4Real Forums: My 10 yo resists prayer, Church

Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.

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Topic: My 10 yo resists prayer, Church

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Angel
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Joined: April 22 2006
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Posted: Nov 08 2006 at 6:36pm \| IP Logged

I'm unsure whether I should post this question here or in Special Blessings.

As some of you know, my oldest has Tourette Syndrome and ADHD. He has a very low frustration tolerance, and he also has problems with anger and agression.

But one of the things that worries me most is how resistant he is to God. He hates to pray. He hates going to church. He slouches and hides his face and refuses to participate. He sings taunting songs to his sister about how yucky church is. He does not want to listen to me read the Bible.

He believes in God. Sometimes he thinks it's okay to read about the saints. But he is so resistant to everything else!

I am a revert, coming back to the Church in the past few years, and my husband is not Catholic -- started out as an atheist and has made it to believing in God and reading about Catholic theology. If we had laid the religious foundation early I'm sure things would be different, but we didn't.

Anyway, I am at a loss for what to do, besides praying. I often think about St. Monica, but unfortunately I am no saint!

Just a very imperfect mom still learning about her own church.

--Angela
Mom to 3+2

Three Plus Two

kingvozzo
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Joined: March 28 2005
Location: Maine
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Posted: Nov 08 2006 at 6:38pm \| IP Logged

Angela, no great ideas for you, although I'm sure the wise ladies in this group will have some. But, I have prayers coming your way.

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Noreen
Wife to Ed
Mom to 4 great kids and 10 sweet ones in Our Lady's arms

Bridget
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Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Michigan
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Posted: Nov 08 2006 at 9:02pm \| IP Logged

Angel wrote:

Anyway, I am at a loss for what to do, besides praying. I often think about St. Monica, but unfortunately I am no saint!

Just a very imperfect mom still learning about her own church.

--Angela
Mom to 3+2

Three Plus Two

Well, Monica didn't start out as a saint, she grew into being one. Persistence was surely one of the lessons to be learned from her.

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God Bless,
Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
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Cay Gibson
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Joined: July 16 2005
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Posted: Nov 08 2006 at 9:33pm \| IP Logged

Angela,
Find a copy of The Blackbird's Nest: A Tale of St. Kevin of Ireland by Jenny Schroedel.

This is what I wrote about it in Catholic Mosaic:

"While little is known of St. Kevin of Ireland, this little tale shares a legend that has evolved around St. Kevin. I encourage parents who have a child with autism, Asperger Syndrome, or other behavioral labels such as ADD/ADHD to read this book to your child. ...We need to remember the 'special needs' children are blessed by God and have the potential to become great saints."

The pictures are stunning and should keep your son's interest. Even if he does not care to listen, you need to read it. It will give you hope and perserverance.

Your son has a lot of growing yet to do.
And you have a lot of praying to do.

We all do. Pray without ceasing. As parents we can never stop praying for our children. Never.

My prayers go out to you and yours. God Bless!

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Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
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Taffy
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Joined: April 05 2005
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Posted: Nov 08 2006 at 9:43pm \| IP Logged

Praying for you Angela - this sounds very trying!

Bridget makes a good point about the value of persistence.

I just had a thought but dismiss it if it seems irrelevant to your situation. I was thinking that maybe you could ask him how he'd like to explore his faith? Ask him how he'd like to learn about God? Would he prefer to watch educational movies? Read books? Celebrate feasts? Or perhaps he'd like to do something more concrete like finding a way to help someone in your area who may need extra help. I'm thinking of maybe someone elderly who could use assistance in keeping up their home and live on their own. Or maybe he could write a story about who he thinks God is?

I guess my point is to try and find him ways where he can explore his faith on his own terms. And don't ever forget to pray for him and provide your loving example. My father converted to catholicism a week before he died (not sure if he was baptized posthumously or if they managed to get it done before his death). My father was incredibly resistant to all things catholic and I would have called him a fundamentalist christian. What changed his mind? My mom who always loved him and stayed by his side through everything. My father was a very hard man to live with and he became very dependent on my mom in his last years. He saw how her faith carried her through and helped her help him. I will always be convinced that this was instrumental towards his conversion.

My mom is certainly not a model catholic christian. But her faith is strong. Simply love and pray for him, Angela, and I am sure that God will use you to bring your son to Him.

Praying...

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Susan
Mom to 5 on earth and 1 in heaven
Susan's Soliloquy

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