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Tina P.
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| Posted: Aug 23 2005 at 10:57am | IP Logged
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I don't know what went wrong. My kids have never been to school. I started these kids on FIAR, a really (perhaps too?) gentle curriculum. By the time Alex hit Beyond FIAR, I decided that we needed more *meat* in our curriculum. Now he's moving into sixth grade. I have my children working on geography using Map Skills, an easy guide to learning maps. Just read the directions and follow them. They don't seem to get it. In history where during one week they read a chapter and at the end of the week they answer questions, they get at least half of the questions wrong. Why? Don't children at this age have a place to file information in their brains?
I already backed them up 1/2 a year in math because of the same issues as we are having now in history.
They (particularly my 11 yob and my 7 yob) write as little as utterly possible, even skimping on sentences in one-sentence answers.
And my (just this past year) 100%-on-almost-every-test-spelling student is now getting half of her tests wrong.
How do I bring the fun back into learning? The fun was there in FIAR, but there's so much more that needs to be done now. It is sooooooo boring. And sooooooooo disappointing. 
The curriculum I use claims that by this time, kids should be relatively independent learners. It's *not* working. They are depending upon me more and more to read aloud and do projects and experiments with them that I cannot do.
My boy who just last year wanted to go to school tells me he likes to homeschool now.  At least that's a plus. But how do I help these kids to retain information?
I'm a little put off about taking my concerns to my husband because he hasn't been entirely supportive of my choice to homeschool our kids from the beginning. He sees how much stress I put on myself, how little gets done in the house, and how unmotivated the kids are, and bases his level of support on those factors.  Usually, it's contrary to the amount of support I *need* from him.
We are taking a much-needed vacation to a historically rich castle with trebuchets and jousting matches over this weekend. This ought to increase the amount of interest in that area.
I hope to read some inspiring posts (the more, the better  ) before we go so that I can clear my head and start fresh when we get back. In the children's defense, we didn't have a break this summer because of the time off we'll take for the baby and a trip to Germany (another breather  ). Maybe we're just all worn out?
Alex seems to be more of a specialist when he learns something. He gets some niggling interest in his head and isn't satisfied until he has threshed out every resource and, as the saying goes, "beat[en] the dead horse." It was dinosaurs. Lately, it's the middle ages, roller coasters, and reading Beverly Cleary books (over and over again). He doesn't care about spelling. Math is a nuisance to him (not his words, mine). Science is occasionally interesting (but for the next few weeks, even *I'm* yawning, and I normally love science). Everything else just falls under the mundane area (grammar, Latin, reading ...) for him.
Anna is more flexible. But she's also 9 (will be 10 in January) and doing the same work as Alex. Am I expecting too much of her? She's been doing it for years and is only just faltering this year.
The younger ones are tooling along just fine. Well, at least that's a relief!
God bless you all and thank you for whatever input you have,
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Tina, wife to one and mom to 9 + 3 in heaven
Mary's Muse
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tovlo4801
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| Posted: Aug 23 2005 at 11:29am | IP Logged
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Tina,
No expert here, but the first thing that popped into my head was Bravewriter. I don't know if you've read The Writers Jungle, but I highly recommend it. It certainly takes a fresh approach to writing, but I've found my whole perspective about school changed by reading it. I've also found the unschooling conversations very helpful.
One more thing to consider. I've got a 12 yo boy who I really think is quite bright, but just seems monumentally unmotivated! If anything even smells the littlest bit like school he just shuts down. I'm learning that it might be his temperment, but that it's also a bit of being a boy of that age. From what I gather here and from my other friends with boys who've come through this age range it gets better on the other side. I'm sure hoping so.
God Bless you as you find your new path!
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Meredith
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| Posted: Aug 23 2005 at 8:08pm | IP Logged
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Well Tina, big hugs coming your way! I don't want to sound like an advertisement, but have you read Elizabeth's book Real Learning yet?? It might spark a few ideas. What about forgetting the end of the chapter questions and having them narrate instead (if they don't already). There is no one that says you have to do things "by the book" but why not just grab a stack or two of books, picture and chapter and see where they take you.
WE have all been in your shoes at one point or another on our hsing journey and it's so easy to blame ourselves for not doing enough. But remember all the reasons you chose to hs in the first place and maybe make a list of your goals for each child and start to slowly work towards them.
You are the only one who can set a mile marker for each child and only you know each of your children well enough to be their guide. I know it's been said on another thread, but "even the worst day at home schooling is going to be better than the best day at a school away from home." Some days (or weeks) it may not seem that way, but your children will be better off for having stuck it out through the tough times (or boring times) and will truly appreciate the really fun and exciting days.
I hope this helps a little, try to take a step back, a deep breath, pray and pamper yourself with a little *mother culture* and indulge in some great reads just for yourself.
