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LML22
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| Posted: March 16 2007 at 7:28am | IP Logged
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Fear is gripping my heart. I cannot make decisions regarding my homeschool. My dh says it doesn't matter to him and says money isn't the issue. So, why can't I decide? I want to do a relaxed CM style but it seems so chaotic and I panic. I want to return to the "safety" of my prepackaged curriculum. At least I know they will be doing stuff with it. I am afraid I won't be able to do enough without the plan (because they will need more mom time and I may be chasing babies/toddlers) With the pre-plan, they can work independently. They don't like school as it is, even stuff like narration/dictation so I wonder does it really matter anyways? Why kill myself trying if they still don't like it? Also, there are so silly if we work together and that gets old. If everyone works alone, they are more quiet, etc. BUT, it doesn't seem as joyful. (the prepackaged stuff) But does everything need to be "fun" for them to learn? Many kids go to PS, are schooled at home (as in a box) and are well-educated.
Can you tell I am confused and why I can't figure it out. I have prayed much.
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Veronica's Veil
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| Posted: March 16 2007 at 10:12am | IP Logged
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With Homeschooling being more of a lifestyle of learning, regardless of what "curricula" or approach one takes, it is still, largely a lifestyle of learning being in that learning takes place all the time (even for ps children) and being in the home always...it is a lifestyle. I think you need to just try to spend some time envisioning what your want your LIFESTYLE to be. I say this from my own experience. We are ingrained to think that we must fill workbooks and read endless chapters of textbooks in order to be accomplishing any real learning, this is colored by own schooling experience.
Whenever I step back and ask myself these two questions it all becomes clear. 1) What is the ULTIMATE goal I have for my children? ~Heaven. and no amount of workbooks will help with that. 2) What do I want our lifestyle to include? ~God, Family, Beauty, Love, Ideas, Joy, etc... Once I have identified those goals, it becomes clear that the real joy in homeschooling lies in the journey. The exploration together of our world. The unity and love of working together. There are many ways, and I could go on forever. But I am sure you are already aware of these.
Education may not always be "fun" but bottom line, in our home, it must be hinged on one of our above mentioned goals or something is wrong and it is time to re-evalutate.
I know you have babies/toddlers something I don't have right now, so that must be very difficult. However you mentioned your olders could work independantly if they had the packaged curriculum. If they are old enough to do that, are they old enough to read some of the living books aloud while you hold and entertain the youngers? just asking, I have no experience with this, mine are only 3yrs apart and no babies again yet...
I will pray for discernment for you and I am sorry that you are struggling. God Bless 
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chicken lady
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| Posted: March 16 2007 at 10:13am | IP Logged
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I would like to just encourage you! I understand fear, not this fear, I have other fears. Try to keep reading different approaches to HS! Plead with Our Lady for guidance, and be assured of my prayers going out for you.
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Willa
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| Posted: March 16 2007 at 10:21am | IP Logged
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LML22 wrote:
| They don't like school as it is, even stuff like narration/dictation so I wonder does it really matter anyways? Why kill myself trying if they still don't like it? Also, there are so silly if we work together and that gets old. If everyone works alone, they are more quiet, etc. BUT, it doesn't seem as joyful. (the prepackaged stuff) But does everything need to be "fun" for them to learn? Many kids go to PS, are schooled at home (as in a box) and are well-educated. |
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Maybe you could try a mixture -- some pre-planned and some more "real learning"? You could decide what you REALLY want to see in a day as far as basic academics -- for me it was Math and Latin and of course, reading.
Then you could spend the rest of the time trying out new things, like books and projects, even if they don't seem to be learning much at first. That will give you a chance to experiment with what works for your family and what doesn't.
My kids don't like narration or dictation, either. This is because those things are more difficult than pre-packaged work. Because they are more difficult, they are often more effective, so that's why I persist : ). I know kids are different and some thrive on a more worktext type curriculum. I have a son who rather likes workbooks because they are so concrete and easy for him to get through. So I give him workbooks for some subjects but try to keep up with the literature and narration, too.
If I were just starting a more REal Learning type approach, especially with young kids, I would spend a few months or even a year just reading aloud and doing more informal projects without expecting narration and that kind of thing just at first.
Even though most of our homeschool is literature based, I have different books for the different kids. I don't do much group learning with my kids. This is because most of the kids are on such different levels that there is little overlap between them. I don't think you HAVE to do group teaching to do real learning.
