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Natalia
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| Posted: Sept 19 2009 at 1:30pm | IP Logged
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Could you share your rules? My dd is 16 and would be taking her driving test as soon as we get the insurance thing worked out. I never thought I would say this but I am ready for her to drive herself. Having to take her to her dual enrollment classes and to and from ballet disturbs the homeschool routine with the other dc. But before I hand her the keys, I want to have a set of reasonable rules in place. Could you share yours?
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Natalia
http://pannuestrodecadadia.blogspot.com
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stellamaris
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| Posted: Sept 19 2009 at 1:44pm | IP Logged
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When my children first got their licenses, they could only drive in the day, around town (not Interstate), in decent weather, and they couldn't have any friends in the car with them. After about two months, we added Interstate driving and allowed some bad weather driving, still no night driving. They were driving alone about 4 months before we let them drive at night or take friends with them. Also, in VA, there is a restriction on the number of non-relatives an under-18 driver can have in the car (2). So, if that had not been a law of the state, I would definitely have restricted the number of passengers. HTH!
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Caroline
Wife to  dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
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Tami
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I have my children call when they arrive, and when they are leaving. I also have them call if they change plans  and find themselves somewhere else while enroute home. Teens are such a spontaneous crowd!
I also discourage driving during rush-hour for a while (beltway driving). And night driving doesn't happen for a while, either. Where we live now that's especially true, because of the wildlife and few street lights. 
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Tami
When we are crushed like grapes, we cannot think of the wine we will become. (Nouwen)
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hylabrook1
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The laws in MD are similar to what Caroline posted about the VA laws. We stick by those and other rules similar to what she mentioned as well. A lot of what we allow is decided on a case by case basis, depending on who the other people in the car will be, just where they will be, weather conditions, that sort of thing. This is not an easy stage in our or our children's lives!
Peace,
Nancy
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crusermom
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No cell phone talking (even for a minute!) or eating or drinking! No other passengers w/o permission.
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Mary
Army wife and Crusermom to 8 wonderful children!
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ALmom
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We, first off, do not allow our children to get their license until we think they are ready. One child - that was right at 16. Another child, we're still working on it and she is almost 18. Another child has his permit and may actually get his license sooner than the older child; but he's more interested in flying than driving and just wants his license to get to and from flying lessons when he has the money. We are looking for signs of concentration, skills and responsibility. When my husband sees this, then he gladly has one of us take them to get their license. Until then, he works with training them himself. He continues to do some of this after they get their license - ie using a long trip as an opportunity to get more experience on the highway or over the mountain driving or dark, two lane curvey roads that are almost highways speeds.
We cover insurance (but they would have to cover any additional amounts if their action causes our bill to go up). We paid for gas, but in general they were only going to lessons and such or picking stuff up for me. I did not feel badly at all for asking them to do an errand or two for me and somewhat regularly. Eventually, our dd would take siblings to some of their stuff when it was easier for her to do than for me to do. They paid for the first car they got - and that was not until college. We do not purchase cars for the children.
We intentionally did not get an extra car until they were off in college and it was needed for outside work or for safety reasons. This meant that we had the family car, which kept us all coordinating over schedules and who needed the car when, etc. It kept the children in the habit of informing us where they were going, when they were going, when they would be back, etc. They had to ask for the keys at first. Later we did get an extra set of keys when they were regularly driving to activities.
When our oldest got her license at 16, there weren't any particular restrictions in our state, but we at first only had her drive by herself in the nearby area, during daylight (this did not involve the faster, more highway like roads). When it was a longer drive, I road with her at first - or when it was highway driving. Then we allowed driving to and from music lessons - which involved daytime only but did involve some highway driving. We never had a reason for her to drive at night as I helped out with orchestra. We never had any concerns about her cabability for nighttime driving. She'd demonstated full ability here with one of us in the car. However, it just never seemed prudent to let her drive herself at night to the places she needed to be - (ie downtown areas). I don't go by myself to certain places after dark, our dd surely wasn't. You must also understand this was our first child, too, and first dd. It has not handicapped her at all in terms of driving where she needs to now that she is almost on her own - about to graduate from college. She did not have anyone outside of her own siblings in the car with her. She was extremely responsible, attentive and a much better driver than I. We would have allowed some driving with a friend in the car provided it seemed like a reasonable requst; it was something that just never came up.
