!


My now 10 yob didn't read until he was 8. If there is such a thing as forced relaxation, I was the very picture of it. I FORCED myself to be calm when this boy said, "I can't. I don't know how to read." Then a miracle happened. I put a Discovery book in his hand and asked him to read aloud to his dad. He not only sailed through an 80 page book, but this little book kindled a love of history in his heart.

Someone mentioned schooling in seasons. We just finished a more classical season. We didn't like it. I thought I would since I've been fly-by-the-seat-of-my pants (often because I was pregnant or just had a baby) and I thought particularly my oldest needed more structure. Apparently, the concensus is that we like flying. We need more exploratory time. My favorite homeschooling season was when we were in a hotel in Germany and had zero school books. We picked up McGraw Hill spellers and did something-or-other kind of workbook for math. The rest of school was reading living books and spending time outdoors.

Gee ... I ought to listen to myself, huh?

We'll pray for you. I know I fall apart if I don't get outside or exercise enough. If your heart is in it and your husband's heart is in it, then read stories, let the kids color, find some fun math activities (we love TouchMath), and get outside! Know that you have support here.

__________________
Tina, wife to one and mom to 9 + 3 in heaven
Mary's Muse
Back to Top View Tina P.'s Profile Search for other posts by Tina P. Visit Tina P.'s Homepage
 
kris
Forum Newbie
Forum Newbie
Avatar

Joined: March 31 2007
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 36
Posted: Dec 08 2007 at 7:12am | IP Logged Quote kris

I can't be the first person ever to face this question, so I thought I would post it and draw from the wisdom of this group. Have you ever been so absolutely overwhelmed at times that your kids only received read-aloud? Has it mattered? Did you ever opt for school for awhile? How did that work for you? How do you handle the demands of the rest of the family with lessons? (We were interrupted five times this morning by the toddler while trying to read history.)

--Sorry I am chiming in late here. Maybe I have a unique perspective since I have homeschooled some of my children all the way to college and still have some at home, and also three of them are in a charter school.
I understand your concerns about having other people want to make decisions for you regarding your children's education. Sometimes we do need others input, and other times they just add to the confusion. :)
OTOH--I do see a lot of homeschool mothers homeschool out of *fear*, not a healthy fear but an unhealthy one.
Afraid that by sending their child off to school they have failed, or will lose them or turn them into pagans :). Now that I have been in the homeschool scene for awhile ( 15 years) and see what happens once all is said and done, I'd say the success rate is about 50-50. Perhaps that is better than what traditional schools can produce *as a whole* but I wonder what the rate would be for families of faith, with a strong inner core, who send their kids to school.
The truth is, homeschooling can be very difficult under the best of circumstances. Some make it look very easy, but some people make brain surgery look very easy :).
Yes, God sometimes asks us to do difficult things under difficult circumstances, but I don't think we can't always just assume that He believes homeschooling is the only way to insure we have holy, well-educated children.
In the end, you can only really discern by prayer what is right for *your* family and what God's will is for it.
I still think homeschooling is a wonderful, terrific option, but now I also see that *tradtional* education methods can work as well. Sometimes it depends on the child or sometimes it depends on the family situation....it also could depend on what kind of schools you have in your area. Our local highschool is a complete *NO WAY*, but the elementary/middle charter school has been a real blessing.

God bless you as you work through this....and prayers for your emotional healing.

Kris





__________________
Kris
married to Tim 6-83
mom to Al (87) Zak (89) Dylan (91) Noah (92) Naomi (94) Jackson (96) George ( 98) Samuel ^i^ 2000, Jed (03) Manny (05) and Gabriella (06)
http://myspiritrejoices.blogspot.c
Back to Top View kris's Profile Search for other posts by kris
 
kris
Forum Newbie
Forum Newbie
Avatar

Joined: March 31 2007
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 36
Posted: Dec 08 2007 at 7:46am | IP Logged Quote kris

and Jenn-
I thought I'd better add that I hope I didn't come off as lumping you into the *homeschooling with fear* category.
From what I am reading, it sounds like you and your husband would very much like to continue homeschooling but you are a bit rattled by this comment from a friend.
I was homeschooling seven of our kids when we lost our eighth son and I had a very rough time. We looked into putting the kids in school, but I tend to think that decisions like that are best made when you can think with a clear head ( well, as clear as it can be :).
I was in a much better place emotionally when we finally decided to try this charter school. I don't think anyone was all that worse for the wear walking through that time with me at home. I really came to the conclusion that it would have been more difficult for them knowing I was struggling and then being thrust into a new schooling situation at the same time.

