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Trill
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| Posted: Oct 22 2015 at 4:29pm | IP Logged
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My daughter is 7, and she does not yet write independently. She does 4-6 words of copywork every (school) day, copying what I've written out for her. More than that, and she gets sloppy. Any independent writing is very difficult for her. She narrates well enough, and will occasionally dictate a 400-word story to me.
I wouldn't worry, except that the societal expectation for kids her age seems to be that they can write. I shouldn't compare her to the kids in school, but she does end up in situations (girl scout meeting, first reconciliation workshop) where her non-writing is difficult. My takeaway from the last situation is that I should at least have her write her name every day.
I feel like I should just trust the method and keep on with what we're doing. If I push for independent writing, I think it will be a battle. But she is my oldest, so I've not yet gotten a chance to see the method work. Please reassure me that she'll get there eventually.
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Michelle
mother to a 6/08 daughter, a 9/10 son, and twin 8/13 sons
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SallyT
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| Posted: Oct 22 2015 at 5:54pm | IP Logged
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Yes, she will write on her own. Seven is still really young, and in my opinion the standard school "push" to have children writing essays before middle school is entirely age-inappropriate, though of course in the kinds of situations you describe, *you* come away feeling like the one who's doing something wrong.
Let her tell stories. Let her narrate orally. Let her copy, and starting in a couple of years, do dictation. On the side, you can encourage her to write letters -- to grandparents, to friends, to anyone you can think of. Encourage her to help you make shopping lists. Have her write her name on her drawings and coloring. Look for real-life ways to use writing, albeit in very brief ways, and possibly dictating to you first and then copying the words you write out. Let her type on the computer -- for many children, not having to concentrate on the mechanics of handwriting can free up the mind to compose a little independently.
It does work to wait, I can assure you. I have, thus far, a college graduate (English major, now teaches third grade) who did pretty much zero assigned composition before high school, and another college student who did nothing but copywork all through his elementary years, but is a very good writer today. I'm just now ramping things up a bit with my two middle-schoolers still at home, though copywork, dictation, and narration are still the language-arts centerpieces in our day.
She will get there. :)
God bless,
Sally
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3ringcircus
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| Posted: Oct 23 2015 at 11:20am | IP Logged
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I'm definitely in a similar position, but I've appreciated learning from the Brave Writer approach. You may want to look into it a bit. I've made the conscious decision to not push myself to be a big Brave Writer family because we do more Project work (Project Based Learning). However, I like the systematic approach Brave Writer takes to encouraging writers to come into their own naturally. Much of it is as Sally mentioned.
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Christine
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Oct 23 2015 at 11:50am | IP Logged
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Yes, it's hard to let go of the expectation that we should be "keeping up" with the idea of what everyone else is doing. But remember that *play* is the true work of childhood. Do some school by all means but leave time for those other things that are soooo important and which the rush for academics tends to shut out. Here's an article on children's play. http://www.earlychildhoodnews.com/earlychildhood/article_vie w.aspx?ArticleID=240
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Trill
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| Posted: Oct 23 2015 at 5:30pm | IP Logged
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Thank you! Sally, it's especially reassuring to hear about your son who did only copywork through his elementary years. We have lots of elementary years yet. The mechanics are really hard for her yet. An entire letter feels so far away that I can't imagine it, but a birthday card she can do and has done. After writing "happy birthday" she is D-O-N-E done, though!
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Michelle
mother to a 6/08 daughter, a 9/10 son, and twin 8/13 sons
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Pilgrim
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| Posted: Oct 24 2015 at 5:12pm | IP Logged
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Your dd sounds so very much like our oldest. I know exactly the feeling you have when being around others who have had the school pushing and have learned things earlier, and feeling like maybe you are failing to push as one should, yet your mother's heart knows and loves your daughter and says that she will come along in her own timing.
It's truly a "catch 22", you want to be gentle and caring and let them develop at their own pace, yet there's this ingrained notion in our society of what kids should be capable of at certain ages.
Our dd did not read or write until 8 years old, which really isn't that old, but it sure *felt* like it at the time. Everything was a struggle in her early years, but you wouldn't know it so much now. She reads voraciously, to the point of having to be told to stop reading to do her chores, get some sleep, etc. She also writes very long and well written letters to pen pals. Her schooling is not at the same level in some subjects as her peers, she struggles to get very far in the curriculum I've put together for her, and I still at times have that wondering if I should push her more, but my heart and gut say take what she's capable of, be grateful for the positive things and lay the rest down and let it go. We *do* have to have expectations that they give it a good effort and not let them be lazy, but we are also called to try and understand our children, to be their advocate not end up feeling like we are at odds or on opposite sides if we can help it.
When dd was young I made the mistake of letting my worries push me to get too upset with her at times, she learned to hate studies in any form. I didn't understand her as well as I needed to, and I wish I could go back and redo those early days. I myself did pretty well in school, As and Bs mostly all through the years, a C was depressing to me, so I had trouble understanding where she was coming from with more difficulty learning and performing in her studies.
When I finally learned more about her learning style and that she was a right brained learner it really helped me to understand her, and to be at peace, and to just wait for her to learn at her own pace and when she was ready.
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SallyT
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| Posted: Oct 26 2015 at 8:49am | IP Logged
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One thing you might try to encourage her is to use tracing paper -- have her dictate something to you to write out, then instead of having her copy it, let her trace over it with tracing paper. That might be a good, gentle intermediate step in helping her to form her letters and push forward, without feeling quite so pressured to do it on her own.
You might also work with her on her pencil grip, if that seems to be impeding her progress (this is something I do wish I had done a better job of with both my boys, incidentally -- they've both learned coping mechanisms that work okay, but both were impeded for years by their poor pencil grip and letter formation. My 13yo is only now starting to write faster and more fluently by hand, though he can certainly compose on a keyboard). The website that sells the Draw Write Now series is a great resource for pencil grips, special pencils that encourage proper grip, triangular crayons, and other things that help work the fine-motor stuff in good ways. I also really recommend those books, which teach some very nice drawing techniques alongside simple copywork sentences.
I still would not worry and ask for much more, but I think I would look for ways to work on those mechanics, without putting undue pressure on her to produce. You might also let her write at the computer -- composition doesn't have to be held up by slower motor-skill development. Let her type letters and stories . . . I wouldn't assign any formal writing, but maybe encourage her, the next time she wants to dictate a story, to type some of it herself (or you type it and let her watch what you do). Don't worry about spelling, grammar, anything like that -- just let her play on the keyboard, even if all she does is type rows of dingbats characters. That kind of play did help my handwriting-strugglers to develop as *writers,* beyond the mechanical level of handwriting.
Sally
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ekbell
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| Posted: Oct 26 2015 at 11:27am | IP Logged
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My oldest was working on copying one sentence at age seven and now she is receiving compliments on her writing style from her highschool teachers (she's taking online highschool courses so there's lots of writing).
My children have needed focused spelling dictation with instant self-correction as they've mostly not been comfortable with composition until they've been able to spell most of the the words they've needed (only one child will write using his best guess at spelling).
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SallyT
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| Posted: Oct 26 2015 at 12:04pm | IP Logged
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We did the vaunted "how-do-you-spell" compositional method for YEARS! Dictation has helped a lot with persistent spelling difficulties, so that kids who formerly needed me to spell every other word they typed can now write quite fluently on their own (as middle schoolers). But as long as I'd spell things for them, they were pretty willing to plunge in, IF they didn't have to do it by hand.
:)
Sally
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4Real Forums : Language Arts Come Alive
Topic: Will my daughter ever write on her own?