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AMDG
Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
Take Up and Read
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teachingmyown
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| Posted: March 16 2007 at 7:50pm | IP Logged
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I just want to add that YOUR "style" is really important. Especially if the kids aren't overly enthusiastic about any approach, how you feel about what you are teaching is important. Even if my kids LOVED Seton, I can't teach it. I am honestly bored to tears reading a science text, besides Apologia, so I can't teach my kids science using a standard text. It is the same with history.
We use CHC workbooks as a backbone. I know that they are getting some basic stuff covered daily. Other than that, we read. Oh, and my kids think that they hate dictation. However, they will all corner me, usually around bed time or chore time, and talk my ear off about what they have been reading. This does mean that I am not writing it down or taping it, but I am able to gauge their comprehension and discuss relevant points with them. They have NO idea that this could be considered dictation! 
By the way, I have homeschooled for 11 years. I still deal with the anxiety, with occasional panic attacks, of picking the "right" curriculum/approach for each kid. The thing I try to remember is that a huge part of homeschooling is just that I am here and available to my kids whether they are doing a workbook page or I am reading aloud with a nursing baby on my lap and a toddler on my head!
Take a deep breath. Listen to the wise words of the other ladies here. Read a variety of "how-to" books. And remember one more thing- no decision you make is permanent, or will scar your kids for life!
One more thing, go give your husband a big kiss and a thank-you! Lots of men aren't as supportive, many have such high expectations that their wives feel tremendous pressure to "prove" that their homeschooling style works. You are blessed to have his support.
__________________
In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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mariB
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| Posted: March 17 2007 at 6:28am | IP Logged
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These are wonderful suggestions. I love the CM approach. I have homeschooled for 8 years and always have felt I should follow some sort of list, workbooks, etc.
It is true you must look at what you feel comfortable with. I have the problem of being too regimented at times. But through prayer God has helped me with this.
I like to combine both ways like Willa mentioned above. We follow some workbooks and plans, but what has given me the most joy this school year is what we call "gathering time".
We read the Mass readings for the day, pray the Rosary(not all of it!), and we do a couple of read alouds. We have done saint books and one good fiction book that all of us agree on, we have also included science related books also!(Does this sound familiar? It's in Elizabeth's book but we fell into it by accident.)
I understand you fully about the prepackaged curriculum because I have felt the same way and still struggle with it. Here is a side note. We follow Mother of Divine Grace syllabuses but we follow them very loosely. Now the other day when I was going through the kids' lesson plans, I realized we have not stuck to the plans very well, but I feel that they are still learning. I'd much rather give a dictation from a book they are enjoying than even from Intermediate Language Lessons by Emma Serle!
By the way, my oldest is fully enrolled with Seton and loves it. But, he always is with us at "gathering time" praying, listening, and sharing with all of us. I feel we have learned more at "gathering time" than any other time of the day!(We follow those plans very loosely. I think we have not looked at the lessons plans very often!)
God bless and I'm praying for you.
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marib-Mother to 22ds,21ds,18ds,15dd,11dd and wife to an amazing man for 23 years
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Cheryl
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| Posted: March 17 2007 at 7:48am | IP Logged
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Hello, I don't have much experience to share. I just wanted to say that I often get fearful and feel like I can't decide what to do in my homeschool. I don't like when I spent time planning something that I think will be fun for my children and the boys get all silly and don't pay attention. One thing that has been working for us lately are books on tape or CD. I read aloud to my children, so this is in addition to that. We started listening to stories that we got from the library while traveling in our van and they love it. Keep asking questions if you have any. This message board has been very helpful and encouraging to me.
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Cheryl
Wife to Bob ('97)
Mom to Matthew 13, Joseph 11, Sarah 10, Rachel 6, Hannah almost 4 and Mary 1
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Erin
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| Posted: March 17 2007 at 3:29pm | IP Logged
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mariB wrote:
We follow some workbooks and plans, but what has given me the most joy this school year is what we call "gathering time".
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Maria
What a beautiful title, 'gathering time'
Such wisdom you have been given already, what is important is that you feel inspired by whatever you chose, when you are dry that is reflected in your hsing.
I can just 'hear' the 'joy' in Maria's post
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Erin
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Nina Murphy
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| Posted: March 17 2007 at 7:15pm | IP Logged
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Your first sentence is about the fear you are beseiged with and overwhelming feelings. You are stressed. As much as I agree with everyone so far, this is indicative of something. If you are praying and in a state of grace, then this is happening for a *reason*. Maybe it *would* be better to go back to that daily lesson plan all organized and mapped out for you, that you can just rely on each day, and that your kids will pick up on and absorb: something that you are confident in. I think that you should not be stressed  , and should search your heart about what might help that you could consider, that you have control over.....?
