4Real Forums: Can they be "too smart"?

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Topic: Can they be "too smart"?

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Kristin
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Posted: June 16 2008 at 8:11pm \| IP Logged

I'm beginning to get comments from FIL that our son, who just turned five, is too smart. He worries about what DS will do if/when he goes to "school" (implying that he will be bored) and for this reason thinks it is harmful to our son to let him learn all that he wants to learn.

DS is coming along well with reading, writing and math --- but at a very basic level! Also, he loves to learn about various things, in which case we get a lot of books from the library and do related activities. I do not put pressure on him to learn, although FIL may not have a grasp of this because they live in a different state. DH and I consider him to be right in line with many of his peers and very well-adjusted!

Based on what I have read here lately, I have a hunch that others have heard the same "complaint" ...

Any ideas on how to respond?

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SeaStar
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Posted: June 16 2008 at 8:28pm \| IP Logged

Oh, good grief! Can your FIL appreciate how silly that sounds: don't let him learn because he's too smart! ?

Some replies that come to mind:

We are just thankful that he is a bright boy and enjoys learning.
He must take after his grandfather. We would never dream of holding him back...
At least he is not sitting in front of the TV all day.
We have put a picture of Doogie Houser up in his room...

In-laws sure can be tricky, can't they?

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Taffy
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Posted: June 17 2008 at 9:55am \| IP Logged

I've heard this before and, sadly, there is a grain of truth to this. I'd make a quick one-liner comment to your FIL, like the examples that Melinda gave then quickly change the subject. Or, tell him "That's why we're homeschooling where there is no drawback to being smart!"

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Susan
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happymama
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Posted: June 17 2008 at 10:52am \| IP Logged

everyone who meets my 5yo pulls me aside to say, "he's so smart and polite!" The criticism I get is more along the lines of suggesting that I'm TRYING to push him, for example, by teaching him the names of all the countries in the world with Montessori continent puzzles, and that sort of thing. I posted a bit about it here .

When asked why we are not sending him to kindergarten in the fall, our response is, "we have a dozen reasons, but a main one is that he'd be bored." Reasonable people see the good in this, and respect it. Honestly, I think the main problem people (like your fil?) have is that they don't want us raising "weird geeks" of children - really. They just want all kids to be "normal". As long as your fil can see that your child is happy and social, he'll get over it.

One suggestion: for father's day last week we got dh the "Dangerous Book for Boys". It is such a wonderful, fun book "for boys 8 to 80." You could buy a copy for your fil and encourage him to do those fun types of things with your son!

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