I already mentioned Elizabeth's book, but when I am questioning myself I love to pick up and re-read portions of A Charlotte Mason Companion byKaren Andreola. Also Pocket Full of Pinecones by her as well is a good one.
God Bless and good luck, enjoy your vacation to Germany, it sounds heavenly. 
__________________
Meredith
Mom of 4 Sweeties
Sweetness and Light
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Willa
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| Posted: Aug 24 2005 at 5:58pm | IP Logged
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Tina, if it's any help, the kind of "specialist" learning your son is doing is probably a lot more useful for his future life than being able to fill in little blanks or answer in one sentence. You can learn that "fill in the blanks" stuff in a really short time if you are motivated to.
I know what you mean though because the first few weeks of the year is always a bad time for me too.
I don't know if it helps but one thing that works for me especially when I'm a bit in over my head already is just cutting back to the 3Rs. To me, doing accurate work in math is more important than 100% spelling tests or end of chapter history tests. Lots of times in our homeschool especially when pregnant or with a newborn or illness, I've gone to the Math + Literature formula and it really doesn't seem to hurt much in the long run.
Another related thing I do when I am stressing is to "set the counter to zero" which means that I just make a deal with myself to start from scratch. As if God just gave me myself and my family today and I have to go from there. That way I don't have to deal with the baggage of "oughta-haves" or "shoulds" and can just look at what me and my kids need NOW.
If writing is hard for your boys, as it was for mine, you could try separating the two issues -- writing fluency and writing answers to questions. We worked on building fluency one year by "free writing" time every day. The question-answering we did orally and made it into a game format which those particular children enjoyed.
Oh, one more thing about the fill in the blanks or one-sentence answers -- I tell my kids that I think they need to learn a bit of that stuff just to get used to it, but we keep it as a "seasonal" activity-- ie, concentrate on "learning to use textbooks" for a short part of the year, like during the spring. Perhaps something like that would help your kids master the basic skill without it becoming completely grim.
But I was just reading an article by a teacher saying that the schools are trying to get away from that stuff especially in the younger grades and focus more on "whole reading" and the kind of reading people actually DO when they are adults. So in other words, the schools are trying to become more like US <G>
Reading your post brought back memories of when my oldest was 12 and I was expecting my 6th. My oldest would write skimpy little answers too and would watch lizards out of our window while I was trying to help him through grammar or whatever. So frustrating. Well, he's 19 now and off to college -- a lot of my worries back then are definitely not issues any more.
But I have new worries, so I guess life is like that for a mom! 
My daughter and her 20 months-older brother always did the same work until 6th grade. Then it seemed like the deeper expectations of the intermediate years were a bit too much -- she needed more time to consolidate. I dropped her back a year and it was a good thing for us; helped her older brother as well to have his own niche and not be competing with a younger sister.
The castle sounds so neat! and so do the FIAR years -- I wish I had that ability to do "fun stuff" for school -- with us its usually "hold your nose" through the basic 3Rs, get them over with, and then do the reading and stuff -- the fun part for us. I can never seem to get unit studies and hands-on learning off the ground -- wish I could
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AMDG
Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
Take Up and Read
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juliecinci
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| Posted: Aug 25 2005 at 3:37pm | IP Logged
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Hi Tina.
You already got a lot of good feedback in this thread, but I couldn't help but think of you today when I wrote my blog. Thought it might foster some food for thought:
Brave Writer Blog
Julie
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Julie
Homeschooling five for fourteen years
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Willa
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| Posted: Aug 25 2005 at 4:34pm | IP Logged
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Julie,
I really enjoyed your blog entry. It spoke to several questions I was pondering all morning as I discern where our homeschool is going.
Tina,
In my post above I wrote: "Lots of times in our homeschool especially when pregnant or with a newborn or illness, I've gone to the Math + Literature formula and it really doesn't seem to hurt much in the long run."
I would like to rephrase that a bit. I have a theory that those down times of Math + Literature (sometimes hardly even that, to be honest) actually rather HELPED my homeschool in the long run. At the very least, it allowed me to take a deep breath and really look at my kids. It helped me to see my homeschool in broader terms, and enjoy being with the kids, not just getting them ready to do X or Y.
And I have a hypothesis that the kids consolidated their learning better because they weren't rattling along a track with me as the engine pulling them all the time In other words, the down times generated more real learning than the stressed, pushing times (been there!)
I can't prove that last part and I have another side of me that says, "Yes, your kids are doing all right but there are various gaps and maybe they could have done better if you had been more consistent." That side sometimes gets uppermost and it's usually this time of the year and in February.
But anyway, I wanted to mention it because I think sometimes homeschools can succeed when they "shouldn't" be able to -- I haven't figured it out yet but I've experienced it so many times that I have to acknowledge that it's there.
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AMDG
Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
Take Up and Read
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: What *is* real learning?