I have homeschooled creatively , designing my own program, for more than 13 years, as Molly said, and for the first time, signing up with Seton---not to send in the work, but just to have the planning done and the daily organization and the thoroughness---is really calling out to me as the right thing to do for next year for my younger ones. I haven't decided one way or another and I am in a perpetual novena for the roses to fall from Heaven and light the path....BUT, I understand your anxieties. Sometimes in life, we go through times that are out of our control and we NEED imposed control.
And there will always be the ability to add in the living books and the fun field trip/nature excursion opportunities that come up. Always. We don't essentially change. Our love for those things will always be and the kids will benefit from our *essence*. It's OKAY to realize you need something, some adjustments. Life is fluid.
This is what I say to myself: If your fears/anxieties/mood/attitudes are within your control to change, then you have the responsibility to work on getting things better; but if you feel that they are overwhelming you and that you are not in control/ able to change, then it is your responsibility to get help. And to ask for help (prayers) to get to that point even! Which you are doing....so God will bless you and this. PEACE.
I will pray for you, sister. I'm sorry you are experiencing this fear....but I know it. I recognize it. And it is Lent....so lots to meditate on and give to the Lord and to surrender. ????
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God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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JennyMaine
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| Posted: March 18 2007 at 5:38pm | IP Logged
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Oh, do I understand what you're saying.
My initial reaction is to keep in mind that all homeschool methods have merit. There really isn't one I can point to and say with 100% confidence -- "hey, that's stupid". Rather they all have bits and pieces that can look good to us. That's ok. Also, we go through seasons in homeschooling that mirror our seasons in life. With babies, toddlers, and/or early learners in the picture we might not have time to implement time consuming methods. That may come later or maybe we'll simply never have the time.
Also, no matter what method I've tried, I seldom have my kids come running to me saying they love learning. Doesn't happen. I had to adjust to that, because it didn't match my idealic image of homeschooling.
Two books I've really enjoyed are "A Survivor's Guide to Homeschooling" and "When Homeschooling Gets Tough." These are very realistic books and are a great encouragement. Both authors remind us to focus on basics -- reading, writing, math, religion. All else is gravy during some seasons and that's ok. If your children settle down well for independent workbooks, then by all means use them. They can cover the basics in this way and then later in the day you can share good literature via a book on tape -- you'll enjoy it, too, because you aren't the one reading it aloud!(grin) Also, if you are living in fear that you aren't doing enough, there will be no joy. Maybe better to use a packaged curriculum for now, and then utilize your energy to do a few fun things with the kids that have absolutely nothing to do with education (bake cookies without turning it into a lesson on fractions, go to the museum and look without saying a word, etc.)
I love some of the ideas I find in a CM education, but there's no way I can implement them all. I take what I like and some seasons combine it with pure textbook learning -- other seasons, with unit studies. It's all good as long as the kids are making progress in the basic skills they'll need for further learning. I strongly encourage you to do what works for you -- what will keep you homeschooling long enough to see fruit? Which is more stressful for you -- using a program or flying solo? One of my favorite sayings is that a mother's heart is the child's schoolroom. You want to enjoy what you're doing as much as possible -- no matter what anyone else may think of your choices. You're the one who is going to make or break this endeavor, so follow where the Spirit is leading you!
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--JennyMaine, Mom to Catherine (17) and Sam (15) "The countenance is a reflection of the soul. You should always have a calm and serene countenance." -- Therese of Lisieux
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TracyQ
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| Posted: March 20 2007 at 12:53pm | IP Logged
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It doesn't have to be an all or nothing for any method of educating. What's best is that you find what's best for your children, and yourself. Pray, pray, pray! God will bring you PEACE when you decide according to His will for your homeschool.
*Comparison is the DEATH of Contentment!*
Sometimes we can do some of both or many things to create our own *method*. It's called the *eclectic method* of education. And it's what I've used for years and years!
There is nothing that Satan would love more, than for fear to grip your heart as you homeschool, because then there's less room for the Lord's will in your heart. This is something I combat every single day. I feel that I battle Satan constantly! But GOD wants to and WILL win because ultimately, you want what is His will for your family.
I have lifted you in prayer, that the Lord will lead and guide you to what His will is, and that His peace will envelop you when that decision is made.
God will bless you!!!
__________________
Blessings and Peace,
Tracy Q.
wife of Marty for 20 years, mom of 3 wonderful children (1 homeschool graduate, 1 12th grader, and a 9th grader),
 homeschooling in 15th year in Buffalo, NY
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: "how to school"
