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countrymom Forum Rookie
Joined: May 29 2014
Online Status: Offline Posts: 93
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Posted: March 13 2015 at 12:11pm | IP Logged
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I am looking for some perspective from some moms who have already been where I am. My oldest is 17. We have always homeschooled, had farm chores, and home chores, he holds down a part time job at this point as well, so responsibility should not be foreign to this child.
I have him do his own laundry, and take care of his own room. His room is constantly in a terrible state and his laundry leaves much to be desired. He leaves his things everywhere, is constantly loosing things (keys, scapulars, wallets)
I just don't know how to help him. I don't want to go in there and do the things for him, because I want him to do these things himself. The problem is, I think he has trouble organizing and prioritizing his time and his duties. He can't seem to figure out how to keep things neat and in order. I worry that he will EVER be able to go out and establish a Catholic household of his own. I mean if you can't even remember to brush your teeth and change your underthings, how the heck will you ever remember to keep your checkbook balanced???
Am I just freaking out, do they get it eventually? How can I help him. You see so many looser video game playing living in moms basement until 40 immature men boys these days....I know that this really does go on in some lives for ever.
I just would not wish this on any young woman so I want to do what I can so his future wife does not hate me later
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JodieLyn Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 06 2006 Location: Oregon
Online Status: Offline Posts: 12234
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Posted: March 13 2015 at 12:28pm | IP Logged
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The motivation of a young woman will do more in a moment for him to clean up than you can do in years
My son is 16 and it seems to be much more about the "lazies" than any sort of being overwhelmed.
We lost power the other day for about an hour.. I told my dh that now I know how to get everyone to do stuff.. I'll just go out and throw the breakers
__________________ Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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SeaStar Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 16 2006
Online Status: Offline Posts: 9068
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Posted: March 13 2015 at 12:54pm | IP Logged
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JodieLyn wrote:
The motivation of a young woman will do more in a moment for him to clean up than you can do in years
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Oh, my goodness- yes!
I saw this with my brother... he was very much the way you describe your son. Then the right girl came along and said she was no way, no how spending her life with a pizza delivery boy
She encouraged him to join the Air Force, where he still is some 20 plus years later. He is the father of four, has been all over the world, and he does all the cooking.
There is hope!!
__________________ Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
SQUILT Music Appreciation
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jawgee Forum All-Star
Joined: May 02 2011 Location: New Hampshire
Online Status: Offline Posts: 1415
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Posted: March 13 2015 at 12:54pm | IP Logged
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countrymom wrote:
His room is constantly in a terrible state and his laundry leaves much to be desired. He leaves his things everywhere, is constantly loosing things (keys, scapulars, wallets) |
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My 13YO DS is upstairs cleaning his pigsty room right now. Along with that he has to put away his clothes that have been on the drying rack for three days.
I have to remind myself again and again that this is normal for teenagers. He loses things all the time too, though, and it is so frustrating. How can you lose s bright red Taekwondo belt if it is put in your uniform crate where it belongs? How do you lose a Rubik's Cube for two weeks when you play with it every day? Why is your wallet empty but I can kick around in your room and find a spare $20 on the floor?
__________________ Monica
C (12/2001), N (11/2005), M (5/2008), J (8/2009) and three angels
The Catholic Cup on Facebook
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LLMom Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 19 2005
Online Status: Offline Posts: 995
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Posted: March 14 2015 at 9:52pm | IP Logged
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Yes, it just takes time. I have a 22 year old son and an 18 year old son. Both are still like this although the older one has improved a lot. I also have a 24 year old daughter. It seems she got it much faster than the boys.
__________________ Lisa
For veteran & former homeschool moms
homeschooling ideas
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