She did do some bad weather driving - mostly rain. They also did driving on curvey, mountainous roads with dad. I'm sure my dh will take the first opportunity to teach them driving in the snow. He'll need to teach me as well. We just haven't had the opportunity to learn that, though he has talked about it. Around here, the roads are closed - and you get ticketed and insurance will not cover anything if you do have trouble, if there is snow or ice.
We do what seems most prudent for each child at the time. We didn't have a lot of listed rules, but this is how it comes out in the end. Our children have been quite content with this. I'm not sure how things will change with boys. We still will have the same safety rules. I just may end up getting lots more requests for things than the girls had and we'll have to assess the prudence of yes or no to the request as it comes up. 2nd dd wasn't even anxious to drive until recently. I already sense that things may be different as we start moving through the boys now.
Edited to add : Oh my dh also required that they demonstrate knowledge of basic maintence and care, (check the oil kind of stuff and at least know how to jump start and fill the gas tank). They know things better than I do and have at least seen how to change a tire, though we would all call dad for help if it happened to us. He keeps adding in more and more things to the list of what to do when stranded with an automobile. We do try to have the kids drive the most reliable car we own.
Janet
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stacykay
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Since my dss have gone to private high schools, I was very ready for them to take over the driving when they were licensed. In MI, to get a license, they have to get ?X number of hours day and night driving with parent before they road test. Those hours were mostly built up with them doing the driving to and from their schools (both 1/2 hour away.) It also gave us confidence that they could handle the roads to their schools (which did include expressways.) We also made sure they had winter practice before getting their licenses (ie. ice and snow driving time.)
Once they got them, these were their rules, which are similar to many others:
-No one else in car for a year (friends, that is- us, yes.)
-No cell phone usage during their driving time (an easy way to check this was perusing our cell phone bills for the time of calls.)
-They must call home upon arrival wherever they are going AND when they get ready to drive back home, so we know we should be looking for them by a certain time.
-They must call home if they arrive at X and decide to go to Y.
Since they were often driving home from school after practice, they did a lot of night driving, simply as it gets dark around 5 or 6 in the winter and practices often go much later. Other rules (curfew) come into play with late evening driving, but that is another topic!
We have two drivers and #3 takes driver's training next summer. I haven't found that my anxiety level has lessened at all with each new driver. And with #2 in PA, I am quite nervous that he will be wanting to have a car at school for his sophomore year!  (I sure wish I could ask my parents how they handled me alone in MI, when they retired to FL after my freshman year!)
God Bless,
Stacy in MI (aka Nervous Nellie  )
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Chari
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And, I add to the other rules above: NO MUSIC till they are very familar with the ride......and NEVER, EVER changing music or radio stations while driving......and NEVER too loud to hear sirens 
when I was in college.........a friend got into an accident because she looked down to change the music...even if only for a brief moment.....
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Dh Marty 27yrs...3 lovely maidens: Anne 24, Sarah 20 & Maddelyn 17 and 3 chivalrous sons: Matthew 22, Garrett 16 & Malachy 11
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Natalia
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| Posted: Sept 22 2009 at 6:33am | IP Logged
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Thanks ladies for sharing your rules with me.
I am not very good at thinking things through and even though I had already thought of some of the things you mentioned, there are others that would never have occurred to me. Thanks so much!
I am printing this so I can share with my dh and come up with our own plan.
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Natalia
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Angie Mc
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Natalia wrote:
there are others that would never have occurred to me. Thanks so much!
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Thanks for starting this topic, Natalia. I'm with you...we have one teen driver who by talent and inclination is a good and cautious driver. Our rules were pretty basic with her and all mentioned above. But I have boys coming up who can really benefit from a more detailed approach.
saving this to my Favorites!
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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4Real Forums : High School Years and Beyond
Topic: For those of you with driving teens