God bless you,
Kris

__________________
Kris
married to Tim 6-83
mom to Al (87) Zak (89) Dylan (91) Noah (92) Naomi (94) Jackson (96) George ( 98) Samuel ^i^ 2000, Jed (03) Manny (05) and Gabriella (06)
http://myspiritrejoices.blogspot.c
Back to Top View kris's Profile Search for other posts by kris
 
Jenn in WY
Forum Newbie
Forum Newbie
Avatar

Joined: April 02 2005
Location: Wisconsin
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 36
Posted: Dec 08 2007 at 11:43am | IP Logged Quote Jenn in WY

Thank you all so much for your thoughtful replies. I am pondering them all.

The joy is slowly returning to our home. My medication is really helping, and I only wish that I had begun it two months ago instead of waiting so long. Oh well! Hind sight is 20/20, and it is amazing how clearly I can think with enough seratonin.

In the meantime, we will keep plugging away at our Advent unit with Tomie dePaola and working on enjoying learning together again.

Jenn

__________________
Jenn
Wife to Lincoln since 97
Mom to Maria 98, Gerald 01, Benedict 03 and Micah 06
Back to Top View Jenn in WY's Profile Search for other posts by Jenn in WY
 
Jenn in WY
Forum Newbie
Forum Newbie
Avatar

Joined: April 02 2005
Location: Wisconsin
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 36
Posted: Aug 04 2009 at 12:53pm | IP Logged Quote Jenn in WY

It has been 18 months since I last posted for help. I thank all of you for your prayers and sharing your experiences.

I don't know if anybody will read this, but I wanted to post a follow-up. Sometimes we never hear how our prayers are answered, and I wanted to let you know how much I appreciated your honesty and support during such a difficult time.

We placed our kids into a Charter School in Laramie, WY January of 2008. My parents visited for Christmas, and as they left, I was dreading the thought of picking up homeschooling again. I wanted to be a mom for awhile without the demands of the grind of handwriting and phonics. Maria went in on grade level, but Gerald was one year behind.

The semester went beautifully, and they loved it! Their education was outstanding, and we all thrived with a set routine. As the economy continued to decline in the spring and summer of 2008, I began to search for work. We were horribly in debt due to my giving up on a budget and not paying bills while depressed. Unfortunately, nothing in Laramie paid well enough.

I found a job as Director of Religious Education in Clintonville, WI--near Appleton and Green Bay. We relocated one year ago this month, and I went to work full time for the first time in my life. My hours coincide with the school day, and my kids attend the Catholic school where my office is located. My husband obtained a job as Campus Minister at UWGB.

I am enjoying having enough money to pay the bills including the debt and purchase groceries. I miss the flexibility of homeschooling, but I trained for parish ministry in graduate school, and I love it. The teachers at my school are open to my homeschooling experience and the Charlotte Mason ideas as they apply especially to religion and social studies. They are great people.

My relationship with my toddler actually improved with daycare. The limited time I have with him allows me to enjoy his antics and set reasonable expectations for him and for myself. I miss him, but he sleeps with me a lot to make up the snuggle time.

So that is it summed up. It is not perfect, by any means, but God continues to work his grace where we are. I never thought I would enjoy being a working mom, but here I am so grateful for all of the prayer that helped me come to this place in our lives.

Please pray now for our Church. Our family is now in the true mission field. Many cultural Catholics--very few disciples.

__________________
Jenn
Wife to Lincoln since 97
Mom to Maria 98, Gerald 01, Benedict 03 and Micah 06
Back to Top View Jenn in WY's Profile Search for other posts by Jenn in WY
 
guitarnan
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator
Avatar

Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Maryland
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 10883
Posted: Aug 04 2009 at 1:04pm | IP Logged Quote guitarnan

Jenn,

It's wonderful to read this post and see your joy in your vocations as wife, mother and educator. I'm so happy for you! (I was a DRE, long ago - at its best, it's a very fulfilling job. Plus, you collect lots of good stories and see a miracle or two along the way...)

Thanks for updating!

__________________
Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
Back to Top View guitarnan's Profile Search for other posts by guitarnan Visit guitarnan's Homepage
 
rivendellmom
Forum Pro
Forum Pro
Avatar

Joined: Feb 15 2005
Location: Illinois
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 171
Posted: Aug 04 2009 at 6:47pm | IP Logged Quote rivendellmom

Jenn,

That's great! We'll have to visit you on our next camping trip. We're in Northern IL, but are up camping in WI a few times a year. I'm glad everything worked out for you guys! God always has a plan- and it often takes us places that we would never imagine.

Jen

__________________
Jen in suburban Chicagoland Mom to Connor(91), Garrett(93), Reilly (95), Mary Katherine (98), Declan (05), Ronan in ^i^ 6/28/08
visit our new blog: http://recreationalscholar.blogspot.com/
Back to Top View rivendellmom's Profile Search for other posts by rivendellmom
 

Page of 2 Next >>
  [Add this topic to My Favorites] Post ReplyPost New Topic
Printable version Printable version

Forum Jump
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot create polls in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum

Hosting and Support provided by theNetSmith.com